TIMO - Chapter 47
Chapter 47
A very, very long dream.
So long that Fu Zhao thought she must be dying, and this was her life flashing before her eyes.
But everything she dreamed of wasn't her life, but rather all the experiences of the original host.
The dream was from a first-person perspective. Unlike the previous times when Fu Zhao's voice lingered in her ears, she was now experiencing everything the original Fu Zhao had gone through with immense clarity.
It was completely immersive.
Fragmented memories flooded into the dream all at once.
Memories of her childhood off-island with Gu Shubai were lifeless and melancholic.
A fragment flashed by.
Before her was a floor-to-ceiling window. Moonlight streamed in through the curtains, clear and bright. A black-haired woman in a white shirt sat by the window, slivers of moonlight falling on the side of her face. She was thin and her face was drawn and haggard.
“Xiao Zhao, come here~~”
The soft call caused a deep sadness to well up in Fu Zhao's heart.
“Mom...”
She called out involuntarily, dropping the schoolbag from her shoulder to the floor. She walked over gently and stood in front of Gu Shubai.
Gu Shubai's eyes curved softly as she smiled. She raised a hand and gently rubbed her head, her touch light. Her gaze was filled with anticipation and hope. “Xiao Zhao has gotten taller again...”
“Our Xiao Zhao needs to hurry up and differentiate into an Alpha...”
After saying this, the woman in front of her sighed softly, raised her wine glass, and took a large gulp. Leaning against the window, she said no more.
But Fu Zhao felt as if she were frozen in place by those light words. A chill ran up from the soles of her feet, and an indescribable sorrow lodged in her heart, a bone-deep ache.
In her memories, Gu Shubai wasn't bad to Fu Zhao. She just spent nearly every day drinking, or she was out working and never home.
On the few nights the mother and daughter spent together, Gu Shubai would also pat Fu Zhao's back gently, lulling her to sleep. Those were the happiest moments of young Fu Zhao's life.
But every time she was drifting off to sleep, she would hear sigh after sigh from behind her, followed by words spoken softly in a sorrowful, choked voice, repeated over and over,
“If only Mom could one day see Xiao Zhao differentiate into an Alpha.”
“Xiao Zhao, you must be an Alpha, only then can you avoid being bullied.”
“A Beta with no Pheromones will eventually be eliminated by the future.”
Before Fu Zhao turned fourteen, these words permeated every corner of her life. Every time Gu Shubai said them, a seed was planted in Fu Zhao's heart, one that eventually grew into a towering tree.
But among those memory fragments, there were also some that Fu Zhao considered lucky.
For example, the clean, white hand that reached out to her when she was pushed into a puddle and fell by others in her grade.
The scene flashed again.
A cold wind hit her face, and the rain drizzled down.
It was a rainy day, filled with a biting chill. There was no wind, just a light, drizzling rain that formed many puddles on the road. Almost everyone passing by was hiking up their trouser legs, afraid of stepping in a puddle and getting splashed with mud.
Before she could react, a strong force shoved her, and she fell backward.
Her palms scraped against the rough, gritty ground, drawing blood. The rainwater and mud seeping into the wounds stung, sending a piercing pain through her whole hand, jolting her awake from her daze.
The falling rain blurred her vision, making it difficult to see the situation clearly. She only knew that her clothes were soaked through, but she didn't have the strength to get up.
She looked up to see a short-haired boy with sharp features and a sneer on his face. He emptied her schoolbag into a puddle-books, a diary, and the pendant Gu Shubai had given her to carry with her were all submerged in the water, completely soaked.
“Just as I thought, a Beta destined to never differentiate. A light push and you fall right over.”
“I heard you’re trying to snatch the scholarship spot from Liu Shan?”
“Someone like you... I advise you to return the spot to Liu Shan right now. He’s destined to differentiate into an A-grade Alpha...”
“You don’t deserve to be his competitor.”
“Got it?”
Who was Liu Shan?
The pelting rain made her dizzy. She shook her head, and the water dripping from her hair splattered onto her face, stinging her. Only then did she finally remember what was happening.
The Fu Zhao from that time was gloomy, fragile, and had very little presence. She should have been able to keep a low profile and go unnoticed, but that day, for some reason, she ran into a group of arrogant school bullies on her way home.
The leader was Wei Zhen, a well-known delinquent in their grade, who had come to question her about the scholarship spot.
She hadn't differentiated yet, but the school had organized a physical examination for everyone. According to the results, there was a 99% chance she would never differentiate in her lifetime and would remain an ordinary Beta.
She hadn't dared to tell Gu Shubai this result yet, still clinging to a sliver of hope, the 1% possibility that she could differentiate into the Alpha Gu Shubai dreamed day and night for her to become.
As for whether she herself wanted to become an Alpha, that didn't seem to matter.
The large group left her with harsh words, shoving her into the puddle and looking down on her imperiously.
“You'd better remember, all resources in this world are prioritized for Alphas. Alphas are the most superior gender in this world.”
Those words echoed in her ears for a long time.
The clothes clinging to her skin felt cold, and the water streaming down from her head chilled her. The pain in her palms was constant. It was humiliation, misery, and anger.
But for some reason, no matter how angry she felt inside, she couldn't seem to move. She just listened in silence, not saying a word. After the group left, she remained sitting on the ground, soaked to the bone. Icy rain poured down on her, blurring her vision.
She flexed her hand, and the piercing pain made her suck in a sharp breath, bringing her back to her senses. The rain washed over the wound, carrying blood from the side of her palm to drip into the puddle, creating blood-tinged ripples.
Until, suddenly, the rain on her head seemed to stop. No more drops pelted down on her.
Only then did she raise her head. Water dripped from her eyelashes, and the person in front of her became hazy, blurred by the constant drops falling in her line of sight.
A tall, slender girl stood before her, wearing the same dark blue school uniform as her. The blazer was impeccably pressed, the light blue shirt underneath buttoned up neatly. A short skirt wrapped around her fair, long legs. The low ponytail tied at the back of her head was lifted into a beautiful arc by the wind, and strands of hair at her forehead drifted lightly.
Her skin was very fair, and her features had the youthfulness of a girl who hadn't fully matured, but one could still glimpse the stunning beauty she would possess one day in her beautiful, tea-brown eyes.
But for the Fu Zhao of that time, she was already breathtaking.
The umbrella cast a slight shadow on the girl's face. Her cool eyes shone brightly even on this rainy day, her gaze shifting, bright and gentle. It was a rainy day, so logically, there shouldn't have been any sunlight. But in that memory, at that glance, she still saw a soft, thin halo of light emanating from the girl's side.
A wrist as fair as white jade extended from a sleeve, her palm gripping a long-handled umbrella. The canopy of the umbrella was tilted toward her.
The pitter-patter of the rain hit the umbrella's surface, making a soft, rustling sound. The wind was blowing at an angle, so some rain drifted in sideways. The girl in front of her seemed to notice this and tilted the umbrella a little more in her direction.
Along with this incredibly real experience, the girl standing right in front of her frowned slightly, looking down at her. A clear, bright light flashed in her eyes. Other fragmented memories combined and swirled in her mind, making her understand exactly which day this was.
That day should have been an incredibly painful memory for Fu Zhao. She had been trampled underfoot like dirt.
But because of Shi Nan's appearance, it became a lucky memory.
To be honest, Fu Zhao was furious at that moment, but her cowardly and self-loathing nature had conditioned her to hide her anger deep inside, never showing it. So she just dug her fingertips into her scraped palm, using the intense physical pain to alleviate the unvented rage in her heart.
Fu Zhao recognized the person in front of her. This was the school beauty, the most popular girl among students and teachers, the heiress of the Shi Corporation restaurant chain, and the only S-class Omega detected in the school-wide physical exam-Shi Nan.
A string of titles. One look and it was clear they weren't from the same world-not like her, who deserved to be drenched in the rain, to fall in the mud.
She wiped the rain from her face, pursed her lips, and said a "thank you." She didn't say anything else, just fished her soaked schoolbag out of the water and picked up the books, diary, and pendant one by one, putting them back in the bag.
Then she used her injured palm to push herself up from the ground.
She was malnourished back then, underdeveloped, and habitually hunched her back. When she stood up, she only reached Shi Nan's chin.
“You take this.”
A soft, pleasant voice sounded in her ear, mingling with the whisper of the rain. It drifted in the rain and wind that day, sounding exceptionally beautiful.
Fu Zhao froze. She subconsciously reached out to take the handle offered by that fair, clean hand. But the next second, Shi Nan's hand flinched back. She frowned, her gaze dropping to Fu Zhao's palm, and said softly, “Your other hand.”
Fu Zhao said nothing, just silently took the umbrella handle with her other hand. Her hand rested just above the spot Shi Nan had just held. She didn't dare grip it lower, afraid she would get the other girl's hand dirty when she returned the umbrella.
Seeing her obediently clutching the handle, Shi Nan smiled faintly. She then took a water bottle and a handkerchief from her own bag and used the water to rinse the mud and grit from around the wound.
The cool, clean water flowed over the wound. The stream was gentle, a thousand times better than the rain pelting down on it.
Fair fingertips held the clean, soft handkerchief, gently dabbing at the rinsed wound, then wiping away the bloodstains.
“I don't have any medicine on me right now. Remember to apply some when you get back, so it doesn't get infected.”
Fu Zhao just watched, practically forgetting to blink.
They were under one umbrella, so naturally, they were very close.
She had to tilt her head up slightly to see Shi Nan's face. As her gaze traveled up, she could clearly see Shi Nan's lowered, gently trembling eyelashes. She could feel Shi Nan's warm breath and smell the faint, fragrant scent wafting from her.
She was so close that if she took just one more step, she felt she could hear Shi Nan's heartbeat.
But even without taking that step, she could hear her own.
She held the umbrella handle carefully. She was soaked from head to toe. Her clothes, hands, and feet were all covered in wet mud and rainwater, which dripped from the hem of her clothes to the ground.
Shi Nan was perfectly clean, standing under the umbrella. Even the strands of her hair caught by the wind formed a perfect, beautiful arc, and the light in her eyes sparkled.
Even though they were standing under the same umbrella at that moment, they would not be walking in the same direction.
Fu Zhao lived in the slums of RT Planet and attended school on a scholarship.
Shi Nan lived in the wealthy district of RT Planet, was chauffeured in luxury cars, and was utterly pampered.
Although the public school brought these two completely different types of people together, in the end, they would never cross paths again. They were like two intersecting lines that meet at only one point; once past that point, they would only grow farther and farther apart, never to meet again.
She would never differentiate, would never get superior resources. She would only be a mediocre Beta her entire life, and she might never escape the slums.
Shi Nan would differentiate into a one-in-a-million S-class Omega. Her family was wealthy enough to support her in anything she wanted to do. She was supposed to meet and fall in love with a one-in-a-million Alpha.
That moment was lucky, and it was also tragic.
The first time Fu Zhao met Shi Nan, she also, for the first time, felt the sorrow that clung to Gu Shubai.
Shi Nan left the umbrella and handkerchief with Fu Zhao, gave her a beautiful smile, and then ran through the rain a few steps back to the limousine waiting over there.
The car door closed, and that fleeting moment of luck was retracted.
From that day on, Shi Nan was different, special, to Fu Zhao.
Whenever Fu Zhao was at school, her gaze, her eyes, held only Shi Nan.
On the training field, Shi Nan, in her training uniform, ponytail swinging in a beautiful arc, her slender, jade-like neck glowing in the sun, the light in her eyes shining brighter and brighter.
In the classroom, Shi Nan wore the same uniform as everyone else, yet it was as if she had her own soft-focus filter. Her skin was translucent and fair, her smile gentle, her eyes curving as she joked with others.
At the graduation ceremony, Shi Nan spoke on stage as the outstanding graduate representative. She was radiant and full of confidence, her uniform collar neat, her voice gentle. Every glance, every word, seemed to land with precise impact on her heart.
Thump-thump... thump-thump.
The story should have ended there. Shi Nan went on to a prestigious high school on RT Planet, while she could only remain in the public school.
But unexpectedly, Gu Shubai passed away after her middle school graduation. Because of the pendant that had been dumped out, she was brought to Nanke Island by Fu Wanqing and became Nanke Island's Little Island Master. She now had the social standing to match Shi Nan.
Except for her gender.
Fu Zhao cared about this a great deal, but she couldn't change this fact determined by birth. So she could only stay on the island, silently following everything about Shi Nan on the StarNet.
She watched Shi Nan finish high school, attend the best business university in the interstellar, and be pursued by the "Interstellar's Most Alpha Goddess" Shen Caiwei, the interstellar achievement award winner Lu Jingmo, and the Sheng Corporation heir Sheng Yun.
She watched Shi Nan graduate from the best business university, not immediately inheriting the family company, but choosing to dedicate two of her most vibrant years to public service. She joined the Omega Rescue Center and spent two years drifting across countless planets in the interstellar, participating in the cause of rescuing Omegas.
Some people say that if you meet someone too stunning when you are in dire straits, your eyes will never be able to hold anyone else afterward.
That was Fu Zhao.
That's why, when she heard she was already engaged, she knelt in the cemetery for three days and three nights without eating or drinking, begging Fu Wanqing to break the engagement. Later, when she found out her fiancée was Shi Nan, she thought Fu Wanqing was lying to her.
It wasn't until Shi Nan arrived on the island that it finally felt real.
The scattered memory fragments pieced together a complete timeline, playing out frame by frame in her dream. And this time, she wasn't an observer; she was experiencing it firsthand.
The memories on the island were happy. Under Fu Wanqing's governance, Nanke Island had abolished the old gender hierarchy, and gender discrimination had improved. Compared to RT Planet, Fu Zhao was happy and joyful on the island.
The scene before her eyes changed again. The feeling of her feet landing on solid ground made her stumble slightly.
A tall, futuristic building stood before her. A surging crowd passed by, splattering raindrops. The ground was perfectly flat, with no puddles or dips.
There was a fine rain and a slanted wind, but there was also warm sunlight shining down on everyone. A hazy halo of light hung in the air. The patter of rain, the noise of the crowd, the mechanical announcements-it all poured into her ears at once.
A boisterous wind gusted by. She couldn't help but raise a hand to shield her eyes, but brilliant, hot sunlight still slipped through her fingers, dancing before her.
It was a sunshower.
The sight jolted Fu Zhao to her senses. She realized this, and also felt that she was holding something in her hand, something long and thin that her fingertips were tracing.
She glanced sideways. It was an umbrella handle. This time, she was the one holding the umbrella. It seemed to be the same one-a long, J-handled umbrella with a dark gray canopy. It was the umbrella Shi Nan had left her.
So much time had passed, but the umbrella still looked new, as if it had been well preserved.
Her gaze swept over her surroundings and herself. Only then did she realize she was dressed immaculately. Her white shirt was free of wrinkles, spotless, as if she had dressed up specifically to welcome someone.
The other memories that popped into her head from time to time always left her in a daze. Even when dragged into a tangible memory, she was slow to react.
Until, in the distance, a tall, slender figure emerged from the building's main entrance. She wore a white shirt, the collar not as neat as before, but slightly open, revealing a beautiful, delicate collarbone. Her black hair fell naturally on her shoulders, the shoulder-length cut perfectly framing the elegant lines of her neck and shoulders.
A few strands of hair by her ear were lifted by the wind. Her fair skin glowed translucently in the sunlight. Just by standing there, she had already captured all of her attention.
Probably because she didn't have an umbrella, Shi Nan hesitated after walking out the door and didn't venture any further.
Fu Zhao walked over, her steps light, accompanied by the drum-like pounding of her heart. Closer and closer, until she could clearly see the Shi Nan who had appeared before her once again.
The first thing she saw was her eyes. They were clear and bright, the shape somewhat long and narrow, with slender, dense eyelashes. The edges of her tea-brown pupils shimmered with a pale light, soft and expressive.
Next was her delicate, straight nose, and her lips, neither too thick nor too thin, the corners naturally turned up in a faint, almost-there smile.
Fu Zhao met that pair of beautiful eyes. Even though she felt like her head was steaming under that gaze, she braced herself and moved her umbrella over, pulling her lips into what she considered her most perfect smile.
“Shi Nan, hello. I’m Fu Zhao.”
“Your middle school classmate. I don’t know if you still remember me.” She introduced herself as a middle school classmate, not as her fiancée.
But Shi Nan clearly didn't remember who she was, nor did she remember the umbrella in her hand. She just gave her a polite smile and walked with her under the umbrella toward the waiting car.
Fu Zhao was nervous, even a little afraid her heart would beat so fast it might explode.
She had thought she would never have the chance to stand under the same umbrella with Shi Nan again. But she never expected that not only would she get this chance, but she would even become Shi Nan's fiancée-even if Shi Nan didn't remember her, even if Shi Nan had apparently come to Nanke Island with the intention of breaking the engagement.
She was still happy about it.
Her heart even sped up when their shoulders accidentally brushed.
She didn't dare speak, because those two sentences of greeting were already her limit. The best she could do now was to calm her heart and hold her breath, so as not to startle the Shi Nan who was so, so close to her.
Shi Nan didn't speak either, just walked silently beside her.
The walk was very short, so short that before she knew it, she was already sitting next to Shi Nan in the back seat of the car.
The umbrella was folded and placed in the car, dampening the expensive carpet, but she didn't care. She was only paying attention to Shi Nan, sitting beside her.
“Fu Zhao...”
Shi Nan's voice sounded in her ear, calling her name. The end of it was soft, like a lover's murmur.
She clutched the corner of her shirt, turning her head in a fluster. She stammered, “Wh-What is it?”
Shi Nan looked over, ripples moving in her beautiful tea-brown eyes, flickering in the pale golden light streaming in from the window. “You know I came here specifically to break our engagement, right?”
It was like a basin of ice water being poured over a red-hot iron.
A sentence whose outcome she already knew struck her ears like a clap of thunder, setting off a cataclysmic reaction, a landslide and a tsunami.
Knowing the fact and hearing Shi Nan say it herself were two different things.
A surging pain flooded her heart, as if her heart was being soaked in seawater-salty, bitter, sour, and swollen.
But she endured the aching fullness, clutching the damp corner of her white shirt that had gotten wet when she folded the umbrella. She nodded lightly, smiled at Shi Nan, and said the one fact she least wanted to admit,
“Yes, I know.”
“It's okay. I can show you around the island. Didn't you just get back from UT Planet? You can get some rest...”
Shi Nan hummed softly and looked away from her. Her gaze fell on the passing scenery outside the window, her profile hidden by her hair, her expression unreadable.
Fu Zhao couldn't continue. She just closed her eyes gently and let out a long breath, her voice soft.
“The engagement... we can discuss breaking it off anytime.”
“I actually didn't know about the engagement either. This all happened so suddenly. To be honest, I don't understand why we have a marriage contract between us...”
“I've said too much. I'm sorry.”
“Anyway...” She paused, suppressing the sourness rising in her heart, and spoke again, “I feel the same way you do. But if you need to use our engagement to deal with someone, I can cooperate.”
Shi Nan was silent for a moment, then leaned against the car window and gently closed her eyes.
“Mm, in that case, I'm relieved.”
“Neither of us needs to feel sorry for the other, right?”
Fu Zhao's gaze lingered on Shi Nan's weary expression for a moment. Though reluctant, she looked away and said softly,
“Mm.”
Even if the story had ended here, it would have been a good ending for Fu Zhao.
But it didn't.
Fu Zhao hid her feelings, choosing to stay by Shi Nan's side as a friend, maintaining the boundaries and distance of a friend.
This was the person who made her heart race with a single glance, yet her feet would always stop the moment Shi Nan and Shen Caiwei were alone. Her gaze would retract just as Shi Nan looked at Shen Caiwei. The words she spoke never matched her heart.
She wouldn't appear in Shi Nan's life often, only when Shi Nan needed her, using friendship as a shield. She always participated in Shi Nan's life as a bystander, alone in bearing the love that only she knew about in this relationship.
Her most recent physical contact with Shi Nan was the moment she died in her arms.
This long dream was about to end, and she had returned to that moment of unwillingness and regret.
The pain coming from all over her body was incredibly real. Her breathing was as heavy as a roar; every breath she took intensified the pain.
Her vision was blurry, her ears filled with chaos.
She couldn't see Shi Nan's face clearly, but she could feel the warmth draining from her body, feel the arm holding her tighten its grip.
“Fu Zhao... Fu Zhao...”
It was a call, choked with sobs, heart-wrenching, making her want to cry just from listening.
In the end, she still couldn't say it.
Before her consciousness faded completely, she realized that dying willingly for someone, like in the stories, was a very difficult thing to do. Even though she loved Shi Nan deeply, at that moment, she was still unwilling. She still felt it was a pity, a regret.
She had read so many stories, but only when it happened to her did she realize that even if you die for the one you love, you don't die without regrets.
There were so many things she was unwilling to let go of, playing out one by one before her eyes.
She shouldn't have stopped there.
Perhaps she should have been more proactive, tried a little harder.
If, when Shi Nan held the umbrella for her, she had mustered the courage to tell Shi Nan her name;
If, at the Nanke Island starport during the sunshower, she had tried to discuss the engagement with Shi Nan;
If, when Shi Nan looked at her so openly, she had also looked back frankly... If she could have been more honest, told Shi Nan that in this world, there was a Fu Zhao, who was a Beta, but who still loved her...
So many thoughts, but none could change the fact that she was about to die.
She couldn't open her eyes. Darkness enveloped her.
Finally, scalding tears fell, one after another, hitting her face, accompanied by the heart-wrenching sobs that continued in her ears, ending this absurd and laughable dream.
Consciousness slowly returned. The sounds in her ears gradually grew noisy. Someone was chattering incessantly by her ear, a bit loud... There seemed to be music, too, very familiar, like a song she had heard before. Accompanying the music was a clear, sweet voice, also somewhat familiar.
It sounded like Shi Nan's voice.
Realizing this, she struggled to open her eyes. The darkness before her was slowly split by a line of white, gradually replaced by the sight of her surroundings.
What came into view was a pure white ceiling, and a pendant light hanging from it, glowing with a halo that made her eyes sting.
Strength began to return to her body.
She was in a daze. She tentatively wiggled her fingers. Her head was splitting, and the pain of being pierced seemed to linger in her body.
It wasn't until Kong Weiyan's loud voice rang out, chattering on like an open floodgate, that she finally snapped out of her daze. Her gaze landed on the group of people in white coats who rushed in. She looked at them blankly, complying with their requests to perform certain actions, and only then did she remember who she was.
The dream had been too real, and too long. Just dreaming it had exhausted her. She was even starting to be unable to tell whether it was the original host's memory or her own.
So real that it made her feel that she was the Fu Zhao who had died in Shi Nan's arms.
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