TIMO - Chapter 51
Chapter 51
Fu Zhao didn’t react, just stared blankly at Shi Nan.
Shi Nan looked back, her eyes and brows curving gently, her gaze shimmering slightly. The sunlight slanting in from the window cast a halo around her tea-brown eyes, giving them the delicate, translucent quality of glass.
After a long moment.
Fu Zhao felt her palm being squeezed lightly, and then she heard Shi Nan speak, her tone soft and gentle, “I want some water~~”
“Oh… okay…”
She answered subconsciously, then abruptly pulled her hand from Shi Nan’s grasp. She poured a glass of water and handed it to Shi Nan. “It’s warm. Don’t drink it too fast.”
“I didn’t sleep well.” Shi Nan didn’t take the glass. She just stared quietly at Fu Zhao and said this one sentence.
Fu Zhao froze for a few seconds before it dawned on her that Shi Nan had heard what she’d said. Her fingertips rubbed against the transparent glass cup a few times. She brought the cup closer again, her tone a little unnatural. “When did you wake up?”
Shi Nan drank the water as Fu Zhao held the cup for her. Her already rosy lips became even more lustrous with the moisture. After a few sips, she took Fu Zhao’s other arm, her palm resting lightly on her wrist before tightening its grip.
“I don’t know either…” She raised an eyebrow, her palm and fingertips gently caressing Fu Zhao’s wrist. “I just heard someone jabbering in my ear, complaining that I left without saying goodbye, blaming me for not taking the engagement gift, and sniffling and crying. It was so noisy that I had no choice but to try my best to wake up.”
So she had heard everything.
Realizing this, Fu Zhao paused as she was placing the glass on the nearby table. Her gaze fell on Shi Nan’s fingertips, which were still holding her tight. The warmth on her wrist seemed to spread. Thinking about the words she had just said, the temperature of her face rose rapidly. “You just woke up. I’ll go get the doctor to check on you…”
As she spoke, she turned to leave, but the next second, the grip on her wrist tightened. She was suddenly pulled back, and her eyes met those of the person lying on the hospital bed.
Shi Nan lay on her back, her gaze clear and bright again, a circle of enchanting light held within. Her eyelashes trembled slightly. The shoulders beneath the hospital gown were slender, making the blue gown look large and empty. The wrist peeking out from the sleeve was pale and thin. “I want to be with you for a while first.”
“We haven’t seen each other for so long… I have a lot I want to say to you, too.”
Her soft voice echoed in the quiet hospital room, like ripples spreading through the air. Her whisper-like tone was tender and gentle.
The tension in Fu Zhao’s body instantly dissipated. The wrist that had stiffened subconsciously went limp at Shi Nan’s light words, obediently remaining in her grasp.
“If you have something to say, just say it…” She pressed her lips together, her eyes lowered. “After you’re done, I’ll go get the doctor and then notify the others. They’re very worried about you too.”
“Silly~~”
A smile bloomed on Shi Nan’s lips. “I do have a lot to say to you, but the point isn’t for me to finish saying it. The point is, I want to be alone with you for a while first. Don’t you understand that?”
Fu Zhao had heard Shi Nan say, “I want to be with you for a while first,” but she hadn’t truly understood that this was what she meant. She moved her lips, stammering, and finally managed to squeeze out a single “Oh” from her throat.
“Pfft-”
Shi Nan let out a soft laugh, the smile in her eyes so rich it could almost melt. “So, what do you want to hear me say first?”
“I want you to get a check-up right away, to make sure you’re okay.”
That was Fu Zhao’s reply. This was just her personality. When Shi Nan was unconscious, she could say anything without holding back. But now that Shi Nan was awake and looking at her with those gentle, enchanting tea-brown eyes, she became awkward and wanted to take back everything she had said before.
In short, she wasn’t used to expressing her feelings so directly.
Shi Nan knew this clearly. She squeezed the center of Fu Zhao’s wrist and said softly, “Then I’ll keep it short.”
Fu Zhao lowered her eyes and said softly, “Okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
Fu Zhao hadn’t expected this to be the first thing Shi Nan wanted to say. She looked up, surprise coloring her eyes, but she immediately realized what Shi Nan was talking about. She pursed her lips and said softly, “It’s nothing. I forgive you.”
Regarding Shi Nan leaving without a word and not taking the pillow with her—the moment she heard about Shi Nan’s accident, or rather… the moment Shi Nan left that letter, the moment she finished reading it, she had already forgiven her.
“It’s different…” Shi Nan blinked slowly, her gaze frank as she looked at Fu Zhao. “You forgiving me and me apologizing are two different things. I can’t use your… feelings for me to do things that hurt you.”
Fu Zhao froze, feeling that the words Shi Nan was using were a bit too serious. She spoke awkwardly, “It’s not really hurting me. You had things you needed to do, I couldn’t possibly stop you. Besides, I don’t feel like you were using my feelings. It’s not like I have any special feelings for you…”
After saying this, her gaze unconsciously darted to Shi Nan’s face, only to quickly retract when she met the shimmering light in the other’s eyes. She cleared her throat and continued.
“What I mean is… at the very least, we’re still fiancées. If you were going to leave, you should have at least said a proper goodbye-”
“I know.”
Shi Nan interrupted her, her gaze fixed on Fu Zhao. “That’s why I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Fu Zhao. You can blame me for leaving without a word, for not taking the gift, for sleeping for so long and not waking up… blame me for biting you that day-”
“I don’t blame you anymore.” Fu Zhao didn’t let Shi Nan finish. The memory of Shi Nan pinning her to the bed and biting her made her clutch the corner of her clothes again. “Aside from you leaving without a word and the gift, none of the other things were your fault. I know you didn’t want them to happen.”
“As for the culprit behind this incident, we already know it’s Lu Jingmo. This time, she will receive the punishment she deserves. The Interstellar Court should be in session in a couple of days. If you want to see her being locked up with your own eyes, we can go to the Interstellar Court together. Mother told me to act as a witness representing Nanke Island.”
Shi Nan squeezed Fu Zhao’s fingertips and hummed in agreement. She didn’t want to hear that name right now, so she changed the subject. Her gaze fell on the several layers of silver isolation patches stuck to the back of Fu Zhao’s neck, a hint of confusion in her eyes. “You said before that you differentiated into an Alpha. Was it because I bit-”
“No!”
Fu Zhao denied it quickly. Noticing Shi Nan’s drifting gaze, she felt a little self-conscious and raised a hand to cover the gland on her neck, even though it was covered by the patches. Even through the layers, she could feel the soft, warm touch of the raised flesh, which made her feel a bit unaccustomed. She spoke with complicated feelings, “It’s not your fault.”
“Doctor Liu said it wasn’t detected before, but my predicted differentiation period was around age 28… this time it just came early.”
“It’s nothing.” She forced a relaxed smile. “It’s just that my differentiation came six years early. Differentiating sooner means I can get used to it sooner. I should thank you for this, otherwise, if I really differentiated at 28, I’d be in even more of a panic.”
“Fu Zhao…”
Shi Nan called her name, her gaze wavering slightly. The hand gripping hers loosened, then shifted to interlock their fingers, just as they had done before. “It’s okay. You can blame me. You can be scared. There’s no rule that says the Little Island Master of Nanke Island can’t be scared after suddenly differentiating into an Alpha. I know there are many things you’re unfamiliar with right now, and you must feel uncomfortable.”
“You don’t have to…” She paused, her eyes roaming over Fu Zhao, the light in her beautiful, translucent amber eyes swirling along with them. A faint trace of moisture appeared. She felt a pang of heartache and deliberately softened her voice, “...be afraid of making me feel guilty and choose to bear all this alone.”
“I told you, I will be responsible for you.”
In the ABO world, this phrase—“I will be responsible for you”—was often heard, usually after an Alpha marked an Omega. It was extremely rare for an Omega to say it to an Alpha, as they were now.
Fu Zhao lifted her eyes to meet Shi Nan’s. The moisture in her eyes grew, but she felt a sense of awkwardness in her heart. It wasn’t because an Omega was saying this to an Alpha, but because of the implied meaning behind the words: she and Shi Nan had become an Omega and an Alpha.
She was silent for a moment, her tone dropping.
“I don’t need you to be responsible for me, Shi Nan. This is what I’m most afraid of. Because I differentiated into an Alpha, the relationships between me and the people around me have changed, as if I’m no longer Fu Zhao, but just an Alpha…”
“Do you understand?” she asked, her voice tinged with sadness. “I don’t want our relationship to become one that’s easily influenced by pheromones.”
“I don’t want you to be nice to me, to talk to me, while holding onto this baseless sense of apology. And I don’t want our interactions in the future to be because of the influence of pheromones, rather than emotions and reason…”
The more Fu Zhao spoke, the more upset she became. Her voice grew muffled, and her whole demeanor turned listless, as if the most painful thorn buried deep in her heart had been partially pulled out, but not completely, leaving her in an even more uncomfortable state of limbo.
“Silly~~”
The call that reached her ears was soft and tender. The fingers interlocked with hers were suddenly squeezed, followed by a gentle, soothing scratch.
Warm fingertips touched the corner of her eye, gently wiping away a teardrop that had escaped. She looked up in a daze, meeting the shimmering light in Shi Nan’s eyes.
“I understand what you’re worried about, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking you’re a silly goose.” Shi Nan pinched Fu Zhao’s cheek and huffed. “None of this has happened, has it?”
“Xiao Qing and Ye Er are the best examples. After they differentiated, did you look at them and only see them as an Alpha and an Omega? No. In your eyes, they are still Jiang Wenqing and Ye Er. To you, it’s just that Jiang Wenqing became an Alpha, so she needs to memorize and abide by the Ten Standards of Alpha Virtue, and Ye Er just became an Omega, but he can still do whatever he wants to do…”
Fu Zhao listened in silence. Shi Nan was right. When these things happened to others, she didn’t think much of it, but once it happened to her, she tended to get stuck in her own head.
She wouldn’t change her opinion of Jiang Wenqing and Ye Er because of their secondary genders. Logically, others wouldn’t either. The simplest example was Kong Weiyan. Even though she had become an Alpha and her pheromones were repulsive to Kong Weiyan, Kong Weiyan still stayed by her side during the days she couldn’t control her pheromones. Even though Kong Weiyan felt uncomfortable around her pheromones, she didn’t distance herself because of it.
When Kong Weiyan faced her, it was still emotion, not pheromones, that determined her attitude.
It was a truth she should have figured out long ago, but she only understood it when Shi Nan said it so directly.
As if sensing her distraction, her palm was squeezed again.
She was forced back to the present, continuing to listen to Shi Nan’s soft, gentle voice.
“It’s the same for me.”
“Whether you’re an Alpha, a Beta, or even if you suddenly become an Omega one day, I will never define you by your gender. You’re still that Fu Zhao, and I’m still this Shi Nan.”
“Even though we are fiancées, and even if one day we become real wives, I won’t think of you as my Alpha, and I believe you won’t think of me as your Omega…”
Seeing the look of understanding dawning on Fu Zhao’s face, Shi Nan’s lips curved into a gentle smile, her eyes and brows arching softly as she spoke, word by word, “As for the influence of pheromones, I don’t think you need to care about that either…”
“After all, our relationship has never been decided by pheromones. I’m confident that our relationship won’t change because of a substance like pheromones in the future.”
“Even if one day, pheromones truly have an irreversible impact on our relationship…” She paused, meeting Fu Zhao’s eyes to make sure she understood she was referring to things like “marking,” before she continued, “it would absolutely not be because of the pheromones themselves…”
“But because of my uncontrollable emotions for you.”
Comments
Post a Comment