TIMO - Chapter 28

Chapter 28

That sentence voiced Fu Zhao's current thoughts.

Just like the ending that lay between them, Fu Zhao had recently started to have an idea: it wasn't necessary for one of them to die. It didn't have to be a life-or-death struggle where one took a knife for the other and the survivor lived on their behalf.

They weren't mortal enemies.

More importantly, compared to being "enemies" or "wary strangers" with Shi Nan, she seemed to prefer becoming good friends who could share with and help each other.

Since many things had already changed after her arrival, the original ending in that book wasn't guaranteed to happen. Their current life trajectories didn't completely overlap with what was written in the original book.

She and Shi Nan didn't necessarily have to become strangers with no emotional connection because of that ending.

Perhaps there were other ways.

Just like you could switch to a bigger umbrella on a rainy day, or she could have her family's driver pick her up.

There would always be other ways to avoid it; it didn't have to be by staying away from Shi Nan.

Besides, if she did stay away from Shi Nan and didn't warn her, and if Shi Nan... became the one who died in that accident, she might have a new regret, a new unwillingness to accept it.

That would be the fact that she clearly knew this would happen one day in the future, but she didn't warn Shi Nan.

Because of her own selfishness, her own fear, she would have let Shi Nan encounter this event unknowingly. Compared to her, who would be prepared, the possibility of an unprepared Shi Nan getting into an accident was much greater.

So, she could think of other ways.

They could just never go to that place, or they could have that robber and murderer arrested in advance.

In any case, the Fu Zhao in the book died only after leaving the island. As long as she didn't leave the island, as long as she was prepared to face all of this, she and Shi Nan would definitely be fine.

They could both escape that ending.

Fu Zhao thought optimistically.

"That's easy to say..." Shi Nan said softly. Her gaze trembled as she looked at her, and she remained silent for a long time before speaking again. Her voice, mixed with the patter of the rain, sounded somewhat faint.

"It's naturally for the best if we don't have to get wet, but sometimes other methods don't work." She paused for a few seconds, a hazy regret coloring her tone. "For example, the car coming to pick us up is late or can't make it for some other reason; or we switch to a bigger umbrella, but the rain just gets heavier and slants in..."

They reached a crosswalk just as the red light turned on.

The 90-second countdown began.

Fu Zhao retracted the left foot she had just put forward. Her canvas shoes were quite soaked, a damp and uncomfortable feeling. Her gaze couldn't help but linger for a few seconds on the sneakers Shi Nan was wearing. They were perfectly clean, a much better situation than her own.

Shi Nan's walking habits were much better than hers; at least she didn't splash water everywhere like Fu Zhao did.

Fu Zhao found the thought amusing. The umbrella in her hand quietly tilted a little more toward Shi Nan. She spoke up right after Shi Nan finished, "If the car can't make it, I have other cars. If the rain slants in, I can get an umbrella that covers our entire bodies. None of the things you mentioned are unsolvable problems. Besides..."

She couldn't help but smile at the words she was about to say, but she held it back. Looking over at Shi Nan, her eyes curved into crescents. "I'm still the Little Island Master of Nanke Island. Solving these things is a piece of cake."

After saying that, Fu Zhao herself felt a bit dazed. This seemed to be the first time she had used her "Little Island Master" identity to emphasize something.

Although at the moment, she didn't know why she and Shi Nan had started discussing whether or not to use an umbrella or get wet, and why she had to bring her status as Little Island Master into it.

Besides, even if they had to get wet, it was much better for one person to get soaked than for both of them to.

What's more, she had a way to ensure neither of them would get wet.

Shi Nan didn't say anything else, nor did she stubbornly push the umbrella back toward Fu Zhao. She just lowered her head, her eyelashes drooping, as if she intended to go along with Fu Zhao's wishes, or perhaps she was just too lazy to argue about it anymore.

The 90-second red light counted down to zero, and the green light came on.

Fu Zhao took a step to cross the street, but in the next second, Shi Nan tugged on the corner of her shirt. She pulled her leg back and stopped beside Shi Nan, the umbrella swaying back with her and tilting toward Shi Nan.

"What's wrong?"

She glanced at the pedestrians coming and going across the street, and at the slanting lines of rain drifting in the air, her gaze finally settling on Shi Nan, who was pressing her lips together.

"Fu Zhao, isn't there something you should be telling me?" Shi Nan used a declarative sentence, her expression utterly certain, as if she were waiting for her to say something.

Fu Zhao froze, staring into Shi Nan's frank, direct eyes. She blinked blankly, not understanding what Shi Nan wanted her to say.

But Shi Nan just stared at her without blinking, her gaze seemingly fixed on her face, her eyes burning.

Fu Zhao took a deep breath, a hint of confusion in her eyes, and spoke tentatively, "Oh, right..."

She remembered something, but saying it out loud felt a little awkward. Her cheeks began to heat up, and her gaze started to waver, looking at the rain, the leaves, the flowers-anywhere but at Shi Nan.

"Has your... heat passed?"

As soon as she said it, as if her tongue had been scalded, she quickly added, "What I mean is, Doctor Liu said it might come early, so I was worried about you... no, I was worried the performance might not go smoothly."

"No," Shi Nan answered crisply, crossing her arms. She glanced at the tips of Fu Zhao's ears, which were slowly turning red again, and smiled, raising an eyebrow thoughtfully. "But don't worry, I know my limits. It won't affect the closing ceremony performance."

"That's good."

Fu Zhao quietly breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, her expression unchanged. "Then let's go."

But she still didn't take a step before she was grabbed again. This time, however, it was her wrist that was suddenly seized.

A cool palm pressed against her pulse point. The touch was familiar; after all, it had been held every night, so the texture of the skin and the size and shape were quite familiar.

"What I mean is..."

Shi Nan gently felt the beating of Fu Zhao's pulse, lingeringly committing its frequency and rhythm to memory once more. Her slender eyelashes drooped as she let out a long breath. "From now on, you don't have to stay with me anymore."

Fu Zhao was stunned for a moment, then she understood. She blinked, a strange sense of loss welling up in her heart for some reason. She blurted out subconsciously, "Oh, oh, I see. If you're worried-"

"It's not that."

Shi Nan shook her head gently, suppressing the discomfort in her heart as she said some words she didn't mean. "It's not just that I'm worried you won't sleep well because of this. More importantly, I can't have you stay with me forever."

"The rain that's meant for me, it's better if I get wet by myself."

"I can't let you keep getting wet from my side of the rain too."

After using this metaphor, Shi Nan directly took Fu Zhao's wrist and moved it toward Fu Zhao's side. Her thumb gently caressed it a few times before she released her hand and tucked it into her pocket, her fingers still curled into the empty shape of holding a wrist.

The feeling of grasping air was, after all, no match for a real wrist with a steady pulse.

And most importantly, the steady pulse transmitted from her palm.

Shi Nan sighed silently in her heart, but her face showed nothing. She just finished her sentence calmly, looked at the green light that had reappeared across the street, and started walking.

Fu Zhao didn't say anything, just followed silently.

They didn't discuss the topic again for the rest of the way, only talking about the band's performance-whether the costumes fit, and which parts of the rhythm needed adjustment.

Like two business partners handling official matters.

Suddenly, neither of them had any interest in talking about anything else.

Without the relationship of 'sleeping together', they instantly seemed much more distant.

Frankly, Shi Nan wasn't used to it.

But she couldn't say anything, because she was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she would just say something about wanting Fu Zhao to sleep with her. That wouldn't be good, especially since the whole "getting wet in the rain" argument had come from her.

It wasn't until Fu Zhao, holding the umbrella, walked her home.

Shi Nan glanced at Fu Zhao's still-damp shoulder, her completely soaked canvas shoes, and the large portion of her jeans splattered with water. "Why don't you... come in and change."

"I have some clothes here..."

"No, it's fine." Fu Zhao refused in a small voice, then smiled at her, as if they had returned to their previous polite and distant relationship. All that was missing was for her to call out "Miss Shi" in standard Mandarin.

"I still have to go find Kong Weiyan. You should go inside."

"You're wet too, go change first."

After saying these two sentences, Fu Zhao left. She didn't even remind her to sleep well that night, acting as if she never cared whether Shi Nan would sleep well without her.

Although Shi Nan knew Fu Zhao wasn't that kind of person.

After all, how could someone who had slept by her side for so many days just because she had nightmares not care about whether she slept well?

But what if...

What if she had sounded too calm just now, so much so that Fu Zhao believed she could sleep well without her, and so Fu Zhao readily agreed to her request.

That's why Fu Zhao left without looking back.

That's why Fu Zhao didn't worry about her and went straight to find Kong Weiyan.

That's why Fu Zhao didn't remind her of anything.

How could Fu Zhao be so heartless?

After taking a shower, Shi Nan lay down on her bed, that thought still lingering in her mind.

The small bed Fu Zhao had used hadn't been moved yet, and a comforter was still neatly folded on top of it.

Lying on her side on her own large bed, she couldn't help but reach out her hand. It seemed as if a layer of residual warmth still remained, along with the faint tea fragrance that enveloped her, fragrant and rich.

The posture of her outstretched hand, the shape of her grasp, was just right to fit around a slender wrist.

The room was very quiet, the sounds faint. It was missing the sound of a pulse, gently beating at 75 times per minute.

Shi Nan sighed softly and forced herself to close her eyes, to stop having such messy thoughts. She had Xiao An find a few simulated pulse sounds at a frequency of 75 beats per minute and play them.

None of them sounded good.

They were all annoying to listen to.

In the end, she simply turned them off again.

It wasn't until late at night that she groggily fell asleep.

During the days when Fu Zhao wasn't there, she almost always went through this process of falling asleep, only to be woken up by a nightmare.

During the days when Fu Zhao slept with her, the number of nightmares she had had indeed decreased.

And so, on the first day Fu Zhao left her.

She had a nightmare again without any warning. Vast amounts of blood, a face drained of color, a white shirt stained red, a pulse slowly losing its vitality.

She snapped her eyes open, her back once again covered in a cold sweat.

No matter what temperature the air conditioner was set to, she always woke up in a cold sweat.

And at these times, the room would always feel sweltering, making it almost impossible to stay inside for another second.

She knew the chances of seeing Fu Zhao outside the courtyard wall were slim. It was so late, Fu Zhao should be sleeping soundly today. There were no streetlights for her to fix, no alarms to continue installing.

Of the 13 times she had been woken by nightmares and gone outside to look at the moon and stars...

There were only 3 nights with both a moon and stars, and only 1 night with a moon, stars, and Fu Zhao.

But on the 14th time, not only did she see the bright, crescent moon and the brilliant, dense stars, but she also felt a cool, refreshing breeze.

She saw a person in a matching set of black striped silk pajamas, saw Fu Zhao's long hair casually tied up.

Most importantly, that person was Fu Zhao.

Her white socks were clean, and she wore a pair of black slippers, taking two steps forward and then two steps back, as if hesitating about what to do.

First, Fu Zhao didn't have a habit of sleepwalking.

Second, it was eleven at night. Fu Zhao couldn't possibly have just strolled over here.

Staring at Fu Zhao pacing in front of her house, Shi Nan mentally ruled out two impossible answers, leaving only one final option-Fu Zhao had come over because she was worried about her.

At this thought, Shi Nan felt as if her heart had been struck by something soft. A complex mix of emotions-being touched, joyful, delighted, and pained-surged over her like a tidal wave.

She watched for a while, and her eyes began to feel hot.

At night, she became much more sentimental.

She lowered her eyes and tossed a small stone near Fu Zhao's feet. The person who had been deep in thought immediately stopped and began to look around, her gaze sweeping back and forth, but she didn't look up at her.

Idiot.

Shi Nan tossed another stone. This time, Fu Zhao finally noticed the source of the stones and looked up to see her. Her beautiful amber eyes lit up in the night, brighter than the stars in the sky and the hanging moon.

Fu Zhao opened her mouth and mouthed, "Why are you awake? Did you have a nightmare?"

It was too quiet at night; they couldn't shout.

As she spoke, Fu Zhao's brow furrowed.

Fu Zhao's frown made her look very serious. A person who was usually gentle and bright looked particularly fierce with a blank expression.

But for some reason, Shi Nan found Fu Zhao's expression at this very moment to be exceptionally pleasing to the eye.

She waved her hand and mouthed back, "I'm fine, go back to sleep!"

Fu Zhao didn't seem to understand what she was saying. Confusion colored her eyes, and then, as if remembering something, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and pointed at it with bright eyes.

Shi Nan nodded.

Fu Zhao's call came through.

Fu Zhao's voice, tinged with a bit of static and the rustling of the surrounding wind, came through. "...I was just passing by to take out the trash."

Only Fu Zhao could come up with such a clumsy excuse.

But Shi Nan still played along, her voice laced with a smile. "Mm, I know. I know you didn't deliberately set an eleven o'clock alarm to come check on me. And I know you have no idea that I wake up from nightmares around this time every time."

How could she not know?

The alarm on Fu Zhao's phone, Fu Zhao always being right beside her after she woke up.

She knew all along.

This gave her a sudden impulse. It also made her realize that in the many moments she woke from a nightmare and met those beautiful amber eyes, her frantic heartbeat would skip a beat.

She must be... moved by this Fu Zhao.

It seemed she had reached a conclusion.

"..."

The voice from the receiver fell silent, leaving only Fu Zhao's quiet breathing.

After a long while, the person on the other end spoke, her voice very soft. "You should go back to sleep. You probably won't have any more nightmares."

Strangely enough, Shi Nan, who was plagued by nightmares, would only have one per night, after which she would sleep soundly. This was also why Fu Zhao would always wait for Shi Nan to fall back asleep after a nightmare before leaving.

"Mm, I know."

Shi Nan replied, but she didn't move, her eyes fixed on Fu Zhao standing on the road below. The moonlight traced the elegant, smooth lines of her face, and her exquisite, beautiful features seemed to be covered by a hazy, moonlit filter.

Very beautiful.

With that thought, Shi Nan was unwilling to pull her gaze away.

It wasn't until Fu Zhao, standing below, paused for a moment and then said softly, "I'm going back."

Then Fu Zhao turned around.

Shi Nan was still standing there, watching Fu Zhao's back, and replied softly, "Okay."

But she didn't hang up the phone, nor did she turn away.

She just wanted to hear Fu Zhao's voice again, to see Fu Zhao's straight back, to confirm whether the joy welling up in her heart and her accelerating heartbeat were because of Fu Zhao.

Was it, or wasn't it?

Soon, Shi Nan received an unmistakably clear answer.

She had thought she would watch Fu Zhao's back disappear completely from sight, just like the Fu Zhao who had always watched her back in the past.

But Fu Zhao only took a few steps before stopping.

The sound of the wind in her ear also lessened considerably.

But faintly, a familiar pulsing sound came from the earpiece pressed against her ear.

She saw Fu Zhao, standing far away, had already taken her phone down and pressed it against her wrist.

After a moment, the sound of the pulse grew louder. Although it wasn't as clear as feeling it directly in her hand, and was even mixed with the sound of the wind, it was still faint.

But it was still steady, still at a frequency of 75 beats per minute.

Then, Fu Zhao's voice, lightened by the wind, came through the receiver, accompanied by the soft beat of the pulse in her ear.

"I've put a sound amplifier on my hand, but it's probably still not clear enough."

"At least it's real-time. You can make do with it for tonight. If it's still not working, you can call me anytime."

"Today is an exception. After today, there will be a new way to solve this, a way for you to feel secure and for me to sleep well too."

"I told you we don't have to get wet, Shi Nan."

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