TIMO - Chapter 26
Chapter 26
She couldn’t help but phrase it as a question.
And Shi Nan, looking at her with a slight shimmer in her eyes, gave the answer she needed-the same answer she had given last night while lying on her back.
Fu Zhao sat back down in the same chair she had occupied that morning, looking at Shi Nan lying in bed from the same angle.
A section of her left wrist was once again clasped in Shi Nan’s hand.
The same position, the same person.
Warm fingertips pressed tightly against the very center of her wrist. If she slowed her breathing, she could feel her pulse beating against that soft palm.
It seemed Shi Nan really liked holding people’s wrists; once she grabbed on, she wouldn’t let go.
Only the dim, faint bedside lamp was left on, filling the entire room with its dusky light. Lying on the bed was a Sleeping Beauty, quietly looking at her.
No, that metaphor wasn’t quite right.
Because no Sleeping Beauty slept with her eyes open.
A face that could rival that of “Sleeping Beauty,” still lacking its usual color from her recent recovery, possessed a sickly white pallor. Her tea-brown pupils shone with a bright light, and her long, slender eyelashes drooped, trembling as she looked up, causing gentle ripples to float in her eyes.
She was curled up in the wide quilt, her thin, pale wrist extending from the cuff, making her seem even more petite. Perhaps it was a trick of the dim light, but Shi Nan now had the air of a heart-wrenching “ailing beauty.”
Only the two of them were in the room.
How could it be just the two of them?
The thought popped into her head and refused to go away.
“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping? Why aren’t your eyes closed?” Fu Zhao felt a little uncomfortable under Shi Nan’s gaze and couldn’t help but speak. “Or is it that you can’t sleep with me here?”
“How could that be?” Shi Nan shook her head gently, the ripples in her eyes stirring softly. Her voice was much lighter, her tone gentle. “I can’t sleep when you’re not here.”
“Shi Nan…”
Fu Zhao called her name softly, then leaned back against the chair as if deflated. Feeling the slight warmth and soft touch on her wrist, she spoke quietly, “Do you know about the suspension bridge effect?”
As she finished speaking, the grip on her hand tightened. Shi Nan didn’t say anything, but her fingertips began to gently stroke her wrist, bringing a tingling, ticklish sensation.
Fu Zhao stared at Shi Nan’s movements, feeling a little awkward, but thankfully Shi Nan only stroked her a few times before stopping, not giving her a chance to object.
“The suspension bridge effect refers to when a person’s heart beats faster while crossing a precarious suspension bridge. If, at that moment, she meets another person, she is very likely to misinterpret the accelerated heartbeat caused by the dangerous environment as being attracted to that person, and therefore… therefore develop romantic feelings for them.”
The words “romantic feelings” made Fu Zhao’s mouth dry. She subconsciously licked her lips and promptly shut up.
She had said enough.
Someone as smart as Shi Nan would know what she meant.
But Shi Nan seemed determined not to let her stop there.
“Hm?” Shi Nan raised an eyebrow. “Continue.”
Fu Zhao picked up the water glass beside her and took a sip. Just as she finished, she heard those words. She knew it was impossible for Shi Nan not to understand, but she could see from the faint smile in Shi Nan’s eyes that if she didn’t finish, Shi Nan would continue to play dumb.
She swallowed and decided to just state her thoughts plainly. “The suspension bridge effect can also occur in real-life situations, like a ‘hero saving a damsel in distress.’ A dangerous or stimulating situation might cause you to have some… cognitive bias, towards yourself or towards me.”
She directly included both of them, using the term “cognitive bias” to summarize Shi Nan’s currently unusual behavior.
“I understand…” Shi Nan was still looking at her quietly. After a moment, she spoke softly, as if nonchalantly, “You think my current actions towards you are because I’m attracted to you.”
If Fu Zhao’s words took eight hundred twists and turns, then every word Shi Nan said could probably unravel those twists and bluntly dissect the meaning of each of her sentences.
And after that, Shi Nan would deliberately seize upon the key points Fu Zhao had intentionally or unintentionally ignored.
This discrepancy gave Fu Zhao a major headache.
She had never been good at being direct.
But she couldn’t help but admit defeat when faced with Shi Nan’s clear, ink-black eyes.
“…That’s not what I meant.” Fu Zhao took a deep breath, trying to calm the panic that had risen after hearing Shi Nan’s words.
“But your pulse tells me that’s exactly what you meant.” Shi Nan pursed her lips and tightened her grip on Fu Zhao’s wrist, gesturing to how fast her pulse was currently beating.
Fu Zhao subconsciously tried to pull her hand back, but ultimately failed to free it. She lowered her gaze, staring at her wrist which was already turning red from being held so tightly, and after a moment of silence, she replied, “Then let’s just say that’s what I meant. I’m just reminding you that if you develop this kind of cognitive bias, you should correct it in time.”
“What if I don’t correct it?”
Shi Nan said this suddenly, her tone light, as if stating a fact.
Fu Zhao froze, rendered speechless by Shi Nan’s question.
Shi Nan was lying on her back in bed. The distance between them wasn’t too close; it could even be considered the distance of friends looking at each other from afar. But what was different was that Shi Nan’s palm was pressed tightly against the center of her wrist.
She could even feel the ticklish sensation of fingertips brushing over her wrist, a feeling that rushed to her heart with earth-shattering force, making her temples throb with pain.
The room was quiet for a moment before a voice finally broke the silence.
“Just kidding.”
Shi Nan spoke again, her tone nonchalant as she gently closed her eyes. “How could that be? Don’t worry, I’m not experiencing the suspension bridge effect right now.”
That one light sentence promptly stopped the dull ache in her temples.
Fu Zhao quietly breathed a sigh of relief, yet she felt she hadn’t completely let go. Instead, it felt like she was holding her breath, caught in limbo.
She looked at Shi Nan, who had closed her eyes and clearly had no intention of continuing the conversation. Her mouth opened and closed without a single word coming out. In the end, she suppressed the question that had been lingering in her mind for a long time.
She didn’t ask it, but Shi Nan, as if hearing the question she had silently asked in her heart, trembled her eyelashes. Her tea-brown eyes opened again, and her voice was soft as she explained,
“It’s not that I have to hold someone’s wrist to fall asleep. I just want to hold yours.”
“Do you know why?” Shi Nan paused after saying this, seeming to wait for Fu Zhao to respond.
Fu Zhao shook her head, her mind a bit muddled by Shi Nan’s “I just want to hold your wrist.” She asked haltingly, “Why?”
Her question was a bit foolish, like she was feeding Shi Nan a line.
The corners of Shi Nan’s lips curved up slightly, her smile creating faint ripples in the dim light. “Because this way… I can feel your lively pulse. I can feel the real, living you, right before my eyes.”
“Having you by my side, so full of life, is the only thing that can make me feel safe.”
After saying this, Shi Nan gently closed her eyes again.
“If I asked you to get in bed and sleep with me, you’d probably jump up and refuse righteously, wouldn’t you?”
Fu Zhao pressed her lips together and said nothing.
Shi Nan opened her eyes and yawned. The mist in her eyes welled up before being hidden by her slender, thick lashes. Her voice grew softer, tinged with drowsiness.
“So you can just go home in ten minutes.”
“Or just come up and sleep. Don’t just sit by the bed all night.”
“Otherwise, I’ll feel bad.” Her lowered lashes trembled, and the next few words came out even softer.
“And my heart will ache for you.”
Shi Nan closed her eyes after speaking and said no more.
Fu Zhao sat there, unsure how to react. Although Shi Nan had added many adjectives to her sentence, the phrase “is the only thing that can make me feel safe” kept echoing in her mind, impossible to dismiss.
Even though she knew clearly that Shi Nan’s words, coming after her denial of the suspension bridge effect, had no other meaning.
But she couldn’t help but constantly speculate what kind of emotion, what kind of reason, was behind Shi Nan’s words.
Just as she didn’t know what Shi Nan meant by “my heart will ache for you.”
Heartache… was that the source of all her current feelings for Shi Nan?
She sat in the chair, staring at Shi Nan lying quietly in bed, listening to her breathing gradually even out and soften, but she still couldn’t figure out the answer to this question.
Perhaps… Shi Nan just really liked the rhythm of her pulse.
She had heard that Kong Weiyan had a device that could record the sound of a person’s pulse in real-time, with perfect clarity.
As if you were right there.
Another nightmare.
A place and a scene that had been repeated countless times in her dreams. It must be the planet she was from, not Nanke Island.
It was a scene she could never forget, one that trapped her at this point in time, unable to escape. It was the most unforgettable memory in her mind.
The roadside was brightly lit, illuminated by headlights and streetlights until it was almost as bright as day.
Fu Zhao stood on the opposite side of the road, under a traffic light. A tall, long-legged person, dressed in a simple white shirt and black trousers, with captivating lines. Her smooth, ink-black hair was loosely tied in a ponytail.
Cars and people came and went, lights and shadows swayed.
Soon, the light turned green.
Fu Zhao smiled and walked towards her, looking straight at her, as if her eyes and her heart held only her.
Shi Nan was in a daze, anxiously shouting for Fu Zhao to watch the road.
She wanted to walk towards Fu Zhao too, but her legs wouldn’t move. She could only stand rooted to the spot.
Fortunately, Fu Zhao heard her words, obediently slowed down, and carefully followed the crowd, watching the passing cars. Step by step, with a steady rhythm and light footsteps, she came to her side.
The fresh, rich scent of tea wafted over, reaching her nose. It was Fu Zhao’s scent.
It seemed this was the only time she had ever smelled Fu Zhao’s scent.
But it also seemed a little different. Fu Zhao looked at her cautiously, her gaze darting over and then pulling back, a bit like how the old Fu Zhao used to look at her.
Shi Nan’s mind was in a bit of a trance; she couldn’t quite tell which time this was.
But when Fu Zhao reached her side and led her forward, she seemed to be able to move again.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to hold an exhibition? I’ve rented a venue for you. The exhibition date is on your birthday. How about it?”
Fu Zhao spoke slowly, her tone unhurried, standing by her side while maintaining a slight distance.
“My birthday… when is it?” she asked.
Fu Zhao laughed, the light in her amber eyes brightening, as if laughing at her for being silly, for having a bad memory. But she didn’t say it out loud, only patiently replying, “Christmas Day.”
“But… it’s only just the beginning of summer. Isn’t that still a long time away?”
She suddenly grabbed Fu Zhao’s wrist. Under Fu Zhao’s surprised gaze, she felt the familiar rhythm of the pulse in her palm. The pulse was real, but because of the current scene, it became hazy.
She knew that at the corner up ahead, a robber and murderer would rush out. To this day, she still didn’t understand why this person had targeted them.
And Fu Zhao would take the knife for her, would bleed all over the ground, would die in front of her.
Even though she was now holding Fu Zhao’s wrist firmly in her hand, she couldn’t change the fact that the sound of Fu Zhao’s pulse would slowly fade away in her palm.
At the thought of this, her eyes began to burn and moisten.
Tears couldn’t help but slip out and run down her face.
“Yes, even though it’s only early summer, I was thinking it might take some time to prepare, so winter would be more suitable.”
“Why winter?”
Fu Zhao paused, then smiled at her. “Because you like winter. Your birthday is in winter. This is your exhibition.”
Fu Zhao was still smiling, her amber pupils seeming to be soaked in the cool moonlight, yet also burning under the scorching sun, bright and brilliant.
Until they reached the corner.
Someone rushed out. Shi Nan couldn’t move a single step. She could only watch as Fu Zhao pulled her into her arms, watch as Fu Zhao was stabbed, then grabbed the attacker only to be stabbed several more times, until men in black rushed out and caught the assailant.
She watched as Fu Zhao coughed up mouthful after mouthful of blood, a pool of it forming beneath her.
She screamed, why didn’t those men in black come out sooner? Why, when she clearly knew what would happen, could she still not change this fact?
She cried hysterically, fumbling to cover the wounds on Fu Zhao’s body.
But there were too many wounds, and too much blood. She couldn’t stop it.
Until the bright red blood stained Fu Zhao’s white shirt.
Until Fu Zhao opened her mouth countless times, and each time a torrent of blood gushed out.
Until Fu Zhao closed her eyes without being able to say a final word.
Until the wrist she held, the pulse she pressed against, began to slow.
Thump… thump… beating one by one.
Then it grew faint, until it finally disappeared completely.
The wrist in her palm no longer had any vibrant life.
Until the person in her arms grew completely cold, completely breathless.
Shi Nan’s eyes flew open. Her body and forehead were covered in cold sweat.
Her breathing was rapid, her mouth dry.
Her senses began to return.
Sitting before her was a delicate and pretty figure, just about to get up from the chair. The light in her eyes brightened, as if surprised that she had woken up at this moment.
Dazed, she suddenly realized that she had been reborn. She still had a long time to prevent this from happening. She had already asked her mother to help find that robber and murderer.
Although there was no news yet.
But there were still three years.
That was enough. She would definitely eliminate all dangerous factors before that point in time arrived.
All she had to do was make sure Fu Zhao stayed safe and sound on Nanke Island before then.
Once Shi Nan figured this out, her tense body relaxed.
She looked at the person in front of her. Suddenly, an impulse rose in her heart, but she immediately suppressed it.
The soft warmth in her hand slowly returned to her awareness, and a heat began to rise in her eyes. She couldn’t help but squeeze the wrist in her palm a little harder.
“Thump-thump-”
The pulse beat steadily and powerfully, one beat after another, where her fingertips touched.
She counted silently, meeting Fu Zhao’s slightly trembling gaze. When the number in her heart was reached, she quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
A frequency of 75 beats per minute, with a steady interval. She could feel the slight throb of the expanding blood vessel.
This was the frequency and rhythm of Fu Zhao’s pulse.
It was the entire source of her sense of security at this very moment.
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