Shrine - Chapter 69
Chapter 69
Before?
"You…" Ruan Ruan thought for a moment. "You told her you were going to confess to me?"
"Mhm."
"Did you ever think that I might not want to be your girlfriend?"
Shi Ran gazed at her, then looked down, sizing herself up from top to bottom. She tilted her head, raised an eyebrow, and blinked.
It was similar to that time at the concert, yet different. The difference was that the corners of her mouth were tucked in slightly, showing a tiny, tiny bit of shyness.
Ruan Ruan covered her face and laughed, her smiling eyes curving into beautiful crescents. Then, she asked in a low voice from behind the heel of her palm, "Why yesterday? That scene I was filming with Zhong Yi, you… were you?"
Shi Ran thought for a moment, then shook her head. "As an investor, I should respect the actors' efforts to increase viewership for the series, and even more so, I should respect the production team's efforts to stay true to the original work. I just suddenly realized that I needed a space."
"A space?"
"To place my private feelings," Shi Ran said, her tone still light. "Since they've emerged, I want to respect my own selfish desires as well. I can't place them in my work, but I can place them within our intimate relationship."
Could Ruan Ruan understand it put that way?
Shi Ran's emotions were telling her that she needed a healthy relationship to contain all of this.
"So I don't think I'm overturning our previous conversation about 'prioritizing our careers'," Shi Ran said patiently.
Her doing this wasn't just to indulge her own feelings; in a way, it was also to protect her career. A destructive mentality had already formed, so it needed to be put in the right place. If Shi Ran had the right to say those words from the set yesterday to Ruan Ruan behind closed doors, then she wouldn't have suppressed it to the point of making things difficult for Xin Chen.
They should become a couple, to mutually absorb their overflowing affection, rather than letting it scorch other places.
Ruan Ruan propped her chin on her hand, watching her from the side. She was relieved. Shi Ran hadn't acted on a whim, but had truly weighed the pros and cons.
"Your choice of words…" She bit the corner of her lip, curling her index finger to press against her cheekbone.
"I prepared in advance."
"Huh?"
"Originally, I was going to use it to persuade you yesterday." Shi Ran's eyes added the second half of the sentence—it wasn't needed.
Ruan Ruan shifted the heel of her palm to hide her smile, asking Shi Ran in a breathy voice, "What's for dinner?"
"Anything's fine," Shi Ran replied, also in a breathy voice.
"You're copying me," Ruan Ruan said, tilting her head.
"Mhm." Shi Ran also tilted her head to look at her. The more she looked, the more she felt that Ruan Ruan was perfectly sculpted to her aesthetic tastes. Her lips were red, her teeth white, like a dairy product. The small mole beneath her eye was a crushed sesame seed; you just knew she would smell fragrant.
She had never truly possessed someone before. The feeling was a bit strange, like a heavy weight had dropped into her heart, solid and sinking. When it swayed occasionally, there was a faint, throbbing ache. It turned out that the feeling from filming before hadn't been so tangible. Liking someone, it turned out, wasn't about floating up to the sky, but about making you feel the pull of gravity.
They looked at each other in silence. Ruan Ruan said, "I saw a term online before, called 'physiological attraction.' I think that's what I have with you."
"I always want to hold your hand, hug you, kiss you," she said, tugging on Shi Ran's ring finger. "Do you feel that way?"
"I do."
Ruan Ruan smiled with satisfaction. After a moment, she flopped onto the table and said to Shi Ran, "From now on, I'll be looking for you all the time. I'll be a little more annoying than before, and a little more controlling. Is that okay?"
"It is."
"Shi Ran."
"Hm?"
"Shi Ran," Ruan Ruan leaned over and hugged her, resting her head on her shoulder. "I'm a little…"
She didn't know how to say it. After Shi Ran's call with Xin Chen, she had felt a slight unease, like fearing a plague after a flood has receded. Her relationship with Shi Ran had weathered a storm and been confirmed to have survived, but now she worried about any new disturbance, worried about letting her guard down.
What lay ahead? It seemed like a beautiful landscape, but it was shrouded in mist.
This version of Ruan Ruan felt foreign even to herself, but she quickly regrouped. A Little Bread who knew how to use her own flavor enhancers wouldn't easily wallow in self-pity.
A little later, they ate some fruit, then sat side-by-side, each focused on their own work. After finishing a section of notes, Ruan Ruan said to Shi Ran, "This afternoon, Xin Chen said she wants to split the show into seasons and add more content. Even though she said we don't need to add more investment, I think she must be under a lot of pressure with the budget."
Shi Ran listened quietly as Ruan Ruan continued, "Staying at Jingyue International is really expensive. I want to rent a place near the set. I mentioned it to you before, that complex in Chunfeng Bay. The environment is nice, and more importantly, the privacy is excellent. A lot of actors live there, so no one says anything even if you're photographed coming and going. I want to move there to save the production some money. What do you think?"
Besides, there was going to be a break in filming for a while. She couldn't just keep a hotel room booked indefinitely.
"Okay," Shi Ran nodded.
"Thank you, Boss," Ruan Ruan smiled.
"You're saving me money, and you're thanking me?" Shi Ran looked down at her.
"Then you thank me," Ruan Ruan said in a low voice, scooping up Shi Ran's fingers and patting her palm.
"Thank you, Boss," Shi Ran copied her again.
"I'm not your boss."
"Then what are you?" Shi Ran's fingers twitched. "Have you decided?"
Whether or not to call her Wife.
"No, I still need a little time." Ruan Ruan pulled her hand back and looked at her script.
Shi Ran sighed languidly and also went back to memorizing the Flying Pages for tomorrow.
A little after eight, Ruan Ruan suddenly received a message from her team. It was from An Lu. Since she had started filming, An Lu rarely messaged her. Ruan Ruan thought it was about the revised shooting schedule. A long voice message converted to text, which gradually appeared on the screen. Ruan Ruan froze.
An Lu: There's some negative news online. Do you remember the Shucheng arts sharing session hosted by the actors' union before the new year? There was a group interview afterward. You were talking about classic works in film and television history, and when Hitchcock came up, you said 'Hikequke.' It's been dug up.
Dug up…
Ruan Ruan's ears suddenly turned red. She awkwardly covered her teeth with her upper lip and picked up her phone to search for her own name. A few marketing accounts had popped up out of nowhere, compiling a list of "illiterate" actors, and she was on it. The video material was originally from a relatively internal industry event, and this detail hadn't been noticed before. Now, singled out, slowed down, and replayed, it looked utterly ridiculous.
Netizen 1: She doesn't even know Hitchcock? That's a bit much.
Netizen 2: The master of film, the master of suspense, even I know who he is…
Netizen 3: She acts every day, doesn't she even know what a Hitchcock zoom is?
Netizen 4: I guess there really aren't any standards for being an actor, huh.
…
Ruan Ruan had been heaped with praise before, which had already attracted envy and backlash. The current trend was undoubtedly fueled by someone with money; otherwise, the wave of mass ridicule wouldn't have been so coordinated.
Someone posted her resume and education in the comments, saying her school couldn't even be found online anymore.
Someone else asked, with a background like that, how did Dianxing come to promote her?
Ruan Ruan let out a soft breath, exited the app, and replied to An Lu on WeChat: "What do I need to do?"
An Lu: Either ignore it, or post an apology on Weibo. That would be the more sincere approach.
Having worked with An Lu for so long, Ruan Ruan understood that when she presented options as A and B, with B as the alternative, it meant she leaned toward the latter.
But Ruan Ruan didn't want to post on Weibo. She truly hadn't received a good education, especially in English. She barely knew any, wasn't attuned to it, and that's why she couldn't remember the order of the transliterated syllables. People used to laugh at her when she spoke English. When she submitted her resume, people doubted she had even read the four great classical novels. During the talent show, Zhang Nuoran had assumed the only poem she could recite was "Quiet Night Thought"…
She didn't want to admit to everyone that she was uncultured. She wanted to study, too. Who wouldn't want a good education if they had the chance? But being uncultured wasn't just about bad grades; there were many other factors behind it. This was a part of herself she had a hard time accepting, a part she found difficult to expose to others.
"Let's just let it pass," Ruan Ruan said after some thought.
An Lu sent back an "OK" emoji.
Ruan Ruan put her phone down, ready to refocus on memorizing her lines. Beside her, Shi Ran's lips moved slightly. Before she could say anything, her phone screen lit up. Shi Ran glanced at the caller ID, answered, and stood up to walk outside, seemingly afraid of disturbing Ruan Ruan.
Ruan Ruan bit her lower lip, slipped on her slippers, got out of bed, and leaned against the bedroom door to listen.
She heard Shi Ran say, "She doesn't want to?"
Then there was a period of silence. It was probably someone from the team analyzing the situation for Shi Ran, explaining that quite a few marketing accounts were involved this time, and if it wasn't handled, it could escalate.
Ruan Ruan's heart was pounding. She was terrified that after Shi Ran hung up, she would choose to come and persuade her.
After a long five minutes, Shi Ran finally lowered her head and said softly, "If she doesn't want to, then she won't post it."
Ruan Ruan pressed her palm against the wall, feeling herself calm down inch by inch. She stood there in a daze for a moment, then heard faint footsteps. She looked up and saw Shi Ran come in, her expression completely open. She knew.
Ruan Ruan glanced down at her slippers, then looked up again, puffing out her cheeks and saying listlessly, "I said I didn't want to. Why did they still have to call you?"
Little Bread was not happy. She didn't want the team to treat her as Shi Ran's appendage. Her choosing to let Shi Ran have a say was one thing; other people assuming she had no autonomy, had to rely on Shi Ran for everything, and could even have her wishes overridden, was another matter entirely.
Shi Ran smiled and took her by the wrist, leading her toward the bedroom. "You're right. I should block her."
Ruan Ruan loved that "You're right." It was like Shi Ran was coaxing her.
"I told her that from now on, you make your own decisions about your work," Shi Ran said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ruan Ruan stood in front of her, listening as she continued, "If my girlfriend needs my help for input, she'll tell me."
She wrapped an arm around Ruan Ruan's waist. Ruan Ruan pursed her lips into a smile and reached out to smooth her hair. "Aren't I your wife?"
"You said you hadn't decided yet, didn't you?"
"Oh…" Little Bread was warm and soft.
"So, have you decided?"
Little Bread shook her head.
"I'll ask you again tomorrow," Shi Ran said, blinking coolly.
Ruan Ruan's eyes curved as she smiled. She suddenly didn't want to think anymore. It would be best if Shi Ran could just keep asking her forever.
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