Shrine - Chapter 62

Chapter 62

After hanging up, Shi Ran turned her head and saw her reflection in the floor-to-ceiling window.

As an actress, she understood body language and the movement of facial muscles all too well. Even though the reflection was blurry, she knew the person in it was happy.

Clearly, before the video call, she had been in low spirits, as agitated as if possessed by a demon.

Liking Ruan Ruan wasn't just bringing her pleasure anymore. She realized for the first time that she was developing negative emotions. She was starting to feel insecure and was finding it increasingly difficult to be alone.

Just like now. She placed her phone back on the nightstand, and the room refreshed like a 3D game. The double bed, over two meters wide, was only half-occupied by her. The sheets had no extra wrinkles, and there were no wet footprints in the bathroom.

Shi Ran lay down, turning on her side to hug a pillow, gently rubbing her chin against it.

Separation, especially one with withdrawal symptoms, was like a protracted chronic illness. It was like a mild case of rhinitis—not fatal, nor did it greatly affect one's life, but every time you sniffled, it reminded you that you weren't entirely healthy. You couldn't take a smooth, refreshing breath.

For the next twenty days, Shi Ran continued filming as usual, her progress unaffected. But during the breaks between scenes, she found herself thinking of Ruan Ruan more and more frequently. She would subconsciously look towards where the lighting and sound technicians stood; Ruan Ruan loved to observe from there, and when she was filming with Zhong Yi, she also liked to go over the script there.

And when Xiao Lin draped a down jacket over her, she would first take her phone and open WeChat, not knowing what she was hoping for. Ruan Ruan rarely messaged her during the day.

In her relationship with Ruan Ruan, Shi Ran had always been the one in control. She didn't like this current state of hers. To put it bluntly, it was as if she were waiting for someone's visit, or someone's pity.

What was even harder to dwell on was whether Ruan Ruan had the same expectations.

Once the seed of doubt was planted in her heart, the person caught in it would subtly search for answers. Shi Ran gradually developed a habit of searching for Ruan Ruan, to see what she was doing on set.

She had time to eat a boxed lunch with Zhong Yi, both still in costume, sitting in their on-set chairs. Zhong Yi tilted her head to see what Ruan Ruan was eating, and Ruan Ruan said, "Hey, it's the same."

She had time to practice fight choreography with Zhong Yi and the martial arts director. Zhong Yi must have been laughing at her poor form, because she lifted her leg and gave Zhong Yi a light kick.

She had time to tell Xin Chen, "I can't get up, I really can't get up." Xin Chen had Zhong Yi pull her up, and she was pulled to her feet like a child, her hands held.

A lazy, resistant, kicking little police officer—Shi Ran had never seen that side of her.

She always seemed to be obedient, gentle, good-tempered, and good at coaxing people. Towards Shi Ran, she really was, as the internet said, like she was facing an aloof boss.

Every time Shi Ran discovered that Ruan Ruan didn't have time to contact her, she would deliberately act cold for a while, as if to test when Ruan Ruan would think of her on her own initiative.

After work, she would lie in bed reading the script. When Ruan Ruan sent a "1," she would glance at it, eat a segment of pomelo, and only then pick up her phone.

Ruan Ruan asked her, "Took you a while. Were you busy?"

Shi Ran said, "I was eating pomelo."

This statement actually had a malicious underlying logic, as if to say that Ruan Ruan wasn't that important, not as important as Shi Ran eating pomelo. Shi Ran stared intently at Ruan Ruan, wanting to see if she was disappointed, but she wasn't. She smiled good-naturedly and said, "The grapes over there are delicious. You should eat some grapes."

"It's not grape season," Shi Ran said.

"Oh," Ruan Ruan smiled, pursing her lips. "That's right."

Shi Ran moistened her lips and suddenly asked, "Did you forget it's winter here?"

Ruan Ruan was taken aback. "Huh? It's winter here too."

Shi Ran didn't explain. Ruan Ruan was filming a summer drama on a soundstage, bustling like gourds and fruits crowded together on a vine, while Shi Ran was in the sub-zero Gobi Desert. Shi Ran couldn't help but wonder if Ruan Ruan's suggestion to eat grapes was just an offhand remark, if she hadn't thought about the actual feasibility of eating grapes at all.

This minor incident made Shi Ran ponder for a while after hanging up the video call.

She tilted her head back, staring at the white wall, squeezing the base of her palm again and again. This obvious insecurity made her extremely uncomfortable.

But trying to guess someone's heart was a Pandora's box; once opened, it was endless.

Little Bread seemed to have stopped bothering to think about how to keep Shi Ran liking her. It seemed there was no longer a need. She had more important friends to cultivate; Xin Chen and Zhong Yi saw her day in and day out, and they were collaborating on a project. A smart and savvy Little Bread would, of course, know where to focus her energy. If it were Shi Ran, she would have taught her to do the same.

But... the most dreaded thing was the "but."

Anything outside of reason was called selfishness, and selfishness was often just those two words: "but."

---

"Babe, are you done with your video call?" Wu Mei poked her head out from the living room, calling Ruan Ruan to dinner.

"Yep~" Ruan Ruan came off the bed with a smile, tying up her hair and slipping on her slippers.

"You've been on the phone longer and longer after work these past few days," Wu Mei said, unwrapping a pair of chopsticks and setting them for her. "Is something up?"

Ruan Ruan pulled out a dining chair and sat down. "My mom."

She blinked, then fell silent, glancing at the food on the table. It smelled delicious. It was from Zhong Yi's nutritionist, packed to replenish their energy. She would never have dared to imagine such a good meal arrangement before, let alone in her childhood.

Nowadays, meals were all about being low-fat and low-oil, but it was different when she was a child. Back then, the most fragrant thing was a spoonful of lard in noodles. The lard was rendered by her mother from fatty pork, and the resulting cracklings would be given to her to dip in white sugar. She didn't have many snacks as a child, so pork cracklings with white sugar was a memorable delicacy.

Before her video call with Shi Ran, her mother had called again. Ever since she had gained some popularity online, the calls from home had become more frequent. Her mother asked if she was going to play the female lead, something Zhu Er's daughter from the wet market had said. Ruan Ruan said gently, "We're still filming. It'll be a long time before it airs."

But her family didn't really care when her work would air; they cared whether she could make money.

They perfunctorily told Ruan Ruan to take care of herself, then started talking about her younger brother.

"My mom said my brother's personality is getting more and more withdrawn. Now that he's in college, he doesn't dare to talk to girls he likes, and he's afraid to introduce himself." Ruan Ruan lowered her head and picked up some food.

"Why?" Wu Mei asked, chewing on some corn.

"She said Ruan Dongliang is an ugly name," Ruan Ruan said slowly.

"Pfft," Wu Mei laughed. "She's only just realized that name is terrible? Why don't I recommend my fortune teller to her? I think your brother needs a stage name more than you do."

Ruan Ruan smiled too. Her parents had paid someone to choose that name.

"My mom is worried. She's asking what if no company wants to hire him, and if he could come work for me, as an assistant or a driver or something."

"No way," Wu Mei shook her head. "I'm the assistant, and I can earn the driver's money too."

Ruan Ruan gave her a smiling look, then lowered her head and sighed again.

"The way your parents are talking doesn't sound right. Be careful they don't ask you to pay for your brother's house and wedding in the future," Wu Mei said earnestly. She'd seen plenty of families online that leeched off their daughters. "And you're at a critical point right now. You can't let your family cause trouble for you, you know?"

"I know, Mei Mei."

What Ruan Ruan didn't say was that when she heard her family say "Ruan Dongliang," she actually felt a little like laughing, but she also felt it wasn't right. When she told Wu Mei, Wu Mei laughed for her. The scrappy Little Bread had grown up. Perhaps she wasn't as "gentle" as others, or even she herself, thought.

Ruan Ruan took a few bites of food. "Don't tell any of our colleagues about my family calling me."

She was afraid it would get back to Xin Chen, afraid it would get back to Shi Ran.

She especially didn't want Shi Ran to hear.

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