Behind the Mask - Chapter 14
Chapter 14: Heart-to-Heart
The smoke from the incense burner wafted upwards, and the tea on the table had grown cold again.
Nuan Hua pushed open the door and brought in a pot of hot tea.
Bai Ning snapped out of her daze. Reaching out, she accidentally knocked over the teacup, and the steaming tea soaked the book beside her hand.
"Miss, are you burned?" Seeing this, Nuan Hua hurriedly came forward to clean up.
Bai Ning picked up a handkerchief to wipe her hands and answered faintly, "No."
"Miss, the physician said you need to rest well now that you're recovering from a serious illness. But how can you get better when you're so weighed down with worries every day?" Nuan Hua couldn't stand it anymore and offered a few words of persuasion. Bai Ning had been melancholic these past days; now, she had even stopped going to Linglong Workshop.
"I know." Bai Ning smiled, but the smile still couldn't hide the gloom between her brows.
Nuan Hua wrung the handkerchief in her hands, her eyes darting about, and said cautiously to Bai Ning, "Miss, if you want to see Miss Chu Ye, you can just send someone to fetch her. Why must you..."
Hearing her mention Chu Ye, Bai Ning looked up at her.
Nuan Hua immediately shut her mouth and said no more. But a while ago, Bai Ning had been frequenting Linglong Workshop, clearly because she wanted to see Chu Ye. Nuan Hua knew this very well.
"I'm going to write a new piece of music today. Don't let anyone disturb me." After saying this, Bai Ning stood up and walked towards the study.
"Yes." Nuan Hua lowered her head, feeling as if she had said something she shouldn't have.
Alone in the study, Bai Ning had no inspiration. Instead, everything in the room seemed to evoke memories. Whenever she composed music, Chu Ye would sit quietly beside her. Chu Ye was always stealing glances at her; in truth, Bai Ning was perfectly aware of it.
Chu Ye's painting was still on the table.
She had already put the finishing touches on this painting the day Chu Ye left for Qingzhou. She wanted to wait for Chu Ye to come back and find her, then give it to her in person.
Bai Ning's gaze fell on the painting again, and she stared at it, lost in thought—remembering that night when they held each other, speaking the most intimate words.
"Will you still come to see me?"
"Yes."
She could send someone to find Chu Ye, but if Chu Ye didn't want to see her, what would be the point?
Besides, guarding that Lady Qingliu every day, she probably wouldn't be bored, would she? She had heard that Qingliu was not only skilled at pleasing men, but women as well...
She grew more and more agitated.
Bai Ning rolled up the painting on the table and set it aside. She wouldn't think about it anymore.
"Miss..."
Bai Ning heard Nuan Hua call from outside the door. She frowned and said in a low voice, "I told you not to disturb me."
Nuan Hua wouldn't have disturbed her for just anything. She smiled and said, "Miss Chu is here."
Bai Ning's eyelashes trembled. She lifted her gaze to the doorway. She squeezed the rolled-up painting in her hand and said nothing.
Nuan Hua added, "She's waiting outside the manor. She wants to see you, Miss."
Bai Ning remained silent.
Nuan Hua waited outside, thinking Bai Ning would agree without a moment's hesitation. But after a long while, there was still no answer from inside. Worried that her mistress might have fainted again, she took it upon herself to push the door open.
"Miss?"
After a moment of thought, Bai Ning lowered her head, stroking the zither strings, and said calmly, "Tell her that I've just recovered from a serious illness and don't have the energy to teach her the zither."
"Miss..." Nuan Hua didn't understand. She had clearly been longing for the other person, so why was she unwilling to see her now that she could?
"Hurry up and go."
Nuan Hua could only comply.
Chu Ye had been waiting outside the gate for a long time, feeling anxious. She saw Nuan Hua walk over, but never expected her to say, "Miss Chu, please go back."
"She doesn't want to see me?"
Nuan Hua had no choice but to repeat what Bai Ning had instructed her to say.
"I didn't come for her to teach me the zither. I just..." Chu Ye paused. "I want to see her."
Nuan Hua couldn't go against Bai Ning's orders. "Miss is in a bad mood today. She said she doesn't want to see anyone."
Chu Ye fell silent. She must still be angry with me... What should I do?
Nuan Hua pulled Chu Ye aside and whispered to her, "Miss is sulking. I've never seen her like this. Miss, you should come back another day."
But Chu Ye was stubborn. "I want to see her today. I can wait."
"This..." Nuan Hua was truly in a difficult position.
When she returned, Nuan Hua heard the sound of a zither coming from the study. It was Bai Ning, playing a tune.
Bai Ning asked Nuan Hua, who had returned, "Has she left?"
Nuan Hua reported, "I just told Miss Chu that you aren't seeing anyone today and asked her to leave, but..."
"What?"
"She said she wants to see you today. She's still waiting and refuses to leave."
The zither music stopped abruptly. A string snapped against Bai Ning's fingertip, leaving it slightly numb.
"Miss, let Miss Chu come in?"
Bai Ning took a shallow breath, turned her head aside, and said faintly, "She'll wait a little while, and then she'll naturally leave."
Nuan Hua opened her mouth to speak but stopped. If she really leaves, you'll just go back to pining for her every day, she thought. She had never realized before that her mistress could be so contrary.
Bai Ning truly had no interest in playing the zither today. She had Nuan Hua grind ink for her and copied a few pages of scripture, hoping to quiet her mind.
But it was no use.
Unnoticed, the sky had darkened. Raindrops began to fall on the eaves, making a pattering sound.
The light rain fell for quite a while. The sky grew darker, the pattering grew louder, and the air filled with the scent of spring rain washing over the earth.
The hand Bai Ning held her brush with paused. Her thoughts were completely carried away by the sound of the rain outside.
Nuan Hua tested the waters, pretending to mutter to herself, "It's raining outside, and quite hard. I wonder if Miss Chu has gone home yet."
Bai Ning couldn't continue writing. The wind must have picked up; the banana leaves in the courtyard were rustling loudly in the wind and rain.
Nuan Hua was about to say something more.
Bai Ning set down her brush and finally spoke: "Go get an umbrella."
Nuan Hua: "I'll go right away!"
Chu Ye waited outside the manor for the entire afternoon, but still received no response.
Could it be that she never wants to see me again? She felt a pang of regret, but then told herself that wasn't it. Bai Ning was just angry. Once her anger subsided, she would acknowledge her.
The rain fell harder and harder. Chu Ye clutched the guqin to her chest as if it were a treasure. She stood under the eaves to take shelter, but the wind-blown rain still soaked the front of her robes.
When it rained, night always seemed to come faster. The candlelight in the lantern flickered in the wind, faintly illuminating a small corner.
Chu Ye continued to wait where she was, stubbornly wanting nothing more than to see her.
The sound of approaching footsteps was muffled by the rain, but Chu Ye still heard them—the anxious, hurried steps of embroidered slippers on the stone-paved path.
The heavy main gate was pushed open.
Through the veil of rain, Chu Ye saw Bai Ning walking over, holding up her skirt and an umbrella. She was dressed in simple elegance, the plainest of outfits. Yet that single glance sent her heart racing wildly. She stared foolishly at the person before her, her tightly pressed lips finally breaking into a strained smile.
Bai Ning saw the reddish lantern light flickering on her cool-toned mask. "...Come in."
"Yes!" Chu Ye smiled happily, eagerly walking to Bai Ning's side. She drew close, gazing at her face with an unconcealed and utterly greedy look.
After waiting all afternoon, she should have had her words all planned out. Yet, the moment she saw her, her mind went completely blank, and she couldn't utter a single word.
Bai Ning glanced at her a few times, said nothing, and turned to walk back.
Chu Ye followed her, staying close by her side, and as usual, took the umbrella from her hand. Their hands brushed against each other ever so lightly.
Bai Ning lowered her hand, letting Chu Ye hold the umbrella.
They walked in silence. Chu Ye gazed at Bai Ning's profile, but Bai Ning paid her no mind.
Although Jingzhou had warmed up, the cold rain still sent a chill through the body. Afraid that Bai Ning would catch a cold, Chu Ye kept tilting the umbrella towards her.
The hem of Bai Ning's skirt still got wet, splattered with specks of mud. Seeing that Bai Ning had been caught in the rain, Nuan Hua bustled about anxiously, boiling hot water and brewing ginger soup. She had just recovered from a serious illness, only to suffer like this again.
Inside the room, they faced each other in silence. Aside from their hasty parting last time, they hadn't seen each other in too long, and their feelings were complicated.
Chu Ye wanted to speak, but there were too many other people in the room.
"Miss, go take a bath quickly and change out of your wet clothes. Don't catch a cold," Nuan Hua urged her, flustered.
Chu Ye was even wetter, looking quite disheveled.
Bai Ning said to her in a low voice, "Change out of your wet clothes first."
Chu Ye nodded happily. As long as Bai Ning was willing to say even one more sentence to her, she felt joyful.
After bathing, Chu Ye changed into a set of clean clothes. Her hair, which was usually tied up, now hung long down her back. She walked to Bai Ning's room again, knocked lightly, and then pushed the door open.
The maids had lit a brazier in the room, warming the air.
Bai Ning was drinking her ginger soup. Her black hair also cascaded down like a waterfall, making her look even more gentle.
"Miss Chu, you should have a bowl of ginger soup too, to warm yourself up."
Chu Ye sat down beside Bai Ning, accepted the ginger soup from Nuan Hua, and thanked her. She sipped the soup, but her gaze kept drifting to Bai Ning. If she had been restrained in the past, her current stare was utterly brazen.
Bai Ning naturally noticed. She finished the last sip of her ginger soup, took a sip of plain tea to rinse her mouth, and then gave Nuan Hua a look.
Nuan Hua understood immediately. She gave a playful smile, exchanged glances with the other young maids, and in a short while, they had tidied up and all withdrawn.
Once everyone else had left, Chu Ye took off her mask in front of Bai Ning. Ever since that day Bai Ning had mentioned it, she always did this at the first opportunity.
The familiar, missed face came into view again. Bai Ning only glanced at it for a moment before lowering her eyes, her lashes fluttering. "Instead of properly guarding Qingliu, what are you doing here looking for me?"
Her tone was faint, as if without a ripple of emotion.
Chu Ye had never seen such a cold Bai Ning. She quickly replied, "The mission is over. I don't have to protect her anymore."
"I see." Bai Ning continued in that same faint voice, "I've heard that not only does she play the pipa well, but her guqin is also excellent. If there's anything you don't understand in the music score, you can just go ask her. There's no need to come find me."
No need to come find me...
Chu Ye grew anxious.
Bai Ning gave a light laugh. "Doesn't Lady Qingliu love beautiful women the most? If you ask her to teach you, she would certainly be willing. I imagine she would teach you better than I could."
"I only want you to teach me." Chu Ye's heart ached, her mind still full of Bai Ning's words, "There's no need to come find me."
A flicker of emotion crossed Bai Ning's eyes. She turned her face away. "When the rain lessens, you should go back."
"I'm not leaving." Chu Ye threw all caution to the wind, saying shamelessly, "I want to stay."
Bai Ning was helpless against her, and she almost wanted to laugh. She replied in a gentle voice, "Very well. You can sleep in the guest room tonight. Nuan Hua will take you there."
The guest room... Chu Ye's brow furrowed. She still won't acknowledge me. "I know you're very angry with me. I can wait, slowly. I'll wait until your anger fades, until you're willing to talk to me."
"I was wrong." Chu Ye moved closer to Bai Ning, coaxing her clumsily, "What can I do to make you feel better?"
She had made Bai Ning sad. She was willing to bear her anger, for as long as it took, but she couldn't bear to see Bai Ning unhappy.
Chu Ye was truly not good at placating people. Seeing Bai Ning sulking because of her, she could only worry helplessly.
Bai Ning shook her head. "If you didn't want to see me, you didn't have to come. You've done nothing wrong; you don't need to apologize to me."
"I didn't." Chu Ye's eyes were turning red with anxiety. She had never been this flustered, not even when killing someone. She added aggrievedly, "I wanted to see you. I thought about it every day..."
Bai Ning met her gaze. Her eyes were still clear, yet held a helpless, anxious sincerity.
"Then why didn't you come to see me? I was waiting for you." When Bai Ning spoke again, she could no longer maintain her cold facade. The look she gave Chu Ye softened.
"My heart was in turmoil. I didn't know..." Chu Ye bit her lip.
"Didn't know what?"
"I didn't know if I was allowed to like you." Chu Ye looked into Bai Ning's eyes, her own welling up with tears.
Of course, the moment she decided to come see Bai Ning, she already had her answer.
Chu Ye had always been proud and arrogant, even when she smiled. But every word she spoke tonight was as humble as dust.
Bai Ning's heart ached to hear it.
"If you're still angry," Chu Ye had said a lot, but every sentence was earnest, "don't be angry for too long, okay?"
Bai Ning gave a trembling smile. She had never seen someone try to placate another person like this. She coughed lightly, and a sharp pain flared in her chest.
Chu Ye gently put an arm around her shoulders and promptly began rubbing her chest, just like before. She looked down at Bai Ning, whose complexion was pale again, and said in her ear, "I'll carry you to bed."
Bai Ning lifted her eyes to gaze at her, giving her silent permission, allowing Chu Ye to wrap an arm around her waist and lift her up.
Once on the bed, Bai Ning sank softly into the bedding.
Chu Ye leaned over her, unwilling to let go, taking the opportunity to keep holding her. In the past, she would have shyly averted her gaze, but not now. She looked directly at Bai Ning's face.
When they were apart, she thought of her every day.
Gazing at each other like this, face to face, eased their longing. It was the same for Bai Ning. She felt her heart burn under that stare. From the moment they met tonight, Chu Ye had been looking at her this way, the love in her eyes blatant and unrestrained.
Bai Ning's fingertips gently caressed the back of her neck, slowly moving to the base of her ear, kneading it idly. She asked in a whisper, "Did Qingliu take off your mask?"
She's finally talking to me properly.
"She wanted to, but I didn't let her." Chu Ye answered properly, but her gaze was anything but. Her eyes swept over Bai Ning's face and lips, and her voice held the slightest tremor:
"I only let you touch me."
Arrogant yet sincere words of love.
Bai Ning caressed her cheek. Thinking of her clumsy attempts tonight, she smiled. "You fool, you don't know how to placate someone at all."
Being called a fool by her, Chu Ye only felt a sweetness spread through her heart.
"Then you teach me," Chu Ye said earnestly. "How should I placate you..."
They held each other, their eyes meeting again for a moment.
"You want me to teach you?"
"Yes." Chu Ye nodded. She just wanted to do anything that would make Bai Ning happy.
Bai Ning's gaze shifted. Her slender fingertips touched Chu Ye's lips, rubbing them gently, letting her own hot breath fall upon them.
Chu Ye looked at her watery eyes, and her head grew hot. She began to kiss Bai Ning's fingertips, clumsily at first, letting out an involuntary hum as she slowly kissed her way to the base of her fingers.
"Ye'er."
Bai Ning's cheeks began to grow warm.
Chu Ye's lips were slightly parted. She didn't know why, but Bai Ning could always make her mouth go dry with such ease.
"Mm—"
Fortunately, this time, as her mouth went dry, Bai Ning wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her lips.
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