ORCBRB – Chapter 33
Chapter 33
As a narcissistic little peacock, while others in their adolescence fantasized about their future partners, Sang Shi'an’s mind was filled with thoughts of how much prettier she had become that day. As a result, she had never considered what kind of person she would fall for.
When Sang Shiyue strictly guarded against her dating any unsavory boys, Sang Shi'an was utterly uninterested and gave him a perfunctory response. When she saw her close friends getting girlfriends one by one, Sang Shi'an was a mere spectator, offering casual congratulations.
In the end, none of it had anything to do with her.
The only time she ever cared about homosexuality was when Jian Cenyu, who liked women, was supposed to enter into a marriage alliance with her own brother. It wasn't that she was prejudiced, she just felt it was immoral.
And so began her series of provocative actions, pretending to be Kitty.
If they were just friends, would she repeatedly use this friend as a template to compare with the person confessing to her? If she were just a younger sister, would her heart pound so hard it felt like it would leap out of her throat when her older sister helped adjust her makeup?
Coupled with her previous impulsive actions toward Jian Cenyu, even when Sang Shi'an and Jian Cenyu were close as children, she would never have interfered in the other's life to this extent.
There are boundaries in interpersonal relationships, and her feelings for Jian Cenyu seemed to have crossed that line.
So, was this love? The kind of love seen in TV dramas, where one would donate a kidney, slit their wrists, or jump off a cliff for the other person?
Thinking again about how she had gone to trouble Jian Zhenyang for Jian Cenyu's sake... Sang Shi'an suddenly felt that this kind of love wasn't worth having. It was enough that she knew about it herself; there was no need to say it out loud and embarrass herself.
In any case, only she knew about this. After resolving this psychological pressure, Sang Shi'an immediately adopted a "might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" attitude and called the waiter over, saying cheerfully, "Get me three chocolate soufflés to go. She's paying."
Things bought with Jian Cenyu's money just tasted better.
Jian Cenyu watched as the expressions on Sang Shi'an's face changed again and again. She had thought Sang Shi'an was about to fly into a rage because of what she had said, but unexpectedly, the topic returned to food.
Fine.
At least her appetite had improved.
She was willing to eat now.
To test this idea, after the meal, Sang Shi'an dragged Jian Cenyu to go shopping in the mall, buying every piece of jewelry and clothing that Jian Cenyu nodded at and approved of.
For the past half-month, Sang Shi'an had been constantly suspicious and paranoid, a heavy stone weighing on her heart whenever she saw Jian Cenyu. Now that she finally understood the reason for her abnormal behavior, Sang Shi'an's good mood multiplied, and for the first time, she experienced the joy of giving up and letting things be.
That's right, what was there to be afraid of?
So what if she had fallen for Jian Cenyu?
Going from disliking someone to liking them was no big deal.
Sitting in Jian Cenyu's car, Sang Shi'an held her phone and messaged Su Ningyue.
[Susu, little Susu! I found the reason for my strange behavior. The doctor was right, the answer really had to be found with Jian Cenyu. That doctor is a miracle worker, a modern-day Hua Tuo!]
It took a while for Su Ningyue to reply: [Are you sure you found the answer?]
Sang Shi'an said demurely: [What's so hard about it? I like her.]
On the other end of the screen, Su Ningyue spat out a mouthful of water. Wait, was this "like" the kind of "like" she was thinking of? Didn't she say there was no such thing as love in this world?
Su Ningyue knew Sang Shi'an all too well. Seeing Sang Shi'an take the initiative to state this answer meant that she must have become aware of her good feelings for Jian Cenyu.
However, the extent of these feelings, and whether they fell within the scope of true love, was another matter entirely.
Su Ningyue could sense the joy radiating from Sang Shi'an's words. After some thought, she decided to rain on her parade a little: [Have you been influenced by your online romance? Are you sure it's 'like'? And have you thought about the marriage alliance between your brother and her?]
Sang Shi'an frowned, glancing at Jian Cenyu who was paying with her card.
[Kitty just borrowed my body. How could I be influenced by it?]
[What does my brother's marriage alliance with her have to do with me? I like her, so I just need to be with her. For example, I found that things she buys for me make me happier than things I buy myself, so from now on, I'll just let her spend the money.]
[As for my brother, I'm not going to date Jian Cenyu. I just went from rejecting Jian Cenyu to liking her. Am I really going to get into that kind of stupid love where you slit your wrists and jump off buildings?]
Su Ningyue was stunned.
She belatedly realized something was wrong.
Sang Shi'an already had symptoms of emotional apathy due to excessive narcissism. Coupled with her consistent rejection of melodramatic love, Su Ningyue finally confirmed that Sang Shi'an seemed to be unaware that liking someone implied possession, and that possessing someone was an extremely private matter.
Su Ningyue had previously deliberately avoided pointing out that Sang Shi'an's abnormality was due to 'love'. At this moment, she felt she had to give Sang Shi'an a few pointers.
[Baby Sang, Cenyu Jiejie won't always spend money on you. Right now, you're the younger sister she still temporarily acknowledges. In the future, she'll have her own lover. Even if she cares about you, she has to consider her lover's feelings. Last time we watched that movie, didn't you say the second male lead was a total white lotus?]
[Cenyu Jiejie already has a girlfriend, Kitty. If you like Cenyu Jiejie and still interact with her like that, are you planning to expose Kitty's identity, or be the third party between her and Kitty?]
[You're occupying her girlfriend's place, yet you insist you don't want to be in a relationship. Listen to yourself, what does that make you?]
Sang Shi'an's face immediately darkened.
Putting aside the fact that she herself was Kitty, Sang Shi'an felt she was even more of a white lotus, more pretentious than the second male lead in the movie.
She glanced at the shopping bags carried by the new assistant. Although this hadn't been her original intention, she had indeed reaped the benefits of her actions.
But if she were to expose Kitty's identity, she absolutely couldn't do it.
[No, I can't admit I'm Kitty. Jian Cenyu would definitely know I was tricking her. What if she marries my brother just to get revenge on me?]
Su Ningyue: [But don't you already have the chat logs of Cenyu Jiejie agreeing to date Kitty? Can't you just show them to your parents?]
Sang Shi'an: [That won't work either. How awkward would Jian Cenyu's situation be then? What if she doesn't want to expose her privacy about liking women? I think it's more appropriate to let Jian Cenyu take the initiative to refuse my brother.]
Moreover, she would absolutely, absolutely not admit to Jian Cenyu that she was Kitty. Even if Jian Cenyu didn't think she had ulterior motives back then, she had her pride. This kind of behavior—actively seducing Jian Cenyu and offering her body—would never happen to her!
She couldn't afford to lose face like that.
So the only option was to continue being an ignorant little white lotus. Anyway, Kitty was her, so there was no moral issue. What if she got tired of it as she went along?
After thinking it through, Sang Shi'an sent a final message to Su Ningyue: [Don't be so quick to define the 'like' I'm talking about. Let me test if I really like Jian Cenyu. Maybe it's just a little better than being friends?]
Su Ningyue: ...
Su Ningyue grabbed a napkin to wipe the table, her fingers hovering over the phone keyboard, unsure of what to type. After a long silence, she said to Su Ningshang, who had just finished her shower, "What do you think is the fastest way to verify if you like someone or not?"
Su Ningshang put down the towel, strands of dripping hair touching Su Ningyue's shoulder. Then she leaned down and kissed Su Ningyue.
The heartbeat will give the truest answer.
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