BSS - Chapter 99
Chapter 99
Three days later, in the evening, they left Harbin.
A five-day trip might not have been enough to understand this city that stood in the north of the country, a place both retro and modern, but the memories made here were beautiful enough for Deng Chuan to remember it forever.
They had seen ice sculptures together, eaten a whole bag of ice cream bars on the snowy streets, and feasted on piping hot Guobaorou, Di San Xian, and sauerkraut dumplings. They had cautiously petted the city's cats, built lopsided snowmen in dimly lit parks, and kissed and hugged in unknown corners.
This was just an ordinary winter in Harbin.
On their last night in the city, Xu Wei even took Deng Chuan to a music pub. Pushing open the heavy door, the sound of a saxophone drifted through the air. Xu Wei's slender fingers wrapped around a green beer bottle, the dim light dancing at her fingertips. Watching her, Deng Chuan could completely understand what a captivating person Xu Wei must have been at her age.
Rarely, no one came over to hit on them, and they enjoyed themselves. Xu Wei taught Deng Chuan how to play dice. Her eyes were half-lidded, and with her movements, the dice rattled rhythmically inside the cup. The sound was monotonous yet pleasant. Then she raised her eyes to look at Deng Chuan. Her focused gaze almost made everything feel like a classic scene from an arthouse film.
But reality wasn't an arthouse film; reality was always richer than any movie. Just like on the way back, Deng Chuan held Xu Wei's hand as snowflakes drifted through the lamplight and landed on their shoulders. The tipsiness from the alcohol made the warmth between their palms feel even greater. The ambiguous light and shadows that had surrounded them for the past few hours suddenly receded, leaving only a few blurry fragments, like the falling snow.
The next morning, they watched the sunrise from their hotel window.
The sunrise was beautiful.
The sun peeked through the clouds from between the buildings, and the sky brightened bit by bit. Unlike the sunrises seen from the seaside or a mountaintop, what was most eye-catching this morning wasn't the newborn sun, but the sea of clouds, dyed with color and surging in layers.
The same scenery was shimmering in Xu Wei's eyes.
But Deng Chuan didn't have time to savor the moment, because they were on the move again without stopping.
Their next stop was Xu Wei's hometown.
In the bustling airport, Deng Chuan squeezed Xu Wei's hand inside her pocket. Xu Wei leaned against her shoulder, her eyes closed as she caught up on sleep.
Going back to Xu Wei's hometown with her... it would be a lie to say she wasn't nervous. Deng Chuan scrolled through her phone with her other hand, absentmindedly checking various messages-there were so many unread ones. She had only been away for a few days, but it felt as if she'd been cut off from the world, like no one could find her.
So when Deng Chuan suddenly posted in her dorm's group chat, her roommates all came out of the woodwork, accusing her of disappearing as soon as the break started and wondering where she was having fun.
Deng Chuan typed with one hand, explaining that she was traveling with Xu Wei and didn't have much time to check her phone. Urged on by her roommates, she sent a few photos and acted as a Harbin tour guide, recommending all the fun places they had visited over the past few days.
It was always more cheerful being with people her own age. After chatting with her roommates for a while, Deng Chuan's nervousness eased slightly. The airport chairs were oddly designed, making her back a little stiff, and she unconsciously straightened up.
Deng Chuan's movement caused Xu Wei to stir on her shoulder. She half-opened her eyes, her long lashes drooping sleepily, and her voice was thick with moisture. "What time is it?"
"It's still early." Deng Chuan gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll wake you when they make the announcement. Just get some sleep."
"Mm," Xu Wei mumbled in response, closing her eyes again. Her breathing gradually evened out.
Deng Chuan chatted with her roommates for a bit longer, then, out of boredom, started a chat with Pei Qingyu. Pei Qingyu was on break and working part-time at a local art studio, teaching kids how to sketch as a student teacher.
Pei Qingyu was probably slacking off and checking her phone during class, as her replies were intermittent. After a while, she finally replied with a sigh of relief: I let them practice on their own. What's up?
Deng Chuan replied: I sent you a postcard. Don't forget to pick it up.
Pei Qingyu sent back a "Thank you" sticker typical of older generations, featuring a giant rose spinning against a colorful background. Then she asked about their upcoming plans.
Deng Chuan told her the truth: Accompanying Teacher Xu back to her hometown.
Pei Qingyu was cheerfully thoughtless: Wow! You'd better be on your best behavior!
Deng Chuan bit her lip: I'm nervous as hell. I asked her where I'd be staying, but she wouldn't say anything.
Just go with her plan. Pei Qingyu was unconcerned. Teacher Xu seems like she knows what she's doing.
Deng Chuan replied sincerely: Thank you for brushing me off with that useless comment.
Pei Qingyu didn't understand her distress and just giggled, spamming her with stickers.
As she was chatting, Xu Wei, on her shoulder, slowly opened her eyes. She was fully awake now, her voice hoarse. "Who are you talking to? You seem so happy."
Deng Chuan's phone screen was right under her nose. The kid even honestly moved it closer, so Xu Wei didn't have to change her position, only lift her eyelids, to see their chat history clearly.
She chuckled softly. "What's there to be nervous about... When we get there, wait for me at my door for a bit. If there's no fight, you'll stay at my place. If there is, we'll go stay somewhere else."
For a moment, Deng Chuan couldn't decide which of Xu Wei's scenarios she hoped would happen.
She agonized over it for a while before saying dryly, "If they scold you, I'll talk back. You'll have to hold me back then."
"Okay," Xu Wei said, trying hard to suppress her laughter. "Don't worry, I won't let myself be taken advantage of."
She knew Xu Wei was joking with her, but the thought of Xu Wei actually arguing with her family made Deng Chuan take a deep breath as if she were there. To distract herself, she changed the subject, asking Xu Wei, "Do you want some water?"
Xu Wei shook her head noncommittally, her hand slowly intertwining with Deng Chuan's inside the pocket. Then, she gently nuzzled against her ear.
Deng Chuan didn't say anything. The arrival of an intimate atmosphere could be felt without words, a state that no one else could break. Xu Wei gently hooked her fingers. The two of them nestled together in silence, and simply holding hands was beautiful enough.
There was still some time before boarding. Although dinner would be served on the plane, Xu Wei was still afraid Deng Chuan would get hungry. She had always been particular about Deng Chuan's meals. The two of them went to McDonald's hand in hand. Deng Chuan gnawed on some crispy fried chicken while Xu Wei had an ice cream cone.
Xu Wei was a slow eater. By the time Deng Chuan had finished a whole meal set, Xu Wei hadn't finished her cone. Deng Chuan took a big bite, chomping off a large piece of the crispy cone along with the ice cream. Xu Wei wasn't upset, but she shot Deng Chuan a subtle, reproachful look that meant, You're so childish.
Childish or not, Deng Chuan would never admit that she only wanted a bite because Xu Wei looked like she was enjoying it so much. She immediately tilted her head back and took a big gulp of Coke, the ice cubes rattling in the cup.
The two of them sat in the restaurant for a while. Over at the counter, a little kid who had ordered a kids' meal with a toy was holding it and giggling with delight. They both saw it. Xu Wei leaned close to Deng Chuan's ear and asked, "You're a kid too. Do you want one?"
Her expression was so serious when she said it, as if she weren't joking. Although Deng Chuan didn't quite understand Xu Wei's strange sense of humor, she played along with her nonsense. "I don't want a toy, I want a wife. Sister, can you buy me a wife?"
Xu Wei shot her a glare. "Sister can't afford one." She patted the kid's head. "A wife or a sister, pick one. I'll do my best to satisfy you."
The kid took her hand and tactfully pledged her loyalty. "Of course I just want Sister. Sister, do you want some Coke?"
Deng Chuan rarely called Xu Wei 'Sister' so frequently before. Of course, there was a playful element to it now, but it still made Xu Wei feel a bit dizzy. On the surface, Teacher Xu very seriously stuffed the last bite of the ice cream cone into Deng Chuan's mouth, using the gesture to end the 'sister' topic. "Alright, that's enough. Sister will hold your hand. Let's go."
After a little while, the boarding announcement for their flight finally came on. As Xu Wei held Deng Chuan's hand and queued for the ticket check, she suddenly felt a belated thrill of happiness.
Perhaps it was mixed with a certain unease.
Had she really decided on her? Decided on this person before her, eight years younger, who perhaps still knew nothing about the future? Their rhythms might not be in sync yet. Would this leap of faith be right or wrong? Xu Wei didn't know, but she knew she couldn't afford to lose anymore. Deng Chuan was her final, all-or-nothing gamble on love.
She felt the person who was completely unaware of her thoughts at this moment tighten their grip on her hand.
Xu Wei understood that Deng Chuan had this ability to support her like a flash of inspiration during her countless moments of confusion and despair.
Her soul was translucent, which was why she could see the sadness in others with a kind of pure white intuition.
Alright. Xu Wei squeezed Deng Chuan's hand back and sighed to herself. Even when I'm doubting, I can't help but romanticize her in my mind. I'm completely hopeless.
"Do your best and leave the rest to fate." This had always been Xu Wei's creed. Her feelings for Deng Chuan were, in the end, her own affair. All she had to do was everything within her power; the outcome was not within her control.
In the end, love was really a gamble.
Alright, Xu Wei thought. If that's the case, then I'm willing. Willing to bet my ordinary life on another person's possibly unstable future.
Deng Chuan truly had no idea what Xu Wei was thinking. She just saw a fleeting expression of profound loneliness on her face that made her heart clench instantly.
And at this moment, Xu Wei wasn't the only one feeling lost and hesitant. Deng Chuan used Xu Wei's hand to soothe her own restless patience. The sense of responsibility was nearly crushing her, and as the pain of inadequacy washed over her, she didn't forget to remind herself.
-Remember. Remember this moment.
The plane's enormous wings were faintly visible in the twilight. Deng Chuan felt Xu Wei firmly holding her hand, walking forward.
"Don't be afraid."
Amidst her trembling, Deng Chuan heard Xu Wei whisper to her:
-"I love you, and that's enough."
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