BSS - Chapter 107

Chapter 107

This made Xu Wei laugh. She seemed to have recovered a little, her mood improving. While letting Deng Chuan kiss her, she subtly turned her body to avoid the direction of the main crowd. "Don't talk nonsense."

Just then, her phone started vibrating. Xu Wei pressed her face against Deng Chuan's, guiding her to pull back a bit, while she herself remained leaning in her arms and answered the call. "Hello."

As luck would have it, the person on the other end was Xu Cheng. As Xu Wei listened to him speak, she regretted not checking the caller ID. Deng Chuan was idly stroking her neck with her fingers, making her a little distracted. "What is it?"

Xu Cheng's voice was low. "Dad said… since it's a rare trip, to bring her a few bags of beef meatballs."

He then asked, "Where are you guys now? I can bring them over to you."

Deng Chuan was still looking at her. Xu Wei held Deng Chuan's hand. "That's not necessary."

Xu Cheng might have anticipated her refusal. He made his voice sound even weaker. "Sister…"

Xu Wei's tone softened slightly. "It's not convenient for us to eat them. Don't bring them over."

"Alright then…" Xu Cheng seemed to hesitate for a moment before calling out in a small voice, "Sister."

"What is it?"

Her brother's voice was very, very low. "I'm sorry."

After saying that, he held his breath, waiting for his sister's reaction on the other end of the line.

The line was silent for about three seconds, and then with a beep, it was disconnected.

"What's wrong?" Deng Chuan had noticed the coldness in Xu Wei's tone. Since she was speaking in the Chaoshan dialect, she guessed that her family must have said something to upset her again.

"It's nothing." Xu Wei paused for a moment, then put the phone into Deng Chuan's pocket and said flatly, "Nothing important."

Deng Chuan didn't press further. "Okay." She looked down at her. "Are you still upset? Should we walk a bit more?"

Xu Wei gently shook her head; she seemed to have finally come to her senses. Fortunately, the lights from the river surface prevented Deng Chuan from seeing the blush on her face. She reached out and wrapped her arms around the Little Friend's slender waist, resting her chin on Deng Chuan's shoulder. Her voice, muffled by the edge of the hoodie, was a little stuffy. "Just hold me a little longer."

Xu Wei could feel Deng Chuan's hand resting securely on her back.

She leaned against her, their chests rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The way Deng Chuan held her back gradually brought a complete calm over Xu Wei, as if her very soul was being soothed. Once again, at a time when Xu Wei needed it, Deng Chuan displayed an astonishing composure and steadiness. In a way, Xu Wei felt that Deng Chuan handled things better than she did; at her age, no one could have done better.

Neither of them spoke. Deng Chuan held her in a silent, gentle embrace, standing very firm. Perhaps a light breath brushed softly over the crown of Xu Wei's hair, feverish enough to warm Xu Wei for an entire winter.

Thinking of this, Xu Wei couldn't help but think of their first hug. Or perhaps, it was only a hug from her perspective. Deng Chuan had been sick at the time; she had held her and taken her to the nurse's office.

They had a simple teacher-student relationship back then. Deng Chuan had a fever, her face pale, which made her eyes seem even darker. Yet those beautiful eyes still didn't dare to look at her. Xu Wei knew what she was thinking; she knew, or perhaps pretended not to know, the deeper feelings this kid held. But for some inexplicable reason, she felt a great affection for her. The moment she saw her sick, she immediately wanted to go and care for her.

The Deng Chuan in her arms back then had also been feverish and quiet.

At that time, she had also thought that they wouldn't have a story. A teacher needed a heart that was harder and more ordinary than most. Students were sent off year after year, and in Xu Wei's eyes, every child should have been the same. They were all still growing up, and Xu Wei was only responsible for a very small part of their lives. Years later, they might come back, or they might not, and that too would be a very small thing in Xu Wei's life.

But people are made of flesh and blood. No matter how hard Xu Wei tried to train her heart to be, it was still soft. In the end, she could only admit that Deng Chuan was indeed different.

Xu Wei saw them off to the Gaokao, helped them move their books, and offered words of encouragement to everyone. But when it came to Deng Chuan, she was at a loss for words. What was there to say? By then, she could no longer control her own greed, afraid that opening her mouth would expose her favoritism. In the end, she could only cast a glance at her from afar.

In her eyes, Deng Chuan was still very young; that was something that couldn't be helped. Xu Wei was conscious of this youthfulness at the time, and she was also afraid that Deng Chuan understood this consciousness, afraid of shattering the beautiful image she had of her in her heart. She was even as eager for the Gaokao to end as Deng Chuan was, an anticipation she shouldn't have had. Xu Wei had been very troubled by this, so troubled that she hardly felt like an adult.

But back then, there must have been a secret joy in her heart. Fortunately, she was her teacher, able to openly witness these precious moments in Deng Chuan's life. In the face of such preciousness, all those struggles and worries were nothing. The teenage years, the period of bloom, is very short.

This secret joy gave Xu Wei ample comfort, allowing her to remain calm and wait quietly.

Looking back from the present, it didn't seem like that much time had passed. The old Xu Wei would never have imagined that she and Deng Chuan would have a chance to be truly close. Everything happened so fast, and she had indeed indulged her heart.

This was, of course, a very good thing. But for Xu Wei, who was accustomed to restraint, this indulgence brought her even more surprises.

Because of it, she had more vivid emotions, a more intense love and hate, and was able to perceive the past and future with greater clarity. People often say that suffering is a form of cultivation. But Xu Wei felt that the existence of suffering was more of an inevitability. Without pain, how could one empathize with joy? Without loss, how could one appreciate the value of possession? Xu Wei hadn't reached a point of being grateful for her suffering; she simply thought with acceptance, the most beautiful flowers bloom from ruins; it has always been so.

Deng Chuan's hand on her back moved. Her elbow and palm formed a semicircular embrace, a posture of attachment. She held her, her lips barely brushing against her cheek, and murmured in a low voice, "I love you…"

She held her just like that. So securely and steadily, Xu Wei felt as if she had finally landed on solid ground.

She thought, if this is true love, then love is worth it. All the events of the past could be erased by this love.

And so, she responded to her softly, calling her name, "Deng Chuan, Deng Chuan, I've made up my mind. Let's go back tomorrow."

Of course, Deng Chuan had no objections. Her hand stroked Xu Wei's long hair as she turned her head to look into her eyes with concern. "Are you really okay? I don't mind. What's important is you. I'll listen to you."

"Mhm," Xu Wei said. "I'm fine. I've thought it through very clearly."

The Little Friend then leaned in again with attachment, pressing her cheek against hers in comfort.

With her mind made up, Xu Wei completely overturned her previous plans. She was never an indecisive person to begin with. She immediately took Deng Chuan's hand and started walking back. "Didn't you want to eat Licorice Fruit? Let's go buy some now. We're leaving tomorrow, so let's make the most of tonight and eat a little more."

"Mhm." Deng Chuan obediently moved her feet to follow her. As Xu Wei's mood improved, her own tone became fittingly cheerful. "I want to eat lots and lots of green mango."

It was now past nine in the evening, the liveliest time in the city. The barbecue stalls and food stands that planned to stay open all night were just setting up, sending up plumes of white smoke from newly lit charcoal fires. The streets were bustling, lined with bright, two-story buildings with shops on the ground floor and residences above. Bed sheets and clothes hung from the windows, outside of which stood tall, lush banyan trees.

Since they had decided to go back tomorrow, they could stay out a little later tonight. Xu Wei took Deng Chuan to eat a bellyful of green mango, then they strolled down Paifang Street and had matcha ice cream. They walked the entire length of the street, emerging from the city gate tower and returning to the riverside. The light show had ended, the river surface was dark and heavy, and most of the tourists had dispersed, leaving only a few people walking along the riverside path.

Unconsciously, the night had deepened. The dome of the sky was impenetrably black, without a single star in sight.

Their night ended with two bowls of steaming hot Beef Kueh Teow. Cilantro, fried garlic bits, beef meatballs, hand-cut fresh beef, and smooth, snow-white rice noodles. On this cold winter night, the aroma seemed to drift far, far away.

Naturally, this aroma also clung to their clothes. On the way back after eating, both of them smelled of Beef Kueh Teow. The air was cold, but the Beef Kueh Teow made their bodies burn with warmth. Deng Chuan held Xu Wei's hand and walked into a pitch-black alley. The door of the guesthouse cast the only patch of light. The owner was still awake, playing Spider Solitaire at the counter. The cat lay beside him, sleeping with its belly exposed.

That night, Xu Wei felt as if she was completely immersed in that aroma. She sank into the soft bedding and had a series of chaotic dreams. In her dreams were many people she had met in the past—from elementary school, middle school, high school, and university. But the her in the dream was not her; she was merely an observer. She watched that small girl, from such a tiny thing, gradually grow taller, stretch out, fill out, and transform from a child holding her mother's hand into an adult leaving home alone.

She had her first crush, fell into a natural youthful phase, and devoted her entire love to another. She was more stubborn than she remembered, refusing to admit her failures or show sadness in front of others. She only repeatedly asked herself in her heart, what is right, and what is wrong?

The dreaming Xu Wei watched that former version of herself, empathizing with her loneliness and pain. The dream finally turned into an incredible darkness. Xu Wei felt as if she had fallen into the night sky, looking down upon this homeland. In this city of glittering lights, where were her old days buried?

She searched for her home, her mother, her father, and her brother. Back then, her brother had just been born. She was going to kindergarten, and her father held her hand, affectionately reminding her, calling out again and again, "Weiwei, be good. Weiwei, you have to listen. Don't wander off after school. Wait for Dad to come pick you up and take you home."

Reflexively, Xu Wei wanted to open her mouth to say okay, but she couldn't speak.

She opened her mouth again and again in vain, but no words would come out.

At the end of the dream, someone seemed to be calling her to wake up.

She was also calling her.

"Weiwei-"

And then, she finally shed a tear. And walked towards her.

Get instant access to all the chapters now.

Previous Table of Contents Next