BSS - Chapter 33
Chapter 33
The sky was overcast, and a biting spring chill seeped through the gaps in her clothes. There was a hint of dampness in the air. When Deng Chuan rested her head on Xu Wei's neck, she seemed to catch the scent of damp flowers.
The fragrance was light, like a dream or mist. The skin of Xu Wei's neck was slightly cool. Deng Chuan pressed her face against it, and her headache eased a little.
People are always especially vulnerable when they're sick. Deng Chuan could feel Xu Wei's hand resting steadily on her shoulder, which gave her a great sense of security.
A strange sort of fledgling's attachment welled up inside her, and she couldn't help but gently nuzzle her neck with her face.
The skin-to-skin contact was distinct.
Xu Wei noticed and stiffened slightly, unaccustomed to the sensation. She looked closely at Deng Chuan's lowered profile. Her face was pale, the corners of her eyes were tinged with a faint red from the fever, and her gaze was dazed.
She looked like she was truly in discomfort.
With that thought, Xu Wei suppressed the strange feeling in her heart and focused on holding her as they walked toward the dormitory.
It was the students' lunch break. The dormitory building was quiet. Xu Wei walked Deng Chuan to her dorm room. When she pushed the door open, everyone inside was already asleep.
She subconsciously lightened her steps and helped Deng Chuan inside.
This was Xu Wei's first time in a student dormitory. The room was quite clean. Besides the beds, there was a row of desks along one side. The desks were piled high with thick test papers and review books, all of them dog-eared from use. On the chairs were the students' bags and water bottles, brought back at noon.
The moment she stepped inside, Xu Wei immediately sensed an atmosphere different from that of an ordinary dorm, one unique to third-year high school students. It was as if the very air was saturated with knowledge. There was little sign of daily life; the room was treated merely as a waystation for brief stops. It was simple and orderly, yet tense.
The two of them walked to the only empty bed. Deng Chuan consciously lifted her head from Xu Wei's shoulder and stood up straight. Losing the support, her legs suddenly felt weak, so she simply sat down on the edge of the bed, her head lowered, and stared blankly for a moment.
Xu Wei's attention was focused on her. Seeing Deng Chuan sit on the edge of the bed, her previously restrained gaze inadvertently drifted past her to the bed itself.
The small personal space was filled with Deng Chuan's scent. The light gray sheets and duvet cover seemed to have been brought from home. They looked exceptionally soft, and the bed was made very neatly-very much in Deng Chuan's style.
At this thought, she unconsciously smiled a little to herself.
The smile had sprouted like a tender bud in spring. By the time Xu Wei became aware of it, it had already grown into a velvety lawn.
Xu Wei pulled her gaze back and saw Deng Chuan looking at her. Her sick eyes were moist, her gaze soft and harmless, like a well-groomed, very obedient little puppy.
She couldn't resist reaching out to pat her head.
Both of them froze for a moment. Xu Wei pulled her hand back, averted her eyes, and nonchalantly placed the takeout container she was holding by the bed. Afraid of waking the other students, she crouched down, leaned in, and said softly, "Get some rest. Remember to eat your lunch, and then take your medicine."
Deng Chuan's mind was still stuck on the moment Xu Wei had patted her head. Now, with Xu Wei's whisper in her ear, before she could even process it, her body moved on its own, her arms rising to embrace her.
She was still running a fever, so to Xu Wei, it felt like a small furnace was pressed against her.
Deng Chuan tightened her arms, not saying a word.
Fortunately, after the walk over, Xu Wei was already quite composed about Deng Chuan's unusual physical closeness. She thought the kid was in a lot of discomfort and felt it wouldn't be right to push her away immediately. She raised a hand to her shoulder and coaxed softly, "Alright. Take your medicine, and you'll be better tomorrow."
The kid didn't make a sound. Pushing her luck, she buried her head in Xu Wei's shoulder and didn't move.
Afraid someone might see, Xu Wei used a bit of strength to break free. Then she comfortingly stroked her face. She said in a low voice, "Alright, I'm leaving now. Remember to take your medicine after you've eaten."
Deng Chuan's reluctance was plain to see. She hummed a soft "en." She watched eagerly as Xu Wei stood up and tiptoed away.
She carefully carried the takeout container to her desk, got her medicine, and sat down. She felt her limbs go weak, and the energy she had just regained dissipated.
Inside the container were congee and some small side dishes, still warm. Deng Chuan had no appetite, but thinking that Xu Wei had brought it, she forced herself to eat a few bites. Then she took her medicine, changed out of her school uniform, lay down, and drowsily fell asleep again.
She slept fitfully. In a half-dreaming state, she heard her roommates getting up to go to class. She drifted in and out of sleep all afternoon, tossing and turning until evening, when she was fully awakened by the sounds of her roommates returning and washing up.
Lying down all the time wasn't going to help her get better. So Deng Chuan got up, changed her clothes, and put on a jacket. Jiang Meng saw that she still looked unwell and asked cautiously, "Deng Chuan. Are you still going to evening self-study?"
Deng Chuan answered her in a hoarse voice, "I am."
She wasn't hungry at all and skipped dinner. She quickly swallowed her medicine and headed for the classroom.
It was still early outside. It had rained, and the air that greeted her was fresh.
After a walk outside, Deng Chuan felt a bit more energetic. The classroom was empty. On the blackboard were notes from geography class. She looked at it for a while before realizing which test paper they had been reviewing.
Except for the first period of math, she had missed all of her classes today. She would have to wait for her classmates to return to catch up on the notes.
She lowered her head in thought, deciding to first finish memorizing the day's vocabulary and her reinforcement exercises.
After going through the vocabulary once, a few people started trickling into the classroom. Jiang Meng arrived, and before Deng Chuan could even ask, she proactively handed over the test papers they had gone over that day. "We just went over test papers today. Just take a look and jot down anything you need to add."
Deng Chuan thanked her, took the papers, and flipped through them.
The papers were filled with notes in different colors; they were very complete. She added some notes to her own papers, organized them according to her own habits, and then returned the test.
By the time she finished, the first period of evening self-study was already half over. Xu Wei had arrived at some point and was standing outside the classroom, explaining a problem to a student.
Deng Chuan looked up and glanced at her. A belated wave of exhaustion washed over her.
Perhaps the medicine was taking effect; her head wasn't as groggy, and she was starting to feel hungry.
Luckily, she kept snacks in the classroom. Deng Chuan hesitated for a moment between various cookies and snacks, then ate a piece of chocolate and felt much better.
As expected, lying in bed all day was getting her nowhere. With that thought, she opened her politics textbook.
The bell signaling the end of evening self-study rang, but hardly anyone in the classroom moved. Everyone kept their heads down, seizing the time to finish the last of their studies for the day.
Xu Wei came in to get the test papers and pen she had left on the lectern. Seeing that Deng Chuan hadn't left yet, she walked slowly toward her.
Deng Chuan was bent over her desk, concentrating on writing a history essay question, and didn't notice her approach.
Xu Wei stood beside her for a while, watching the tip of her pen glide smoothly across the paper, her flowing handwriting gradually filling the answer space. Only after she wrote the final period did Xu Wei speak. "How are you? Feeling any better?"
Deng Chuan flinched as if startled and looked up at her, her eyes still holding a trace of confusion from being pulled out of her studies.
Paired with her pale face from her illness, she looked like a dazed little lamb.
Xu Wei reached out and touched the little lamb's forehead. It was cool and clammy with a bit of cold sweat; it seemed she hadn't fully recovered.
She saw that Deng Chuan was wearing her jacket and had water in her cup. Her tone softened as she said, "If you're not feeling well, you should go back and rest early. Don't stay up too late."
The little lamb obediently agreed. She swiftly packed up her books and papers and stood up almost the very next second.
So quickly it seemed as if it had all been premeditated.
Xu Wei: ?
What happened to the frail little lamb?
The little lamb's face still showed the weakness of early recovery, but her eyes were bright. She turned her head and asked her openly, "Teacher Xu. Aren't you leaving?"
Her gaze was sincere, her attitude proper.
The frail little lamb seemed to have returned to her usual energetic self.
This was a good thing, of course, but they had already had enough contact for one day.
"..." Xu Wei paused, seemingly a bit helpless. Just as she was about to speak, she heard the boys in the back of the room calling her in low voices.
It was probably a new problem they had dug up from some review book.
Now it was Deng Chuan's turn to feel helpless. She watched as Xu Wei gestured with her eyes for her to leave first, then turned and walked toward the back of the room.
She sighed, a little unwilling to give up. Along with her returning energy came memories that also seemed to have just returned.
She couldn't stop replaying the moment she had hugged Xu Wei at noon, remembering the pressure of her hand gently placed on her shoulder, the feel of her fingertips on her face, the breath brushing against her ear, and the face so close to her own.
Well, even though there was no perfect "say goodnight" today, the "candy" she had given her was more than enough.
It was enough to sweeten this final stretch of her school life.
Thinking this, Deng Chuan walked back to the dormitory in a good mood.
Back in the classroom, Xu Wei finished explaining the problem. She then emphasized once more to the boys: "In this final stretch, the focus of your studies should be on the practice papers and knowledge systems provided by the school. You can make appropriate adjustments based on your own situation, but don't get your priorities mixed up and waste your energy on overly difficult or obscure problems."
She spoke clearly, and the boys all nodded.
But Xu Wei knew in her heart that these students wouldn't necessarily listen to her. At this moment, they all thought they were the ones who best understood their own situations. They couldn't appreciate her earnest advice. They thought some of her warnings were alarmist and believed they could bear the future consequences.
The young are passionate and naive, but also stubborn and obstinate.
But even so, she would still remind them again and again, using both carrot and stick, playing the part of the villain they didn't trust.
After all, she was responsible for their youth.
The night gradually deepened.
Xu Wei returned to her dorm, finished tidying up, and tried to rest. A third-year homeroom teacher's day was just as packed as a third-year student's. She was exhausted, but she couldn't sleep.
Zhou Liu hopped onto the bed, wanting to sleep with her. Of the two people in the room, he visibly preferred Xu Wei. Qin Shu was too boisterous, and he was actually a little afraid of her.
An adult cat wasn't light, and his weight pressed down on her arm. Xu Wei pushed him aside, but a moment later, he quietly snuggled back.
She felt a bit helpless and just let him be.
Physical exhaustion could be relieved, but mental fatigue lingered. On the walk back just now, Xu Wei's mind had been preoccupied with her conversation with those boys.
It was clearly a matter of no great importance, yet she felt as if these sudden realizations had struck a nerve.
As if possessed, the more she thought about it, the deeper she delved.
Those boys wouldn't listen to advice. Xu Wei knew that there were some truths they might not understand now, nor would they take them seriously. Only when they looked back in the future would they realize that they had been warned about everything all along.
Generation after generation of young people always had to hit a wall before they knew to turn back, as if a youth not spent hitting walls was a youth wasted.
At this thought, Xu Wei sighed softly. But was it only the young who were destined to hit walls?
When young people hit a wall, they still had their youth to fall back on. But what did she have?
Xu Wei couldn't figure it out, nor could she understand her own current behavior. It felt as if something was gradually spiraling out of control. And though she was well aware of it, she did nothing.
Or rather, she was letting that wall get closer and closer.
Losing control while remaining rational was the most terrifying thing of all. Xu Wei felt she had planted a bomb with her own hands. This bomb went against her original intentions. It lay dormant, silently counting down in her peaceful life, and she didn't know when it would blow her to pieces.
And though she could clearly hear the bomb's countdown, she turned a deaf ear.
She closed her eyes and thought, almost in a sigh: In the future, will the young people who hit the wall turn back? Will the boys who come to understand regret it? Will those who were once so earnest and full of sincere passion change? The future... what will the future be like?
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