BSS - Chapter 32

Chapter 32

After the first mock exam, it was as if everyone had realized overnight that the Gaokao was just around the corner. Even those who had been slacking off, giving up, or taking their time were passively swept up in the general atmosphere of anxiety. After all, this was one of the most important exams of their lives.

It might not determine your entire future, but it would decide your starting point and your life for the next few years.

The teachers were also giving it their all. The office during evening self-study was a constant stream of people. There were students the teachers had called in for a talk due to excessive stress, students doing specialized practice in the office for subjects they struggled with, and even more who had arranged for private tutoring with the teachers. The number, it was said, was not small.

Deng Chuan overheard bits and pieces of gossip. Under the high-pressure state, everyone's desire to vent was exceptionally strong. Even Su Mian called her late at night. She was under a lot of pressure in Beijing—academics, social life, the loneliness of being away from home for the first time—each thing left her frazzled.

Someone in the dorm had turned on a night light to study. A hazy white glow filtered through the bed curtains. It was dark all around, and at a glance, it looked like a faint lighthouse in a vast wilderness. Deng Chuan stood by the sinks outside, keeping her voice low as she spoke with Su Mian.

She felt that Su Mian's situation wasn't actually that bad. It was just that the people around her had triggered her anxiety. Unexpectedly, as soon as she said this, Su Mian's voice immediately turned aggrieved.

Su Mian said, "Deng Chuan. I don't dare say too much to you. I'm afraid I'm going to cry."

As she spoke, her voice was already tinged with tears.

Deng Chuan didn't know whether to laugh or cry. They were too familiar with each other; they had seen each other in all sorts of states, so such a genuine display of emotion wasn't awkward. "It's okay. Go ahead and cry. I'm here."

The person on the other end of the line immediately started to sob.

While choking back sobs, Su Mian laughed brokenly. "I'm done for… Is this so embarrassing… But it's just been so hard for me…"

Deng Chuan softened her voice, coaxing her, "It's not embarrassing. Everyone has moments like this."

"I don't even dare to call Qingyu… She's under a lot of pressure too… Sob… Why is life so hard…"

She sniffled loudly, which made her laugh at herself. Deng Chuan laughed too. The two of them laughed into the phone for a while. Then Su Mian said, "Are you about to sleep? You must be exhausted too…"

Her voice was thick with congestion.

Deng Chuan checked the time and whispered, "No. We can talk a little longer."

Having shed some tears, Su Mian seemed to have vented her stress as well. She gradually stopped crying and her mood improved. She started telling Deng Chuan about the interesting things happening with her classmates at the prep school.

"There's a classmate from Inner Mongolia in our class. We get along pretty well… We were playing cards in his dorm the other day, and we were all sitting around on his bed. After a while, someone suddenly said: Why is there something hard under my butt… Everyone was baffled. Then the guy felt around and pulled it out—it was an egg, and a hard-boiled one at that."

"Is that some kind of custom?" Deng Chuan asked.

"Yeah. He said that's how it is in his hometown. Putting a hard-boiled egg on the bed brings good luck."

"We all said that if you get hungry in the middle of the night, you can eat it. Once you're full, your mentality won't collapse so easily. Hahaha."

Deng Chuan said in a deadpan voice, "Maintaining a good state of mind is also a way to maintain good fortune. If a person is frowning all day, how can good things come their way?"

Su Mian asked tentatively, "Does that mean… I should also put a hard-boiled egg on my bed?"

"No. You can put some snacks."

"That would probably just attract ants, sir-"

They both laughed. A classmate who had been studying inside got out of bed and came out to wash up. Seeing Deng Chuan on the phone, the corners of her eyes and brows carrying a faint smile in the night, she was a little surprised and took a few extra glances.

Soon, the lights inside were turned off. Everyone was asleep.

The campus was quiet. The vegetation was gradually beginning to flourish, but for now, there was no sound of insects.

Just then, Su Mian said on the other end, "It's really getting late, babe. You need to sleep."

Deng Chuan said, "Okay. You too."

"Mhm. Good night."

"Good night."

A soft click as the call ended. The world fell completely silent.

Deng Chuan stood before the sinks, remaining still for a while. After a moment, she washed her face and went back to bed.

The next morning, Deng Chuan groggily opened her eyes and heard someone outside say, "It's raining again…"

She listened carefully and, sure enough, heard the pitter-patter of rain.

Spring had truly arrived. Her thoughts were a bit scattered, not yet fully awake.

She got up to wash. Standing outside, she looked down. A few early-rising students were already scattered about, holding umbrellas and heading to the cafeteria. The sky had not yet fully brightened, making the bright colors on the umbrellas appear dim.

After washing up, she walked to the cafeteria. There weren't many people on the path; it was quiet. There was only the monotonous sound of rain hitting her umbrella. Most people were still asleep. The cafeteria had just opened for business. When the steamer lids were lifted, steam billowed out. The soy milk was especially hot, and it was warm to hold in her hands.

While waiting for her soy milk and steamed bun to cool, Deng Chuan silently memorized vocabulary words.

The morning rain brought a bit of dampness. Deng Chuan's shoes were wet, and as she stepped into the classroom, she still felt a bit groggy.

Fortunately, the first class was Xu Wei's.

Xu Wei was dressed with exceptional gentleness today. Her white shirt was made of a soft material, covered by a brown knit cardigan. The sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, and even the folds were beautiful. She wore comfortable trousers, and her long black hair was loosely tied back. Her Martin boots, having walked through the rain and mist, were washed clean and fresh.

Deng Chuan felt that even the fluorescent lights in the classroom had softened with her arrival. She composed herself and managed to return to her usual study mode. By the end of the class, however, a thin layer of sweat had formed on her forehead.

At some point, a throbbing pain had started in her temples. Deng Chuan took a breath and belatedly realized that she seemed to be sick.

Once she took that breath, she felt her body go limp. During the ten-minute break, she saw some classmates resting their heads on their desks to catch up on sleep. Deng Chuan thought to herself, I'll just lie down for a bit, and I'll feel better.

Rarely for her, she rested her head on her desk and unexpectedly dozed off. In a half-dreaming state, she felt waves of cold and heat wash over her. Her head ached, she had no strength, and her eyelids were heavy.

A cool hand touched her head, then pressed against her forehead. She was drowsy and let it happen.

She didn't know how much time had passed. The sounds around her would suddenly recede into the distance, then just as suddenly draw near. Her sleep was hazy and not at all restful.

Deng Chuan woke up to the sound of Xu Wei explaining a problem. She had slept fitfully. In her dream, a voice, neither fast nor slow, had been hovering by her ear. She understood every word it said, but when put together, the meaning was lost to her, and yet it had gone on for a very long time.

She opened her eyes, feeling as if all her energy had been drained away. Her arm was numb from being used as a pillow. She frowned, her head lowered as she took a moment to understand her situation.

Xu Wei was behind her, explaining a problem to a group of boys. They were all focused on her, and no one noticed that Deng Chuan, who had slept through an entire class, had lifted her head. Xu Wei's back was to her, and just as she finished explaining a small part of the question, she turned around as if she had eyes in the back of her head and asked softly, "Feeling better? Do you want to take leave and go back to rest?"

Deng Chuan was still a bit dazed. She raised a hand to shield her eyes. The classroom was too bright; the fluorescent lights hanging high above made her head hurt even more.

She couldn't process Xu Wei's words yet. Her mind was dull, and she couldn't speak.

Seeing no reaction, Xu Wei said again, "I'll approve your leave. Go back and rest."

Deng Chuan kept her head down, not moving.

Xu Wei turned back to the group behind her and instructed, "If there's anything else you don't understand, come find me in the office during evening self-study."

She gathered her things and helped Deng Chuan up. "Can you stand on your own? I'll take you to the school clinic."

Deng Chuan managed to stand. She nodded dazedly, the motion making her dizzy.

Xu Wei seemed worried her legs would give out. She gently held Deng Chuan's arm. Deng Chuan's steps were unsteady, as if she were walking on clouds. It was still raining outside. Xu Wei held an umbrella with one hand and used the other to support her, pulling her close. Deng Chuan had no strength and was practically leaning into her embrace. Even then, she could spare a sliver of her mind to think one single thought: She smells so good.

They finally made it to the school clinic. Her temperature was taken, and medicine was prescribed. The school doctor suggested an IV drip for a faster recovery from the fever. Deng Chuan took the medicine with hot water and lay down in the rest area. Her breath was hot, but her body alternated between cold and hot. She frowned. Xu Wei covered her with a blanket, then placed something else on top of her.

She slept for a long, long time. In her dream, her June was already over. She walked out of the exam hall into the brilliant midsummer sun, which rolled across the lush green canopy of the trees. Xu Wei was standing under that green canopy, waiting for them to come out.

She seemed to be the first in her class to walk up to her. The moment Xu Wei saw her, she smiled. The corners of her lips curved gently and gracefully, as if nothing in the world could stand in her way.

She smiled too, foolishly. She moved closer, looking at her foolishly. She stared until the tips of Xu Wei's ears turned red and she turned her head away, though the smile on her lips remained.

She looked at her reddened ears and leaned in, wanting to say something. But then the crowd surged out, and they were swept up, submerged in a sea of parents and students holding bouquets of flowers.

She watched helplessly as Xu Wei's face was hidden by a bouquet of vibrant, dewy yellow roses. She reached out, wanting to hold her, but her hand grasped at empty air.

Deng Chuan's eyes flew open. She rarely dreamed, and upon waking, she felt an emptiness in her heart. She stared blankly for a long moment before she realized where she was.

She had broken out in a sweat, but she felt much better. She looked down and saw that she was covered with the rest room's blanket, as well as a school uniform jacket.

The clock in the rest room showed that it was already 11:30 in the morning. Deng Chuan pushed herself up. The IV tube had already been removed, leaving a tiny needle mark on the back of her hand.

She got off the bed, and just as she reached the door, she saw Xu Wei walking over with a take-out container.

When Xu Wei saw her, she quickened her pace, subtly shielding her from the wind outside. "How are you? Feeling better?"

"Mm," Deng Chuan's voice was a bit hoarse. "I want to go back to the dorm and sleep."

Xu Wei reached out and touched her forehead, replying in a warm voice, "Okay."

Seeing Deng Chuan holding the school uniform jacket, she said, "The medicine is in the jacket pocket. The instructions are written on the packet. Remember to look at it yourself."

"Mm."

It had stopped raining outside, but the sky was overcast and a cool wind was blowing. Deng Chuan felt a bit cold and huddled closer to Xu Wei.

"Are you cold?"

Deng Chuan didn't answer. She leaned against Xu Wei's shoulder and after a moment, said in a small voice, "My head hurts."

Her tone was soft, her voice slightly hoarse. She sounded pitiful.

Hearing this, Xu Wei seemed to pause for a second before raising a hand and gently putting it around her shoulder.

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