Offense - Chapter 39

Chapter 39

A hand reached up to her waist.

Zhou Yanqian calmly lowered her head and saw Lian Wan's arm wrapped tightly around her waist. It was an unignorable line-the protruding wrist bone, thin and pale, yet very graceful. The dust of the road on her seemed to settle in that moment, like snow under the moonlight, or salt in the quiet night, carrying the dampness of a recent bath, peaceful, landing on her lowered brow.

-A weight settled on her shoulder. Lian Wan leaned in affectionately, pressing against her. There was no sense of force or coercion; she simply watched her intently with her eyes, drawing near, nestling against the side of her face. Before Zhou Yanqian could speak, just as she moved her eyebrows, Lian Wan was like a frightened little puppy, about to pounce and capture her lips. Her breathing was hurried, but the kiss held a sense of cherish.

Zhou Yanqian was momentarily lost in a daze. The moonlight seemed to grow brighter, illuminating the mottled spots on the outer wall with perfect clarity. Lian Wan's nose brushed against her cheek, a barely-there itch. Her breath was very hot, and even her body temperature was on the warmer side. Zhou Yanqian had discovered long ago that while Lian Wan had a cold demeanor, inside, it was as if a cluster of fire was burning. This fire didn't just burn herself; as Zhou Yanqian pressed against her, letting her kiss her, her arm still wrapped tightly around her waist, it transmitted the strength of a burning, young body.

And a powerful, clamoring heartbeat.

Zhou Yanqian relaxed into the undulating kiss and murmured, "There's watermelon in the fridge."

The person behind her gave a deep hum of agreement.

The light in the room was still on, illuminating half of Lian Wan's profile. The light softened her features, making her look gentler than usual. Zhou Yanqian could feel her gaze, could feel her emotions being stirred by her. These intimately connected emotions surged, quietly flooding the night.

She turned and settled into her embrace. It was soft, too. Lian Wan opened her eyes, and that glistening moisture flashed past again. She had become more beautiful. Those traces of passion adorned her, revitalized her, making her into a person closer to the crowd.

Closer to her. This time, it was Zhou Yanqian's turn to close her eyes.

At this hour, it was quiet outside. Occasionally, a balcony would light up, and the shadows of hung-out clothes would hang in rows, projected onto the building's outer brick wall, rising with the moonlight. The scent of laundry detergent drifted through the air. The moon hung, clear and bright, in the sky, and the stars were numerous and brilliant, illuminating the deep blue night.

To Lian Wan's surprise, Zhou Yanqian said, "I used to see skies like this often."

That was when the night was very, very deep, so deep that the city lights gradually sank away, when the headlights of taxis illuminated the fluorescent vests of designated drivers, when all light was taken for granted. The car radio would be playing a late-night Cantonese station. The driver might talk, or might not. Leaning against the car window, Zhou Yanqian could see just such a quiet and clear night sky.

Countless times, she listened to the radio in the car sing:

It is people, it is walls, it is the cold winter, hidden in the eyes;

There are days, there are nights, there are fantasies, unable to wait...*

The taxi drove past the subway entrance, where a homeless man was curled up with his arms wrapped around himself. It drove past a brightly lit convenience store, where the clerk sat beside the oden pot with their chin in their hand. But Zhou Yanqian didn't feel cold, nor did she feel lonely. She was still young, and a fire burned within her, too-the ambition and desire to strive, tempered in the flames, were enough to burn away all fatigue, sleepiness, and drowsiness.

At that time, Zhou Yanqian worked at a fashion studio, doing everything from an assistant handling clothes and jewelry to planning large-scale events. Her life then was full of people coming and going, many beautiful women, beautiful men, glamorous at all hours. But late at night, they inevitably grew tired. Yet under the lights, exhaustion was like the sparkling jewelry they wore, which instead made them more beautiful, more precious.

Later, it was the same for tears, and for pain.

The gorgeous, the ugly-Zhou Yanqian hid this version of herself in the late-night taxis, day after day, firmly believing that the day of harvest would come.

But in such a big city, there were bound to be a few people whose hopes were dashed.

Zhou Yanqian's failure did not arrive like a tidal wave.

First it was sleep, then palpitations, tremors, and finally it became a thin medical report that landed weightlessly in her palm.

That afternoon. Zhou Yanqian sat in the park for a little while with the medical report. On the central lawn of the park, there were children, middle school students having a picnic, and elderly people in wheelchairs. They looked as if they naturally belonged there.

And the passion she thought had burned eternally was, in fact, her life, and it couldn't even win her an admission ticket.

This thought did not bring her pain. That bit of disappointment and unwillingness pressed lightly on her heart, turning into a deeper, heavier desire. In that moment, under the weight of her damaged health, Zhou Yanqian heard her own heart repeatedly saying:

You've given too much, and given yourself too little.

No one is content to leave. Zhou Yanqian submitted her resignation, handed over her work, and packed her luggage in her rented apartment. In the empty room, there were only a few lonely cardboard boxes. It turned out there was so little she could take with her. The feeling of loss was so clear. The sky outside the window was a dreary gray, and this city that Zhou Yanqian had finally grown familiar with became a stranger once more.

"And then?" Lian Wan leaned down and asked.

Zhou Yanqian gently nudged her shoulder. "Then I just packed my things and went back to my hometown."

The light was very bright. Lian Wan saw it clearly. For a moment, her eyes held a dazed look.

The journey back was not as long as she had imagined. From the plane to the train, then to the sparse bus, and the motorcycles soliciting passengers at the intersection. Her parents had their own quiet life. Her old home was empty, so she cleaned it up and moved in.

The house had been empty for a long time. The furniture in the living room was covered in a thick layer of dust. The sealed wardrobe, from which she pulled out old discs and magazines.

There were no cleaning companies here. She was busy for several days, and she took a large bag of the things she had sorted out and threw it into the designated garbage truck at the entrance of the old residential complex.

The garbage truck was parked at the entrance. It smelled quite strong. It was a three-wheeled vehicle she hadn't seen in a long time, its engine sputtering. After throwing out the trash, Zhou Yanqian stood there and watched it drive away. The sky darkened, and the sorrow of those discarded objects from the past suddenly enveloped her.

If she hadn't come back... if she had never walked those roads, been to vast places, if, if she could go back to how things were...

Slowly, she walked back from downstairs, feeling a belated loneliness she had never experienced before.

This loneliness made it impossible for her to truly stop.

She added some money and bought the storefront on the ground floor. She redecorated, painted the walls, and installed rows of incandescent lights and shelves. When the lights came on, it was like a spring breeze brushing past her side. Through the transparent, bright glass door, she could see the passing pedestrians at a glance.

And she could also see the special person who would push the door open, cautiously size up the cash register, retract their gaze before she noticed, and only ever buy a single bottle of mineral water each time.

Zhou Yanqian wouldn't tell her these things.

She just looked at Lian Wan and smiled, her bare shoulder directly in the path of the air conditioner's vent. It made Lian Wan unable to resist grabbing her ankle and pulling it further under the covers.

The other woman spoke so casually that it made her want to ask more, but she didn't know where to begin.

Zhou Yanqian looked at her solemn brow and couldn't help but curve her lips. She was also surprisingly speechless. In the end, she could only crook a finger and pull her into the bedding as well.

Lian Wan obediently lay down in the crook of her arm.

The same moonlit night, the same synchronized time. Zhou Yanqian held Lian Wan, feeling the warmth of her body transfer over. Contentment enveloped her, making her like a cat that had let down its guard, able to carefully groom its own fur. She whispered softly, "There's nothing more. I've told you everything. There's nothing left."

The woman's voice was soft, and it was impossible to tell if it held disappointment or frankness. "My circumstances aren't as good as you imagine. It's not too late for you to regret this now."

"I don't regret it." Lian Wan said it the moment the words were out.

As if worried her words were too light, she took Zhou Yanqian's hand and placed it on her own face.

"I don't regret it."

Saying such things was too solemn, too unnatural. For both of them. But that moving, glistening moisture was brewing in Lian Wan's eyes again, carrying a long-absent sourness. The light fell into her eyes, shimmering, shimmering again, as if two tiny moons had fallen in. Her ears were bright red, and the expression on her face was now both that of a young girl and a woman. Zhou Yanqian stared at her, and was pulled closer and closer into a full embrace.

"Let's not talk about 'circumstances' between us," she said.

For the first time, the passive one actively burrowed into her arms, holding her tightly.

"I was actually very scared of you telling me too much before," Lian Wan said very slowly, very softly, as if afraid of disturbing something. "Afraid that if you said too much, you'd find out I'm not what you imagined. I don't know why you like me. But I know that I like you-I love you."

Lian Wan hugged her, drawing close to the woman's chest. The deepest haven of tenderness was hidden there.

She responded with a devout whisper, "So, I will definitely not regret it, and I will definitely be good to you."

Her breath was so close, her heartbeat clamoring. Zhou Yanqian could hear her shyness and her frankness, her hesitation and her boldness. That cluster of fire burned over again. Zhou Yanqian wrapped her arms around her neck, as if the lost persistence and loneliness had also received an echo.

She didn't want her to approach her; it was she who wanted her to come close.

She wanted to give, to provide, and also to receive.

Everything was as she wished. So, as a reward, she opened up everything to her.

Zhou Yanqian took her hand and placed it gently on her own neck. She guided Lian Wan's fingertips over the fine, blue veins. Time seemed to pass very, very slowly. Lian Wan looked at her deeply, at her furrowed brow, at the expression of anticipation that was almost unbearable, and felt an impatient heat rise from her fingertips to the skin they touched.

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