BSS - Chapter 139

Chapter 139

"Weiwei" was a name Xu Wei hadn't heard in a very long time.

The last time she'd heard it was in Chaoshan, several years ago, in a dream.

Even everything that had happened today, Deng Chuan calling her name like this, felt like a dream.

If this was a dream, she would rather not wake up. Or perhaps, if a waking dream could be considered reality, then she wished this long summer could continue on forever.

Xu Wei's thoughts ran wild, her mind wandering aimlessly for once, echoing emptily in the silence that filled the living room and the summer air. She was dazed for a couple of seconds before managing to compose herself. She raised a hand, pinched the Little Friend's cheek, and feigned nonchalance as she chided, "Are you taking advantage of me?"

"How could I?" Deng Chuan smiled, leaning in to kiss her and murmuring nonsensically, "I love you."

She said "I love you" again, so naturally, so matter-of-factly. Xu Wei's heart softened in the silence, and her lips were easily captured.

Along with the kiss came Deng Chuan's face, and her long hair, which she had combed back with her fingers, fell around Xu Wei. It tickled, hanging precariously, like a curtain shielding their intertwined lips, allowing them to hide behind it and share a wet kiss.

The Little Friend's kisses were no longer clumsy or reckless. She knew all of Xu Wei's preferences, setting a gentle, lingering pace. Her lips were soft and hot, almost melting Xu Wei away.

Lost in such a kiss, Xu Wei felt as if she had fallen into melted buttercream frosting. Everything was hot, sweet, and moist. Deng Chuan reached out to cup her face, caressing it gently, mesmerized.

The air conditioning wasn't on in the room; only a fan facing them was blowing. The oscillating cool breeze felt like a mere decoration. Xu Wei panted softly, feeling sweat bead on her back. Her clothes stuck to her skin, so light they felt nonexistent.

But Xu Wei could feel Deng Chuan's hand on her face. She was stroking her cheek, her fingertips warm. Everything was hot. On this ordinary yet extraordinary sweltering afternoon, they had each made a momentous decision. Deng Chuan, perhaps acting on pure sincerity and passion alone, might not yet realize how their future destinies would be altered, but Xu Wei already could.

Xu Wei even thought in a daze, Who needs forever? Forever is right here, right now.

She closed her eyes and threw herself into a new, eternal kiss.

Deng Chuan looked down at Xu Wei's expression. She saw her brows furrowed slightly, a bead of sweat rolling down from her temple. Xu Wei's breathing rose and fell, carrying her like an ocean wave. Deng Chuan kissed her, captivated, until she could truly feel the tide-like warmth and moisture in Xu Wei's breath, which tasted salty. Leaning closer, Deng Chuan realized the moisture was coming from the corners of Xu Wei's eyes.

Was Xu Wei crying? Maybe, maybe not. She kept her eyes quietly closed as crystalline teardrops seeped out, tracing paths like snow melting in a spring breeze down her fair face. A crying Xu Wei looked exceptionally fragile, yet exceptionally vivid. So Deng Chuan brushed her face with firm gentleness, calling her name in a low voice, "Weiwei... Weiwei..." Her fingertips were wet with Xu Wei's tears. "Don't cry, don't cry..."

For a fleeting moment, Xu Wei truly thought she had returned to the midsummer of her seventeenth year. Outside, the cicadas droned noisily. The single bed was a bit cramped for two people. On top of her was the first person she had ever loved with all her heart. Perhaps she had cried back then, too, and someone had stroked her face just like this, coaxing her not to cry.

But it was only for a moment. Xu Wei quickly came back to her senses. Deng Chuan was still kissing her with such firm gentleness, making Xu Wei feel as if she had always been by her side, as if she had never been far away. The past year of separation gradually faded. Xu Wei raised her hands to wrap them around Deng Chuan's neck, thinking to herself.

If only I had met her from the very beginning.

When Deng Chuan met her, her youth had just begun. Her feelings were a blank slate, never before set alight. So Xu Wei had the good fortune to be the one to fill that blankness. Although dwelling on past relationships was a meaningless exercise in love, Xu Wei wanted Deng Chuan to be the one to fill her blankness, too.

As Xu Wei thought this, she followed the rhythm of Deng Chuan's kisses, her fingertips twisting several times in her long hair. Her fingers tangled in the strong, fine strands, so strong they seemed inseparable. Then, Xu Wei thought naively, it's like forging a bond that will never let us part. She wanted to hold on tight to Deng Chuan, this Little Friend who professed her love, who had appeared in her life and called her Weiwei once more.

Her new family.

The ancients often used black hair to represent the years of one's youth—"black silk at dawn, white snow at dusk." But Xu Wei wanted to grasp this black hair and turn it into a lock against the passage of time, so that they would never, ever change.

Deng Chuan's hair was being pulled, but she didn't mind at all, pressing against Xu Wei's lips with a mischievous sort of smile. Her body was hot; Xu Wei could feel it. In the middle of summer, the two of them were pressed together, working up a sweat. Deng Chuan lowered her head, and beads of sweat trickled down from her forehead, over the straight bridge of her nose, and into the hollow of Xu Wei's collarbone.

---

They stayed like that until the sky began to darken. There might have been a beautiful sunset outside, but neither of them cared. Finally, Xu Wei's phone rang, vibrating on the coffee table. With her eyes still closed, Xu Wei patted Deng Chuan's hand, signaling for her to get it.

Xu Wei answered the phone. She was nestled lazily in Deng Chuan's arms, looking drained of energy, but her voice was perfectly normal—as coolly restrained and polite as ever.

The person on the other end spoke, and Xu Wei listened without a word. The room fell silent for a moment. The sight of Xu Wei frowning while on the phone in her arms was so beautiful that Deng Chuan couldn't resist reaching out to touch her chin.

Xu Wei looked up at her, saw the bored, expectant look on the Little Friend's face, and reassuringly clasped the hand that was fiddling with her chin, giving her a small smile.

The Little Friend obediently held her, resting her cheek on Xu Wei's shoulder and tilting her head to listen to the phone call.

Xu Wei was on the phone for quite a while. Deng Chuan gathered that it was about choosing a data processing method for a thesis, and there seemed to be a disagreement. As Xu Wei spoke, her expression grew more serious. While still talking, she straightened up from Deng Chuan's embrace and reached for the tablet that was also on the coffee table.

Deng Chuan saw what she was doing and, a step ahead of her, placed the tablet in her hand.

The person on the other end was still chattering away, but Xu Wei became unhurried. She freed a hand to give Deng Chuan's eagerly watching face a good squeeze before pressing the tablet's power button and starting to search for the required paper.

While Xu Wei made her call nestled in her arms, Deng Chuan held her own phone, arranging a meeting time with her busy parents in their family's WeChat group. She didn't explain where she had been last night and all day, only stating solemnly that she had something to discuss with them.

Lao Deng sent a panda head sticker with a line of text: "An indescribable feeling.jpg".

Her mom was quite agreeable. She said okay, but she was on duty tonight, so they should meet tomorrow evening. She also told Lao Deng to book a restaurant, figuring it had been a long time since the family had eaten a meal together.

While Tang Lijuan was typing, Lao Deng sent a few more stickers, but Deng Chuan was busy chatting with her mom, who was now asking if she'd had lunch. Neither of them paid any attention to what he sent.

So Lao Deng dejectedly faded into the background of the three-person group chat. Only after Tang Lijuan had arranged everything did he pop up with a "Yes, ma'am."

Xu Wei finally finished her call. Leaning into Deng Chuan's embrace, she saw a bit of the chat history in Deng Chuan's family group. Contrary to her usual behavior, after Deng Chuan proposed the major decision of coming out, Xu Wei didn't offer any advice like she usually did when Deng Chuan made a decision. For one, her own experience hadn't been successful. For another, Teacher Xu was a little shy and apprehensive. She even felt a long-forgotten nervousness, so tense her limbs felt stiff. The more Xu Wei tried not to care, the more she did. Compared to her, Deng Chuan was the calm one.

With these thoughts, Xu Wei uncomfortably tucked her long hair behind her ear and watched in silence.

It wasn't until Tang Lijuan finished asking about lunch and moved on to dinner plans that she leaned close to Deng Chuan's face and asked in a tiny voice, "What do you want to eat tonight?"

Deng Chuan, typing a reply to her mom, also kept her voice very low. "What do you want to eat?"

Her hand moved, sliding down from Xu Wei's shoulder to wrap more intimately around her waist. "Should we eat at home, or go out?"

"Let's eat at home," Xu Wei said. "You've been eating sandwiches for so long, don't you want some stir-fried dishes?"

"Yes, yes." The Little Friend's head bobbed on her shoulder. "I've been dreaming of it. I want mapo tofu, I want maoxuewang, I want pickled fish."

"Then let's eat," Xu Wei said, turning to pull at her cheek, a smile in her voice. "Eat your fill. You'll need your strength for the road ahead."

Deng Chuan held her and said seriously, "You have to have faith in me."

The Little Friend's voice was steady, her tone as patient as if she were coaxing a child. Ironically, this made Xu Wei realize her own nervousness and panic. Deng Chuan was still holding her hand, her palm very warm, making Xu Wei's just-cooled body feel like it was about to sweat again.

Flustered, Xu Wei pushed against Deng Chuan's approaching shoulder. "You're all sweaty. Go take a shower. I'll order the food."

Deng Chuan saw her embarrassment and said deliberately, "Can't we shower together?"

Before the words were even out of her mouth, the shy and nervous Teacher Xu immediately stood up. As if afraid Deng Chuan would actually do something, she quickly pulled the fallen strap of her nightgown back onto her shoulder and walked toward the bedroom, tossing back a sentence: "I'll run the water for you. Have a good soak and clear out the viruses in your head."

Deng Chuan caught up to her in a few quick strides, clinging to her and rubbing against her cheek. "I'm dirty, you're dirty, let's wash together..."

In return, she received a light rap on the forehead from Xu Wei.

---

In the end, they didn't shower together. But upon learning that her parents wouldn't be home that night, Deng Chuan logically spent another night at Xu Wei's place. Unlike the day before, she woke up exceptionally early the next morning. The sky was just beginning to lighten, the room was still dim, and everything was quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner.

Xu Wei was curled up in her arms, her arms around Deng Chuan's waist, sleeping soundly.

Deng Chuan was a good sleeper and rarely woke up this early.

She knew why. She was nervous. Tonight, she was going to lay her cards on the table with her family.

Xu Wei lay in her arms, sleeping peacefully. Deng Chuan stared at her for a long while in the dimness. The room was dark, and she could only make out the faint outline of Xu Wei's face, like the faint, pure moonlight outside where night met dawn.

But her breathing was real. Xu Wei's breath ghosted across her neck, as warm as a hand resting there. Deng Chuan's soul was soothed by this familiar scent. She buried her face near Xu Wei's ear and quietly smelled her long hair. The familiar fragrance of the same brand of shampoo and body wash surrounded them.

In quiet moments, the mind becomes exceptionally active, especially for someone like Deng Chuan, who had slept soundly all night and felt particularly at ease in this familiar environment. She lowered her head and nuzzled Xu Wei's cheek with the tip of her nose. She felt Xu Wei, half-asleep, give her a reassuring kiss before snuggling deeper into her embrace.

Deng Chuan stretched out her arm, holding Xu Wei tighter. She held Xu Wei and let her thoughts wander in the silence. She had slept very well last night, without a single dream. This meant that subconsciously, her mind was at ease. It had always been the case that as long as she kept her cool, everything would go smoothly. So today would be smooth, too. Lao Deng had booked a Western restaurant. Knives and forks were inherently a bit dangerous, but it was a public place. If the conversation went south, Lao Deng, being conscious of his public image, probably wouldn't brandish a knife at her.

Besides, Tang Lijuan would be there.

Deng Chuan immediately thought of all the times Lao Deng had been put in his place by her mom, and she couldn't help but smile.

Should she tell her Little Aunt first? Ever since she was young, Deng Chuan had always trusted her Little Aunt, telling her everything. But when it came to matters concerning Xu Wei, she had never mentioned a thing.

Whether it was out of fear of disappointment or shyness was a matter of opinion. The thought made Deng Chuan's heart skip a beat.

That's not right, she thought. You're about to confess to your parents, so there's no reason to worry about disappointment or shyness anymore. So why not tell Little Aunt?

Deng Chuan thought that perhaps she needed a rehearsal before the main event.

Nervousness and excitement ignited in Deng Chuan's heart, making her momentarily forget the time. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and started messaging her Little Aunt.

Deng Chuan carefully typed: Little Aunt, there's something I'd like to ask your opinion on.

For some reason, her Little Aunt was also awake and replied quickly: What is it?

Deng Chuan realized this and looked at the time at the top of the screen in surprise: Little Aunt, are you having trouble sleeping?

Little Aunt sent a sighing soybean emoji: Getting old. The AC is broken, it's too hot to sleep.

Deng Chuan immediately offered a plan: Book a repairman on an app first, then call customer service when it's light out. Double insurance, that way the repairman will come faster.

Little Aunt sent back a cat-patting-head emoji. After they exchanged a few more stickers, she said: Let's get to the point. What's up? What's so important that you're up at the crack of dawn to ask my advice?

Deng Chuan typed and deleted several times before finally sending: I'm in a relationship.

Little Aunt immediately replied with a question mark. Then her status changed to "typing..."

Deng Chuan sent another message: With a girlfriend.

Little Aunt, very uncharacteristically, replied with a period after the question mark.

Deng Chuan continued: My girlfriend is eight years older than me. She was my high school math teacher. But not for long, she's going to apply for a PhD at P University and study in Beijing with me. She's a wonderful person and has sacrificed a lot for me. I want to give her a stable future and come out to my family.

This time, Little Aunt didn't reply with punctuation. Her "typing..." status remained for a long time. Through the screen, Deng Chuan could sense her complicated feelings.

Little Aunt typed for a while before replying: Well, of course I don't have any opinion on your sexual orientation. As long as you're happy, that's enough.

A moment later, another message came through: As for coming out to your family, I support you even more. Deng Chuan, when you're young, you should do things you might not do when you're older. I don't know your girlfriend, and I don't know her well enough, but I'm certain of your unwavering feelings.

Little Aunt said: Of course, love is between two people. But I will always be on your side, unconditionally, so I'm only looking at you. If you can gain something from this love, or remember something from it, even if it's one-sided, those things will become precious experiences in your life later on. You'll come to realize that society is maintained by people, but it's actually a cold, unfeeling product. I often say that time flies. In the blink of an eye, you've grown up and are even in a relationship now. You'll soon be starting work, learning to cooperate with colleagues, and turning your knowledge into output. Life then won't be as simple as just studying in school. When that time comes, you'll understand just how precious it is to have, or to remember, the feelings you have right now.

Based on the principle of quitting while you're ahead and not lecturing a young person, Little Aunt concluded: Love should make you a better person. If you feel this love starting to drag you down, affecting your confidence, making you sad or dispirited, you must think carefully about whether that kind of love conflicts with the unwavering feelings you have for your girlfriend right now.

Deng Chuan read it for a long while before replying: Okay. No matter what my family says, after I tell them, I'm going to Beijing to find an internship.

Little Aunt sent three thumbs-up emojis.

Having received affirmation, the corners of Deng Chuan's lips curled up involuntarily. She held her phone and typed a whiny message to her Little Aunt: My dad booked a Western restaurant. I'm so scared he's going to brandish a knife at me tonight.

Little Aunt sent a string of "hahahas" and then said, Don't be afraid. If worst comes to worst, just call me. I'll come rescue you and get you out of there.

Deng Chuan grinned so wide her eyes disappeared: Okay!

The movement of her arm as she typed might have woken Xu Wei. Deng Chuan chatted a bit more with her Little Aunt. As the room gradually brightened, Xu Wei suddenly tugged on her collar. Deng Chuan looked down and saw her looking up at her.

"What's wrong?" Xu Wei asked in a small voice, her eyes open as she snuggled in her arms.

Seeing Xu Wei like this stirred a protective instinct deep within Deng Chuan. Remembering her Little Aunt's words, Deng Chuan tossed her phone aside, lowered her head, cupped Xu Wei's face, and gave her a firm kiss on the lips.

Xu Wei let her kiss her, watching her without blinking.

"Weiwei," Deng Chuan called her name softly and proudly. The intimacy brought by the repeated syllable rolling between her lips and teeth was exactly as Xu Wei had hoped.

As if channeling the latent hope in Xu Wei's consciousness, Deng Chuan lowered her head, looked earnestly into her eyes, and said solemnly, "I will be unwavering for you. I don't regret it, and I will never back down."

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