BSS - Chapter 126

Chapter 126

With that thought, Xu Wei slowly got out of bed, and just as slowly took a shower, carefully washing away the faint stickiness and sweat from her body. Wiping her hair, she walked out of the bathroom.

She stood in place for a moment, thinking, then pulled off the bedsheet and tossed it into the washing machine along with her dirty clothes.

Walking out of the bedroom, the red roses on the dining table were truly eye-catching. Seeing Zhou Liu and Juzi snuggled together asleep on the sofa, Xu Wei's mood improved even more. She was even in the leisurely mood to brew herself a pot of herbal tea before sitting down gracefully on the sofa. She stroked each of the two cats' heads before finally preparing to reply to Deng Chuan's messages, which had since gone silent.

In reality, from waking up to finishing her shower, only about half an hour had passed. But as Xu Wei typed, an unwarranted sense of urgency welled up. She inexplicably found herself empathizing with Deng Chuan on the other end, feeling that the kid must be burning with anxiety right now, clutching her phone, pitifully waiting for her reply.

The more she thought about it, the more pitiful it seemed, and Xu Wei's heart softened again. She started to feel that dragging it out for so long was simply too cruel to the kid. She didn't want to tease her anymore, so she sent a calm and simple reply after Deng Chuan's long essay: I'm not angry.

The other side immediately showed "typing…"

Xu Wei's typing hands paused as she waited to see what message Deng Chuan would send. But the status indicator flickered on and off, and after waiting for a long time, not a single word appeared in the chat box from the other side.

Xu Wei immediately pictured Deng Chuan holding her phone, hesitating, deleting and rewriting her words. She could even imagine Deng Chuan's slightly furrowed brow, her expression showing she was completely preoccupied with Xu Wei's feelings.

How familiar it was, making Xu Wei feel cherished and loved.

Cherished, treasured, and held in someone's heart with their entire being. Deng Chuan's focused gaze was what had first made Xu Wei's heart flutter. In the short span of a year, that eighteen-year-old kid from back then had grown up at a rapid pace, but the way she looked at Xu Wei had never changed.

After Deng Chuan went abroad, Xu Wei would sometimes wake up from a dream in the middle of the night, grab her phone, and look at the photos Deng Chuan had sent across the time difference. Occasionally, she would feel a sense of wistful loss when looking at the present-day Deng Chuan. The Deng Chuan in the photos smiled brightly under the Mediterranean sun. She had become more cheerful, learning how to converse, socialize, and be tactful, slowly transforming her mindset through her studies.

Faced with this Deng Chuan, Xu Wei couldn't quite describe her feelings. Deng Chuan was becoming more and more like an adult. Xu Wei knew clearly that she was beginning to understand some of life's harsher truths. She was reluctant and felt helpless, yet perhaps she also held a contradictory sense of anticipation.

It was a very complex feeling, enough to make Xu Wei have a short dream in the dead of night.

But then again, perhaps it wasn't complicated at all. When Xu Wei woke up in the daytime and faced her, Deng Chuan was once again that eighteen-year-old kid from the very beginning.

She still thought of her constantly. Her focus on her was no different from the start.

There was no way Xu Wei could not soften her heart for a Deng Chuan like this.

But for an adult, this kind of soft-heartedness was actually very dangerous. Xu Wei prided herself on being calm enough to handle most of the difficulties in their relationship, or most of the confusion in Deng Chuan's process of growing up. Yet it was this very same Xu Wei who, because she felt Deng Chuan's sincere and untainted love for her, had personally handed over the weights for the emotional scale in her heart to the other person.

The feeling of giving was both dangerous and intoxicating, just like love.

Xu Wei waited for a long time before Deng Chuan finally sent another long block of text, but this time it wasn't a self-criticism or reflection. Xu Wei read it carefully, and in it, she saw a glimpse of the seventeen-year-old Deng Chuan who had asked her for a math review plan in the office.

Deng Chuan wrote: I'm not apologizing just for this one thing. These past few days, I've been thinking about what kind of person I want to become, for your sake and for my own, and in what direction I should put my efforts. But maybe I was too hasty. My abilities are still insufficient, and my ideas are too naive and self-centered. Like what happened today, I might have acted without considering your opinion beforehand. I know you did it because you love me, but I might have been too presumptuous.

Deng Chuan wrote: That's not like an adult. I'm sorry. Baby.

Deng Chuan was probably still typing, but Xu Wei didn't want to say anything more. She gave up waiting for more messages and gave up replying. Instead, she immediately dialed Deng Chuan's number.

The call connected quickly. At first, neither of them spoke; there was only the sound of their soft breathing over the line.

In the end, it was Xu Wei who spoke first. Her tone was a little helpless, yet tinged with a gentle smile. "My little fool, what on earth are you mulling over all day long?"

Without waiting for Deng Chuan's reply, she continued, "I read everything you sent. It was very well-written… Don't write it again."

Xu Wei's voice sounded particularly lighthearted. Deng Chuan couldn't help but bite her lip as she heard Xu Wei say, "Did you hear what I said?"

She could only give a muffled "Mm."

It was early morning in the UK, and the surroundings were very quiet. Deng Chuan leaned against the bay window, staring at the red leaves falling outside as she listened to Xu Wei speak.

Xu Wei might have realized it was morning on her end. "Have you eaten?"

"I drank some milk," Deng Chuan said.

"How did you sleep last night?"

Many images immediately surfaced in the kid's mind, and she unconsciously bit her lower lip again.

Deng Chuan hesitated, but Xu Wei's relaxed tone made her relax a little as well. She had stayed up late last night, had that kind of phone call, and was unsettled by many factors. Biting her lip, Deng Chuan answered honestly, "So-so."

"Do you have anything to do this morning? You're up so early."

"Couldn't sleep," Deng Chuan said. "Um…"

The diversionary tactic was ineffective; the kid brought the topic back around. Xu Wei softened her voice. "Alright… Seeing how earnestly you're admitting your mistake, I just fell asleep, I didn't pass out from anger." She even let out a small laugh. "You don't need to overthink it. I'm an adult, of course I know what I'm doing. Besides, was there anything wrong with what happened?"

"Um…"

"Deng Chuan," Xu Wei said, "I'm not old-fashioned, nor am I someone who gets flustered at the mention of sex. The fact that I agreed to your request because I love you is not something you need to feel guilty about. It's simply because I love you. And there was nothing wrong with what we did."

"Alright." The kid didn't say anything, and Xu Wei didn't know if she was listening. Xu Wei took a breath, really not wanting to continue this topic. "Let's not talk in circles anymore. Neither of us did anything wrong. You're not allowed to think about it anymore."

"But…" Deng Chuan said. After so much independent thought and determination, she was finally turning to her Teacher Xu for help again. She chose her words carefully. "Um… It's not wrong, and of course I was very happy. But I also feel… like it's a bit…"

"What?" Xu Wei asked her.

"It feels a bit like the guilt of having done something wrong."

"Guilt?"

"Yeah."

Xu Wei laughed softly. "It's not that you feel you're no longer pure and that's why you feel guilty, is it?"

"Ah… huh?" Deng Chuan was stunned for a moment. "Maybe a little… I guess."

The moment the word "guilt" was mentioned, Xu Wei finally decided to address this issue seriously with Deng Chuan. "Do you feel it was out of line, or that it was wrong?"

"Um… maybe… out of line," Deng Chuan said. "Like we did something that people don't normally do."

"Something they don't do, or something they shouldn't do?" Xu Wei pressed.

The kid's confused voice came through the line. "I don't know either…"

"Deng Chuan," Xu Wei said, taking a light breath. "Alright, maybe this is my fault too. I didn't teach you this… Perhaps what I'm about to say isn't entirely accurate, but East Asian men always hope for women to remain pure, which has given rise to a culture of shame… Mainstream public opinion also tends to be conservative, but I want you to understand that desire is not shameful."

"Of course, this isn't to say that restraint is wrong, nor is it to encourage indulgence. As long as it's within the boundaries of public order and good customs and doesn't affect others, that's the absolute bottom line."

"What we did didn't affect anyone," Xu Wei said frankly. "And we were both quite happy…"

"Also, as for that whole growing up thing, just let it happen naturally. I believe in you. You're not allowed to dwell on these things anymore. Just focus on what you should be doing right now, do you understand?" Xu Wei said finally, adding, "Be good."

"I understand." Xu Wei was satisfied to hear the kid's obedient reply.

There was a moment of silence on the phone, then Deng Chuan said softly, "I really want to hug you right now."

Sigh. Teacher Xu, who had been so serious just a moment ago, couldn't help but sigh. She also really wanted to hug this clever, foolish child.

"Alright," Teacher Xu said, sighing before mustering her spirits. "Go wash your face properly, and then do what you need to do."

The call wasn't disconnected. Xu Wei heard the sound of Deng Chuan turning on the faucet. While the kid was diligently washing her face on the other end, she stood up and went to the kitchen to wash an apple for herself.

Juzi and Zhou Liu were woken by her movement. They groggily followed at her heels and then followed her back.

Xu Wei took a bite of the apple. Deng Chuan sat down at her desk.

Just like usual, the two of them quietly and tacitly kept each other company, each doing their own thing.

Before she knew it, evening arrived. The light in the living room dimmed. Xu Wei looked up from her tablet, walked to the hallway, and flicked on the light.

Through her headset came the sizzle of oil as Deng Chuan fried an egg in her kitchen. Only then did Xu Wei belatedly realize she was hungry. Just as she was thinking about what to eat for dinner, the doorbell suddenly rang.

She was a little puzzled. Peeking carefully through the peephole, she saw a young man in a delivery uniform and a baseball cap standing outside.

Xu Wei opened the door. The delivery man handed over a cake box he was carrying. "Miss Xu?"

Xu Wei accepted the cake, thanked him, and closed the door again. Through her headset, Deng Chuan was still sizzling her egg, not saying a word.

The sky had completely darkened. Looking out from the balcony, the residential complex was brightly lit, bustling with the sounds of people, the clanging of spatulas against woks, and the aroma of cooking, all quietly diffusing into the settling night.

Xu Wei held the cake, its origin clear in her mind, letting the colorful ribbon tied around the box dig into her fingers. She stood quietly on the balcony for a while.

The autumn wind was a bit chilly. In the deepening night, Xu Wei watched the lights and listened to the clamor of human voices, unable to articulate what she was thinking.

Thankfully, headsets were such a great invention. The words Deng Chuan spoke from nine thousand kilometers away could land right in Xu Wei's ear.

"Happy birthday." Deng Chuan's voice was very, very light, as if it had drifted over on the wind, landing in Xu Wei's ear, right next to her heart. "Offering all my love, I wish for my baby to be happy forever."

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