The Art of Teasing - Chapter 60

Chapter 60

Wen Zhengyu wanted to know more about her mother. Lately she'd been visiting her maternal grandparents' house frequently, and now this weekend she was going to a barbecue with Lian Xin and the others. If relations between the Wen and Lian families were good, that wouldn't matter. But the problem was, contact between the two families had been cut off. She had been raised single-handedly by Old Master Wen, and now Old Master Wen had only her, this one granddaughter, by his side. Her maternal grandparents were blood relatives, and they had lost their daughter. She wanted to do her part to be filial to them on her mother's behalf. But Grandfather was also her own grandfather, the one who had raised her with his own hands. If her visits to her maternal grandparents upset Grandfather, that would be very wrong.

Earlier, while Madam Wen Shishu had been around, Old Master Wen had company, and it hadn't mattered that she was often away. Now that Madam Wen Shishu had gone back, she worried the old master would be lonely, so she kept him company at home.

Old Master Wen let out a very surprised "Hey," and asked her: "No visit to your maternal grandparents' place today?"

The moment Wen Zhengyu heard that "Hey" from Old Master Wen, she knew he really was unhappy—he was even getting a little sour about it. Old Master Wen was a reasonable man, but some aspects of a person are simply unreasonable at times. Just as her cousins were also the old master's own maternal grandsons, if he treated them better than he treated her, she would definitely throw a tantrum at him later. She answered honestly: "I was worried you'd be unhappy."

Old Master Wen asked her: "Then if I really am unhappy, what will you do?"

Wen Zhengyu thought it over and said: "They are after all my maternal grandparents. I still have to keep up the visits. I'll just go a little less often, only for holidays or when something comes up." She looked at Old Master Wen and asked: "Getting sour about it, are we?"

Old Master Wen glared at her. "As if I could get sour."

Still claiming he wasn't sour—such a stubborn mouth. She said: "Then I'll call Lian Xin and tell him I've got something on this weekend and can't go to the barbecue."

Old Master Wen shot her a disapproving sidelong glance. He said: "It's good for siblings to keep in touch. Only by keeping in touch do you stay close. If you don't, no matter how close the relationship, it will drift apart."

Wen Zhengyu then asked Old Master Wen what he had planned for the weekend.

Old Master Wen said someone had invited him over the weekend to appraise some calligraphy and paintings. He added: "I was thinking you could come with me if you're free. I wonder… you've met Old Sun's grandson before, right? He's asked about you several times when he's seen me, begging me to bring you along. He says he's called you, and you've turned him down loads of times." His granddaughter was outstanding in every way, it was just that her personality was a bit too solitary. Barely two people could get close to her—to be precise, only that Ye girl, that sticky toffee. He and her grandmother hadn't taken her out any less when she was young, and he had no idea how she'd ended up with this kind of temperament.

Wen Zhengyu played dumb. "Which one?"

Old Master Wen knew perfectly well that his granddaughter had a meticulous mind—she'd never forget someone after meeting them twice, there was no way she didn't know who it was. Saying that just meant the kid had no chance. He thought the kid was quite decent, and Old Sun had come to him about it time and again, but if his granddaughter didn't fancy him, there was nothing he could do. He wasn't the slightest bit anxious about the grandson-in-law business; he was only worried that the grandson-in-law his granddaughter found would be no good, and she'd end up suffering hardship and misery. In the old days you needed a male heir to keep the household standing. But looking at the way his family was now, it was the daughters and granddaughters who had propped the household up, and even among his younger brother's sons and grandsons, the most promising was none other than Wen Li. He had long since figured it out: so long as the child lived well, it didn't matter whether she started a family or not. Take his daughter-in-law, for instance—what a fine girl. If it hadn't been for that worthless son of his, she wouldn't have passed away so young. Had she lived to now, she'd be no less than any of her brothers. With a biological mother to look after her, his granddaughter wouldn't have had to struggle the way she did now.

Old Master Wen said to Wen Zhengyu: "It's actually good if you go spend more time at your maternal grandparents' place. They have it hard too." The Lian family, afraid of affecting the child, had endured it for over twenty years, and in the end they didn't even demand his son's life. They let that no-good wretch escape abroad whole and intact, and he was content.

Wen Zhengyu saw the old master suddenly looking quite rueful and said: "What are you thinking about? You, old man, didn't have it easy raising me either. I still remember that time I got seriously ill and ended up in the hospital—you and Grandma stayed up all night by my bedside, watching over me." When she was ill back then, she always had nightmares after falling asleep, and she was terribly frightened. Grandfather, seeing she couldn't sleep peacefully, kept holding her hand the whole time; Grandmother placed a towel on her forehead to cool her fever, and whenever the towel lost its chill, she'd soak it in cold water again, wring it out, and put it back on her. Every time she opened her eyes she could see them there at her side.

Old Master Wen scolded her: "You remember things from when you were just a tiny speck."

Wen Zhengyu said: "I wasn't that small. By then I was already in preschool."

Old Master Wen said: "When you were little your health wasn't good. We spent several years nursing you back, and took you out to exercise every day. That's how you got better."

Wen Zhengyu laughed. "To get me to walk more, you made a point of tempting me with sugar figurines, which gave me cavities when I was small. And I still haven't broken the habit of loving sweets."

Old Master Wen said: "That was you being greedy. You can't put the blame on me and your grandmother."

Wen Zhengyu laughed. "My sweet tooth is something I get from you. It really is your fault."

Old Master Wen said: "Your grandmother loved sweets too." Making it clear he wasn't shouldering this blame alone.

Wen Zhengyu's shoulders shook with laughter.

Old Master Wen's old face couldn't hold up, so he shooed her upstairs to rest.

On Saturday, Lian Xin drove to the front gate of the Wen residence to pick up Wen Zhengyu.

Because it was Lian Xin picking her up, Wen Zhengyu didn't even bring Wen Jing—just took her shoulder bag and got into Lian Xin's car. In the front passenger seat sat Lian Xin's wife, and in the back seat sat Lian Xin's ten-year-old son, Lian Zhenxing.

The boy scooted further in, leaving Wen Zhengyu plenty of room, and called out: "Hello, cousin-aunt."

Wen Zhengyu tousled Lian Zhenxing's head and replied: "Hello, Zhenxing." She got into the car and greeted her cousin's wife.

Lian Xin asked: "Did you bring a partner? Where should I pick them up?"

Wen Zhengyu said: "Just me, no partner yet."

Lian Xin grinned. "Drag along someone you're considering dating, even just on a temporary basis, and let your brothers check out what kind of person they are."

Wen Zhengyu let out an "Uh," and said: "There's no one I'm considering dating." Afraid that Lian Xin might go on, she gave in a little helplessly and confessed honestly: "I don't really have any especially close friends. I just get along a little more with Ye Ling. But she has a bit of that kind of interest in me, and I don't want her to misunderstand anything."

Her cousin's wife pinched Lian Xin and said: "Yu'er is thin-skinned. Stop teasing her all the time."

Lian Xin said: "I'm not. I'm just afraid Yu'er might take offense." He called out: "Zhenxing," and said: "Look after your cousin-aunt. A real man must look after the girls, protect her—got it?"

Wen Zhengyu: "…" What do you mean, having a ten-year-old little man protect me, a twenty-seven-year-old?

The little man declared: "Got it."

Wen Zhengyu thought to herself: Is this how the Lian family custom of doting on their wives was established?

The little man was very attentive. One moment he asked if she was thirsty or wanted some water, struggling to unscrew the cap of the bottled water kept in the car and handing it to Wen Zhengyu. The next he asked if she'd had breakfast, and if not, he had some biscuits. Then he asked if she got carsick, adding that he used to get carsick a lot but was much better now, and he had Wen Zhengyu look at the motion sickness patch behind his ear. He even said it was inborn, something you could only try to adapt to but was hard to cure.

Lian Zhenxing chatted with Wen Zhengyu like a little grown-up the whole journey.

The farmhouse leisure resort was beside a reservoir, and the surroundings were quite nice. Willows had been planted along the bank, and there were pavilions with thatched roofs, inside which were barbecue grills. Right next to the pavilions was the barbecue area, with brick-paved ground, barbecue tables and grills. By the water's edge there were carbonized wood decking and scenic touches like waterwheels and flowing water, all kept in excellent order—you could tell business was doing well.

It was a self-service barbecue, with the grills separated from the dining tables. The charcoal fires in the grills were already lit, and all the ingredients were in the freezer chests—help yourself.

The seven cousins had brought along their respective wives and children; including Wen Zhengyu, there were twenty-one people in all.

The kids did things themselves. The younger ones fetched ingredients and handed them to their older boy cousins, who helped them grill.

As for her cousin's wives, they all fetched ingredients and handed them to their husbands, letting their respective husbands do the work. The seven women sat together chatting, starting to discuss clothes, makeup, and kids. They even called Wen Zhengyu over.

In that instant Wen Zhengyu understood why they'd told her to bring a partner! This was beyond just torturing a single dog—you had to roll up your own sleeves and man the barbecue yourself. She glanced at the wives sitting at the table waiting to be served, then at the seven cousins who had already rolled up their sleeves and were busy in the smoke and fire. She suddenly felt she'd have to treat herself as one of the men.

Lian Xi even said to her: "Yu'er, go get some ingredients. Your brother Xi will help you grill."

Wen Zhengyu thought about it and said: "I want to try it myself first."

Lian Xi was very skeptical. "Can you handle it?"

Lian Ming bumped him with his elbow. "Is that any way to talk?" He called out: "Yu'er, whatever you want to eat, go get it yourself. I'll help you grill."

Wen Zhengyu thanked him, went to get some vegetables, and stood in front of a grill.

Her several sisters-in-law all looked over, quite worried that she didn't know how to barbecue. The eldest cousin's wife asked her: "Have you grilled before?"

Wen Zhengyu admitted honestly: "This is my first time." In truth, she had eaten barbecue very few times, too.

So her eldest cousin's wife came over on her own initiative to help, telling her she couldn't only grill vegetables, and that if she only grilled vegetables without oil it wouldn't work. Once the eldest cousin's wife came over, several of the other wives, seeing that she also knew nothing about cooking and was giving bad advice, said one after another that she didn't know what she was doing, and they all stood up and gathered around.

Seeing that Wen Zhengyu had only taken a few green vegetables, they went and helped her get some meat and seafood.

Her seven sisters-in-law were from different provinces, with different tastes and different grilling methods; their instructions varied a little from one to the next. Fortunately the basic barbecue technique was more or less the same. It was all just flipping the food back and forth, brushing on oil and seasonings. Where they differed was in which seasonings they brushed on—that was where regional variations came in. The one fairly universal thing was that barbecue always got a bit of chili.

There was meat on her grill, dripping oil. When the oil dripped down, the flames flared up and caught the meat, and the wind blew the smoke straight into her face.

Wen Zhengyu was smoked until tears came to her eyes, and she hurriedly dodged out of the way.

The fourth sister-in-law was very decisive. "Yu'er, you go take a break, I'll do it!" She positioned herself upwind of the grill and began to scatter chili and Sichuan pepper over the food.

That smell—Wen Zhengyu found it pungent just catching a whiff.

Only after scattering it did the fourth sister-in-law seem to recall something. "Oh dear, Yu'er, I seem to recall you don't eat spicy food, right?"

Wen Zhengyu: "…" She ate sweet things.

The fourth sister-in-law said: "That's all right. Your brother Xin can eat spicy." So she stuffed all the barbecue that Wen Zhengyu had painstakingly grilled for ages over to her cousin.

Wen Zhengyu: "…" She felt the fourth sister-in-law had come just to cause trouble.

Her several sisters-in-law commandeered her barbecue grill and got their fill of the grilling experience. In the end, what was burnt, half-raw, or spoiled all went to her cousins, who reprocessed it further. She ended up eating barbecue grilled by all seven cousins. The cousins, meanwhile, wrinkled their brows, cut away the burnt parts, and ate what wasn't burnt. As for the portions that were too salty, too spicy, or just tasted a little odd—well, they were all grilled by their own wives, so they ate them with furrowed brows.

The sisters-in-law were all a bit embarrassed about making their husbands eat less-than-perfect barbecue, and they fussed around bringing tea, handing over water, and dabbing at mouths with all sorts of attentiveness.

Wen Zhengyu sat among them and could only focus intently on eating her barbecue. She was so spiced that tears streamed down her face and her lips burned as if on fire; she drank a huge amount of water. Barbecue in diverse regional flavors, and not a single one suited her without chili. Everyone was very attentive to her and kept adding more food to her plate. Wen Zhengyu ate through her tears until she was stuffed, and there was still a mountain of barbecue in front of her waiting to be dealt with. She looked towards her sisters-in-law—whatever they couldn't finish all went to their respective husbands, and sometimes their sons came over to help polish it off.

Watching them like this, Wen Zhengyu suddenly felt that having someone by your side really was quite nice.

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