Offense - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Under the incandescent lights, the footsteps of a few scattered customers echoed silently through the store.

The alcohol made her head ache and burn, but in the instant the words left her mouth, in the few short seconds that Zhou Yanqian's eyes widened and her pupils trembled, Lian Wan's mind suddenly calmed down.

She felt a mix of remorse and a strange sense of satisfaction.

How much or how little she wore didn't really matter.

It was her freedom, after all.

Lian Wan knew this. In fact, she knew even more—things like feminism, equal rights, and the ever-changing trends and politics. These topics, so different from the dead, drawn-out silence of Pingchuan Town, were hot, thorny subjects popular in the city.

When Lian Wan was in school, her grades weren't good. But she understood what kind of world existed beyond books, beyond Pingchuan Town. Not to mention how developed the internet was now; even far from the bustling cities, the hot topics and lifestyles of the metropolis were gradually influencing this small town.

The world was full of so many other brilliant and varied lives.

But Lian Wan knew these things, only to have to cast them aside. The enlightenment these topics brought couldn't earn her a single dime. Just like how for all these years, she had always been alone, driving her truck on the road, her mood gradually growing irritable and numb in her day-to-day life.

But when comparing conscious ignorance to a willing backwardness, the pretense of the former seemed to carry a heavier sin.

What counts as a whip depends on who the sheep are. Lian Wan dazedly recalled the laughter and words of those men tonight, and herself sitting among them. Her anger subsided, like the embers after a fire, cold, seeping into her back.

She stared at the woman's trembling pupils, as if looking at herself across a dark, silent lake.

She thought defiantly: She was just a driver from a small place like this, all alone, with no money, no education, no ideals, no courage, almost turning into a man among a pile of men. These ethereal words were just like the relationship between them. The two of them were never from the same world to begin with.

And right now, she was about to make her angry.

Lian Wan thought this, waiting for her anger, her ridicule, even her contempt, like a mortal awaiting punishment from a god. But the woman was only stunned for a moment, her long lashes trembling, as if she had quickly let something go, and raised a hand.

She touched her face, then used the pad of her finger to stroke her hot earlobe, the pressure light and slow, and asked in a low voice:

"Then you tell me, what is good, and what is not good?"

It was as if a heavy stone had dropped in her heart. Lian Wan unconsciously opened her mouth to defend herself: "I..."

The slender white fingers drew back, lightly pressing against Lian Wan's dry lips. Like a bewitching spirit in the dark of night, those thin red lips opened and closed:

"You're drunk right now. Go home and think it over. Don't come back for the next few days. Only come back when you've thought it through."

Her tone was deceptively coaxing.

Her fingers withdrew, and as they did, the thin fabric of her collar shifted, hiding the alluring sight.

"...I don't know." Lian Wan's mouth was dry. She swallowed and said in a small voice.

But the woman wasn't looking at her anymore.

Seeing the two of them silent, someone behind them opportunistically squeezed forward, handing over instant noodles and chocolate to be scanned, his elbow jabbing Lian Wan painfully. Lian Wan shot him an irritated glare, but the other person ignored her, busy making small talk with Zhou Yanqian, chattering on and on.

"Luncheon meat, is it... I'll stock some for you next time..."

"Really? I like adding ham sausage, I don't eat luncheon meat..."

Lian Wan remained in the position she'd been pushed into, staring wistfully for a good while. Seeing that Zhou Yanqian really had no intention of paying her any more attention, she finally turned around hesitantly. On her way to the door, and as she pushed it open to leave, she tried with all her might to feel a gaze on her back, but felt nothing at all.

...So she really was angry after all.

Back home, in the pitch-black room, Lian Wan didn't even turn on the light. She did nothing, just threw herself onto the bed to brood.

Lian Wan didn't understand. Zhou Yanqian had gotten angry, just as she'd wanted, but she still wasn't happy. She was unhappy as if someone had stolen something from her, and she felt powerless, as if that period of her life after her grandmother's death, when she was at the mercy of others, had returned.

But this time, she couldn't just put on a cold face anymore.

For the first time in her twenty-plus years of life, she tasted such a complex feeling, and she was even tormented by it in her dreams.

She woke up covered in sweat, her clothes from the night before wrinkled and rumpled. When she turned over, her stiff bones creaked along with the bed frame.

The room was filled with white light, and the faint smell of a neighbor's stir-fry drifted in. It seemed it was already late. Lian Wan stared at the ceiling for a long time before realizing with a start that it was already afternoon. Luckily, the Vehicle Team had a half-day off. She rubbed her sore neck and walked to the balcony, pulling her face towel from the clothesline. With a glance, she happened to see a familiar, slender figure walk out onto the balcony diagonally below hers.

And perhaps, a familiar sweet scent.

Her dark hair was coiled on top of her head, revealing a pale neck, a posture both dignified and unapproachable. A turn revealed an equally snow-white chest; the silk slip dress couldn't contain the aura of a woman who had slept her fill, which ran rampant and unrestrained in the afternoon's floral scent.

She had dreamed about her all night. Now, Lian Wan was afraid just seeing her. She held the wet towel. Despite the distance between them, she held her breath nervously, afraid of being seen, yet also afraid of not being seen.

But the other woman seemed oblivious to her thoughts, not noticing the tense gaze from nearby. She calmly went about her business, washing her face, looking in the mirror, tying up her hair. Her two smooth, white arms rose, and the overly thin fabric left nothing to the imagination, making Lian Wan want to close her eyes again.

When she opened her eyes again, the woman's figure was gone from the balcony.

The washbasin clattered. Lian Wan wiped her face as if venting her frustration. The dripping towel stung her palms as she wrung it out.

In a rare fit of willfulness, she skipped lunch. After a shower, she left the house. When she got to the Vehicle Team, she was the first one there. The break room was empty. On WeChat, Wang Zhiqiang had said there wasn't much work today, just one moving job in the West District, and gave her the client's contact information.

The rule in town was that for moving jobs, you probably had to help move the stuff too. Thinking of this, Lian Wan took some old clothes she had stored in a locker at the Vehicle Team and changed. The clothes were from a few years ago, as old and faded as a newspaper. Lian Wan drew the curtain in her truck and thought, as she changed, that she'd throw them away after this job.

The client called. It was a young man's voice, asking irritably when she would arrive.

Too lazy to waste her breath, Lian Wan put the phone on speaker, tossed it aside, and turned the key. Her voice was accompanied by the hum of the engine: "Right away."

The man urged her a few more times. Lian Wan pretended not to hear, gave a few perfunctory replies, and by the time she had the truck on the road, he had already hung up.

The West District was slightly more prosperous than the East District where Lian Wan lived. Three-story Western-style houses lined the streets, packed tightly with rows of shops. There were more people on the streets than in the East District, too. Shopkeepers' children chased each other along the road, paying no mind to the traffic.

Lian Wan had to hit the brakes several times, worsening her already bad mood. She was the type to wear her emotions on her face, so her expression grew even colder. When she got out of the truck, the client was already waiting downstairs, clearly expecting her to go up and move things.

It was obvious the man had been about to lose his temper, but held it back when he saw Lian Wan's expression. He just grumbled as they went upstairs: "How long have you been doing this? Are you even capable? I get scared when you women drive. A female driver, don't tell me you're gonna..."

Lian Wan cut him off: "Yeah, you'd better be careful walking in front of my truck later. Watch out I don't run you over and kill you."

The man's eyes widened: "Hey, what did you just..." Lian Wan didn't back down, glaring right back at him. A small place like Pingchuan Town had never cared about customer service. There were only a few big truck drivers, and usually, the drivers from the Vehicle Team acted like kings when they were on a job. The man only dared to speak to her like that because she was an unfamiliar face and a woman. Lian Wan knew this perfectly well and couldn't be bothered to argue with him. She took the stairs in wide strides, stopped in front of the wide-open door of the apartment, and waited with her arms crossed.

Inside, packed and stacked cardboard boxes lay strewn across the balcony, along with a few brightly colored plastic buckets. A bundle of hangers and toiletries sat in the buckets, and unfolded clothes poked out of the cardboard boxes. At first glance, it was a bit of a mess.

Footsteps echoed from inside the room. The man caught up from behind, shot her a hateful glare, and went inside.

A moment later, he came out supporting a heavily pregnant woman.

The pregnant woman was actually an acquaintance. She looked up and greeted her: "...A-Wan? Is that you?"

Gu Yan's voice was the same as before, still carrying that irritating timidity: "...It really is you."

Lian Wan lifted her eyelids, recognizing her. But she didn't say anything, just nodded at her.

The man also stammered, "You two know each other?"

Lian Wan said impatiently, "How are we moving this?"

"Oh! You take the boxes here, I'll take these. Yan... come on, watch your step..."

The woman behind him laughed softly: "I'm not that delicate..."

"Yes, you are..."

Lian Wan couldn't be bothered to listen to the rest. She lifted a cardboard box and headed downstairs.

She had been drinking last night and hadn't eaten anything all day. After a few trips up and down the stairs, she sat back in the truck, a cold sweat already breaking out on her back. Her stomach was empty, and she felt weak even pressing the gas pedal.

But of all things, Gu Yan was still talking to her. She carefully protected her seat-belted stomach, turning her head to give Lian Wan an ingratiating smile. "So you really are driving a truck now. I heard people mention it. It can't be easy for a girl in this line of work..."

Lian Wan kept her eyes on the road, watching for children darting out: "Yeah."

Gu Yan's next words were cut off, but she didn't get angry. She had always had that kind of submissive, good-natured personality. After a moment of silence, she started a new topic:

"Are you still in touch with any of our old classmates? I've lost contact with a lot of them."

"No."

The truck turned onto the main road. Lian Wan actually wanted to say, "What's the point of keeping in touch? We all looked down on each other anyway." But considering she was talking to Gu Yan, a woman who seemed a bit simple-minded, she held her tongue.

Gu Yan fell silent for several minutes after that answer. Perhaps the silence made her uneasy, because before long, she asked in a low voice, "Hey, do you guys make a lot of money doing this?"

Her tone had a feigned familiarity and even a hint of cheerfulness, as if she were happy to have found such an excellent topic of conversation.

Listening to her, Lian Wan suddenly felt that everything was pointless.

She didn't respond. After a long moment, she couldn't help but say calmly, "It is what it is."

Everything good, everything bad, you, me, everyone, now, the future-it is what it is.

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