BSS - Chapter 111

Chapter 111

On the day Deng Chuan left home to return to Beijing, Xu Wei happened to be on duty and had to supervise the evening study session at school.

It got dark early in winter, so the classroom lights were turned on well before evening. The bell for the evening study session rang. Xu Wei walked in, holding a stack of papers, and scanned the half-grown kids with their heads bowed. A scattered few who heard the door open looked up at her, only to be swept by her cold gaze and lower their heads again.

Inside the classroom, the windows and doors were shut. The air was a mixture of smells, but the temperature was warm. Xu Wei had taken off her overcoat before coming in. Her blazer was open, revealing a gray silk blouse underneath. The collar draped softly, subtly concealing her fair collarbones. She stood with one hand resting lightly on the lectern and the other in her pocket, her body tilted slightly. As a result, looking down, one could only see the smooth line of one side of her waist, tucked into slim-fit suit trousers.

After confirming all the students were present and well-behaved, Xu Wei withdrew her gaze and sat down at the teacher's desk. The chair she pulled out made a small scraping sound on the floor.

Hearing the sound, a student in the front row raised their head and stole another glance at her.

Teacher Xu, seemingly unaware, kept her head down, silently flipping through the stack of papers she had brought.

Halfway through the papers, she paused and glanced at the phone beside her. For some reason, the students in the front row noticed that Teacher Xu, who usually focused entirely on supervising their study session, had checked her phone several times tonight, as if waiting for a message. Halfway through the first period, someone finally came up to the desk with a problem set. Xu Wei recognized the girl, who was a very diligent student, and looked up with a smile. "What kind of problem is it this time?"

The girl seemed a bit shy from her smile. She averted her eyes slightly and said in a low voice, "It's from the placement test from the year before last."

The school kept copies of previous years' placement tests, but since different teachers created the questions each year, the teachers themselves didn't have copies. Hearing this, Xu Wei raised her eyebrows in slight surprise. "What part don't you understand?"

The girl rustled through the test paper. "Here, here, here, and this question."

"Let me see..." They had to keep their voices down in the classroom, so Xu Wei gestured for the girl to crouch down and get closer so they could look at the test paper together.

"This problem goes like this..."

As Teacher Xu spoke in soft, hushed tones, the girl unconsciously leaned closer and closer. Xu Wei's pencil circled key parts on the paper, and the girl nodded earnestly, her nose catching a faint, pleasant scent wafting in the air.

Xu Wei usually didn't wear strong perfume at school; the scent coming from her was that of body lotion. The girl twitched her nose but, intimidated by Teacher Xu's usual stern expression, didn't dare to say something trivial like, "Teacher, you smell nice." After listening to Xu Wei's explanation, she quickly slipped away.

One person asking a question started a trend, and soon, many students were coming up to the desk. This continued until the bell rang, and there was still a boy holding a workbook at her desk.

This boy's fundamentals seemed a bit weak; he was asking about basic concepts and key difficult points that had been emphasized in class. Xu Wei, however, was very patient. She flipped through his workbook and asked him what else he didn't understand.

The boy pointed to a major problem they had just gone over today.

Seeming to notice Xu Wei's surprise, the boy confessed, a little embarrassed, "During class... I don't think I understood..."

"Which step didn't you get?"

He was completely clueless and couldn't say what he didn't understand. Xu Wei had no choice but to follow her lecture's logic and carefully go over it with him from the beginning, starting with the key concepts. "Can you understand this?"

The boy nodded, and his eyes inadvertently fell on Teacher Xu's phone, which had lit up on the desk.

Xu Wei had been watching his reaction. Seeing the boy get distracted, she followed his gaze and glanced over as well. The screen was lit up—it seemed to be a call. She reached out, picked up the phone, and tapped the boy's workbook. "Pay attention."

The boy didn't go back to his seat with his scratch paper full of steps and his workbook until the bell rang for the next period. Watching the students settle back into their seats, Xu Wei turned and stepped out of the classroom. The cold wind hit her face. Though she was thinly dressed, she took a deep breath of the dry, cold air, feeling a strange sense of refreshment.

She stopped by the railing and called the number back.

The call connected quickly. Unlike the quiet on Xu Wei's end, the background on the other side was noisy, with voices mixed with the faint sound of an announcer's broadcast. The contrast was so stark that the pull between the two almost seemed to drag her into that other world on the other end of the line.

It was quiet all around. Xu Wei spoke first in a low voice, "Hello."

Amidst the chaotic background noise, Deng Chuan's voice came through clearly in her ear, tinged with a bright laugh. "Hello- I'm at the airport. I figured it was the break between classes, so I called you then. I didn't interrupt Teacher Xu's work, did I?"

She seemed to be in a coffee shop. After saying that, she murmured a "thank you." There was the faint clink of porcelain. Xu Wei could almost picture her actions: carrying a tray, looking around for a moment, then finding a place to sit. The thought unconsciously lightened Xu Wei's mood. "No... I was just explaining a problem..." She didn't elaborate, instead changing the subject. "Where are you? Are you having dinner?"

She then heard the slight rustle of a wrapper, and Deng Chuan's voice was a little muffled, as if she'd just taken a big bite of a sandwich. "I am."

She then asked her, "What did you have for dinner tonight?"

Xu Wei's voice grew softer, and she replied, seemingly without much conviction, "I had a little something at the cafeteria."

Deng Chuan's doubt was obvious. "A- little something?"

A guilty Teacher Xu didn't answer.

In fact, she had only had a few sips of soup tonight, a far cry from "having a little something."

And because she'd only had a few sips of soup, her stomach had started to ache faintly ever since that first girl came up to the desk to ask her question.

She remained silent, but the kid on the other end of the line pressed on, "You didn't eat, did you?"

The guilty Teacher Xu's voice softened. "Aiya- I ate, stop asking. Just focus on your own food..."

Realizing Xu Wei was being coy, Deng Chuan indeed stopped asking, but she made a mental note of it and changed the subject. "I just got out of the car, and the wind outside is so strong... You should wear more, don't catch a cold."

Xu Wei subconsciously pulled her collar tighter. "Mm."

"Sigh." Deng Chuan laughed, saying as if sighing, "I miss you so much."

After she said this, it sounded as if she had grabbed her coffee and gulped it down, making several loud swallowing noises.

"...When you land, let me know." It was too quiet around her, and afraid that a passing student might overhear the emotion brimming in her voice, Xu Wei lowered her voice and spoke softly.

Of course, Deng Chuan hadn't said that to burden Xu Wei in any way. Xu Wei could hear the emotion expressed in her words. Deng Chuan's reluctance to part was soft, without any sharp edges, like a fluffy cloud. Xu Wei plunged headfirst into it, as if falling into a secret grotto in a wonderland, destined to fall all the way to the cloud-tops where happiness dwelled.

Deng Chuan replied gently, "Of course. I should still have some time when I get back to the university. We can video chat then."

They had just seen each other this afternoon, Xu Wei thought, letting out a soft breath. "Okay."

That afternoon, Deng Chuan had driven to the school to see her, bringing the lipstick Xu Wei had left in her car. As luck would have it, Xu Wei had to teach the last class of the day and then rush to supervise the evening study session, so they couldn't stay in the car for long. Deng Chuan helped straighten Xu Wei's disheveled clothes and watched her get out of the car.

As she drove away, she couldn't help but watch the figure standing in place in her left-side mirror.

What was Xu Wei thinking at that moment? Deng Chuan couldn't stop wondering. She drove home, and then from home to the airport, her mind scattered the entire way.

Xu Wei's voice pulled her back from her thoughts. "I have to go back in. A student is looking for me..."

She paused for two seconds, as if struggling to hold something back, then called Deng Chuan's name in a voice that laid her thoughts bare. "Deng Chuan."

"I miss you too," Xu Wei said softly.

After she said this, it seemed someone called out to her. Xu Wei said one last goodbye to Deng Chuan and hurriedly hung up the phone.

The one who had called out to Xu Wei was a boy from the next class, also holding a workbook. Xu Wei hung up and turned to look at him. Fortunately, the light in the hallway was dim, and the boy didn't notice Xu Wei's reddened eyes.

Xu Wei suppressed her emotions and kept her voice steady. "What's your question?"

The boy moved a little closer. Xu Wei impassively took a step back, raised her eyes, and stared at him unhurriedly until his voice faltered. "...Here."

Xu Wei glanced down. "Let's talk about it tomorrow. I'll be going over this problem in detail tomorrow."

The boy stammered, "...Okay." He glanced at Xu Wei's thin clothes and asked dryly, "Aren't you cold? You should go inside."

"..." Xu Wei looked at him without speaking.

"...Teacher."

His words held a hesitant, unspoken meaning. Xu Wei's brow furrowed sharply. Without responding, she lowered her eyes, turned, and walked back toward the classroom.

In the deep, dark winter night, the air was still and silent. The pale light of the hallway fell on the crown of Xu Wei's head, but it revealed not a trace of approachability. From the top of her head to her fingertips, she was neat and meticulous. Her neck was straight, her posture elegant, yet her entire being was encased in an impenetrable shell of ice, radiating a stern chill.

The young, half-grown boy stood rooted to the spot, staring blankly at her retreating figure. He thought that Xu Wei was indeed very different from students like them. She was a genuine adult—cold, decisive, with a heart of stone. She drew a clear line between herself and them, giving no one a chance, not even offering a shred of perfunctory pity.

Looking at such a living specimen, a template of an adult, the boy couldn't help but wonder: For a rational person like Xu Wei, what could possibly make her see someone in a different light?

Xu Wei could feel the boy's gaze stuck to her back.

She was no stranger to this kind of gaze. In fact, Deng Chuan had once looked at her the same way.

It was inevitable for adolescents to develop some naive fantasies, whether intentional or not. Xu Wei understood this, but she didn't approve. People should do the right things at the right age. The sentiment might be precious, but it wasn't appropriate. Just as she had told Deng Chuan, the thoughts of these half-grown kids were as transparent as a blank sheet of paper to her. With a single glance, she knew what they were thinking.

And she truly had never taken any of it seriously.

Naivety, passion, even persistence and fervor—in Xu Wei's eyes, these were not enough. These were things the kids had in abundance.

To talk of love and commitment too early was, in Xu Wei's view, merely a sign of recklessness.

She would only pay attention to the one who was as calm as she was. Even if she was young, naive, and hadn't seen more of the world, she had already learned patience and restraint. That was her most precious quality at her age.

No one would ever know how Xu Wei truly viewed that initial proposition about waiting.

In that moment, Xu Wei simply thought.

Just like back then, they should both be moving along on their own tracks now.

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