BSS - Chapter 76

Chapter 76

When Deng Chuan came out of the office, the corridor was filled with the orange-yellow afterglow of the setting sun, casting a soft halo over everything in sight. It all seemed somewhat unreal, like a long dream in an impressionist painting.

Many teachers and students were coming and going in the corridor, and from time to time, someone would cast a curious glance at her as she stood pensively by the office door.

Their gazes brought Deng Chuan back to reality. The file folder in her hand was real. The one-year exchange program to Oxford was also real.

She felt a little lost. The countless thoughts that had popped into her head swirled together-opportunity, future, studies, love. Deng Chuan knew the department head was right; someone who truly wished her well and had her best interests at heart would never turn down this opportunity.

Deng Chuan recalled what Xu Wei had said during that phone call on New Year's Eve at the beginning of the year.

Now, Xu Wei's voice traveled through the intervening months and fell upon Deng Chuan's ears once more: "I hope you... have a bright future, always maintain the wonderful person you are now, and run toward the tomorrow that belongs to you."

Was this the tomorrow and future Xu Wei hoped to see? Deng Chuan didn't know. She didn't even dare to think about what might change in a year. Could this wonderfulness truly be preserved? If she couldn't be with Xu Wei, what meaning would her tomorrow and future hold? The "forever" she had promised Xu Wei-would that, too, become a lie?

Clutching the kraft paper folder, Deng Chuan walked from the office corridor all the way outside the academic building. Her heart was in turmoil, but her face remained impassive. When she ran into a teacher she knew, she could still manage a smile and a nod.

It was Deng Chuan's finance professor. He was delighted to see her and came over to pat her on the shoulder. "So? You've heard, haven't you?"

Deng Chuan looked earnestly at the professor's beaming expression and nodded.

"That's wonderful, congratulations. I had to keep it to myself for the past few days and didn't dare say anything, but now it's finally confirmed. You still have half a year, so prepare well!"

Deng Chuan smiled and exchanged a few pleasantries with him, even making a small joke. "Thank you, professor. There's still half a year, so the main problem I'm facing right now is still the final exams."

"Final exams are no problem for you." The professor shifted the books in his arms, shook his head, and said earnestly, "Young people, don't waste your ability and talent. Go see the wider world."

He freed a hand to pat Deng Chuan's shoulder again. "I wish you all the best!"

The professor was rushing to catch the commuter bus, so after a few more words, they said their goodbyes on the campus path.

Watching the finance professor's figure disappear around the corner, Deng Chuan's smile faded. Her expression calm, she walked toward the cafeteria as usual.

That day, Deng Chuan didn't alter her original plans because of the news about the exchange program. After eating, she went to the gym as usual, then sat down in her regular spot at the library.

She was more than halfway through her study plan for the day when she looked up from her notes and textbooks. The bright fluorescent lights were still overhead, and the students around her were all diligently hunched over, taking notes or reading. Steam rose from the water cup on her desk, curling into the air. It all made Deng Chuan feel a bit dazed; the scenes from the past were so similar to the one before her now, yet the stage of life she faced was completely different.

She stayed in the library until very late. It wasn't until the closing music began to play that everyone started packing up their books and heading out. This was the only noisy moment in the library. The librarians patrolled aisle by aisle, checking for any students left behind.

Deng Chuan left the library. It was the review period before finals week, and students who needed to keep studying headed for the academic buildings, or simply found a spot in a lit stairwell, opened their books, and began to read.

Uncharacteristically, Deng Chuan had no desire to continue studying. She had already completed her plan for the day. The tranquility of the late night, like morning dew, seeped into her body and mind from the ground up. Standing on the late autumn campus, the night sky above illuminated by the lights of the academic buildings, Deng Chuan took a deep breath and belatedly remembered what had happened today.

She glanced down. The kraft paper folder lay quietly in her bag.

That night, Deng Chuan returned to her dorm.

She didn't go inside right away. Instead, just as she had on the first day of school, she sat down in the deserted and grimy stairwell and called Xu Wei.

Compared to the start of the semester, the light in the stairwell seemed to be broken. It was pitch-black all around, with only a bit of dim yellow light from the streetlamps filtering in through the window.

The floor was a little cold. Deng Chuan wrapped her coat tighter around herself and waited quietly for the call to connect.

She had casually tossed her bag to the side.

From outside the window came the excited shouts of students playing basketball. It seemed there was some kind of game tonight; the sounds of whistles and cheers mingled together, creating a lively atmosphere.

Deng Chuan listened to the rhythmic thud and bounce of the basketball.

The phone rang for a while before it was answered. It wasn't a video call, so Deng Chuan could only hear Xu Wei's gentle voice on the other end. "Hello-why are you so late today?"

Deng Chuan lowered her eyes, finding it almost difficult to speak. "Mm... I was at the library."

It was a pointless thing to say. Of course Xu Wei knew she went to the library every day. Deng Chuan felt as if she had lost the ability to form words, listening blankly as Xu Wei spoke on the other end. "You sound so listless. Did you stay up late again?"

Deng Chuan replied sullenly, "No."

Xu Wei seemed to be adjusting her position, leaning against the headboard. The rustle of the quilt being pulled came through the phone. The sound seemed to bring a bit of warmth to Deng Chuan in the cold darkness. She bit her lip and called out with difficulty, "Teacher Xu."

Xu Wei's voice was light. "Yes. What's wrong?"

"..."

"Nothing." Deng Chuan slowly exhaled. "I miss you."

"You miss me every day? What am I going to do with you?" Xu Wei laughed on the other end.

Deng Chuan laughed too, her voice tinged with a hint of grievance she wasn't aware of. "I don't know."

But Xu Wei noticed. She didn't make a big deal of it, instead coaxing the sulking kid on the other end in a soft voice, "Alright-don't be upset, be good. The weather's gotten cold here at home. It must be even colder in Beijing. Are you wearing enough?"

"Mhm," Deng Chuan said, unconsciously rubbing the floor with the tip of her shoe. "I'm wearing two pairs of pants today."

Xu Wei couldn't help but laugh again. "Did you listen to your mom and put on long johns?"

"Mhm," Deng Chuan said, then added, "You should wear more too."

"I know..."

"Don't wear skirts if it's too cold."

"I'm not wearing a skirt-I wore pants today."

The call continued peacefully, but Deng Chuan was never able to bring herself to mention the news. The gentler Xu Wei was, the more she hesitated. She could tell that Xu Wei was in a good mood. The present moment was just too wonderful, and Deng Chuan couldn't bear to let that news ruin everything.

Or perhaps, she was simply running away.

Just before they hung up, they said good night, each waiting for the other to end the call. Listening to Xu Wei's quiet breathing, Deng Chuan couldn't help but call out again, "Xu Wei..."

Xu Wei answered with a hum, waiting for her to continue.

But in the end, Deng Chuan still couldn't say it. She stood up, gazed at the half-moon outside the window, and swallowed the complex mix of anxiety and guilt that filled her chest. She let out a soft breath. "It's nothing... you hang up first."

The dead air on the line was a slow torture, and Xu Wei's silence was the last straw that crushed her psychological defenses.

In the end, it was Deng Chuan who hung up first.

She picked up her bag and returned to the dorm. Only Zhou Zhi and Li Mingtang were there; Xie Yao hadn't come back from the academic building yet. Hearing the door open, Li Mingtang turned her head and called out, "Deng Chuan, you're back?"

There was anticipation in Li Mingtang's eyes. Deng Chuan grunted in acknowledgment and placed the milk she had asked her to get from the vending machine downstairs on her desk. "Here."

"Hehe, love you."

Li Mingtang happily started drinking her milk. Zhou Zhi looked at Deng Chuan's tired face and asked tentatively, "Deng Chuan? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Deng Chuan replied. It was warmer in the dorm. She took off her coat, sat down in her chair, and rubbed her face.

She cupped her face in her hands and zoned out for a while. It was getting late. After washing up, Zhou Zhi and Li Mingtang prepared for bed. As they passed by her, they called out, "Deng Chuan-go to sleep soon, you have an early class tomorrow."

Deng Chuan snapped back to reality and slowly replied, "Okay," before standing up.

Xie Yao returned while Deng Chuan was brushing her teeth. Seeing that the lights in the room were already off, she tiptoed to the balcony, startling Deng Chuan.

She, in turn, was frightened by Deng Chuan brushing her teeth in the dark. She complained in a hushed voice, "Deng Chuan-why are you brushing your teeth without the light on?"

Deng Chuan rinsed the foam from her mouth, washed her face, and answered quietly over the sound of running water, "I forgot to turn it on."

"How could you forget that? You're really something." Xie Yao flicked on the bathroom light with a click and shut the door, muttering to herself.

---

The next day was another full day of classes.

Deng Chuan was in class from morning until evening, only taking a short nap at noon. After dinner, she didn't have the energy to go to the gym, so she parted ways with Zhou Zhi and went to the library as usual, sitting down in her seat.

She flipped through a few pages of her book but felt too restless and agitated to read. She had seen her microeconomics professor in class earlier, and she had brought up the exchange program again, asking how her talk with her family had gone.

She seemed to sense her predicament and added meaningfully, "You should think it over carefully. Don't have any regrets."

Thinking of his words only made Deng Chuan feel more annoyed and confused. She picked up her water cup and took a sip. Unexpectedly, she saw her phone screen light up on the desk.

She grabbed her phone to look. Unlocking the screen, she saw a message from Xu Wei.

It was just two short sentences.

-What's my Little Fool up to?

-Turn around and look.

Deng Chuan whipped her head around.

At that moment, the corridor was overflowing with the evening sun streaming in from the windows. Everything was bathed in a golden hue, as if melting into the light. Every tiny speck of dust floating in the air was rendered visible in the golden light.

Xu Wei was standing just outside the glass doors.

The afterglow of the setting sun also fell upon her brow, a thin veil of gold that made her skin look as white as snow.

Deng Chuan shot to her feet and walked toward Xu Wei.

She walked faster and faster, completely unaware of her own pace.

When Xu Wei saw Deng Chuan look over, their eyes met. The kid immediately shot up as if electrocuted and strode quickly in her direction, causing people nearby to look at her.

But her eyes were fixed solely on her.

Xu Wei couldn't help but smile. She watched Deng Chuan's features grow closer, her eyes filled with the familiar fervor and love, along with something more complex-an emotion she couldn't quite decipher.

Before she had time to ponder the source of Deng Chuan's emotions, she was pulled by the excited kid all the way to the corner of the corridor.

The corner was extremely quiet, with no one around. Xu Wei teased Deng Chuan lightly, "There's no one here. What are you planning to do?"

The next second, she was pulled into a tight embrace by the excited kid.

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