BSS - Chapter 72
Chapter 72
When one's mind is extremely tranquil, it's often impossible to speak, just like Xu Wei at this very moment. She rested her head on Deng Chuan's shoulder, pillowed against the young woman's firm frame, and remained quietly silent.
Her silence was an indulgent affirmation.
And Deng Chuan understood her.
They lay embracing amidst the soft bedding. Beyond the curtains was a gray-blue sky; at the farthest point of the horizon, the distant mountains of the suburbs were faintly visible. Within the curtains was a dim room, dim breaths, dim silence.
It was a very long, and yet very short, evening.
Day and night gradually merged until the transformation was complete. The evening stars lit up, the sky turned black, and the room grew truly dark.
It was pitch-black all around, leaving only the sensation of soft touch.
The moon rose from behind the distant mountains. The clouds were few and thin, like the wall of a bubble that would pop at a touch, dissipating to reveal the high, pure night sky. Thus, the bright moonlight could spill unhindered onto the world.
Tomorrow would surely be a clear, sunny day.
But the tightly drawn curtains kept the moonlight out. Inside, Xu Wei could no longer remain silent. She clung to Deng Chuan's shoulders, her breathing slightly uneven. Beneath her fingertips was the distinct contour of her lover. In her movements, she gripped a little too hard, but Deng Chuan endured it quietly, not making a sound.
It was very dark around them, and their senses could only perceive each other's presence. This made them both somewhat dependent on the other, and so the activities of exploration and affirmation descended with greater urgency and immediacy.
After an unknown amount of time, the farewell calls of playful children heading home drifted in from outside the window, distant, faint, and heartwarming. Deng Chuan sank back into the bedding, hearing it clearly. She captured Xu Wei's warm lips and tongue, passing on the beautiful feeling brought by this dusk-like sound.
She thought, Xu Wei would surely understand.
They embraced in the darkness until moonlight spilled onto the windowpane, and their famished stomachs finally issued a belated protest. Xu Wei lazily traced Deng Chuan's features in the dark. She seemed particularly fond of the small, protruding bone on the bridge of Deng Chuan's nose. It wasn't until she heard a stomach rumble that her finger slid down the bridge of the nose to pinch the Little Friend's cheek. "You didn't even eat lunch. You must be hungry, right?"
Deng Chuan wrapped her arm around Xu Wei's shoulder, idly toying with the damp hair that fell by her ear. After a long moment, she hummed an "Mhm."
Xu Wei propped herself up and switched on the bedside lamp.
The dim yellow light, like the afterglow of a sunset, instantly bathed the room in an exceptionally tender atmosphere.
Xu Wei turned on the light and was about to get out of bed when Deng Chuan wrapped her arms around her waist. "Don't go."
Just as she was about to speak, she heard Deng Chuan add, "Wait for me."
The two of them showered before eating. The steam rising in the bathroom made Deng Chuan a little drowsy. She had slept for too long; her head was groggy and her movements were slow, so she stayed in the bathroom a little longer.
Xu Wei got out earlier. By the time Deng Chuan had dried her hair and stepped out of the room, Xu Wei was just placing the reheated dishes on the dining table.
It was the food from lunch. When Xu Wei saw Deng Chuan come out, she gestured for her to sit down and eat, only to be pulled into another full embrace by the Little Friend.
"Alright, alright." She patted the Little Friend's back, somewhat amused. "Stop clinging to me all the time. Go on, eat."
She felt the Little Friend's chin rest on her shoulder and nod once.
Zhou Liu hadn't seen them all afternoon and was being very clingy. He didn't dare get on the dining table, instead jumping onto Deng Chuan's lap and trying to climb into her arms. Deng Chuan was about to play with him, but the next second, she saw Xu Wei give Zhou Liu a look of disapproval. Deng Chuan immediately picked up the cat from her lap and placed him on the floor. "Be good. Go play by yourself now."
Xu Wei placed a piece of braised pork in her bowl.
After dinner, Deng Chuan stood up and took the initiative to clear the odds and ends from the table. Xu Wei helped from the side, asking casually, "What time is your flight tomorrow?"
Deng Chuan froze for a moment before replying, "Five in the afternoon tomorrow."
Tickets for the National Day holiday were hard to get; it was good enough to have gotten one at all. There was no choice in the timing.
Xu Wei tied the garbage bag shut and hummed in acknowledgment.
Neither of them spoke. It was something that couldn't be helped. From the first moment they saw each other at the door late that night, the eight-day holiday countdown had been hanging over their heads, ticking away.
Perhaps because they had slept so much in the afternoon, neither of them went to bed early that night. It wasn't until midnight, after getting up to shower again, that they finally returned to bed to sleep.
After definitively establishing the time of their separation last night, the time they had together passed exceptionally quickly. Deng Chuan felt as if all the intimacy and whispered words were just a fleeting blur, and then she was already standing in the airport terminal.
Fortunately, Deng Chuan's parents only saw their daughter off via text message, allowing the two of them to have each other to themselves before parting.
In the airport terminal, Xu Wei opened her arms and embraced her young lover. Compared to that night before the holiday, Deng Chuan seemed to have changed a lot, and yet not at all. Xu Wei could feel Deng Chuan's arms also wrapped tightly around her waist. They held each other for a long time. If they hadn't deliberately found a pillar to stand behind before embracing, they would have certainly drawn a lot of attention.
Xu Wei thought Deng Chuan would cry, but she didn't. She simply cupped Xu Wei's face, drew close to her lips, and gazed deeply into her eyes from a distance where they were almost touching.
Her gaze was heavy, making Xu Wei think with a sigh amidst Deng Chuan's farewell embrace and kiss, the Little Friend is really growing up.
Growth is an irreversible one-way street. Xu Wei sensed the signs of Deng Chuan's impending adulthood, like smelling the bittersweet fragrance of daisies and shrubs in a forest at dusk.
Xu Wei's heart was filled with melancholy. She both wanted Deng Chuan to grow up and wished she would never change. At the same time, she knew clearly that everything was changing, every single moment. In an instant, her heart was piled high with so many ineffable emotions. But she just held Deng Chuan and said softly amidst the broadcast announcements, "It's almost time. Go on in. Take good care of yourself."
Deng Chuan hugged her, lips pressed together, and nodded earnestly.
They shared one last deep embrace, then Deng Chuan turned her back and walked toward the security checkpoint.
She didn't dare look back; she knew Xu Wei was watching her. The airport announcements blared overhead. In front of and behind her, the murmurs of goodbyes and conversations from the people around her drifted by. The clock ticked, the crowd ebbed and flowed. Deng Chuan walked forward mechanically, her steps in time with the rumbling of her suitcase wheels, echoing dully in her heart.
After checking her luggage, she found a long line at the security checkpoint. In front of her was a couple holding a baby, and behind her were other young people also returning to school. They were traveling together, chatting idly.
The wife in front asked her husband to get the electronics ready for the security check. While she held the baby, the husband hurriedly unslung his backpack, took out a power bank and a tablet, then let out a little 'aiya' and pulled out a jelly cup.
Jelly cups couldn't go through security. The husband put the power bank and tablet back in his bag, wiped his hands, tore open the jelly cup's packaging, and brought it to his wife's lips.
Deng Chuan averted her eyes, but their cheerful chatter still reached her ears clearly across the short distance.
She lowered her eyes, slightly lost in thought.
The people her age behind her were discussing recently discounted games and the plot of a game they'd beaten last night. Then they moved on to school gossip, their voices growing unrestrainedly louder-couples in their class, seniors in the Student Union, a supervisor at an internship, a beautiful female teacher for a specialized course-Deng Chuan took a step forward when she heard this. She heard middle-aged people in the next line also talking and laughing loudly. At this moment, everyone waiting for security seemed to be in their own world. Only she stood among them, flustered, not knowing where she was.
Deng Chuan took a deep breath, quickly regaining her focus amidst the brief confusion. This should have been her forte, yet she still felt lost.
The security line moved forward, and Deng Chuan, swept along by the crowd, also moved forward.
Reaching the front, Deng Chuan stepped through the security gate and met the security officer's eyes. With just one glance, her head spun. She stood stunned for a moment before coming back to her senses.
Perhaps that moment's reaction was too obvious. Deng Chuan keenly noticed that several people around her had looked over.
The culprit who had made her lose her composure also cast a faint glance her way. "Power banks, electronic devices, ticket, and ID, please take them out for inspection. Thank you."
-This was not Xu Wei.
But they were clearly a very similar pair of eyes. Just as beautiful, enough to make one's heart ache. The gaze in them was just as peaceful and serene, filled with softness, yet possessing a power that could steady one's heart.
Deng Chuan stood to the side, rummaging through her bag for her electronics, and secretly took a few more careful glances.
No. Not as composed as Xu Wei, nor as affectionate. Her gaze lacked Xu Wei's charm, which seemed so intense yet was subtly refined.
So, this was what the Xu Wei in her heart looked like, viewed through the guise of another person.
Through this pair of eyes, Deng Chuan remembered Xu Wei's face. Then she remembered Xu Wei's smile, the things she had said and done, and the things they had said and done together.
The time span wasn't actually long, but Deng Chuan felt the cable of memory was so long it could almost stretch all the way from here to Beijing.
Only then did she realize that she had been missing Xu Wei from the very moment they parted.
Once the security check was complete, Deng Chuan shouldered her bag and continued toward the boarding gate.
The crowd in the departure lounge was even larger than in the main terminal. As Deng Chuan walked, a mixture of noise and announcements rushed toward her.
The sounds entered her ears, but Deng Chuan didn't find them noisy. Her heart felt empty, and her usual focus couldn't find a place to land, just hanging in mid-air.
To be in the middle of a crowd yet still find no peace of mind-the feeling was both strange and familiar to Deng Chuan. She vaguely remembered having experienced this sometime before.
But perhaps her emotions were affecting her memory. With this empty feeling in her heart, Deng Chuan waited for the flight to Beijing, landed at the capital's airport, and boarded an airport bus heading toward her university.
She leaned against the bus window, gazing out at the neon lights of Beijing. The taillights of cars, moving from far to near, looked like a flowing river of light, taking on a magnificent, hazy, and magical quality under the night sky.
Deng Chuan rested her forehead against the window. There weren't many people on this bus, and it was very quiet around her.
Switching between the noise and the tranquility, she suddenly remembered what this emotion was called: loneliness.
She had a sudden realization, and then thought with a sense of wistful loss-before, love was loneliness. And now, love was still loneliness, and loneliness was missing someone, both within a crowd and outside of it.
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