PSW - Chapter 101
Chapter 101
Chu Yi found this fact hard to accept. If Yu Yinan had told her they were a couple back when Zheng Yi was acting like her usual self, Chu Yi would have absolutely believed and congratulated them. But now?
This was simply too incredible.
This girlfriend, this dating… did it mean what she thought it meant?
These two, no matter how she looked at them, didn't seem like a couple! Perhaps Chu Yi was being presumptuous, but that was truly how she felt.
How could Yu Yinan… no, it should be, how could Zheng Yi agree to date Yu Yinan?
"You two… are a couple?"
When Chu Yi watched Yu Yinan nod with her own eyes, she once again felt a profound sense of surrealism. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. A couple… the probability of her and Yun Lingjian getting together was probably higher than Yu Yinan and Zheng Yi being a couple, right? How on earth did this happen?
What bewildered Chu Yi even more was when Yu Yinan, after a long hesitation, asked her, "If… I want to get closer to Zheng Yi, to take our relationship a step further… what should I do?"
Hold on, she wasn't some kind of relationship guru. Her own love life was a mess. She'd been single her whole life before the apocalypse, and she clearly hadn't made any new progress since it started.
Zhao Haiyue fell silent for a moment. "I don't quite understand what you mean… What stage are you at now? I mean, how far has your relationship… progressed?"
"…Holding hands, hugging, kissing?" Yu Yinan pondered for a moment before giving her answer. She lowered her gaze slightly. "It's almost New Year's. I still have two thousand contribution points. Maybe I can get Zheng Yi a New Year's gift?"
Zheng Yi was very good to her, but in a relationship like this, Yu Yinan always felt that something was missing. Perhaps she should prepare gifts and surprises for Zheng Yi, to express her feelings to her again, better and more sincerely?
"She… has never responded to me. When I tell her I like her, that I love her, she just agrees." Yu Yinan sat up straight, earnestly recounting some of Zheng Yi's reactions during their daily interactions. Then, she looked at Chu Yi like a student, hoping Chu Yi could offer some help.
"…" Not only did Chu Yi have no experience in relationships herself, but even if she did, she would be completely helpless when faced with someone like Zheng Yi. If Yu Yinan, as Zheng Yi's girlfriend, couldn't see through her or understand her true thoughts, how could an outsider possibly offer any effective advice? "But at least she agreed. Maybe it's best to just let nature take its course?"
"How did you two get together? Did you confess?"
"Yes." Yu Yinan recalled the scene, her eyes softening as she spoke softly, "I wanted to be closer to her, to become someone special in her heart… and I told her so. Then, she said she understood."
"And then… she said, let's date."
"Just like that?" Chu Yi felt she must be going crazy, otherwise why would she detect a hint of romance in Yu Yinan's story. She was silent for a moment. "Before Zheng Yi, had you ever dated anyone else?"
"…No, Zheng Yi is the first and only person I've ever liked." Yu Yinan sighed. "So, I don't know what to do either."
"Just let it be. Given Zheng Yi's… personality, from what she showed during the zombie horde, I don't think you can actively do much. However, maybe you could learn some other things?" Chu Yi thought for a moment. She was completely useless when it came to matters of the heart, but for a novice like Yu Yinan, she could offer some help in other areas. But before that… "I have a lot of materials. I can lend them to you for a week. You'll have to cover the charging fees yourself, pay me an extra five hundred contribution points, and swear not to tell a third person about this."
"What kind of materials?" Yu Yinan was taken aback. There were actually study materials for romance? Such a formal way of learning…
"Adult learning materials. Don't worry, they're all lesbian-oriented, and I've categorized them meticulously. Things like delicate and beautiful, rough and props, restraints and bondage… You can take your time watching and learning," Chu Yi said. "Return them to me in a week. Deal?"
It would have been better if Chu Yi hadn't explained. With her explanation, Yu Yinan was even more confused. Why would learning materials be divided into such strange categories? "Delicate and beautiful" sounded relatively normal, but "rough and props"? What did "restraints and bondage" mean? She hesitated, wanting to speak but holding back. It wasn't until Chu Yi impatiently urged her again that she hesitantly handed over her ID card. "So, uh, should I pay you first?"
"Yes, but no rush." Seeing Yu Yinan agree, Chu Yi breathed a sigh of relief. She sized up Yu Yinan, not expecting her to be so innocent. Ah, she couldn't wait to see what would happen when Yu Yinan faced Zheng Yi after watching those materials… Chu Yi thought with a touch of wicked amusement, picturing Zheng Yi's expression.
"I have something I want to ask you, too. I have a friend…" Chu Yi began, then paused, perhaps feeling it was too obvious, and changed her wording. "I have a distant cousin. She likes girls too. She's never been in a relationship, but she has a childhood friend."
Yu Yinan's attention was quickly captured. "Did the childhood friend fall for her? But your cousin won't accept her because of her gender?"
"No! The childhood friend is a girl too. Just listen to me first," Chu Yi organized her thoughts and continued, "They played together since they were little, then went to school together. They were in different majors in university, but at the same school. They've always been very close. Even after graduating and finding different jobs, they were briefly separated for various reasons but always kept in touch. And both of them have always been single, never dated."
"My cousin… has had a secret crush on that childhood friend for a long time. But the friend seems like a straight girl, maybe even asexual. It's like she has no interest in romance at all. Then, the apocalypse came, and they were reunited, seeing each other almost every day. Under these circumstances…" Chu Yi hesitated, pushing up her glasses and repeating, "Under these circumstances, where the future is uncertain and you don't know when you might die, with the person you have a crush on right there every day… should she, or should she not, confess?"
"Why hasn't she ever confessed?" Yu Yinan quickly put herself in the situation, but she was clearly a novice in love herself. Her own passionate feelings were so intense she might as well have ripped out her heart and handed it to Zheng Yi. She was pure and wild, reckless and heedless of consequences. "Doesn't your cousin show any signs of her crush on her childhood friend? What's the friend's attitude?"
"It's just… very normal. They get along like good friends. Her attitude is no different from how she treats any friend, though maybe she takes a little better care of my… cousin?" Chu Yi didn't sound very sure. "As for confessing… after all these years together, a bond forged since childhood, if she really confesses, I'm afraid things could never go back to the way they were. They wouldn't be able to get along like before, right? She-she might not be able to accept that her friend has developed… feelings that crossed a line."
"Besides, it's the apocalypse now. That childhood friend is quite amazing, she was amazing even before the apocalypse. After the apocalypse… there are so many things she can do, so many things she is capable of. She's someone who can truly contribute to the survival of humanity. Her time is very precious. If something like this… caused her trouble, made her conflicted or sad…" Chu Yi bit her lip, lowering her head slightly with a sigh. Her glasses slid down her nose a little. "And she has a really good personality, very considerate of her friends. What if, for the sake of their friendship, for their years of history, she feels too embarrassed to refuse and forces herself… what then?"
Chu Yi was deeply conflicted. Confess? She was afraid of rejection, afraid of being disliked, afraid of troubling her, afraid of her forcing herself, wronging herself, choosing to compromise and accept just for the sake of friendship. But if she didn't confess… and just let things continue as they were, a small part of her would always feel unwilling to accept it.
Especially after learning that even Yu Yinan and Zheng Yi were in a relationship, Chu Yi was clearly hit hard.
"But this is the apocalypse. If you don't confess, the person you love might die without ever knowing how you feel…" Yu Yinan's mood also sank. Back then, if Zheng Yi hadn't discovered that she knew the truth, Yu Yinan would have continued to deceive herself and hide from it. She was naturally someone who chose to escape, but… "Can you accept her being intimate with someone else, even marrying someone else?"
"How could I accept that!" Chu Yi blurted out, realizing a second too late what she'd said. "I mean my cousin!" she added, annoyed.
"Oh, right, I meant your cousin." Yu Yinan's reply was clearly a bit perfunctory. She brushed it off and looked at Chu Yi seriously. "Actually… I don't really understand relationships either. But with so many years of friendship, so much time spent together, and since your cousin says she's a smart person, then… maybe the other person has already noticed something?"
"If your cousin is willing, if she's content to remain friends forever, if she thinks that's enough… then she should just maintain that. But if she's not content, if she knows she'll regret it in the future, then… maybe she can find an opportunity to confess."
"Isn't it almost New Year's? Even though it's the apocalypse, it's the first New Year of the apocalypse. The shelter will probably have some decorations. On a meaningful day like that, she could ask her out for a meal, and seriously, sincerely convey her feelings…" Yu Yinan pressed her lips together. She looked down at her own hand and clenched it into a tight fist, as if cheering Chu Yi on, or perhaps encouraging her past self. She looked at Chu Yi. "Give it a try."
She was a person who liked to run away. She was sensitive, insecure, and cowardly, with seemingly no redeeming qualities. But… that was the old her.
In her time with Zheng Yi, Zheng Yi had constantly praised her, telling her she was good, hardworking, excellent… Even though Yu Yinan knew she was nowhere near as good as Zheng Yi said, she was still encouraged. Most importantly, from Zheng Yi, she had learned to express herself.
Time and again, she seriously and sincerely expressed her thoughts, her affection, her desire to get closer to Zheng Yi, to be more intimate. And almost every time she took the initiative to ask or express something, Zheng Yi agreed.
In certain moments, Yu Yinan was grateful for her own "impulsiveness" and "recklessness."
"Maybe your cousin just needs an opportunity… to be brave for once."
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