BSS - Chapter 42
Chapter 42
That night, Pei Qingyu ended up staying over at the Dengs' house. Tang Lijuan did come home for a bit, but after having dinner with the two of them, she went out again.
Without parental supervision, the two youngsters, who had just started their vacation, watched movies and played games in the room, staying up until midnight.
After showering, Pei Qingyu was the first to flop onto the bed. Seeing Deng Chuan standing by the window in a daze, she said, "Remember to turn off the light when you come over."
Deng Chuan replied with an "Oh," pulled the curtains shut, straightened the blanket Pei Qingyu had haphazardly thrown over herself, and lay down on her side.
Deng Chuan reached out and turned off the light, and Pei Qingyu switched off her phone. The room was instantly plunged into darkness.
Deng Chuan rested her head on one arm, staring into the pitch-black void. The curtains were blackout, making it impossible to even discern the outlines of the room. She pursed her lips, thinking quietly, then suddenly spoke, "…Qingyu, are you asleep?"
"No, what's up?" came the soft reply from the other side of the bed.
"Can we talk for a bit?"
"Haha." Pei Qingyu laughed lightly. "Sure."
"What about?" she asked.
Deng Chuan's voice drifted over from the other side. "Did you know? Last night, Xu Wei and I watched The Tale of Genji."
"Uh-huh… and then?"
"After we finished, I asked her, what is love?"
"She said, 'Love is a process of holding on and letting go.'"
"Hmm… that seems… right."
"I think so too. Because I've endured. In my third year of high school, I had a crush on her, but I couldn't do anything. I watched her every day, and even though I was surrounded by people, I still felt lonely."
"I held back, all the way until after the Gaokao, when it felt like everything finally had a way out. I confessed to her. I told her, don't be afraid, I love you."
"I can feel that she's really indulgent with me. I said that, and she was persuaded. But she's too good. I have nothing right now. I'm afraid she's misplaced her trust in me, and I'm also afraid she doesn't trust me."
"Qingyu, what should I do? I feel so despicable. Xu Wei trusts me so much, yet while I'm telling her I love her, I'm also doubting our future."
Deng Chuan turned over. The night always made people exceptionally brave, and also exceptionally cowardly. She stared into the dark air, shame and unease overwhelming her.
People often say that caring leads to confusion, but they don't realize that love can also make you lose your footing.
"Deng Chuan. When I was in my second year of middle school, my mom was diagnosed with depression," Pei Qingyu said.
"My dad took a leave of absence, completely dropped his work, and took her to Australia to see the ocean."
"This had a huge impact on me. Deng Chuan, I hope we can all meet someone like that. Whether it's Teacher Xu, or even someone else, someone who can always be by your side, no matter what."
"But the person by your side doesn't necessarily have to be the one you like the most," she said.
"You know. I know Su Mian likes me, and I like her too. But I won't date Su Mian. Because, maybe because of my parents' influence, I've always held onto a fantasy about marriage."
"You didn't know, did you? I told Su Mian this." Pei Qingyu let out a very, very soft laugh.
"She said I was disgusting."
Deng Chuan's eyes widened.
"It's true. I think I'm pretty disgusting too. To be talking about love with someone while still thinking about the fallback plan of marrying a man. I can't believe I'm that kind of person."
"Deng Chuan, but that's just how reality is. There are only suitable people, not one-of-a-kind people. The result is the same. There aren't that many 'it has to be her' situations."
Pei Qingyu lay on her back, speaking calmly.
"It's because you don't like her enough," Deng Chuan couldn't help but say.
"What?"
"I can't imagine Xu Wei getting married, and I would never think of letting someone else replace Xu Wei," Deng Chuan said. "Because I really, really like her. It has to be her. It's kind of funny when I think about it. Everything is actually very simple and clear. Just like I thought in my third year of high school. If there's no future, I'll go fight for one, until she no longer has any worries about pushing me away."
"…"
Pei Qingyu tugged at the blanket, a smile secretly forming on her lips. She said, "Alright, then you'd better work hard. I'm so sleepy, I'm going to sleep now."
Deng Chuan turned over. "Okay. Goodnight, Qingyu."
"Goodnight," Pei Qingyu said softly.
The next day, the two of them slept until late in the morning. Deng Chuan had a bit of a headache from staying up late. She leaned against the sofa, phone in hand, chatting with Xu Wei.
Pei Qingyu had cooked some noodles and poked her head out of the kitchen to call her to eat.
Pei Qingyu brought the whole pot of noodles out. Deng Chuan got the bowls and chopsticks, dished out the noodles to let them cool, and in the afternoon, they had to go to the driving school to practice.
Practicing at the driving school meant leaving early and coming back late, spending the entire morning and afternoon baking in the car. Even with sunscreen, it wasn't very effective. Deng Chuan was noticeably tanner, but compared to Pei Qingyu, it was nothing.
Time flew by, and soon it was June 24th, the day the Gaokao scores were released.
Deng Chuan still had to go practice driving that day. She and Pei Qingyu got up bright and early. The car was always kept at the driving school, so to avoid the crowds, they had to stagger their time and practice when there were fewer people.
Around nine o'clock, everyone in the group chat was talking about their scores. Deng Chuan glanced at it a few times and tried to log into the website, which was clearly lagging. Just as she was waiting for the information to load, a call came from Tang Lijuan.
Tang Lijuan called her by her full name. "Deng Chuan."
Deng Chuan answered, waiting for her to continue.
Her heart was beating a little fast. The windows of the practice car were open, but the stuffy, hot air wasn't circulating, and she was sweating a lot.
"704 points, ninth in the province." Tang Lijuan reported the numbers with perfect clarity, her volume suddenly exploding like a firework. "Baby! You're amazing!"
"Yeah…" Deng Chuan let out a sigh of relief, somewhat at a loss for words. "Thanks, Mom."
"You and Qingyu are still at the driving school, right? I'll come pick you up in a bit. Your dad said we have to celebrate properly. The restaurant is already booked."
"…Okay."
Tang Lijuan hung up with a laugh, and Pei Qingyu's text message with her score arrived as well. The two of them instantly lost the will to practice, both glued to their phones sending messages.
When Xu Wei's call came, the class group chat was in the middle of compiling scores.
The student driver had just finished a lap, giving Deng Chuan a chance to get out of the car. She slammed the door with a bit too much force, the sound unsettling her.
"Hello-"
"Deng Chuan?"
"It's me-" Deng Chuan stammered a little. "Teacher Xu- I-"
"The school already knows. You did very well." Xu Wei's voice was gentle. "As expected, wasn't it?"
"Yeah… yeah." Deng Chuan calmed down a bit and said, word by word, "Xu Wei, this is just the first step. From now on, I will work hard on every step in the future."
"I believe in you." Xu Wei paused, then added, "Tonight… I'd like to meet up. Is that convenient?"
"It is," Deng Chuan said immediately.
Xu Wei let out a very soft laugh. "I promised you a reward if you did well. Have you thought about what you want?"
Deng Chuan was silent for three seconds, then said softly, "It's already been cashed in."
Xu Wei understood but still asked, "Think carefully. Is there anything else you want? This offer is only good for a limited time, you know."
Deng Chuan remained stubborn. "There's nothing else." Her tone was certain. "I only want this one thing."
I only want you.
Faced with such stubbornness, Xu Wei's heart softened. She replied gently, "Okay."
Xu Wei still had to compile scores, and Deng Chuan had to deal with calls from her family. They squeezed in a few more words before hanging up.
Tang Lijuan's car arrived soon after. She looked radiant but didn't go around telling everyone about Deng Chuan's Gaokao score. She politely exchanged a few words with the instructor before leading Deng Chuan and Pei Qingyu away.
After dropping Pei Qingyu home and driving towards the booked restaurant, Tang Lijuan finally let loose. As she drove, she said to Deng Chuan, "The admissions offices have been calling the house nonstop. Your dad and I won't make the decision for you. You choose first, and then we can all discuss it properly."
"The whole family has been notified. Your grandpa will probably give you a big red envelope. You should accept it for now, to make the old man happy. Mom will return it to him privately later, understand?"
"I know."
"You've grown up," Tang Lijuan said. "Although the family has never been restrictive with you, from now on, you'll have to experience the responsibilities and freedoms of being an adult on your own."
"Mm."
Deng Chuan's voice was a little muffled. Tang Lijuan glanced at her in surprise and asked, "What's wrong? Honey, don't feel too much pressure- the family just wants you to be happy."
"I'm fine." I just suddenly, really want to see her, Deng Chuan thought.
This time, Lao Deng had booked a private restaurant. With its pavilions, waterside terraces, and winding corridors, it was exquisitely decorated.
The private room was also very secluded, with incense burning and smoke curling upwards. It felt less like a restaurant and more like a teahouse. Most of the family had already arrived. Grandpa sat in the center, looking composed as he listened to the younger generation chat.
When he saw the two of them push the door open, Lao Deng led a round of dramatic applause.
Amidst the applause, Deng Chuan's longing faded, and she found the scene exceptionally comical.
"Our top scorer has arrived-" her cousin announced loudly.
Deng Chuan couldn't help but interrupt, "I'm not the top scorer, Cousin. Just ninth place."
"Ninth place isn't wrong, but you're our family's top scorer, right?" Her uncle held a small pot of wine, gracefully pouring it into a cup. "Come, come- sit next to Grandpa."
Deng Chuan took her seat, and her uncle pushed the wine cup towards her without taking no for an answer. "You're an adult after the Gaokao, you can drink now. For your first time, you should drink good wine. This place's craft brew is quite famous. Try it later."
Her Little Aunt tried to stop him but failed. She could only shoot Deng Chuan a helpless look. "Deng Chuan, you look like you've gotten a tan?"
Her mom added, "Deng Chuan goes to practice driving every day. It's especially sunny in that practice car. Getting tanned like this is already a sign of heaven's mercy."
"Practicing driving?" Her uncle, being unreliable as ever, leaned over again and patted the car keys on the table. "Practice hard. Once you get your license, Uncle will buy you a car as your Gaokao reward!"
Gifting a car might sound extravagant, but given the family's financial situation, it wasn't an unacceptable gift. Seeing her uncle's non-negotiable expression, Deng Chuan could only reply, "Thank you, Uncle."
"Dad, what about me?" her cousin chimed in. "I don't need a new car, a second-hand one is fine."
Her uncle shot him a sidelong glance. "Don't you have a car to drive? - Get lost, you talk nonsense all day long."
Her cousin sat back down, looking wronged.
Seeing that everyone had arrived, Lao Deng went outside to order the food. He came back in, pushing the door open, and said, "The admissions offices are calling so urgently. Deng Chuan, have you thought about what you want to study yet?"
Everyone's eyes turned to her at once. Under the weight of their eager gazes, Deng Chuan pursed her lips and slowly shook her head.
"Tonight, I'll think about it properly tonight."
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