Shrine - Chapter 25
Chapter 25
At nine or ten o'clock, Little Bread, who had eaten her fill earlier, was hungry again. Shi Ran called room service. The restaurant only had some simple Western-style meals.
The two of them ate two scones, not with black tea, but with the hotel's famous cocktails, which were cloyingly sweet and went straight to your head. As Ruan Ruan drank, she watched Shi Ran across from her. She still had those eyes that seemed to disregard everything, the corners slightly upturned, with a halo of light refracted by the liquid, making them even more vivid than they had been in bed just now.
Ruan Ruan blushed again. Only then did she belatedly realize that when Shi Ran said she was "afraid she wouldn't be satisfied," she meant that Ruan Ruan's lack of reaction might leave the "service provider" confused and bewildered, unsure if they were doing it right or well. It would also be difficult to derive any emotional value from it, difficult to be—like Shi Ran—a little happy.
The fact that Shi Ran could consider this for her meant that, without any further explanation, Ruan Ruan knew that in Shi Ran's heart, they were already equals.
"What are you looking at?" Shi Ran asked, raising her eyes.
Ruan Ruan rested her arms on the table, blinked, and suddenly brought up a seemingly unrelated topic: "You said before, when the director of Desire rejected you, what did they say?"
"The first time they rejected you," she added.
Shi Ran pondered for a moment. "They said I have no desire in me, that I couldn't act in this kind of project."
Ruan Ruan propped her chin on her hand. "But, I don't think that's right."
"Hmm?"
"You wanting to act in this drama is your desire. When we were together, your body's reaction was desire. And when we eat, drink… appetite, sexual desire, the will to live—they are all desires. How could you not have any?" Ruan Ruan said slowly.
A flicker of movement crossed Shi Ran's brow.
"Since you have it," Ruan Ruan shook her head unconsciously, "but it can't be seen on you, isn't this…"
Her breath caught, and she lifted her gaze to look directly at Shi Ran. "Isn't this exactly, Desire That Isn't Desire?"
The ring finger of the hand Shi Ran was using to hold her glass twitched.
Ruan Ruan started to smile, a little excited. "Shi Ran, I think your approach is wrong. Don't play someone else. Play yourself."
"I've read the book. The female lead in the story doesn't have a concrete image; she could be anyone. The director might be stuck in a stereotype. Who says that only a hidden desire counts as 'desire that isn't desire'? Does its outward appearance have to be meek and submissive? Does the camouflage for an attack have to be timid and obsequious? Why can't it be indifference, calmness, and disregard?"
Her speech grew faster and faster, and the cheeks she was cupping in her hands turned faintly red.
"This female lead could be you. You don't have to act as someone else at all."
Just like in bed earlier, Shi Ran's silent desire was far more moving than any other form.
Shi Ran silently watched the young woman across from her. The small mole beneath her eye shifted slightly with the movement of her gaze. When she bit her lip and smiled, there was still a hint of avoidance, but when she talked about these things, she had a unique vitality. She was fair-featured, bright, and exceptionally clever.
"Play myself?" Shi Ran had never considered it. She had always been a vessel, and she had never observed herself.
"Perhaps it's not about acting, but being," Ruan Ruan mused. "Have you ever just been yourself on camera? Like in a reality show."
Like her on variety shows, maintaining her own style while integrating the lines into her life.
Shi Ran lowered her gaze. It was clear she was moved—in both senses of the word. By the suggestion, and by the person before her who had made it.
Why was Ruan Ruan such a perfect match for her? Her body, her thoughts, and her sparkling eyes all seemed to cater to her preferences.
Shi Ran was also thinking, why did she desire this role so much? Back when she was in school, she had been drawn to this female lead. Was it possible it was because she had projected a part of herself onto the character?
The Doraemon that fell on the floor, the first taste of carnal pleasure, the highest award in the temple of cinema—these were all her desires. No one knew.
Perhaps in the future, Ruan Ruan would know.
Shi Ran habitually rubbed her wrist, her eyes searching for a laptop. Ruan Ruan saw this and said to her, "Maybe you don't need to revise the character bio. You could just record a casting tape for the director."
When it came to auditions, Shi Ran wasn't as experienced as Ruan Ruan, who had spent years running between crews. Shi Ran had always been cast directly. So, Ruan Ruan helped her in a soft, quiet voice. Shi Ran and the director were already past the script discussion stage; the audition period was for speaking the language of the camera. And the concept of "playing oneself" was too abstract to analyze—it was better to just shoot an audition video directly.
"Now?" Shi Ran raised an eyebrow languidly.
Ruan Ruan pursed her lips into a smile. "If you don't mind, I can film it for you."
There it was again, "If you don't mind." The first time, Shi Ran had thought Ruan Ruan was worried she looked down on her. But after Ruan Ruan had demanded to top, Shi Ran understood. Ruan Ruan was not someone who feared being looked down upon to her very core; she was very brave in fighting for what she wanted.
Therefore, Little Bread was merely feigning retreat to advance. The other party, in order to express that they "didn't mind," would usually not be afraid to trouble her.
About ten minutes later, Shi Ran, dressed in loungewear, sat at the desk. Behind her was a huge floor-to-ceiling window, where the lights of countless homes flickered like stars. She turned her body slightly to the side, adjusting the cuffs of her loungewear to the degree she usually rolled them.
Ruan Ruan set up the room's DSLR camera on a tripod and manned it from two or three meters away.
They had discussed it. No lines were needed. Shi Ran would first do her own work, then take a sip of water, and then raise her eyes to look directly into the camera for five to six seconds.
"Don't move, I'm just going to adjust the camera." Ruan Ruan tucked her hair behind her ear and bent over to adjust the equipment. Her perceptive eyes were extremely serious, and the way she held her breath was very earnest.
"Okay." It was as if she were kissing the equipment's monitor with her breath.
Ambiguity flowed in Shi Ran's eyes for just a second before she lowered her lashes indifferently after the record button was pressed, her expression returning to normal as she worked.
Typing, drinking water, looking at the camera. A sophisticated and coolly detached face glanced over. The hand Ruan Ruan had on the equipment trembled involuntarily, as did her heart.
She bit her lip, watching Shi Ran through the monitor. This was the tension of a top-tier actor's gaze. Their eyes clearly weren't meeting, yet it felt as if they were making eye contact.
Five seconds later, Ruan Ruan called, "Cut." Shi Ran withdrew her gaze, her shoulders and neck relaxing. Ruan Ruan suddenly called out to her, "Shi Ran."
"Hmm?" A profile like the cold moon, but her eyes came alive through the human interaction. The sense of loneliness was shed, and the moon had come down to the mortal world.
"Cut," Ruan Ruan said for the second time, her eyes fixed on the monitor.
Only then was the recording truly finished.
She had selfishly added a short clip of Shi Ran casually responding to someone. She felt it fit the theme of Desire perfectly. Someone off-camera calls her, and it stops there. What does she want? What will she see? It was left for the viewer to embellish with their imagination.
Ruan Ruan straightened up, looked down to press the button and save the file, then handed it to Shi Ran, indicating that she should have her assistant edit it.
She wasn't sure if her idea was any good, but if it could help Shi Ran, she would be very happy.
After filming, the two of them sat on the sofa drinking again. They were now able to be in the same room together comfortably, the kind where silence wasn't awkward. Shi Ran replied to messages on her phone while Ruan Ruan looked through photos of her kitten in her album.
A glance at the time showed it was past eleven. She locked her phone screen and put down her cocktail.
"Going back?" Shi Ran was still replying to messages and didn't look up.
Actually, she didn't have to go back; Ruan Ruan had added food for her kitten before she left. But since Shi Ran hadn't said anything, she didn't feel it was right to stay the night.
"It's late. If you don't have anything to go back for, just stay here," Shi Ran said.
"Okay." Ruan Ruan pressed her lips together and smiled.
She lay over the arm of the sofa, scrolling through Xiaohongshu, waiting until she was sleepy to go take a shower. A few minutes later, however, she heard Shi Ran speak: "Is there anything you want?"
"Huh?" Ruan Ruan blinked, turning her head to the side to look at her.
"You've helped me again," Shi Ran said faintly.
She placed her phone on the coffee table and turned her head to look at her.
"I just thought of it suddenly, it doesn't count as helping you with anything," Ruan Ruan felt a little uncomfortable, the sense of disappointment catching her off guard. "You don't have to keep such a clear tally. Letting me be in Shrine, investing so much money… you've already taken a big loss."
"Don't you have the confidence to make money for me?" Shi Ran gazed at her, her eyelashes overlapping.
An investment certainly involves an exchange of benefits, but Shi Ran had never intended to just throw her money away for fun.
Little Bread had better help her earn it back. And besides, with Green Bud's entry, plus the capabilities of the entire production crew and the publicity team, it wasn't a particularly difficult thing to achieve.
Ruan Ruan was silent, looking at her, blinking once, then again.
Shi Ran withdrew her assessing gaze, letting it circle the coffee table before continuing, "When I asked if there was anything you wanted just now, I wasn't referring to a resource exchange. I just want to give you a gift. Brands have sent a lot of things recently, and I can't use them all."
"A gift?"
"Didn't you say we were besties?" Shi Ran turned her head to look at her coolly and said in a low voice.
Get instant access to all chapters now.
Comments
Post a Comment