Shrine - Chapter 24
Chapter 24
Life doesn't grant much time for self-healing, and Shucheng grants even less. The next morning, Wu Mei rushed off to her scheduled appearance, but not before downing a large cup of black coffee to reduce the swelling. After washing Wu Mei's cup, Ruan Ruan prepared to finish reading the original novel of Shrine today.
The shrine was no longer her shrine; Shrine was. Reading these words every day was no different from burning incense and praying to Buddha in the past.
In both, she was praying, hoping the gods and buddhas would show mercy.
The face in the shrine gradually grew to look like Shi Ran's, sometime around the seventh or eighth time she woke from a dream at midnight.
On a bright and sunny afternoon, she finished the last line and covered her face with the book. The book, warmed by the sun, gave off the fragrance of ink. She heard the people inside calling out "Qiao Qiao," and in her half-awake state, it slipped into her ears as "Ruan Ruan." Putting the book down, she habitually searched her phone for news about the screen adaptation of Shrine, but instead, she came across a video of Shi Ran.
It was Shi Ran at eighteen or nineteen, dressed in black practice clothes, her hair coiled in a high bun. She was pure and lovely, overflowing with a spiritual aura. Back then, she wasn't so stern-faced. She stood on the performance stage with poise, her every glance radiant.
A teacher said something, and she listened intently, the sunlight hitting the bridge of her nose. Her skin looked so delicate it might break at a touch. It didn't feel like an old video, but like something from the dreams of every young person.
Ruan Ruan watched the video four or five times, then read through the comments one by one.
Afterward, she backed out and typed "Shi Ran" into the search bar.
Was she back? Her fans would probably go to the airport to meet her. She wondered what she was wearing today.
A black long-sleeved crop top, light-colored casual pants—a very clean-fit ensemble. She wore no accessories, only carrying the latest D-brand handbag. Wearing a mask, she walked quickly with her head down and got into a car. She never greeted her fans, only giving a slight nod as she closed the car door.
Before she became famous, some marketing accounts had called Shi Ran arrogant. After she established herself, all the major verified accounts said they loved the cold-faced Shi Ran, that it showed an attitude of letting her work speak for itself.
Some had also questioned whether this was a persona created by Shi Ran's team, because if she ever showed a reaction other than her usual world-weariness, the video would quickly go viral and spark massive discussion. The video Ruan Ruan had just scrolled to was from two years ago at an airport. A fan had handed her a Doraemon plushie, and it had fallen right in front of Shi Ran. Shi Ran stopped, looked down at it, then turned to look at Xiao Lin.
Xiao Lin picked it up, then reached out to take a few letters, discreetly tucking them away. "Thank you, thank you all, but please don't crowd," she said.
Shi Ran walked on without saying a word.
Everyone thought the Doraemon had blocked Shi Ran's path and that she only moved on after her assistant cleared it.
Only Xiao Lin knew that Shi Ran thought the plushie was cute and wanted it.
This was life in the spotlight, surrounded by crowds. She couldn't reveal her preferences. If she had reached out herself, at the next airport arrival, and possibly for years to come, everyone would be shoving Doraemon plushies at her. Nor could she bend down to pick something up herself. Someone might get excited and accidentally step on her hand, and proxy photographers would be thrilled by such an angle.
Ruan Ruan hadn't understood back then. Now, after having some interaction with Shi Ran, she could see the want in her eyes and, by extension, understood her helplessness.
She bit her lip and continued scrolling, and Shi Ran's latest candid shot popped up.
The background was extremely familiar—in front of a coffee shop right here in Shucheng. Shi Ran was in the same outfit from the airport, holding a cup of coffee and talking with another actress. The passerby who took the photo wasn't close, so the image was slightly blurry, but it was still clear that after the other person spoke, Shi Ran smiled gently, blinking and tilting her head in a way that was utterly captivating.
For the first time, Ruan Ruan discovered that Shi Ran was someone whose expression could be discerned even with a mask on. Her body language was so good; her sense of relaxation and joy was remarkably keen.
The actress opposite her said a few more words. Shi Ran put her hand behind her back, holding the coffee cup in a reverse grip, and listened to her intently.
It was a gesture few people made. Fans had turned it into a GIF, watching it on repeat, screaming that they wanted to be the cup of coffee spinning slightly in her hand.
At the end of the video, Shi Ran got into a car parked nearby with her coffee, and the other actress followed, returning to the hotel with her.
Ruan Ruan recognized this actress, too. She had just arrived in Shucheng and was filming a historical costume drama at the Qin Palace studio next door.
How to describe her feelings at this moment? There was no disappointment, because she never had the right to feel it. Of course Shi Ran didn't need to report her return to her, and whether Shi Ran invited another actress friend to her hotel had nothing to do with Ruan Ruan.
But yesterday, Xiao Lin had told Ruan Ruan that Shi Ran had to work. She hadn't thought Shi Ran would have the leisure to go out and buy coffee.
Ruan Ruan put down her phone and curled up on the sofa. Two balls of fur, one black and one white, stared at her from the floor. Ruan Ruan reached out to stroke Xiao Hei's head and whispered, "She's even held you before."
Do you know how famous she is?
Xiao Hei didn't know. To her, Shi Ran's appeal was probably less than that of the hair tie Ruan Ruan had just taken off.
Ruan Ruan didn't dwell on it for long. She got up to make dinner. She was halfway through her wontons when she remembered to check her phone. A message from Shi Ran was lying there, sent half an hour ago.
"1."
A string in her heart was abruptly tugged. Ruan Ruan swallowed the food in her mouth and replied, "Sorry, I just saw this. What's up?"
After waiting anxiously for about ten minutes, she received Shi Ran's reply: "Wanted to ask if you'd eaten." It seemed she probably had.
Ah. Ruan Ruan looked at the wontons in her bowl and wanted to spit them out.
"You haven't eaten? Did you want to have dinner with me?"
"Mhm. It's about some work stuff."
Work stuff… Ruan Ruan didn't have many dealings with Shi Ran, so could it be Shrine? Her eyes instantly lit up.
"Can I come find you now?"
"You can."
Without even washing her bowl, Ruan Ruan wiped her mouth with a napkin, rinsed her mouth, and rushed over to Jingyue International.
This time, she went alone. When she reached the exclusive elevator connected to the underground garage, Xiao Lin was already waiting there. She swiped the card for her, then pressed the button for the 8th floor herself. The two chatted for a bit before the elevator stopped. Xiao Lin returned to her room, leaving Ruan Ruan to look up at the ascending numbers as she continued upward.
She rang the doorbell, and Shi Ran opened the door.
It was a strange feeling to suddenly see the person she had just been looking at on screens and online appear right before her eyes. It was as if an ethereal dream had taken physical form. She had to stare for two seconds to confirm that she was real and alive.
Ruan Ruan changed into slippers and went inside. Shi Ran's suitcase was still in a corner of the living room. She fluffed her slightly wavy long hair and picked up the European-style bread from the table to continue eating.
The air smelled of walnuts and taro paste, a milky fragrance. Ruan Ruan sat down on the sofa, sitting up straight, and asked, "What work is it?"
Shi Ran ducked her head to take a small bite of the soft bread, let out a short laugh, and finished eating slowly before saying, "I thought you'd first ask about my audition results."
So utilitarian, Little Bread?
Ruan Ruan felt embarrassed. She was rarely so tactless. Perhaps it was because of what she had seen online just now, which made her subconsciously feel that she and Shi Ran were too far apart, that she shouldn't overstep by asking too much as a friend.
But the way Shi Ran was leisurely chewing her bread put her at ease, so she explained, "I thought that if there was good news, you would tell me."
"There isn't, really."
The director had said it was better than before, but it felt too much like she was playing someone else; the traces of performance were heavier than in any of Shi Ran's previous attempts.
But the director had also given her some reassurance, saying that of all the actresses who had auditioned, Shi Ran was the closest to the character. The implication was that if no one better came along, Shi Ran would most likely get the part.
Ruan Ruan was quite happy for her, a smile tucked into the corners of her mouth.
Shi Ran put down the bread and handed Ruan Ruan a document—a thick white stack with a light green cover adorned with a water-ripple pattern. The moment it came into view, Ruan Ruan knew it was a script. The two characters for Shrine were written on it.
"The author's copyright agreement was signed last month, and the other procedures are mostly done. This is the first draft of the script. It hasn't been revised yet, but you can take a look first."
Ruan Ruan took it, her lips pressed together. She didn't open it, just placed it on her lap, stroking it unconsciously.
"So, has it been decided that it's me?"
Despite having mentally prepared for a long time, her mouth was still dry.
"The production team hasn't approached anyone else," Shi Ran said, her expression faint. "I asked you to come to give you a heads-up for your management company. It'll make the contract negotiations smoother later on."
Ruan Ruan pondered for a few seconds, her palm still caressing the script. "What about Shen Bai? Who is Shen Bai?"
"Someone you know, Zhong Yi."
Zhong Yi… She had also met her on a show two years ago. A very classy girl, the type born with a silver spoon.
She couldn't be a more perfect fit for Shen Bai.
Zhong Yi came from a very wealthy family, and her foray into the entertainment industry seemed almost like a hobby. She wasn't very career-driven, so she had always hovered between the second and third tiers. The occasional times she trended on social media were for things like a reality show revealing one of her nine-figure residences. She hadn't taken any roles in the past two years, and some netizens joked that she had probably gone back to inherit the family business.
In her mind, Ruan Ruan placed a picture of herself next to one of Zhong Yi. The top/bottom dynamic was clear, a great match. She thought the casting was good, except… for the fact that she herself was too much of a flop.
She lowered her head, looked at the two characters for "Shrine," then raised her face and said to Shi Ran in a soft voice, "Don't contact my company yet."
"Hm?"
"My management company doesn't treat me well. I don't want them to make money off this. Wait for me to terminate my contract, then sign with me."
Ruan Ruan added in a calm tone, "And don't reveal any intention of using me for now. My career has been stagnant, so the company should be more willing to let me go."
Shi Ran raised an eyebrow, looking at her delicate features with a hint of surprise.
Many people were like lychees, with a hard exterior hiding an exquisite and translucent sweetness. Ruan Ruan was not. She wrapped herself in a harmless sweetness, but after one taste, you'd find rough little thorns inside.
Her ambition, her selfishness, her rebellious spirit.
In her childhood and youth, Shi Ran had been worn down and hurt by the inscrutable emotions and impenetrable hearts of those around her. But Ruan Ruan was different. Even if she wasn't what she seemed on the surface, she made Shi Ran feel safe, comfortable, and want to know more.
If other people's hearts were a deep abyss where wild beasts roamed, Ruan Ruan's was like a grotto.
If you were to enter by boat, you would find rippling waters and jagged, strange rocks. The air inside would be bone-chillingly cold, but the person in the boat would know that these were merely the crystallization of time, that the grotto would not harm her.
They were intimate for the third time, amidst the soft scent of taro paste.
After finishing the soft European bread from the artisan shop, Shi Ran used her mouth to peel open Little Bread's wrapper. She had first discussed work with Ruan Ruan, then rushed toward desire.
She could feel that Ruan Ruan had missed her, because their lovemaking was both unrestrained and aggrieved. Ruan Ruan lingered repeatedly at the corners of her lips, like a nursing kitten licking by instinct.
After nearly an hour of intimate caresses, Ruan Ruan still felt unsatisfied. She thought about many things during this exchange.
With her eyes closed, she thought about the distance between herself and the Shi Ran at the airport, about the girl who went back to the hotel with Shi Ran, and she even thought of Wu Mei. The script for Shrine was still in the living room, and here she was, in bed with her "patron."
Her chaotic thoughts slowed. Drenched in sweat, Ruan Ruan lay on Shi Ran's neck, her head resting against her shoulder, and called her name in a low voice, "Shi Ran."
"Mhm."
Her lips opened and closed against Shi Ran's skin, something between a kiss and not a kiss.
"Your audition is over, and I'm about to sign the contract. Our brief collaboration of mutual help is over, isn't it?" Ruan Ruan asked in a voice like a murmur.
Shi Ran was quiet for a few seconds, then hummed a faint half-reply from her nose.
"So, the fact that we're doing this again now is just because we both find it pleasurable, right?" Ruan Ruan propped herself up. Her long hair slid down, fine and soft, like silk enveloping her fair body.
Shi Ran instinctively reached out to gather a handful, turning her face to the side and asking with a hint of weariness, "What do you think?"
"I think so." Ruan Ruan captured her gaze. Her own was light and airy, yet it held a hint of assertiveness that was different from before.
Shi Ran looked back at her.
What was she trying to say?
"I'm trying to say," Ruan Ruan sat up, her eyes on the slightly open collar of Shi Ran's pajamas. She swallowed and pressed her lips together. "If that's the case, we're not quite equals."
Her calf was entwined with Shi Ran's. With a slight rub, she looked up into her eyes.
Thump, thump, thump. She heard the sound of her own heartbeat. The tide began to swell, crashing against the reef again and again. Just voicing the thought was enough to make her lose control.
She just felt that it shouldn't be like this, that it shouldn't be a one-sided seeking and tasting. If they were bed partners for mutual pleasure, both parties should get something.
Although the idea of possessing Shi Ran was something she hadn't dared to think of just a quarter of an hour ago.
But she wanted to give her self-respect a chance, to not sink lower and lower in this relationship. If Shi Ran got used to looking down to find her, she would always look down at her in the future.
Shi Ran smiled, then sat up to face Ruan Ruan directly. "What do you want to do to me?" she asked.
Her voice was husky, and with just a few words, she snapped Ruan Ruan's thread of reason.
Then Shi Ran lowered her eyes coolly and said in a slow, deliberate manner, "I might not… satisfy you very much."
With that second sentence, her seven words sent Ruan Ruan's heart into a frenzy. A monstrous wave crashed over, so powerful the reef itself couldn't stand firm.
The very fact that Shi Ran was even thinking about whether she would satisfy Ruan Ruan was enough to throw one's senses into chaos.
Ruan Ruan cautiously leaned in, softly kissing Shi Ran, who was like pristine snow, from the side of her neck to her shoulder. Shi Ran was very different when she was being pursued. She just sat there quietly, her breathing gentle and even, not even a single eyelash trembling.
Seeing her like this, Ruan Ruan inexplicably couldn't bring herself to use her hands.
She had Shi Ran sit on the edge of the bed while she knelt on the carpet, caressing her and kissing her at the same time. Deep within the snow, there was also a clear spring, carrying a crisp fragrance that lingered at the explorer's nose.
Shi Ran's body pulled back slightly, her hands propped behind her. Her long hair draped over her shoulders as she turned her face to the side, quietly gazing at a sculpture in the corner of the room.
She made no sound, no extra movements. If Ruan Ruan hadn't tasted the snowmelt, she would have almost thought Shi Ran was just spacing out.
Finally, Shi Ran raised a hand and gently ruffled Ruan Ruan's hair, her voice soft, as if muffled by snow. "That's enough."
Then her fingertips brushed past Ruan Ruan's earlobe, lingering for a brief moment.
Without anyone needing to tell her, Ruan Ruan knew when to stop, because the tip of her own tongue had trembled. She said nothing, reining in her chaotic heartbeat as she pulled out a tissue and lowered her head to wipe her mouth.
She was blushing. It was hard to imagine. The silent Shi Ran was like a mermaid clinging to the hull of a boat from beneath the water. Everyone says a siren's voice is the most bewitching, but only those who have truly seen one know that once you meet her eyes, you can't escape.
Her silence was a thousand times more captivating than any sound in the world.
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