Against the Light - Chapter 36
Chapter 36: Ten Days
Gu Xinran walked over to Qin Qiong. "Make the emotion more intense. It's okay to get physical," she whispered.
"Okay."
Gu Xinran pulled over a stool and sat down. After a slight adjustment, she gradually found her way into the character.
Her gaze was vacant, staring straight ahead, yet the corners of her lips held a strange, satisfied smile, though it was unclear what she was smiling about.
Qin Qiong had worked with her before and knew she got into character quickly, so she didn't dare to be careless and immediately found her own focus.
She took two steps back, then strode forward angrily, her chest heaving with rapid breaths. She pointed at Little Four. "What are you doing running around with nothing better to do! Is it fun making so many people search for you everywhere, causing trouble for everyone!" she demanded, almost roaring.
The onlookers were startled by her intensity, and they all gasped in unison.
Gu Xinran raised her eyebrows slightly and lowered her head, not daring to look at her. Her left hand nervously picked at the edge of the chair.
"Do you have any idea how much of my time you've wasted looking for you?" Qin Qiong poked her shoulder in anger, her eyes wide and glaring, looking as if she was about to strike her.
"Do you think I'm as idle as you? That I don't have to go to work? You're still smiling? How do you have the nerve to smile? If it weren't for you, Mom wouldn't have sent us away. You made us lose our family, and now you expect us to take care of you. On what grounds?!" The more Qin Qiong spoke, the more agitated she became. She angrily threw her handbag at her, and along with the bag, a small yellow piece of cake fell to the floor!
When Gu Xinran saw the cake fall, her face filled with panic. She squatted down without any regard for her image to pick up the cake.
Qin Qiong grabbed her wrist. "What is this?" When she saw what it was, she exploded again.
Gu Xinran frantically shook off her hand and cupped the cake in both hands as if it were a treasure. Seeing that it was covered in dust, she anxiously tried to clean it with clumsy hands, blowing on it and wiping it with her clothes.
"Have I not fed you? Or is your precious stomach starving? Huh?"
Seeing her squatting on the ground, Qin Qiong tried to pull her up but failed, so angry she pressed a hand to her forehead.
In truth, however, she didn't know how to continue the scene. We agreed on one line, so say it already!!
The room was very quiet. In a daze, Qin Qiong thought she heard Gu Xinran muttering something. Puzzled, she squatted down and leaned closer, faintly hearing the words, "It's dirty… Sister… can't eat it now…"
Qin Qiong's eyes shot up, her heart jolting! That one sentence instantly threw her back into the character's childhood! That time, their father had brought home a small cake, and each of the four sisters got a small piece. The other three ate theirs right away, but she saved hers, wanting to savor it. But Little Four found it and ate it, making her furious. She went to their mother to complain, but their mother just said that Little Four didn't know any better and was still young, so she should let her little sister have her way. She couldn't accept it and argued with Little Four, almost hitting her, and was even spanked by their mother for it! She had a temper, and after that, she was so angry she never ate cake again.
Qin Qiong was fully in character. She closed her eyes, an indescribable sense of oppression welling up inside her. It felt like years of grievances had suddenly found an outlet.
The three other actresses watching were completely bewildered, especially when they noticed that the crew members were all visibly moved! Some even had tears in their eyes! But they had no idea what was so special about that piece of cake.
Qin Qiong hadn't broken character; instead, she became even more immersed. She took the cake from Gu Xinran's hands and looked at it. "I hate cake more than anything." But her eyes couldn't help but turn red.
The way Zheng Ying looked at Gu Xinran changed completely. She put down the script and took a quiet breath. This actress could actually improvise by connecting to the character's backstory, hitting the nail directly on the head. She was so experienced!
She glanced sideways at the big shot pretending to be asleep next to her. The woman wasn't pretending anymore; she had lifted the brim of her hat, her face a mixture of pleasant surprise and disbelief.
"Director, I'm finished." Gu Xinran stood up, helping Qin Qiong to her feet as well. The woman had actually started crying for real. She patted Qin Qiong's back.
"Sister Ran, are you okay? I'm sorry about just now." Qin Qiong glanced at her arm. The exposed part of her forearm was red where the handbag had hit her.
"It's fine. I'll get you back," Gu Xinran said with a smile, looking down at her arm.
"…You don't have to hold a grudge, do you?"
The two looked at each other and smiled.
"Uh… you… you did well. Go home and wait for our call." Zheng Ying hesitated for a moment, a conflicted look on her face. She glanced at the person beside her. Why isn't she reacting… It would be such a shame to let such a good actress go…
"Okay." Gu Xinran noticed the director's strange expression but didn't say much. She nodded and turned to leave.
"Come back tomorrow for the second audition!" Just as she reached the door, she heard Zheng Ying call out urgently.
Gu Xinran smiled faintly and glanced back at her. "Thank you, Director."
"Sister Ran? How did it go? Did my cake come in handy?" Fang Jinghai had a small piece of cake in her mouth. The moment she saw Gu Xinran come out, she shoved the whole thing in her mouth and swallowed, nearly choking.
"It was a great success."
"Heh, that's great!"
The two walked out together. Out of the corner of her eye, Gu Xinran saw a girl wiping a camera by herself.
The person looked a little familiar.
She paused to watch for a moment. The person saw her, shot her a glance, and turned her back.
Gu Xinran's lips curved up. This person seems to hold a bit of a grudge against me.
She gave up the idea of striking up a conversation and left with Fang Jinghai.
In the car, Gu Xinran called Qu Qi to report on the situation, then asked if Qu Qi knew a director named Zheng Ying. The answer was no.
After hanging up, she rested her right hand on the car door, fiddling with her hair. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something odd about this production crew.
"Zheng Ying?" Fang Jinghai muttered.
Gu Xinran raised an eyebrow. "You know her?"
"Oh, not really. I just think the name is interesting."
"Hm?"
"Ha, if you read it backward, isn't it Ying Zheng!"
"…" Gu Xinran's mouth twitched slightly. "Are you comparing her to the first emperor?"
"Hehe~"
Back at the Sisters set, crew members were coming out of the break room, still discussing Gu Xinran's performance.
"It's so strange. How did her acting improve so much? That line just now almost made me cry! She's so good at hitting the key points!"
"Yeah, she's countless times better than the first three!"
"Hey, hey, don't be fooled. Don't forget she's the enemy of our entire crew!"
"Did you guys watch the variety show she was on a few days ago? I thought variety shows were always a bit exaggerated, but after seeing her today, her acting is genuinely amazing!"
"Hey, Su Yu, why didn't you go in to watch?" A group of people came out laughing and saw Su Yu holding her camera alone, looking indignant.
"Why would I go watch my enemy?"
"Oho, what's this? Still feeling sorry for your Teacher Bai?"
"The grudge of having one's wife stolen is irreconcilable!"
"Hahaha~"
For the next few days, Gu Xinran was busy with auditions. To avoid suspicion, she would be fully disguised every time she went to the film base, carefully avoiding any cameras.
One thing took her by surprise. After passing the second round of auditions, this production actually had a third round!?
After nearly a week, the three rounds of auditions were finally over. With her outstanding acting skills, she successfully landed the role. She signed the contract that very day, along with a non-disclosure agreement, promising not to publicly mention anything about the production before the official announcement.
That day, Gu Xinran was so exhausted she skipped dinner and went to bed early.
She was sound asleep when she was jolted awake by a barrage of calls from Qu Qi. She picked up her phone and saw it was only eleven o'clock. She answered irritably, but before she could speak…
"What did you do, what did you do, what did you do?! Ahhh!!!" Qu Qi's shriek came from the other end.
The sound made Gu Xinran's ears ring. She pulled the phone away and rubbed her ear. "What happened?"
"How did you get into Teacher Yu's crew?! Ahhh! When did you audition? How could you keep something so huge from me!!!"
"What?" Gu Xinran was completely bewildered. She glanced at her phone, switched from the call screen, and opened Weibo.
When she saw the top trending topic, for a moment, she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her!
【Official Announcement! Gu Xinran to Star in Yu Hua's New Drama】
Me? Star in? Yu Hua's? New drama?
She recognized every word, but when put together, she had no idea what they meant.
When did I audition for Teacher Yu's project? This Teacher Yu seems to be a big deal.
Wait! Not just a big deal!!!
Gu Xinran suddenly remembered. The play she performed in the finale of A Good Show, Liu Su, was a work by this very Director Yu Hua. Not only had that work won numerous awards, but Yu Hua herself had won the Best Director award from a prestigious industry authority for it!
And!
This Director Yu Hua was also… Yilan's mentor!
Gu Xinran took a deep breath and quickly clicked on the Weibo post. It was a message posted by the official account of Yu Hua's production team just half an hour ago.
【Yu Hua Official Weibo: The new drama Sisters has officially started production. All four female leads were personally selected by Director Yu. Their looks and acting skills are definitely proportional! Don't believe it? Look at the picture!】
Below was a poster with a generally somber style. The four female leads each wore a sorrowful expression, their faces directly conveying a faint sense of depression.
And among them, Gu Xinran and Qin Qiong were listed!
Gu Xinran was stunned for a long while before it finally dawned on her. The small, shabby production she had been auditioning for was actually… Director Yu Hua's crew!! The picture showed her in costume with a gloomy expression, which must have been taken during the third audition when they were asked to wear costumes and do a blocking rehearsal.
No wonder an unknown little production required three rounds of auditions!
No wonder she always felt that the people in that crew held a strange, inexplicable hostility towards her. It was said that Director Yu Hua was particularly fond of her student, Yilan. When she and Yilan divorced, Director Yu Hua had been furious. The crew members were also close with Yilan, so it made sense that they wouldn't like her.
Thinking back now, although Director Yu Hua had never shown her face during the auditions, that mysterious person who kept their face covered and pretended to be asleep had never missed a single one!
A belated sense of excitement washed over Gu Xinran!
"Hello? Hello? Xinran?" Qu Qi called out from the other end.
"Yes, I'm here."
"Is this the drama you've been auditioning for? That unremarkable little production?"
"Yes, that's the one."
"Hiss! Your instincts are incredible. You randomly picked a script and it turned out to be Teacher Yu's project? And Teacher Yu is really something else, being so secretive about her new drama. If she hadn't posted on Weibo, no one would have known she was preparing a new project. My social feed has exploded, and all the manager group chats are talking about this." Qu Qi's tone was exceptionally excited, as if a giant meat pie had fallen from the sky and landed right on her face!
"Hey, I think I'll have to start calling you Sister Ran from now on. And I should thank you for not becoming a manager, or you would've kicked me out of my job!"
Gu Xinran didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Alright, I'm hanging up."
"Okay, you get some rest~"
After hanging up, Gu Xinran scrolled through Weibo for a while. Her initial joy gradually faded as her expression changed.
She remembered what she had said to convince Qu Qi to let her audition for this small production, and she had a sinking feeling that her words had become a prophecy…
She had said that she had too many enemies, and if she joined a major production, she would inevitably be targeted by jealous people.
But what she had joined now was more than just a major production; it was a colossal one…
And Yu Hua was Yilan's mentor. No matter how she thought about it, this situation was ripe for exploitation!
Just as she had that thought, another notification popped up on Weibo.
【Underhanded Deal! Gu Xinran Suspected of Using Connections to Get into Yu Hua's Crew!?】
Gu Xinran narrowed her eyes. Speak of the devil. She quickly clicked on it and saw that it was an analysis post.
【Deep Dive Today: I'm an industry insider, here's a rational analysis. Bai Yilan's production is about to wrap up, and Director Yu's new project is starting. The timing is very convenient. If I'm not mistaken, Bai Yilan will probably join Director Yu's crew, ostensibly to learn or help out, but actually to… you know… with Gu Xinran. Gu Xinran's reputation was terrible before, and now that it's finally improving a little, she needs to quickly burnish her image and make a comeback. Her acting is indeed good, but I really don't believe she could get into Director Yu's crew without Bai Yilan's help. After she successfully burnishes her reputation, the two will probably get back together. But we can't rule out the possibility that Gu Xinran is using Bai Yilan. To be honest, Bai Yilan is a bit love-brained. Although Gu Xinran's acting has improved, her character is still questionable. After all, an actor can never show their truest self in front of the camera.】
Gu Xinran was about to explode with anger after reading it. This person was spouting complete nonsense and calling it a rational analysis!? Who gave them the nerve!
She scrolled down to the comments and became even more furious.
【I'm seriously begging Teacher Bai not to be foolish. Acting skills don't equal good character. Even if Gu Xinran's acting is better and she didn't cheat, her various immature actions really don't make her worthy of Teacher Bai. Please don't fall for the same scumbag twice, ahhh!!】
【Pulling strings with Teacher Yu for Gu Xinran? Isn't that incredibly stupid of Bai Yilan? She's willing to trust a scumbag and screw over her own mentor?】
【Gu Xinran isn't a scumbag! She didn't cheat or have a change of heart, she just acted a bit childishly. Haven't you ever been childish? Were you born mature, steady, and calm in the face of everything?】
【Gu Xinran has changed a lot, and she's innocent. Can you all open your eyes before you speak! This just makes you look brainless! Like idiots!】
【If Bai Yilan goes back to her, I'm officially unstanning.】
【Wait, I'm just wondering, what does their private family matter have to do with any of you? Would them getting back together be a crime against humanity??】
【^This. A bunch of people with too much time on their hands meddling in other people's business.】
【Just a bunch of haters who can't stand to see others do well, right?】
Gu Xinran put down her phone and closed her eyes. She remembered her past life. After her and Yilan's same-sex relationship was exposed, they were met with a deluge of accusations and curses! It was as if their actions had harmed everyone's interests, as if their very existence was an offense against nature!
It was infuriating, yet helpless.
This time, Yilan had done nothing, yet once again, she was being dragged into a storm of criticism because of her. On what grounds!
As Gu Xinran seethed, another Weibo notification popped up.
【Director Yu Publicly Responds to Doubts!】
She clicked on it and saw the latest post from Yu Hua's official Weibo account.
【Yu Hua Official Weibo: Preparations for Sisters were only known to the core members of the crew and were not disclosed beforehand. Furthermore, when selecting actors, we held auditions under the guise of an unknown small production. Director Yu never appeared in person. Feel free to watch the audition clips. If you have a problem, speak up. Don't just whisper behind our backs.】
Below the post was a video, a montage of the actors' audition clips.
Seeing this, a warmth spread through Gu Xinran's heart. At least Director Yu was willing to speak up for her.
Gu Xinran didn't sleep all night. She thought about many things.
She thought about her wife, their warm home, Xiao Ye, and… her wife's death, the collapse of their happy family, and how she was separated from her beloved forever.
She had been avoiding these thoughts ever since she came to this world, especially after getting to know this world's Yilan. She didn't dare to reminisce.
She had told this world's Yilan, "I hope you can break free from your inner turmoil and reignite your passion and love for life."
But wasn't she herself also tightly bound by that same invisible hand?
Forty years, and not for a single moment could she break free!
Only when looking at this world's Yilan could she let her heart be completely empty, could she forgive herself, could she feel the meaning of being alive.
She turned and looked at the piano in the middle of the living room. When she first saw it, an image of Yilan had appeared in her mind. She saw Yilan sitting at the piano, playing with earnest concentration. A warm light emanated from her, her profile serene and beautiful, the corners of her lips curved into a faint smile. She didn't—and didn't want to—distinguish whether this was her wife or this world's Yilan. She only felt that seeing this figure made the whole world seem more beautiful.
She thought that it must be the same for Yilan.
In a way, wasn't she also Yilan's salvation?
Unconsciously, they were both trying to use this body as a substitute for that person. They were deceiving themselves, hoping for a momentary release.
But in the end, they only loved the shell of the other person.
Bai Yilan hadn't slept all night either.
No, not just one night. She had been suffering from insomnia for over a week!
The night she taught Xinran to play the piano, she had a dream. She dreamt of arguing with Xinran, and after the argument, she saw Xinran curled up in a corner, crying silently.
After that night, every time she fell asleep, she would dream of Xinran. Sometimes she dreamt of their sweet, loving past; other times she dreamt of the current Xinran shining on stage. The two Xinrans constantly intertwined and argued in her mind. Sometimes they became one person, other times they were two opposing individuals, tormenting her to the point where she developed a visceral fear of sleeping.
Her phone rang. It took Gu Xinran a moment to pick it up. When she saw the "1" on the caller ID, her gaze froze.
She took a deep breath and answered.
"Hello?"
"Yilan? Did you… see Weibo? I'm sorry, I didn't expect…"
"Are you free to meet tonight?" Yilan's tone was calm, but beneath the calmness was a hint of weakness that made Gu Xinran frown.
"Yes. Are you, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Bai Yilan hung up as soon as she finished speaking.
Gu Xinran stared at her phone screen, her brow tightly furrowed.
In the evening, Gu Xinran went to the small garden opposite her apartment. She remembered this was where Yilan had tricked her into revealing her identity by claiming it was where they first met.
She walked toward the pond, her steps gradually slowing until she came to a stop.
Yilan was leaning against a tree, staring blankly at the pond.
Gu Xinran watched her quietly for a while, not wanting to disturb her.
"Ten days from now is her birthday," Bai Yilan murmured, as if to herself.
"What?" Gu Xinran was taken aback. After a moment's thought, she realized Yilan meant that in ten days, it would be the original host's birthday.
She slowly walked to Yilan's side, a puzzled look on her face.
"I want to ask you for a favor." Bai Yilan looked up. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was haggard, a sight that instinctively pained Gu Xinran.
"Go on."
"I want to spend her birthday with her."
Gu Xinran's brow furrowed sharply. "What do you mean, 'spend her birthday'? What about after that? What are you planning to do!?"
"I don't want to spend every free moment thinking about who you are and where she is. What the difference is between you and her, why something like this happened between you two… I don't want to look at you and think of her anymore." Her voice was heavy with exhaustion, and her state was deeply worrying.
"What do you want?"
"I don't want to distinguish between you two anymore. You, or her. For these ten days, at least, I want to live in peace."
Gu Xinran didn't know what had happened to her, but she could feel her helplessness.
"And after ten days?" Gu Xinran looked at her with a serious expression.
"We'll be strangers."
Gu Xinran was silent for a moment, unconsciously clenching her fists.
"I can agree to that. For these next few days, I'll drop everything and stay by your side. You can let down your guard and treat me as anyone you want. But you have to promise me that no matter what happens between us in the future, you won't do anything foolish."
Bai Yilan looked up at her. After a long pause, she managed a strained smile. "Thank you."
As she turned to leave, Gu Xinran grabbed her arm. "Promise me!"
Bai Yilan looked at her hand, then slowly nodded.
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