PSW - Chapter 46
Chapter 46
The warm white rice was pleasantly chewy and soft. Paired with a can of hot pot and another of braised lean pork, the meal was simply blissful.
Zheng Yi ate in silence, and Yu Yinan did the same, quietly eating alongside her.
"I don't plan on staying here long." Once she'd had her fill, Zheng Yi ignored the large portions of food still left and wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Do as you please."
Yu Yinan didn't ask why. She simply said, "I'll follow you."
"You haven't seen me when I'm killing people."
"I can see it," Yu Yinan said in a low voice. "As for those wicked people, even if you were to flay them, grind their flesh to a pulp, and hang their skins on a banner, I could accept it."
"Mm." Zheng Yi raised an eyebrow slightly but didn't press the point. "Humanity's Light Shelter is actually a good place. Regardless of anything else, their current ideals are lofty, their original intentions are good, and they've shouldered their responsibilities as best they can, doing everything in their power to help people survive."
Yu Yinan, however, just gazed at her gently. It was hard to tell if she'd even taken the words in. The moment Zheng Yi finished speaking, she immediately said, "I'll follow you."
[...Did you push her too far?] Zero One thought. What is going on! It couldn't believe words like "flay" had come from Yu Yinan's mouth. Zheng Yi hadn't even tortured anyone like that!
[Are you going to take her with you? Not only is Yu Yinan accepting of you now, but she still believes in your persona.] Although Zero One didn't know how Yu Yinan had managed to convince herself, the result was clear: she was contributing Saint Points and fully endorsed Zheng Yi. There wasn't the slightest sign of Zheng Yi's persona crumbling.
'Thirty Saint Points a month. Why wouldn't I?'
"You're not going to ask where I'm going?" Zheng Yi used her ability to clean the dishes, set the unfinished cans on the table for the time being, and turned to ask her.
"I have nowhere else to go anyway," Yu Yinan said softly. She didn't care in the slightest where they were headed.
After tidying up, Zheng Yi decided to go out for a walk. Yu Yinan quietly followed.
They walked one behind the other, with Zheng Yi in the lead and Yu Yinan trailing silently behind her.
Zheng Yi could get a new vehicle. She could use Saint Points to buy one from the system store and use it immediately without having to explain anything to Yu Yinan. But she didn't have enough Saint Points.
"Will you always believe that I'm a Saint?"
"What are you talking about?" Yu Yinan smiled, her gaze on Zheng Yi incredibly gentle. "You are a Saint. Whether I believe it or not, that's what you are."
Zheng Yi froze for a second, then burst out laughing. Interesting. The Yu Yinan of this moment was far too interesting, and far too much to her liking.
She was extremely pleased with that answer.
She turned, affectionately linked her arm through Yu Yinan's, and leaned against her. "Jiejie, you're just the best~" she chirped.
Yu Yinan lowered her eyes. She looked into Zheng Yi's dark pupils, perceived the smile that didn't quite reach them, and smiled in return, pressing her lips together. Her fervent, almost infatuated gaze drifted from Zheng Yi's eyes to the tip of her nose, then down to her thin lips. Yu Yinan still remembered Zheng Yi's madness during that hazy, heart-piercing pain. She remembered how those red lips, stained with blood, had been so soft and warm that even the metallic tang had become intoxicating.
What was this feeling of 'like'? Yu Yinan still couldn't define it. What other people described was always different from her own experience.
But if 'like' was the unwillingness to be apart, the willingness to be deceived, the turmoil in her heart, a craving etched into her very bones... then she supposed she must like her.
She craved Zheng Yi.
This feeling had come out of nowhere, with no preamble, catching her completely off guard and pulling her into its depths. If you asked Yu Yinan to analyze herself, to explain just how she had fallen for her, she wouldn't be able to give a clear answer. But time and again, her heart had softened. Time and again, she had reflected, then fled into self-deception. Time and again, she had suppressed the turmoil in her heart, craving more contact, yet never daring to initiate it.
She had never been good at handling any kind of relationship.
But she was willing to accept it, to bear it, to stay by her side. She had already experienced too many unattainable affections—fleeting, false little things that had once existed. So it didn't matter. She was used to it. When it came to matters of the heart, she was probably always the one who got hurt, no matter the type of relationship.
So, let her be the only one who gets hurt.
She watched Zheng Yi gently, watched as Zheng Yi once again called her "Jiejie" in that sweet voice, hugging her arm and swaying it playfully. She watched as Zheng Yi pulled her along on a stroll through the shelter, so lively and happy she seemed like a different person, even starting to haggle with a shopkeeper.
I've long known that what you show on the surface isn't who you are inside.
But with all this truth and falsehood, why bother drawing a clear line?
Yu Yinan watched Zheng Yi's back, unconsciously raising a hand to her own chest. Her heart was still beating. She suddenly quickened her pace and came up beside Zheng Yi. She saw Zheng Yi glance at her, a little bewildered, but when she didn't say anything, Zheng Yi simply freed one hand to take hers and went back to haggling with the shopkeeper over a few contribution points.
She was willing.
And she would gladly endure it.
Although Zheng Yi had said she didn't plan to stay long, she didn't leave right away. After all, she'd earned so many contribution points and needed to spend them.
Yu Yinan took her to see the women from the raiders' former camp. They weren't housed with the general population of the shelter; instead, a separate area had been designated for them, with several new tents set up so they could stick together for support and live in the same area.
With the help of healing-type ability users, some of the women who had suffered miscarriages were recovering well physically. The psychological trauma, however, remained—something they would have to overcome on their own.
Aside from their living quarters and initial medical treatment, the shelter gave them no special privileges. To survive, they still had to work within the shelter to earn contribution points. Zhu Lanyuan, however, would often bring them food and water.
One day, just as Zheng Yi and Yu Yinan were finishing a breakfast of rice porridge in the cafeteria, a commotion erupted within the shelter. A number of ability users were rushing over, their faces alight with excitement as they joined the crowd to watch. "Is it a fight?"
"A fight's broken out! A fight's broken out!"
"Hasn't anyone in charge shown up yet?"
"Nope, not yet! Come on, hurry! You'll miss it if you're late!"
Hearing this, Zheng Yi stopped and pulled Yu Yinan toward the commotion.
Within the human wall of onlookers, the ground was scattered with flower petals and candles arranged in the shape of a heart. A bouquet of flowers had been thrown to the side. A well-dressed man, his face now twisted in a ferocious snarl and his neck flushed red, was pointing at the woman opposite him and screaming, "Who doesn't know what you all went through while you were missing for so long? Wu Dailing, don't you dare trample on my sincere feelings! I'm still willing to marry you, even now! I still love you! Don't be so ungrateful!"
Wu Dailing? Zheng Yi looked at the other main party in the incident; it was an unfamiliar face. She must be one of Zhu Lanyuan's female teammates, right? An ability user... Zhu Lanyuan's ability is powerful and unique, so she didn't let Tang Zhengming get his way, but as for her squad members... it's unclear.
Still, how was this considered a major incident?
"Do you have any idea how hard fresh flowers are to come by these days? Do you know how much effort I put into arranging all this? Wu Dailing, I'm serious about you! I love you! I don't hold what happened against you!"
Wu Dailing just watched his tantrum with a cold expression. "I've already rejected you."
She paid no mind to the other male ability users in the crowd pointing and sizing her up. She didn't even react when one of them suddenly laughed, turned to whisper to his companion, and the two of them broke into lewd grins.
She waited for the man to finish his tirade, intending to leave through the crowd. But he suddenly lunged forward like a madman and grabbed her wrist. "Don't you get it? I don't hold it against you! I love you!"
"Don't disgust me." Wu Dailing wrenched her hand free, her face filled with revulsion. "Don't force me to use my ability inside the shelter."
Her words, however, seemed to strike a nerve. He flew into a rage. "Disgusting? Use your ability? Ha! Why didn't you use it when you were captured? You, Qi Lingshu, Zhu Lanyuan—you've all been used and thrown away! You're nothing but a bunch of worn-out sluts passed around by who knows how many men, and you have the nerve to call me disgusting?"
Just as Wu Dailing's expression changed and she was about to attack, a stream of black, corrosive liquid instantly parted the crowd. Zhu Lanyuan strode through, grabbing Wu Dailing's hand and pulling her behind her. She looked up at the raving piece of trash. "Wake up. This is the apocalypse."
"Do you still think this is the world before the apocalypse? Or some ancient dynasty? Who the hell do you think you are? With your level of strength, I could kill ten of you."
"Moral blackmail? Slut-shaming? Victim-blaming? Hah." Chu Yi's pupils turned a pure, deep purple as she strode forward. She sneered, "Hold it against them? Are you even worthy?"
"What are you all crowding around for? Disperse!" Chu Yi barked. "Got too many contribution points to burn? The zone-clearing missions have been expanded. If you've got nothing better to do, get out on patrol!"
As soon as Chu Yi arrived, the gawking ability users scattered. Some had been there for Wu Dailing's drama, others for the man's.
"That's hilarious. I know that kid. He can barely kill a zombie, yet he has the gall to point at an ability user's face and talk about not holding things against her? I could hear his social-climbing ambitions all the way from Qiding!"
"He kept saying he didn't hold it against her, but every word dripped with condescension. He's got it all figured out, hasn't he? Trying to pull that pre-apocalypse crap now? Female ability users aren't so easy to push around."
"I was just here for the show, but is that guy insane? He gets rejected and starts lashing out like that. Insulting Qi Lingshu is one thing, but he even dared to curse out Zhu Lanyuan?"
"I'll bet you that kid won't dare to set foot outside the shelter from now on."
Joking amongst themselves, it was clear many of the ability users didn't really care about what had happened to Zhu Lanyuan's team. Even if some of them secretly shared the man's opinion, they wouldn't dare say it aloud.
Making an enemy of another ability user could get you killed out in the Wasteland. So what if Zhu Lanyuan and the others had been violated? As long as they still had their powers and their strength, people had to show them respect. And that was without even mentioning how terrifyingly lethal Zhu Lanyuan's ability was.
Who would want to get on her bad side?
"Don't be rash. Don't attack him here. If you do, you'll be the one in the wrong," Zhu Lanyuan murmured, comforting her teammate with an arm around her shoulder. "The next time he accepts a mission, we'll accept one too. As for the ones in the crowd who were jeering and gossiping, I've memorized their faces. We can identify them later."
"...Zhu Jie, when have I ever cared about stuff like that? Before the apocalypse, I went through boyfriends more often than I went through clothes." Wu Dailing rubbed her wrist and pursed her lips. "It's just getting pestered by someone like him that's so damn annoying."
"But it's the girls without abilities I'm worried about. If they can't move past this..." Wu Dailing sighed, letting her sentence trail off.
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