PANT - Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Shi Ning had transmigrated.
She stood in the hotel room, repeatedly opening and closing the bathroom door to check the situation. She examined the view from the window outside with a seriousness that would rival a crime scene investigation. After going through this routine several times, Shi Ning, the great lawyer, confirmed it: she had transmigrated.
And it had happened right as a hookup was getting started. She had gone into the bathroom to shower, scrubbed her fingers clean, and was all set and ready to go. The moment she opened the door, she transmigrated.
Shi Ning looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was wrapped in a white bathrobe that revealed the black lace underneath. She confirmed that the body was indeed her own; the small black mole on her collarbone was still there. Even the garter stockings she wore had been put on to accommodate her partner's particular tastes for the evening.
Yes, it was definitely her.
The bathroom was even the same one from her previous world. The finger cots Shi Ning had prepared were sitting brazenly on the washstand, the paper box still sealed. She had even brought perfume—a post-rain woody scent with a damp, listless ambiance.
A Bluetooth speaker was still playing music in the hotel bathroom.
Everything pointed to Shi Ning's good mood that day.
The looks of tonight's "main course" had been very much to her liking. She liked cute-type women, loved watching them coo uncontrollably in the heat of passion. She loved it when they called her "Jiejie" in a sweet, syrupy voice, begging her to stop, yet clenching around her to take her even deeper.
Just thinking about it made Shi Ning feel a little restless. And once she realized her current predicament, that restlessness turned to anger.
What had she done to deserve being transmigrated like this?
Didn't they know that even if a woman doesn't have a dick, she can still die of depression from blue balls?!
The worst part was, she didn't know what was wrong with her body. A desire burned from within her blood, scorching her soul. Her throat was dry, as if she were a person on fire in need of a sip of sweet dew to be quenched. The nape of her neck was scalding hot, and it felt like insects were gnawing at her stomach, causing both pain and an unbearable longing. It was killing her. She suspected she'd been fucking drugged with an aphrodisiac.
Every part of her body was controlled by an indescribable itch. She was like a bottomless pit, her entire soul devoured by emptiness.
Completely unaware of her current world's situation, Shi Ning didn't dare act rashly. She desperately maintained her composure, grabbed a priced bottle of mineral water from the hotel room, twisted off the cap, and poured it down her throat. The cold water slightly eased her burden.
She had to calm down.
This was not the time to be masturbating!!
Heaven seemed to hear Shi Ning's plea and instantly poured something into her head, like boiling water. She clutched her head in pain, feeling that the intensity of this boiling-water infusion was comparable to Lin Zexu burning opium at Humen.
Good, let it burn.
Shi Ning thought, gritting her teeth. It had burned her calm.
A moment later, she sat on the bed, having finally figured out the situation.
She had transmigrated into a yuri ABO novel written with her as the prototype. The book was called Pampered Crybaby Omega. She had no idea who the author was, but they clearly had a screw loose to write her into a book for no reason.
In the book, she was a CEO who had once been an incorrigible playgirl. But after one night with the female lead, Su Wanxing, she became addicted to her, gave up her promiscuous ways, and became nothing more than Su Wanxing's devoted simp.
Su Wanxing herself was a young girl still in school. She possessed the essence of every romance novel protagonist: innocent, romantic, and adorable. She also had the essential skills of every erotica protagonist, including passive abilities like "My Omega pheromones are the strongest in the world," "Human-shaped walking aphrodisiac," and "Sleep with me once and you'll remember it for life."
Shi Ning was one of the female Alphas captivated by her.
After falling in love with her, she granted almost every one of Su Wanxing's requests.
But Su Wanxing held her past flings against her, using them to torment her and as an excuse to constantly get involved with other female Alphas.
What a fucking "reformed playboy" drama.
Shi Ning scoffed.
Something like that would never happen to her.
She, the great Lawyer Shi, had three unbreakable principles.
Don't touch straight women. Don't touch tops. Don't touch people you actually like.
Lovers were for loving; flings were for satisfying physiological needs. For Shi Ning, who came from a world where same-sex marriage wasn't legal, marriage was even more out of the question. It was just an economic partnership for sharing responsibilities. There was no need to drag someone else down to hell with you.
She didn't like and wasn't used to dealing with emotional needs when handling her physical ones—neither her own nor anyone else's.
Although, to this day, Lawyer Shi had never even liked anyone.
She didn't even like herself.
After sorting through the plot, Shi Ning realized that the point she had transmigrated to was likely the moment she was supposed to meet the female lead, Su Wanxing.
Just as she had that thought, the door to the room beeped.
The hotel room door opened, and a woman pushed her way in.
Shi Ning, sitting on the bed, looked up at her.
The woman was quite tall, probably up to her shoulder. Her long hair was smooth and straight, cascading down like a black waterfall. She was beautiful, with a kind of cold, stunning beauty, but her entire being radiated a "do not approach" aura. She was cool and aloof, like an overworked air conditioner. Her gaze held a hint of arrogance as she looked at Shi Ning. She even frowned upon noticing Shi Ning's attire.
"Is it you?" the woman asked.
Shi Ning hated this type of person the most.
They spoke as if squeezing toothpaste, popping out two words at a time, as if saying any more would cost them money.
She got up from the bed and asked lazily, "Miss Su?"
Su Tianxue nodded.
Shi Ning thought to herself, This is fucking false advertising. The novel promised a soft and delicate Omega! This was clearly a big ice cube, a cool beauty! At this height, she was almost as tall as her.
"You require a service, correct?" Su Tianxue asked stiffly.
Shi Ning had met direct people before, but never this direct. She nodded, and the woman began to raise her hands to tie up her hair. As her long hair was gathered, Shi Ning thought she caught the faint scent of snow on her.
Nice perfume, she thought.
She watched the woman's movements with interest, right up until the woman strode over without any ceremony, grabbed her, and pushed her down onto the bed. As if completing some rigid task, she kissed Shi Ning's lips with a cold look in her eyes. Her hands were already undoing her clothes as she asked, "Apologies, I've never been with a woman. I don't have much experience."
Because of that scent of snow, the desire that Shi Ning had just doused with boiling water flared up again.
Yet the person moving on top of her remained completely aloof, seemingly untroubled by the same affliction.
Shi Ning was a little annoyed.
Then, she heard the other woman say, "Can you teach me how to top you?"
"My IQ is above the standard baseline. I'm a fast learner. I won't make you uncomfortable." The woman sounded sincere when she spoke, not like she was teasing.
...Is this person a robot? What normal person says something like that at a time like this?
Shi Ning let out a cold laugh and flipped their positions, pinning the other woman down.
She leaned close to the other's ear. "Alright."
She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but she thought she saw a flash of shock in the woman's eyes. This suited Shi Ning just fine. She wanted to see this big ice cube's expression change, to stop her from being so tense all the time.
"I'm a proponent of hands-on learning. I'll perform well, and you'll learn well."
"Once you've learned, you can top yourself and let me watch."
Translator’s Note: The title is a pun derived from the card game Dou Dizhu (Fight the Landlord), where "Pair of As" refers to both the playing cards and the novel's two Alpha protagonists, with the response "I Pass" (literally "can't afford") implying a hand one cannot beat or a reality one cannot handle.
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