ISBH - Chapter 23
Chapter 23: Birthday
The next morning Mo Sheng woke very early.
The burning ache that had filled her whole body during the fever was completely gone, and Mo Sheng guessed her fever had broken.
Even so, a weary heaviness from the fever still lingered in her body.
Mo Sheng stared blankly at the empty air for a long while, and then her memories slowly came back. She turned to look at the sunlight slanting through the window lattice and pressed her lips together without thinking.
Her heart still twisted with pain, as if something were tugging at her with fine close threads to remind her of one fact. Her father was really never coming back.
Admitting that fact again was not as hard as she had imagined.
All these years Mo Sheng had wondered what she would do if her father never came back, but she had never dared to think it through. If she kept thinking, she felt she could never have lived through these five years.
Dreams were like a transparent bubble, wrapping the black pus and blood left by the wound of reality. Mo Sheng had tried to use dreams to hide the fear in her heart, yet dreams were bound to burst one day...
Now everything had burst. Only after the pus and blood flowed out could the wound slowly begin to heal.
Mo Sheng had thought she would lick her wounds alone in the dark and slowly die, yet she had never expected a light to break through in the midst of despair...
Mo Sheng pressed her lips together and turned back to look carefully at the female ghost beside her.
Mo Sheng no longer remembered how she had drowsily pulled Han Tian onto the bed in the night. This was the first time she had woken to find Han Tian lying beside her.
The feeling was not bad.
Mo Sheng blinked and turned on her side to study Han Tian closely.
She had always wanted a good look at Han Tian, but she had been afraid Han Tian would notice her gaze, so she had never dared to stare too openly.
She said she would be her Sister from now on.
Mo Sheng curved her lips into a small smile and gazed with bright eyes at the sleeping Han Tian. Sister had long eyelashes, dark and bright, an oval face, a small nose, very fair skin, and a tiny red mole on her earlobe.
Asleep she looked very sweet and quiet, with a calm bookish grace that made the years feel peaceful.
Who would have thought this Sister would be so chatty once awake?
Mo Sheng pursed her lips, yet in her heart she had to admit it.
This Sister was really beautiful.
She was chatty, but her words made people happy, as if they could melt sweetly into the heart.
Because she had stayed up too late the night before, Han Tian was still not awake.
She had not eaten a grain of rice the day before and had just come through a serious illness, so Mo Sheng felt a little hungry. Not wanting to wake Sister, she carefully climbed over the head of the bed and got down.
The dishes on the table had already been put away, and only the sculpture of a little girl lay rolled under the table.
Mo Sheng instinctively wanted to throw the sculpture away. She picked it up and walked to the door, then stopped.
She remembered how her father had looked when he carved this sculpture.
"This is Father's most precious research. Shall Father use this medium to carve a Little Mo Sheng, all right?"
Back then her father's eyes had been full of smiles...
He was a liar! He would never come back!
Tears threatened to fall again.
Mo Sheng bit her lower lip and turned around. With her head lowered she climbed upstairs and put the sculpture into the big box from before, then locked it again.
...
You big liar, I hope in the other world you will have enough money to keep doing your research!
As for me...
"Don't worry," Mo Sheng wiped her tears and said softly, "I'm going to keep living my own life too."
When Han Tian woke she was still groggy. The little girl was sitting at the table eating the leftover food from yesterday...
Han Tian saw the food had clearly not been heated, and without time to think she cried out anxiously, "Little Mo Sheng, you just got better. Why didn't you heat up the food?"
"Heat up food?" Mo Sheng tilted her head to look over, confusion in her dark bright eyes. "How do I heat up food?"
When her father was still home they had always used a pressure cooker, and Mo Sheng did not know how to heat food.
Han Tian belatedly remembered that Mo Sheng could see her now.
Last night Han Tian had spent the whole night thinking about how to explain her existence. She had even prepared to say she was the Tianluo Girl specially invited by Mo Runsheng...
Only now did Han Tian realize she had overthought it. Mo Sheng seemed to have accepted her existence with remarkable calm.
Han Tian felt a little comforted and a little sad.
Comforted by Mo Sheng's trust, that she could finally talk openly with someone. Sad at how quickly Mo Sheng had accepted it.
How afraid of loneliness must Mo Sheng be to accept her so fast! She did not even ask where she came from. Whatever she said, the child believed...
"The rice cooker can heat food," Han Tian held back the emotions in her heart and led Mo Sheng to the rice cooker. She poured all the rice in, then had Mo Sheng add a little water, put down the lid, and press the heat button.
"In about ten minutes the rice will be hot again." Han Tian showed Mo Sheng how it was done, then led Mo Sheng back to the table.
"Now we have ten minutes to have a good talk."
"Don't you have anything you want to ask me?" Han Tian crouched before Mo Sheng and looked at her with an encouraging smile. "You can ask anything."
Han Tian knew this child lacked a sense of security terribly. Mo Sheng did not ask, but Han Tian wanted to tell the little girl everything she could reveal.
"Will you stay with me forever?" The little girl opened her eyes wide to look at Han Tian, and in her eyes there was a faint light like a firefly. The light was so weak it seemed it might go out at any moment.
Han Tian had braced herself in a thousand ways, yet she had never expected Mo Sheng to ask it like that.
Yet this was a very hard question to answer.
The word forever held too many unpredictable futures.
"I'll stay with Little Mo Sheng as you grow up," Han Tian heard her own voice sound in the air, "until the day Little Mo Sheng no longer needs me."
"I will never stop needing you!" Mo Sheng frowned and looked at Han Tian seriously, answering almost at once.
Han Tian said nothing and looked away from Mo Sheng's gaze, smiling as she stroked Mo Sheng's head.
Han Tian envied Mo Sheng's age a little. Children at this age did not think too much. They only followed their own longing, so they could easily say forever. They did not know the weight those two words 'forever' carried.
Han Tian had once said forever to someone too, saying she would forever walk the flower path with that person.
Yet that person...
At the thought of that person, Han Tian quickly stopped her train of thought and looked at Mo Sheng again. "Don't you have any other questions for me?"
Mo Sheng lowered her head and nodded, though she felt a little unhappy inside.
Sister did not seem to believe her words.
It did not matter. She would prove herself one day!
Mo Sheng made up her mind in secret.
She would make Sister stay with her forever.
"Really nothing else?" Han Tian asked again uncertainly.
Mo Sheng lowered her head and shook her head.
Sure enough, she was still a child!
Han Tian sighed and stroked the little girl's head. "Since you have nothing to ask, then listen to me."
"First we have to earn money. Once we have an economic base we can build the superstructure," Han Tian stroked Mo Sheng's head. "Of course, earning money is mainly grown-up business. I'll try to earn enough for our living expenses within two months. From now on you only need to worry about studying..."
"Then think about what hobbies you have," Han Tian gazed into Mo Sheng's eyes and curved her lips. "When we have money we'll sign up for training classes, and Little Mo Sheng can develop her own interests..."
"Don't rush to answer me," Han Tian watched Mo Sheng tilt her head as if thinking hard and could not help stroking Mo Sheng's head again. "Before, I thought you couldn't see me, so there were many things I could only worry about..."
"But it's different now. Since you can see me, I can do many things through you..."
Han Tian thought of the plan she had drawn up last night and could not help smiling. For the first time since coming to this time and space she felt so happy. "Mo Sheng, trust me. I'll surely lead you to a good life..."
Mo Sheng's gaze drifted and did not rest on Han Tian's face. After a long while she gave a faint hum as light as a mosquito's buzz.
Mo Sheng knew this Sister had always been beautiful, especially when she smiled.
But when she smiled before, it always seemed as if something were weighing on her...
But the smile just now was different, confident and open, so beautiful people hardly dared to look too long...
Out of nowhere a thought popped into Mo Sheng's mind. If Sister were not in her present situation, she probably could never have gotten close to her, could she?
She was like a cloud in the sky, while she herself was like mud in a ditch...
The inferiority she had long suppressed surfaced again at this moment, and Mo Sheng clenched her hands without thinking, as if that way she could drag Sister to her side forever.
...
But there was no time for Mo Sheng to keep thinking. The rice cooker gave its chime.
Mo Sheng brought out the cooked rice, and only then did Han Tian realize she had forgotten to have Mo Sheng heat the dishes too.
Mo Sheng realized it too, but Mo Sheng had never been picky about food. To her, having something to eat was already good.
She mixed yesterday's scorched, now cooled dishes into the hot rice. It balanced the saltiness, and the result was surprisingly edible.
"All right! Next we'll carry out our first plan."
Seeing Mo Sheng finish eating, Han Tian floated to the bed and quickly took two hundred yuan from the six hundred yuan Mo Sheng had left.
"The first thing is to celebrate Little Mo Sheng's birthday," Han Tian looked at the stunned Mo Sheng. Her heart sighed, but the smile on her face grew brighter. "Mo Sheng, you just said you trust me. The money we spend today, I'll surely earn back for you soon..."
"Eating too much overnight food isn't good. Eat a little less. When we go out in a bit we'll eat something delicious..."
Han Tian had thought the thrifty little girl would object, yet to her surprise Mo Sheng looked at Han Tian and nodded obediently, with a hope in her eyes that even Mo Sheng herself had not noticed.
When Mo Sheng finished eating, Han Tian had already picked out clothes for her.
After last time, Mo Sheng already trusted Han Tian's taste and obediently changed into the outfit Han Tian had matched.
The little girl wore a simple white shirt and jeans, and Han Tian carefully tied her hair into a bun.
Mo Sheng like this looked free of her usual caution. Though she was still short, she no longer looked quite like a small child.
"Today Mo Sheng is a big girl! You'll look better and better..." Han Tian stroked Mo Sheng's head again. "Mo Sheng must grow tall and pretty, all right..."
"Look, Mo Sheng, you're already starting to look pretty!"
...
The once skinny little girl now had a little flesh on her cheeks. Because Mo Sheng had recently been tutoring Wang Zhi, the classmates had decided she was one of Wang Zhi's people and no longer dared to bully her, so no new wounds had been added lately, and the old scars were gradually fading...
The shirt with long sleeves Han Tian had chosen covered Mo Sheng's scarred arms. Judged by her face alone, with those pretty eyes, Mo Sheng looked like a bright little girl.
Yet none of this had anything to do with being pretty.
Mo Sheng looked at herself in the mirror and pressed her lips slightly together.
She had known long ago that Sister liked beautiful people.
Sister now dared not promise to stay with her forever. Was it because she still wanted to find someone more beautiful to keep them company?
Like the 'star' she held in her heart?
...
Mo Sheng pressed her lips together.
For the first time, a strong wish to become beautiful rose in her heart, even outweighing the fear of beauty she had once felt.
If she became extremely beautiful and obedient, then when she grew up Sister would not leave her either, would she?
...
With that thought in mind, when Han Tian reminded Mo Sheng to put on moisturizer before going out, Mo Sheng did not refuse.
In Mo Sheng's memory she had worn moisturizer when she was very small.
Back then her mother was still here. Her mother would hold Mo Sheng and tap her nose. "Be good, Mo Sheng, time for 'sweet cream.' Put on 'sweet cream' and you'll become a great beauty..."
Back then she would giggle and rub her face against her mother's...
Those days would never come back!
Back then her mother had not seemed to dislike her at all. Why did grown-ups always change so suddenly?
...
While she was lost in thought, a hand reached out and lightly tapped the tip of Mo Sheng's nose.
"You didn't spread the moisturizer evenly..."
Before Han Tian could teach Mo Sheng how to use moisturizer, Mo Sheng had already scooped out a big lump and smeared it straight on her face. Not knowing the right amount, Mo Sheng had taken four or five times too much.
Mo Sheng rubbed hurriedly at her face a few times and did not spread it evenly at all...
"Look at you, such a big girl turning yourself into a little kitten," Han Tian tapped Mo Sheng's cheek and held back her laughter as she guided her. "Rub the extra moisturizer onto your arms and neck..."
At last the moisturizer on her face was smoothed out. Mo Sheng stared at her arms with her lips pressed shyly together. She was usually mature for her age, and this was the first time she had embarrassed herself like this before someone...
Would Sister dislike her for being clumsy and a burden, just like her mother?
Mo Sheng pressed her lips together without thinking.
"All right! Don't feel bad about it. When I have money I'll buy you better moisturizer, and then this bottle can be your body lotion..." Han Tian misunderstood what Mo Sheng meant and smiled as she linked arms with Mo Sheng. "Let's go! Let's go shopping together..."
Mo Sheng looked at the clearly eager Han Tian and nodded lightly.
As long as Sister treated her as well as now in the future, she could give Sister anything.
...
By then it was already one in the afternoon.
Going out they passed Sixth Aunt's house. Smashing sounds still clattered from inside. Sixth Uncle had a violent temper and Sixth Aunt had a sharp tongue. The two had never been popular, and though they had quarreled this long, no one had come to mediate...
"Serves them right!" Han Tian listened to the noise inside and spoke with some satisfaction.
During this time Han Tian had always floated behind Mo Sheng and had grown familiar with the surroundings too. First she led Mo Sheng to the cake shop on the corner.
"One small tiramisu cake!" Han Tian looked at Mo Sheng and said softly.
Watched like that by Han Tian, Mo Sheng felt a little shy, but she still repeated Han Tian's words as if nothing were wrong.
The shopkeeper did not recognize the neatly dressed little girl before her as the girl who used to pick up trash everywhere. She took a piece of tiramisu cake from the glass case and asked with a smile, "To take away or eat here?"
Mo Sheng still could not help feeling the pinch at the sight of the little cake.
She did not know what tiramisu was until the shopkeeper brought it out, yet such a tiny piece was far too expensive. Such a small cake cost twenty yuan. That could buy her steamed buns for a month!
"To take away! Could I have a little candle?" Mo Sheng repeated what Han Tian told her.
After saying it Mo Sheng felt nervous. She had never bought a cake and feared the clerk would refuse.
"A birthday candle? A number or a single little candle? Numbers are free, a single little candle costs one more yuan..." The clerk clearly knew the routine well. She asked while packing, without even looking up.
"A number! Fourteen." Years of thrift made Mo Sheng speak out almost at once.
Only after speaking did Mo Sheng sense something, and she glanced timidly at Han Tian beside her.
Han Tian naturally saw through Mo Sheng's little thought.
She had never expected to change Mo Sheng in a day. Mo Sheng had already done very well today.
Han Tian smiled and pinched her cheek. "What is it?"
"Today the little birthday star is the boss, so of course everything goes as the little birthday star says..."
Mo Sheng lowered her head, and for the first time she felt a little birthday joy.
"Happy birthday!" The clerk handed the cake to Mo Sheng, and Mo Sheng lowered her head to take it and murmured, "Thank you!"
Han Tian smiled especially happily beside her.
Staying with Mo Sheng all this time she had noticed something. Mo Sheng was actually very introverted. She rarely greeted people on her own and rarely asked for help on her own.
Han Tian herself had been like that before. She knew it was not good, but she had been strong, so no one blamed her for it. Little Mo Sheng was in a weak position now, though. She could only accept whatever others gave her. If she were a little sweeter with her words, she could surely avoid some harsh treatment.
Han Tian led Mo Sheng to the park.
Mo Sheng had passed the park many times, but she had feared it charged admission and had never gone inside.
"All right! No tickets needed." Han Tian saw through Mo Sheng's worry and walked beside Mo Sheng through the gate.
It was the last day of the National Day holiday, and few people were in the park. Han Tian led Mo Sheng to a shady spot on the lawn to sit down, and only then realized there was no lighter to light the candle.
Mo Sheng lowered her eyes.
Han Tian glanced at Mo Sheng and nudged her arm. "See that? That grandpa over there might have a lighter. You can go borrow it."
"Repeat after me. Don't be afraid of being refused..." Han Tian saw through Mo Sheng's thoughts and stroked Mo Sheng's head encouragingly.
Mo Sheng took a deep breath. In the end she could not bear to disappoint Sister, so she bit her lip and walked to the old man with the candle.
"Grandpa, today is my birthday. Could I borrow your lighter..."
...
Mo Sheng was not refused. She even received a ready "Happy birthday!" from the grandpa.
Mo Sheng's face flushed a little, but her mood lifted bit by bit.
She ran back quickly with the candle and stuck it in the cake, then closed her eyes to make a wish amid Han Tian's urging.
This time Mo Sheng remembered well what her father had said about keeping wishes in the heart and not saying them aloud. In her heart she repeated many times, "I want to stay with Sister forever and never be apart..."
Someone beside her started singing the birthday song. Focused on her wish, Mo Sheng did not notice that besides Han Tian's voice that was out of tune there was another voice as well.
Mo Sheng opened her eyes and was about to blow out the candle when she noticed the grandpa she had borrowed the lighter from standing beside her.
The old man smiled at Mo Sheng kindly. "I just came to have a look. Blow out your candle!"
Old people had tender hearts. Seeing Mo Sheng celebrate her birthday alone, he had wanted to keep her company for a while.
"Little friend, find more people to celebrate with next time!" Seeing Mo Sheng blow out the candle, and seeing the little girl did not look sad, the old man left that stretch of grass...
"Thank you, Grandpa..." Mo Sheng looked at the kind old man, and the thanks came out naturally. She did not even notice she had curved her lips into a rare playful smile. "Grandpa doesn't know another Sister is sitting across from me celebrating too, but it's lucky Grandpa can't hear Sister. Otherwise Grandpa would surely be led astray by Sister's out of tune 'happy birthday'..."
Han Tian never expected to be teased by Little Mo Sheng one day, and her eyes went wide!
Sister looked far too funny with that expression!
Mo Sheng laughed until she bent over. She had never laughed so freely since she was born.
...
Only after laughing did Mo Sheng start eating the cake.
The tiramisu cake that was so expensive to Mo Sheng tasted truly delicious. The flavor seemed to spread into her heart. Her heart overflowed with sweetness. Happiness filled her heart like bubbles, so sweet Mo Sheng began to feel afraid, afraid it was all a dream...
After eating the cake Mo Sheng and Han Tian started strolling in the park.
The park was built with all kinds of public facilities. Since no one was around, Mo Sheng sat on a swing.
In Mo Sheng's memory, this was her first time on a swing.
In the eyes of others the little girl played happily on the swing alone, yet no one knew that behind her a figure had been gently pushing her...
Mo Sheng was happy not because of the swing, but because Sister was swinging with her.
By the time they finished touring the park, the sky had darkened, and Han Tian took Mo Sheng to the night market.
Clothes and shoes at the night market were very cheap. Because of the crowds, shop owners wrote prices on cardboard in front of the goods to avoid haggling.
Han Tian picked suitable prices and used the remaining money to buy Mo Sheng a pair of sneakers, a new sweatshirt, and a pair of jeans.
Mo Sheng had not worn new clothes in many years. She held the bags and could hardly bear to touch what was inside. On the way home her eyes barely left the shopping bags.
Even after returning home and washing up for bed, Mo Sheng treasured the new clothes and placed them at the foot of the bed...
After a whole day of running about, Mo Sheng felt more tired than ever, yet also happier than ever.
"Will I be this happy every birthday?" The day felt too much like a dream. Before sleep Mo Sheng fought her heavy eyelids and turned to ask Han Tian sleeping beside her.
Han Tian had been drowsy too, but at that moment she suddenly woke fully. She reached out to stroke Mo Sheng's head, her voice carrying a smile and certainty.
"You'll be this happy every day from now on."
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