Drifting on a String - Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Turning off her phone, Chen Piaopiao lifted the bed curtain and glanced at the opposite bunk.
The light on Tao Jin's side was also out. She was probably asleep.
Chen Piaopiao set her phone aside, still wanting to possess Tao Jin.
If only I could hold her while I sleep. If only she could hold me while I sleep. She smelled so good, was so soft, and so cool to the touch. Her skin was so delicate, astonishingly so.
But she still didn't dare to make a rash move. The closer their relationship became, the more the reckless courage she had at the beginning drained away.
She wasn't entirely sure what Tao Jin meant by asking her to sleep over. If it were anyone else, it would definitely mean something, but Tao Jin was different.
When a younger member of the club forgot to order food, Tao Jin would say she wasn't hungry and then ask the girl to give her her soda instead.
That way, they were even.
Therefore, Tao Jin lending her the apartment and then asking her to come back to the dorm to live with her might also have been a way to offset the favor she was owed.
You help me, I'll accompany you, and we… are even, too.
This was Tao Jin—impeccable and considerate, making even those she helped feel completely at ease.
On the morning of the 7th, Grandma was heading back. Chen Piaopiao rushed to the small apartment early to help her pack.
She carefully folded the pajamas, wrapped the toothbrush in a towel, and then put it in a plastic bag.
"Grandma, these pants aren't completely dry. I'll pack them for now, but you might need to wash and dry them again when you get back, or they'll get musty," Chen Piaopiao said, crouching by the backpack.
Grandma came out of the bathroom. After climbing the Fragrant Hills and the Great Wall these past few days, she was tanner and had slimmed down a little, her legs looking even more nimble.
Yesterday, they had visited Piaopiao's university and her dorm. It was a pity Tao Jin wasn't there, otherwise Chen Piaopiao would have wanted the three of them to have a meal at the cafeteria.
Grandma sat on the edge of the bed and patted the space beside her, signaling for Chen Piaopiao to come over. Chen Piaopiao sat down and wiped her face for her. "You didn't rub your face cream in all the way."
She said with a smile.
Grandma pulled a few bills from her pocket and stuffed them into Chen Piaopiao's hand. "Here."
"I still have living expenses." Chen Piaopiao didn't want to take it, but her fist was held tightly by her grandma.
"Take it," Grandma said, leaving no room for argument. "Tuck it in your pocket, keep it safe."
Chen Piaopiao lowered her head, smoothed out the bills one by one, folded them neatly, and placed them in the innermost compartment of her wallet. Then she smiled at her grandma. "It's safe."
"Eat more meat, buy some pretty clothes. You've barely changed your outfits. You're not as fashionable and pretty as you were back in Xindu," Grandma said, dissatisfied.
"I have lots of cute dresses, I just didn't wear them for you to see because we were going hiking," Chen Piaopiao rested her head on her grandma's shoulder. "I'll show you when I come back for vacation."
Grandma blinked, wiping the corner of her eye. "You're not coming back until the Spring Festival?"
"I might be back earlier. I'll come back as soon as my exams are over," Chen Piaopiao said, straightening her grandma's clothes.
Grandma didn't say anything, finally just stroking her hand. "Study hard, you hear me?"
"Okay."
Unlike when they picked her up, Tao Jin hailed a cab this time. She and Chen Piaopiao rode together to see Grandma off. As they passed the university gate, Grandma pointed again, saying how beautiful their school was, and how grand the main entrance was.
The light in the airport was the same every day, as if deliberately blurring time and seasons, making one forget how long the intervals between partings and reunions were.
After checking in the luggage, Chen Piaopiao double-checked her grandma's boarding pass and ID, then walked her to the security checkpoint. The three of them walked silently to the end of the line, where a barrier was pulled across, halting the steps of those seeing her off.
Chen Piaopiao checked the phone hanging around her grandma's neck, reminding her to put it on again after passing through security and to hide it under her coat, worried that a thief might try to snatch it and hurt her in the process.
Grandma agreed to everything, finally hugging Chen Piaopiao and reaching out to smooth the hair on the back of her head.
Chen Piaopiao's shoulders rose and fell with her breathing. She felt another pair of hands join in, gently and restrainedly stroking her head.
Before entering security, Grandma took Tao Jin's hand again to thank her, finally saying, "Jinjin, please take good care of our Piaopiao'er. Grandma is asking you, okay?"
Chen Piaopiao didn't speak.
Tao Jin smiled gently. "I will."
"It's a deal. If you have a chance to come to Xindu in the future, Grandma will cook noodles for you again."
"Okay." Tao Jin bent down and hugged her goodbye.
Grandma's short figure squeezed into the crowd. The red hat was indeed very conspicuous. Chen Piaopiao watched as the red hat was taken off during the security check, then put back on. Grandma looked around hesitantly, then showed her boarding pass to a staff member to ask which way to go, before disappearing through the security gate.
She didn't have much experience flying, so she didn't know she could have looked back and still seen Chen Piaopiao.
"The old lady is very capable. She should be able to find an auntie from the neighborhood to keep her company when she gets back," Chen Piaopiao said, her hand resting on her bag strap.
She didn't wait for Tao Jin's reply, just smiled and said, "Let's go."
Then she turned and left.
Tao Jin noticed that this young girl rarely showed a sad expression, even though she was only eighteen and had just experienced a separation related to her independence. She stared out the car window at the plane taking off, her face numb, as if in a daze.
For Chen Piaopiao, parting was nothing more than a long daze.
She just needed to snap out of it when the daze ended and accept the fact that the person by her side was gone.
The National Day holiday ended with the return of her roommates. The empty rooms and hallways were filled once again. The sounds of fetching hot water, the slapping of slippers, classmates talking on the phone with family or boyfriends, the "ding" of the elevator, and the rumbling track of a suitcase arriving along with the aroma of cafeteria food all rushed to fill the dorm.
Chen Piaopiao suddenly wondered, why is communal university life considered a transition before entering society?
Because it easily gives one the illusion of not being abandoned.
The chattering peers, the smiling faces of youth, were like an anesthetic that could ease the pain of independence, making you think you were never alone.
Chen Piaopiao couldn't bring herself to spend the money Grandma gave her. She hid it in the deepest part of her little safe in the wardrobe, planning to buy clothes for her grandma during the winter break.
Then she checked her own balance, opened the school forum, crossed off the part-time job listings she had previously collected, and noted down new ones.
Fortunately, the group gathering was scheduled for a week later, giving her enough time to work odd jobs for a week and save up money for the bar.
That week, Tao Jin was still very busy and barely contacted Chen Piaopiao.
After picking up Grandma, her aunt sent her a WeChat message. The wording was very tactful, saying that Piaopiao was an adult now and should know how to distinguish right from wrong, that Grandma was old, and she shouldn't make her worry about everything.
She then shared a WeChat article to her Moments: "Spreading Gossip Harms Virtue; Kindness Is a Lifelong Lesson."
Chen Piaopiao didn't reply. She was in front of the mirror, choosing a dress for the bar.
It was a black dress, not much fabric, but not the sexy type either. The style was simple, with just a black bow at the back. She wore a pair of flip-flops with an asymmetrical design to make it less formal, and as usual, she went to the bathroom to blow-dry her hair into big curls.
She didn't wear makeup; she wasn't very good at it. But her snow-white skin was her best accessory, especially when set off by the black dress, making her quite eye-catching.
"Wow, a sexy little wildcat." Qi Mian had gained more weight but was still eating Bugles.
She picked at a pimple on her face, her eyes enviously caressing Chen Piaopiao's arm.
Oh my god, it's like white jade. Seriously, oh my god, how did her mother give birth to her?
"Going to a bar?" Qi Mian took a sip of milk tea. "Are you coming back tonight? Be safe, you know. If you're not coming back, let us know."
"Got it, thanks, Mianmian." Chen Piaopiao smiled at her quietly.
Actually, she hadn't considered not returning to the dorm. They were going to a bar opened by a friend of Gaogao's, which was different from the usual ones. It was in a rather remote alley, usually very quiet, just a place for "like-minded people" to gather.
Most bars only got lively after eleven or twelve, but this one opened early. Gaogao had also discussed with everyone that they should try to get back before lights-out.
A few group members arranged to meet at the school gate. Once everyone was there, they would go together. Chen Piaopiao took a look; there were five or six people. Three of them looked like lesbians at a glance, with wolf cuts or undercuts. The others standing nearby included one who looked very studious with glasses, with a face that seemed to spend all its time in the library.
Gaogao bought a roasted sweet potato and waved at Chen Piaopiao. The few people who had been chatting all turned to look at her.
Chen Piaopiao greeted them generously. Gaogao glanced around. "That's about enough for two cars. Should we head over?"
"Okay," everyone nodded.
The bar was called "Whale." Its pale blue sign, in the old alley, was quite artsy and also quite out of place. There was nothing on the glass door, only the sparse sound of a rock band playing live seeping through the cracks.
Chen Piaopiao glanced at the name and thought of someone.
It wasn't a large place, with two floors. On the first floor, three or four round tables near the live stage were occupied by girls, all dressed quite fashionably. When they saw people come in, they subconsciously glanced over before turning back to their drinks.
They looked like they were from the working world, unlike them, who clearly looked like students.
Gaogao led them to the second floor, greeting the waiter familiarly as they passed. The second floor was different. A low, deep male voice sang in English. There were few lights, and the windows were made of carved wood. The old alley streetlights shone through the window lattices, mingling with the moonlight, bringing a touch of old-fashioned Chinese ambiance that vied with the British sentiment in the song.
They sat down on a long, curved sofa in front of a long black table. Gaogao had everyone order some drinks, a fruit platter, and some snacks, then put down her bag and started chatting while they waited.
The newly met friends didn't need to introduce themselves; once they matched their group IDs, they were chatting away enthusiastically.
Chen Piaopiao sat next to Gaogao, talking with her off and on, taking a sip of her drink from time to time.
The others were already shaking dice. Chen Piaopiao played a couple of rounds, told some half-true truths, and felt a bit tired. She shrank back next to Gaogao, holding her glass of Chivas in a daze.
The napkins also had a whale logo. She extended her index finger and traced it, stroke by stroke.
Suddenly, Gaogao looked at her phone and let out a "Huh?"
Chen Piaopiao asked her, "What's wrong?"
"Tao Jin is looking for me," Gaogao said, smiling at her WeChat screen.
A clink, like an ice cube dropped into a glass of liquor.
"She… is looking for you?" Chen Piaopiao pursed her lips, her tongue licking the peak of her lip as she asked softly.
"Yeah, she asked why no one was in my dorm. She wanted to ask us to go shower."
The ice cube that had been dropped into the liquor sank to the bottom. It was chilling, and it seemed to have even clinked against the glass.
Chen Piaopiao blinked. Tao Jin was free, and she wanted someone to go shower with her, but she had asked Gaogao's dorm, not her.
She looked down, lit up the phone on her lap, and glanced at the time.
"Hey, aren't you two pretty close? You're in the same club, right?" Gaogao suddenly asked Chen Piaopiao.
"Huh?… Yeah."
Gaogao had always been enthusiastic. "Then I'll ask her to come over and hang out with us."
Chen Piaopiao rested her chin on her hand, her eyes lowered as she watched Gaogao type: "We're at a bar, a get-together with the kids from our lesbian group. You coming? No weirdos, just girls."
Her gaze swayed in the dim light. The person on the other end of WeChat replied: "No, you guys have fun."
Gaogao showed Chen Piaopiao the chat history. "I'll tell her you're here too. She might come out if there's someone she knows."
Chen Piaopiao bit her lip and nodded softly. "Okay."
Gaogao typed furiously: "Come on, Piaopiao's here too, your little junior."
Chen Piaopiao held her breath, staring at the static WeChat interface, then watched as the name in the note changed to "Typing…"
About thirty seconds later, Tao Jin finally replied: "Piaopiao?"
"Didn't you say it was a group gathering?"
Gaogao glanced at Chen Piaopiao. Huh? Tao Jin didn't know? Then why did Chen Piaopiao let me just say it?
This was a bit tricky. She didn't know how to reply.
Another thirty seconds passed. Tao Jin sent another message, just two words—
"She is?"
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