TBTTSP - Chapter 41
Chapter 41: [Extra] Stop Fighting!
A startling clap of thunder tore the pitch-black sky in two, followed by a deafening roar that shook the heavens and the earth.
I was the only one left in the vast basement-level office. The editor-in-chief, who had just left, tossed me the keys. I was so moved I was practically weeping. As long as the editor-in-chief didn't die, I would forever be the vice. I never thought I'd get to hold the great power of the office keys.
Through the glass door, I could see rain streaming down the bright red staircase outside, pooling on the stone path. The cleaning lady had lovingly covered the nearby flowers and plants with plastic bags. The awning had started to leak, and the conference table beneath it was getting a thorough, splattering wash.
The sky was unnaturally dark, like a scene straight out of some apocalypse movie.
I put on my headphones and continued working on a PowerPoint presentation by my cot. I made a cup of coffee, and as I walked back, the entire office suddenly went dark. Our whole company was on the basement level. I called property management, and they said the entire building's power was out. Apparently, the lightning rod was broken, and a bolt of lightning had fried the electrical lines.
I pulled out my laptop to keep working on the presentation. Shang Yi called to ask if I was coming home for dinner.
"I can't," I said. "I have to rush to finish this presentation for the client." Shang Yi sounded relieved. She said she and Xu Wanqing were going out to eat, so they wouldn't wait for me.
I doubt they were planning to wait for me anyway. After hanging up, I idly scrolled through my phone. Li Zhaodi had just posted on her Moments. At Shang Yi's urging, she had gone abroad. She was now sharing a short video of her British boyfriend surfing. The editing was fluid and beautiful… because I had edited it.
I was the least promising one. I'd been unpromising my whole life. Now, I was just a junior editor, though I was promoted to vice editor-in-chief last year. When I told Shang Yi the good news about finding a job, she frowned and studied me for a long time before asking cautiously, "What kind of company is this?"
Just because she hadn't heard of it didn't mean it was some shady operation. The company's main business was selling walnut prayer beads, with a side business of selling walnut kernels. The boss was a genius, managing to forcibly link up with major brands, create a unique cartoon mascot, and even produce a global almanac of walnuts and a 48-episode 3D animated series for children. Although the reception was mediocre, the bizarre plot and melodramatic setting meant it was periodically dragged out and flogged by various online influencers. The more it was criticized, the more popular it became, eventually attracting celebrity endorsements and sending our sales soaring.
My main job was media operations, but in essence, I had to find new and creative ways to market these walnuts. I hit a wall at one point. I cried to Shang Yi, begging for advice. She rubbed her arms and said, "Why don't you guys sell other nuts too? Or besides wrist beads, why not sell ankle beads?"
I proposed the idea, but it was rejected. Our boss had an inexplicable obsession with and love for walnut prayer beads. The arm can't win against the thigh, but I did win the editor-in-chief's appreciation. He thought I had some good ideas, so I got promoted. The company started selling walnut kernels, but anything else was considered heresy and had to be stamped out. So every day, I was stuck wracking my brain over walnuts.
I've spent so much time introducing my company just to say that my life is this constrained. Every day, all I can do is obsess over walnuts.
So when Xu Min called, my leg cramped up. When I'm not doing well, I don't want anyone to contact me. I prefer to transform that self-loathing into motivation on my own, so that the next day can be a perfect day again.
"Do you know what day it is today?"
"Heavy to torrential rain. Probably the day I'm buried at my post. This day next year will be the anniversary of my death. See you in the next life, I'm outta here." I quickly hung up.
A moment later, she sent a few words:
Answer the phone!
Then she started a video call. I accepted. On the other end, she said, "Whoa, you scared me. Why don't you have the lights on?"
"The power's out at the office." I propped my phone on a stand and went back to staring at the screen, trying to figure out how to fudge the next slide.
"Hey, I just wanted to remind you that I'm back in the country."
"So you're back. Beijing welcomes you, opening a new world for you," I sang.
"Didn't you promise to lick my shoes? I have a recording!" She immediately started playing an ancient recording. The words I'd spoken as a foolish fifteen-year-old had been treacherously recorded by Xu Min. The audio quality was terrible, as if it had been passed through several hands, grating and unpleasant to the ear.
"Fine, come on over. My tongue is stretched out and waiting. Before midnight tonight. Whoever doesn't show up is a dog."
I shared my location.
The time in the bottom right corner of my screen read 11:30. I figured that in this downpour, even if Xu Min tried to come, she'd be blown away by the wind. Her legs were so long and thin, like an egret wading through Baiyangdian—they didn't look sturdy at all.
The utility closet started leaking. The dripping sound, drip, drip, drip, sounded like it was hitting a large metal bucket. I fumbled in a drawer for a flashlight, clamped it in my mouth, and went to check. I nearly had a heart attack.
The rainwater was dripping right onto the box of the boss's precious walnut prayer beads. I hastily dragged it out, heaved it onto a desk, and grabbed a large metal bucket to place under the leak, moving everything else away.
It's easy to drool when you have something in your mouth. The more I thought about it, the more lewd it seemed. With the flashlight in my mouth, I was so worried about the walnut beads that I didn't notice myself drooling a river. I slurped it back with a loud noise.
A distinctly impolite laugh came from the darkness. "How old are you, still drooling?"
With the flashlight still in my mouth, I mumbled something unintelligible. "You're here? Help me move this, I'm about to drool all over…"
I couldn't free my hands from the massive box. As I shuffled out of the utility closet, Xu Min deliberately shone her phone's light up at her chin from below, looking like a ghost.
"Stop messing around!" I mumbled, my words still slurred.
I don't know what she heard, but to me, it felt like I was just making "ah, ah, ah" sounds as if my tongue was gone. Xu Min walked over, gave the box a disdainful look, and let out a loud "Tsk."
She was in the mood to mock, but not to help. As I carried the box out, Xu Min stood at the corner, blocking my only path, and reached out to pinch the flashlight.
I was too naive. I thought she was going to overcome her disgust and take the flashlight for me. Who would have thought she'd grab it and shove it deeper into my mouth?
I knew she was up to no good.
"Why are you swallowing a flashlight for fun? Tsk, truly extraordinary. People from Shang Yi's faction really are unhinged."
After the Old Man passed away, she inherited his fortune. The Old Man had placed high hopes on her, but she turned out to be more of a spendthrift than anyone. The first thing she did was sell off more than half the assets, only to discover after the fact that, shit, most of it had been bought up by Shang Yi. She felt like she'd been played for a fool, and from then on, she branded me as part of "Shang Yi's faction."
I used my own strength to shove her out of the way, put down the box, and took out the flashlight. I wiped away my drool with self-disgust. Xu Min was a pervert. She leaned back in a chair and propped her feet up on the table.
The rain outside was still coming down in sheets. Xu Min's lower half was soaked, but her upper body was dry. By the light of the flashlight, I saw a transparent umbrella by the door. Looking at the time, it was exactly midnight. It was as if she'd timed her arrival perfectly. She pursed her lips and nudged her shoe closer to me.
It couldn't have been easy for her to come all this way just to humiliate me. She was this old and still bullying me. I felt it was unfair.
I was just a pitiful twenty-five-year-old corporate drone. Ten years ago, I had begged on Shang Yi's behalf. Ten years later, I realized I never had to. With Xu Min's level of intelligence, she could never have taken down Shang Yi. Shang Yi could face even that man with a smile, calm and composed. What was a slightly psychopathic Xu Min to her?
I rested my forehead on my hand and sat across from her. She lifted her leg, revealing what was under her skirt. I averted my eyes. "You really came? How moving. Didn't this huge storm wash you away?"
"You're working in a basement in this downpour. Good lord, if you drown in a bit, I'll come collect your body… Aren't you going to thank me for getting here in time?"
"I'm working overtime."
"What overtime? A rich kid like you should be enjoying life while you're young. Most people die at twenty-five and are just buried when they're old. You should be enjoying yourself."
"Enjoy what? Does being a rich kid give you a free pass? Labor is glorious. I support myself through my own hard work. Zhaodi has already earned her first pot of gold. She's the one enjoying life. We're not in the same league."
"You're getting off-topic. Lick the shoe," Xu Min said, pursing her lips, clearly not planning to let me off the hook.
Her leather shoes were covered in mud! Did she deliberately pick the one ancient, muddy path out of all the concrete roads in the area?
I pressed my lips together, momentarily at a loss for a comeback. It was my own fault for running my mouth back then and giving Xu Min leverage. To be honest, I didn't have much dignity. Licking a shoe was just licking a shoe. But I was now a member of the "Shang Yi faction." I couldn't bring shame to my godmother. And… if Shang Yi found out I was still secretly entangled with Xu Min, she would probably strangle me and send me to an early grave.
In Shang Yi's eyes, I was a member of the "Xu Min faction." See? I was a double agent to both sides, a spy sent by the enemy.
The Old Man has been gone for ten years! Wake up, you two! Can you just stop fighting already!
It was actually all Xu Min's fault. My relationship with her was supposed to be a pure rivalry. Four years ago, when I graduated from college, Xu Min, like a predator, came looking for me in the middle of the night. She was drunk and insisted on driving me onto the highway. I was so scared I detained her in the hotel, tying her to the headboard with a cheap pair of stockings from the drawer so she wouldn't go out and terrorize people. I spent the whole night trembling.
As fate would have it, I had chosen one of Shang Yi's hotels. Ugly Boy happened to come by, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the two of us coming out of the same room.
After checking the surveillance footage, he was so angry he posted ten consecutive tweets on his private account: "Why!!"
I couldn't blame him. I said Xu Min was a predator. She came looking for me in the middle of the night, and before she even got through the door, drunk as she was, she started gnawing on my forehead.
I nearly died of fright. The guy I had a crush on in college was at the end of the hallway, watching me. Xu Min had deliberately kissed me for him to see, staging a melodramatic romance and giving my would-be boyfriend a lesson titled "How to Forcibly Kiss a Girl." He held back tears and said to me, "I wish you happiness." In short, Xu Min had not only nipped my budding first love in the bud but also left behind ironclad evidence on the surveillance camera.
When Shang Yi received the video, she solemnly called me back for some family education.
"Do you know how old Xu Min is! Do you know what kind of person she is! Are you trying to kill me with anger!"
I didn't want to anger Shang Yi. I confessed honestly, "I didn't… She just suddenly… It wasn't my fault, I didn't want to…"
"Oh, please! Flies don't bite an egg that isn't cracked! Why doesn't Xu Min kiss other people, hmm? Why doesn't she come over and kiss me…" Shang Yi's lecture faltered midway as she suddenly seemed to feel a pang of guilt. Before I could grasp the deeper meaning, Xu Wanqing, in perfect sync with her, continued, "You were playing hard to get. You were practically throwing yourself into her arms. Of course you'd arouse her… her…"
"Her bestial lust!" Shang Yi roared, using a very serious word.
Heaven knows I wasn't playing hard to get or feigning resistance. Xu Min was so tall, she had me completely cornered with no escape. And she reeked of alcohol, which made me want to vomit. Physically, it was impossible for me to throw myself into her arms!
Shang Yi was the parent. She made the final decision. "From now on, you are forbidden from having anything to do with her! Do you think she's a good person? If I catch you again, I'll break your legs!"
Xu Wanqing sighed. "You, too. Of all people, why her…?"
I couldn't clear my name no matter what I did, so I obediently deleted Xu Min. Looking at myself in the mirror, I didn't seem to have the face of a femme fatale. How did I end up in such a trashy drama?
In the end, it was all because Xu Min was a predator. I was truly pure and had never thought of anything like that. She was the one who crossed the line.
Shang Yi and Xu Wanqing were singing the same tune; no one could save me. After I deleted Xu Min that time, it took a year for her to add me back. I didn't have the heart to delete her again, so I just left her there. We'd chat idly every day, as if nothing had ever happened.
Now Xu Min was deliberately making things difficult for me. I couldn't ask for help, so I had to steel myself and deal with her on my own.
She wanted me to lick her shoes, but I couldn't actually do that, could I? But if I suddenly softened my stance now, I was afraid this fly would indeed bite this cracked egg. So I held my ground for a while, then rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I'm going back to work."
The coffee was already cold. I tossed it aside.
Xu Min followed me, downed the coffee in one gulp, and picked up my little mug to examine it. "Isn't this the one I gave you? You're sentimental, huh."
"It was twelve yuan. I might as well use it."
"Is it that hard to admit you like me? Hmm?"
I couldn't write a single word while staring at the screen. I saved my work and shut down the computer.
"Isn't this disgusting? Wow, the last time I was linked to you, Ugly Boy almost blocked me. Good thing the power's out today and it's dark so no one can see. Otherwise, heaven's justice would be swift and someone would be here to catch us in the act, believe it or not." I spouted nonsense as my hands fumbled for the keys the editor-in-chief had given me. I found a waterproof bag and put my phone and laptop inside, then put it back in my backpack.
I hadn't been in the rain for five seconds before Xu Min dragged me back. I thought she was about to do something drastic, but it turned out she was just slow. She opened her umbrella, yanked me under it, and dragged me up to the ground floor before I even had a chance to lock the door.
"The door isn't locked!" I struggled fiercely, but Xu Min whistled as if she hadn't heard me. It was past midnight, and the streets were deserted, with a car passing only every few minutes. A couple of streetlights were out. We stumbled along in the darkness. I clutched the keys, worried about the office, while Xu Min whistled a tune, looking like a carefree, good-for-nothing heir. The more I looked at her, the more hateful she seemed.
Would any sane person believe she had designs on me? Even a creep like the Old Man knew to hold an umbrella for Shang Yi. She held her own umbrella, strolling leisurely, while I was getting drenched, my clothes ballooning with water.
Her car was parked in an underground garage eight hundred meters away. When she pulled me into the car, I realized her driver had been waiting for a while. I ruled out the insane possibility that she was taking me for a joyride in the middle of the night. I collapsed into the back seat, wiped my hair, and checked that my laptop was undamaged in my bag before finally breathing a sigh of relief.
"Are you that afraid of your boss yelling at you?"
"A girl's gotta eat."
"Even if Shang Yi died, she wouldn't let you end up on the street. You work so hard, but your brain is still so slow. You'll never make it big. Relying on Shang Yi and busying yourself for nothing ends up the same. Are you stupid or what?"
"I'm not busying myself for nothing. You just don't understand the meaning of labor."
"You're just afraid of what people will say. You're always worrying about what this person or that person thinks, and look at the state you're in. Tsk, tsk. How long has it been since you got a haircut? It's so long. And your chest has shrunk to nothing. How does it feel to the touch?"
"Go to hell. That's sexual harassment." I didn't want to talk to Xu Min anymore. She was an extreme individualist. You could tell just from how she couldn't be bothered to hold an umbrella for me. She lived comfortably in her own world and didn't give a damn about whether others lived or died.
I had figured her out.
The car stopped at her place. As I walked in, I was worried she might suddenly turn predatory and I, a weak woman, wouldn't be able to resist. To my surprise, she pulled me over and spent the whole night telling me stories from her childhood. I yelled, "I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it, I'm going to take a shower!" She followed me into the bathroom and squeezed into the tub with me. I had no choice but to listen to her talk about the past. In the process, I learned a shocking secret: she used to have a crush on Shang Yi.
If I actually got together with Xu Min, it would be an offense against heaven and earth. I was exhausted and sleepy as I listened to her. Thankfully, she was a decent storyteller and didn't repeat herself. Even so, it was three in the morning by the time I went to sleep. Xu Min snuggled up and held me as we slept. She was also stingy, refusing to turn the air conditioning down, and it was so hot I dreamed I was trekking across the Sahara.
A lot of yuri novels have this inexplicable cohabitation plot point, and I've always wondered why one of the female leads' homes always happens to have brand new, freshly washed underwear. After meeting Xu Min, I understood. I opened a drawer, and it was full of underwear in my size. Of course, even if it wasn't my size, I could make do. I wasn't picky, having grown up wearing whatever. I asked her from the bottom of my heart if she had been plotting this for a long time. She yawned lazily. "I've been waiting for you to grow up. I've been collecting these for a long time. And you still call me a predator. You're an adult now, but you never say you're happy. Your downstairs is probably growing cobwebs… Tsk, your chest is smaller than it was in high school."
"…" I truly regretted asking. When I got back, I planned to borrow some money from Shang Yi and sign up for a kickboxing class. Every time I saw Xu Min, I'd give her a roundhouse kick.
She was constantly harassing me! This wasn't romantic! It was harassment!
Damn it! Even when being harassed, my personality, which is naturally inclined to be a big, dumb dog, would only let me yell at her a few times with no follow-up. It was so frustrating! Could I ever be as self-centered as Xu Min? Probably not. I have manners. I can't lose face for Shang Yi.
I knew something would happen since I hadn't locked the office. The whole building lost power during the storm last night, and a thief had seized the opportunity.
The moment I walked in, the editor-in-chief gave me a fierce scolding, then dragged me into his office. "Can you just let me trust you for once? Hmm? I give you the keys one time and you don't lock the door. We still haven't finished tallying up what was stolen. And you were late today. I promoted you to vice editor-in-chief and you've done nothing. You didn't even submit the presentation that was due yesterday. How are you going to explain yourself?"
"I'm sorry!" I bowed deeply, wishing I could just die to atone for my mistake.
It was all that person, Xu Min! I was so angry!
A little later, the boss came in. The boss and the editor-in-chief, a man and a woman, criticized me tirelessly, recalling and listing every mistake I had made over the past four years. I had nothing to say; I had indeed made those mistakes. As I nodded and bowed, I kept seeing the boss's prayer beads, small, light-brown walnuts strung together with red thread. His potbelly looked particularly prominent. Middle-aged men could never escape sandals and prayer beads. All he needed was a Maitreya statue in his car to complete the greasy look.
When I walked out of the office, I was no longer the vice editor-in-chief. Yesterday I was the young vice editor-in-chief; today I was not.
To be honest, I didn't feel much grief. At fifteen, I was still in the sixth grade. By twenty-one, I had already graduated from college. Under Shang Yi's cultivation, I worked really hard to finally catch up to my peers. But my aptitude was mediocre. The shining star from the backwater was Li Zhaodi, not me. At that very moment, Li Zhaodi was excitedly telling me about a German client she met today who claimed their pork knuckle and sauerkraut were the best in the world. I laughed and shared all sorts of silly videos with her. She thought I was having a great time, but I was actually sitting in the office, my half-finished presentation open, overhearing from all directions that people had always found my promotion strange, and now my demotion was well-deserved.
I fiddled with the walnuts on my desk until they were smooth and glossy, looking rich and textured. When I was upset, I would pick them up and play with them, entering my senior years ahead of schedule. But besides fiddling with walnuts, what else could you do? This little skill couldn't accomplish anything. Even though I had tried my best not to make Shang Yi feel that adopting me was a mistake, not to make Ugly Boy think I was a total downer, you spend all your time thinking about them, and you still don't know what you should do, or what you can do.
I really envied Xu Min. So four years ago, it was true that I didn't push her away. Shang Yi wasn't wrong about me. I sometimes felt tired of pleasing this person and that person. Of course, being as extremely selfish as Xu Min wasn't good either. I still often thought back to that morning when I was fifteen, when she drove me on the winding mountain road while I screamed nonstop. The police sirens wailed behind us, but as long as we didn't stop, they would never catch up. The wind blew my hair into a straight line, and even my cheeks felt the wind become swift and distant. Every pore was screaming with excitement. I clutched a handful of chocolates Xu Min had given me, and honestly, I really wanted to cry back then.
But even if I could choose again, I would still kneel and beg her for Shang Yi's sake, because Xu Ancheng was alive then, and I didn't want to cause trouble for Shang Yi because of me. Even if pleasing others made me feel tired and annoyed, what could I do? You just care about them so much. It's this strange soft spot that makes you weak, that makes you powerless, and yet also gives you strength. But that's all the strength it gives you!
A little later, someone from finance came over. "Here, the list of missing items has been sent to your email. You were the one who didn't lock the door yesterday. You have to take responsibility."
"Ah, okay, okay!" I took the list and scanned down to the summary. The thief was truly diligent, stealing sixty thousand yuan worth of stuff in one night, and even hauling away an Apple computer.
After I drained my bank account, I was left with only four yuan and twenty-six cents.
Shang Yi wasn't a stingy person, so I wouldn't starve on the street. But the accident had come so suddenly, and I couldn't exactly explain to her that Xu Min had come to find me and I had obediently gone with her… Shang Yi would probably give me the biggest eye-roll of all time and leave me to fend for myself.
When it rains, it pours. My uncle sent me a friendly message: You there?
I figured I was about to bleed some money. Ever since I ran off to the big city with Shang Yi, he was convinced that I had latched onto a sugar daddy at a young age and should contribute to the family to repay his kindness for taking care of me back then.
After I gave him the house in the county, my cousin finished high school. Recently, I noticed my uncle had started sharing articles about studying abroad, so I knew he was probably going to grit his teeth and invest in my smart and witty cousin's education.
There or not, I was not there.
But I couldn't hide forever. He sent a second message: Busy lately?
Busy or not? Always extremely busy.
I hesitated for a long time without responding. He sent a photo: my cousin's university acceptance letter. Well, damn. My cousin was a true hero; she had gotten into Fudan.
At that moment, I felt a wave of shame. It was great that she was self-reliant. Why was I so disgustingly assuming they would come to leech off me?
My cousin had repeated a year to get into a better high school, and then repeated another year for the college entrance exam, determined to go to Fudan. Now that she had achieved her goal, I hadn't even sent a red envelope to congratulate her. Feeling guilty, I replied, "I knew my cousin was amazing," accompanied by three thumbs-up emojis.
"She said she wants to enrich her life during the break. I told her, isn't your cousin in Beijing? See if you can have her help her get some experience, make the most of her vacation."
The request was reasonable enough. My uncle wasn't some sharp-tongued, money-grubbing, short-sighted person from the countryside. I mulled it over for a long time but couldn't think of any place to "enrich her life," so I suggested my cousin get her driver's license.
"Driving school costs money, you know."
Oh, I had spoken out of turn. I switched windows to Ugly Boy and asked to borrow five thousand yuan.
Ugly Boy: "Are you getting an abortion?"
"Tsk, how could I do something so out of line with contemporary behavioral norms? What back-alley clinic would take me? I'm preparing to invest in my cousin. My cousin is a dark horse, destined for greatness in the future…"
Five thousand yuan arrived in my account. I sent it to my uncle, telling him to enroll her in driving school. I also searched for and sent him several articles on "the benefits of getting a driver's license during the break after the college entrance exam." Finally, my uncle sent me a few smiling emojis and happily posted about it on his Moments. I gave it a like and commented that my cousin was so promising, every investment in her education was a wise decision by her parents!
At nine in the evening, the office was still packed. People who had been slacking off all afternoon suddenly began their new-age struggle, taking pictures of the scenery outside the window, holding a broad leaf in front of the lens. Another beautiful night of overtime.
At nine-thirty, a strong wind started to blow outside, and a group of people immediately clocked out. I continued to stare at my unwritten proposal, meditating on the walnuts like an old monk, attempting to gain knowledge through the investigation of things, to comprehend the true meaning of life from a walnut.
When the heavy rain began, no one in the office had the heart to work. They continued to hastily pack their things. Those who had to pick up their kids had already left long ago. Even the boss was gone. There was nothing to prove by staying late. I finally finished my work for the day and was packing up my computer when Xu Min walked in, umbrella in hand, her heels clicking. The wind and rain outside were indeed fierce. Xu Min looked like she'd been blown around like a stray cat, her hair standing on end, and her umbrella was bent out of shape.
"Who are you looking for?" the receptionist asked, sitting up straight. "We're about to close."
"I see that." Xu Min craned her neck and spotted me. She walked over and grabbed my arm. I wasn't short, but she lifted me like a little chick, practically dragging me out.
Suddenly, the newly appointed vice editor-in-chief saw me. "Zhang Xu! Come here for a second, there's a problem here."
I shook off Xu Min and rushed over. The vice editor-in-chief needed changes to a proposal he had made. He said, "You're used to being the vice editor-in-chief, you have experience. Help me revise this. Send it to my email before midnight tonight. I'm leaving now."
So I sat back down and started revising. My butt had just touched the chair when Xu Min pulled me up again. "Let's go. Time to eat."
"Wait, no, I have to work! I'm being gloriously industrious here. You can go be shameful by yourself. All you think about is eating. You're already tall enough to touch the sky, and you're still eating."
"I have a meeting with Shang Yi. Let's go, let's go. If we don't go now, she's going to kill you."
"You're insane!" I shot to my feet.
I certainly had no say in Xu Min and Shang Yi's past. I couldn't control Xu Min deliberately provoking Shang Yi. But the fact that Xu Min had schemed to drag me into this mess was very upsetting… She could meet with Shang Yi if she wanted, but why drag me along? Was this a forced meeting with the parents? We hadn't even gotten to first base…
And why did she have to say it so loudly! The name Shang Yi was legendary in the business world. Ever since the Old Man died, she was no longer a person in the shadows. I had never told anyone at the company that I was Shang Yi's goddaughter. I wasn't born a rich heiress, so why would I go around claiming to be one!
I clearly saw the young woman across from me, who should have been going home, slow down her packing. Ears all around pricked up for gossip.
"Tsk, you think this is a Hongmen Banquet? Shang Yi won't blame you in front of me."
"Ha, just wait until you're gone. I'll be waiting for her to curse me out."
"You're that scared of her… All the more reason to go. Let's go. I'm doing this for your own good."
If it weren't for the curious stares from around the office that I couldn't bear, I would never have given in and gone with her.
Sitting in front of Shang Yi, I felt like I had committed a terrible crime. I kept my head down and ate, not daring to make a peep.
Shang Yi was stunned for a long while before finally speaking. "Alright, Xu Min. I can't control who gets my assets after I die, but don't you think you're getting a little old for this?"
Her words were sharp and hit their mark. But Xu Min was naturally conceited and completely unfazed by such an attack. "Hey, who's old? Let's take out our IDs and compare."
"Then you'd have to call me 'Mom,' you know that?" Shang Yi was still smiling. She always had that facade, a charming smile in her eyes, but her words were unspeakably sharp.
"Sooner or later, it's inevitable. I don't lose anything by saying it once."
I raised my hand. "Actually, it's not what you think. I'm not with her—"
"Shut up." Shang Yi put some food on my plate, her chopsticks trembling so much that she spilled enoki mushrooms all over my bowl. She clearly wasn't as calm as she appeared.
So I excused myself to go to the restroom. I sent Shang Yi a text message saying that I wasn't actually with Xu Min and that I hoped she wouldn't suddenly find herself a stepmom.
But she didn't reply. I had nothing to do, so I touched up my makeup in the mirror. When I came out, Shang Yi was already gone, leaving me alone to face Xu Min. She was really unreliable.
There was a contract on the table. Xu Min pushed it over for me to see. I took a look. Shang Yi was terrifying; she had come prepared. It roughly stipulated that if Xu Min were to harm me in any way, she would have to pay compensation, and detailed the penalties for breach of contract. Party A and Party B had both signed. There were two copies. Shang Yi had already taken her copy, which she would give to Ugly Boy to frame and hang in my home, so I would always remember that I was armed with the law…
Just then, a text message arrived: You should have said so earlier. I've already sold you.
…
A businessperson can truly sell anything.
What era was this, for her to be arranging my marriage? I decided to go back and talk to Shang Yi, but with Xu Min standing here, it was really awkward.
"It's signed. I'm leaving." Xu Min picked up the contract and left, holding that broken, rickety umbrella. I mean, even if I had a sliver of interest, who would be with a woman who wouldn't even hold an umbrella for you? A bit of banter was one thing, but Xu Min was free-spirited and wild, and at her age, still incredibly self-centered. She'd sing in the middle of the night and squeeze in with her friends for beauty treatments and gossip, with no regard for anyone else's feelings.
"What do you really want? Didn't you come here just for me to lick your shoes?"
"You weren't willing." Xu Min turned back. The umbrella completely gave out, and rain poured all over her. She tossed it into a trash can and walked back toward me, chest out, head high, with a grand air.
"I was young and foolish back then. Can you change it to something I can actually do? Something not so humiliating and shameful, and not illegal? Hmm? Once it's done, you can go do whatever and get lost."
"How about this: licking the shoes is licking the shoes. Let's make a date for ten years from now. You want to draw up a contract too?"
"In ten years, I'll be married. I'm not playing this game with you anymore. Be quick about it. It's raining so hard, anyone who didn't know better would think we were in some tragic romance."
Talking in the rain was so melodramatic. It just looked sad, a sadness as heavy as the dark clouds overhead.
"Who? Who are you marrying? Your college classmate? That guy with the Mohawk? Tsk, terrible taste. Can't you just be honest? Hmm? Wow, I flew all the way back here, giving up the pursuit of at least a hundred super handsome men just to find you."
"None of your business. None of my business." These two phrases could really solve all problems. "Make your demand, I'll fulfill it, and then we cut ties."
Did Xu Min think that just because she made a sacrifice for me, I would be moved to tears and cry like I was putting on a show? She was too much. I never asked her to give up a hundred men. And I seriously doubted that number. With her terrible personality, I'd have to set off fireworks to celebrate if there was even one.
"A demand… Hmm, you really have to block me?"
"Yes. Dragging this on isn't a solution. You should also reflect on why you're so annoying."
"Sleep with me?" Xu Min grinned maliciously.
I knew she was worse than a beast.
"Vetoed."
"Alright then. Drive me to Pingdu. Now. Immediately."
"Where?"
"I'll tell you when we get into the city. We should be able to make it in five hours."
I didn't have many opportunities to drive. Although Shang Yi thought it was a basic skill and forced me to get my license, I was a bona fide menace on the road. Xu Min was making things difficult for me. Thinking about it, it made sense. Driving on the highway to Pingdu in the middle of the night, in this heavy rain, I had a feeling some accident was bound to happen.
A coward's mind imagines the worst. But since Xu Min had made her demand, I steeled myself. The thought of finally being free of this lingering connection was wonderful. I borrowed a car from Shang Yi. Xu Min set up the navigation. The destination was so far away, so far that it pulled out memories with it, reminding me that, oh, the first time I saw her was at this hotel.
She'd better not try anything funny. Or she'd get blocked.
There weren't many cars on the road at night, but I was still careful.
Once we were on the highway, Xu Min said slowly, "Wow, so fast. We'll definitely get there by next year, right?"
She was obviously mocking my speed. I glanced at her. "Get out and walk. You'll be there in no time."
"Tsk, faster. The sooner you drop me off, the sooner you're free!"
She had a point.
But I had to work tomorrow. I felt like playing this game with her was pointless. I found an exit and rolled off the highway, then stopped the car. "Get out. I'm going back."
"Then how are you going to repay me?"
"What do I owe you?"
She dragged me out of the driver's seat and threw me into the passenger seat. It seemed she planned to drive to Pingdu herself.
I was just that unpromising. Xu Min could snake her way around a mountain road. I still trusted her driving. So I had nothing to say. I crossed my arms and sat there, fuming, watching the rain wash over the windows as the night and the wind rushed past. I glanced at the speedometer. One hundred and twenty. It seemed steady enough. And so, on this rainy night, Xu Min and I were speeding toward Pingdu, all for a spiteful bet to cut ties.
I don't know how much time passed before Xu Min suddenly said, "We're about to hit the mountain roads again. I'm not slowing down."
"Then you can die by yourself. Don't drag me with you."
"No. If you don't agree, I'll drag you down with me." When Xu Min spoke, she was completely unaware of how serious and solemn her tone was, as if she were about to die with me in a love pact in the next second, a story that could move China and herself.
"Agree to what? To fly away with you in eternal love?"
"Agree to be honest and admit you like me." Xu Min stared straight ahead. I looked at the road in front of us. In the pitch darkness, an occasional streetlight flashed. The mountains in the distance loomed like stone giants. I knew the mountain roads there weren't well-maintained. Even if Xu Min was a street racing god from Mount Akina, the roads were slippery in the rain. If she was determined to take me with her, crashing and dying wasn't out of the question.
We were the same, both orphans. But I had people I cared about, Shang Yi and Xu Wanqing. Xu Min was used to being on her own, all alone. If we died like this, I would clearly be at a disadvantage.
After a long time, the car swerved left, and we turned right into the first mountain. The mountain walls on either side glowed a cold yellow in the night. The headlights shone ahead, like a handful of moonlight cast down, sharp and piercing. I watched the car cut through the night as Xu Min suddenly accelerated.
The needle on the speedometer ticked a few degrees to the right. My body was thrown back against the seat. Ahead was a massive curve.
Xu Min was an alarmist and very good at scaring people. But from what I knew of her, if she wanted me to die with her, she was fully capable of doing it. She was a very extreme person.
The car shot straight forward, scraping against the guardrail as it took the turn. A split second later, and we would have flipped into the ditch and become white bones, a death not even tragically beautiful.
"Xu Min, you're too extreme. Can't you just talk properly? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Why are you trying to kill yourself?"
"I'm not trying to kill myself. I'm trying to show you the meaning of life. Look, we're about to die together. Can't you tell me some truth?"
"Fine, the truth. The truth is I have to work tomorrow and I don't have time to play with you. It's raining hard, the road is slippery. Drive properly, do what you need to do, and let's not make things unpleasant."
Xu Min didn't slow down at all, speeding along the muddy, bumpy mountain road where we could fall into a ravine at any moment, at a life-threatening, race-car speed.
If she wants to die, let her die, I thought, steeling myself.
Doesn't she just like the idea of someone dying for her? Such a self-centered person. She used to say that no one would ever die for her, laughing self-deprecatingly, without ever considering how outrageous that demand was.
We were two grasshoppers in the same car. If she died, I probably wouldn't survive either. Doesn't she just want a tragic romance? Doesn't she want the mountains to crumble and the heavens to fall before she would part with her love?
After knocking over two guardrails, I finally couldn't take it anymore. "Fine! Stop trying to scare me. Look, that mountain pass ahead is perfect. Right there. You want me to die with you to prove I love you, right? Fine. If death is the only proof, then I love you. Come on, crash. To die on the same day of the same month of the same year."
In a flash, the car sped toward the cliff face. The seatbelt yanked me back as Xu Min slammed on the brakes.
The front of the car was only a foot from the rock wall. My soul had yet to return to my body. I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out. The road was so muddy I could barely find a place to stand, so slippery I was sliding as I walked. Xu Min was truly a daredevil. A fire ignited in my heart. In the car, Xu Min chuckled. "I won't force you anymore. Let's go back."
Ten years ago, she was just like this. If she had really died with me, I might have remembered her forever.
What was the use of saying all this? I pushed back my hair, which was soaked like a sea anemone, trying to show my face, and wracked my brain for a few choice words to curse her with.
Suddenly, the bend in the road lit up. In an instant, a truck, horn blaring, failed to brake in time. It scraped the front of our car, slamming Xu Min and the car into the rock wall. The front of the car caved in violently. The truck splashed me with mud.
"What are you doing!" A man got out of the truck, followed by his co-driver.
Honestly, in that moment, I wished I had been in the car, so I wouldn't be standing outside looking like a dumbass. It took me a long time to react, until the man said, "Holy shit, there's someone in the car…"
As if waking from a dream, I scrambled toward the driver's seat. Xu Min was reaching out a hand, covered in blood. "The windshield cut my face. I'm not dead."
Stumbling out of the driver's seat, Xu Min clutched her right cheek, where there was a long, narrow gash.
"Find a way to call someone to tow the car. I'll pay. There's a gas station five minutes down the road. I'll get it bandaged up a bit. I'm fine." Xu Min held her face and directed the man to make a call. The heavy rain washed over us. I found the toolbox, which had a few bandages.
But what the hell good was a bandage at a time like this? I clutched the bandage as the man helped Xu Min into his truck.
By the time we got to the gas station and she had been simply bandaged up, I hadn't said a word. The young woman at the gas station was stunned. She said, "Are you two acting out some tragic life-and-death romance on the road in this storm?" Xu Min wasn't embarrassed at all, loudly proclaiming what she had said to me on the road, and what I had said back. The young woman's eyes went wide. "You two aren't ordinary people, are you!"
Of course not. I was an ordinary person. If I died, I wouldn't have to pay back the five thousand yuan I owed Ugly Boy. If Xu Min died, the world would be short one rich woman.
It was clear Xu Min's injuries weren't serious. She was grimacing and flirting with the young woman, bragging. I tossed the bandages at her and sat down on a chair in the adjacent store, buying a bag of dried fruit for myself.
Human life is precious. Xu Min had cherished hers at the last moment, but the accident came right on time. Xu Min deserved a lesson. She was always talking about death. Now that she had died once, she should be a bit more mature.
Later that night, I was wondering whether to rent a car and go back to work or just go on to Pingdu. Xu Min came over with half her face wrapped in gauze. She was a frightening sight at first glance. "This sob story really wasn't my doing."
"I don't fall for sob stories either. If you died, I'd have peace and quiet. Everything would be solved." I chewed on the dried fruit, my jaw aching. It was so sour it almost brought tears to my eyes.
"Can't you be a little gentle for once? I'm in this state."
"Didn't you already know I was cold-blooded?"
I tossed her a piece of dried fruit. She winced as she bit into it, the movement pulling at her wound. So she swallowed it whole, her eyes bulging.
If you can't swallow it, then don't. A big bag of dried fruit cost twenty-five yuan. It's not like she was short on this one piece. Why did she have to look so pathetic, like she was committing suicide by swallowing gold? Was she putting on a show for me? The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. She might as well have just died back there. In that terrifying moment when I didn't know if she was alive or dead, I had genuinely regretted not confessing to her. But her self-centered and arrogant demeanor made it impossible for me to choose her, though I didn't know if she had stopped the car in front of the cliff for my sake or for hers.
"I'll take you back to work tomorrow. I'll compensate you for Shang Yi's car."
"Just take care of yourself." I stood up, not wanting to breathe the same air as her. I went outside. The night rain was falling with a brutal irrationality. I was shivering from the cold, my clothes still not dry and covered in mud spots.
Standing under the same eaves as Xu Min, I felt like the roof had gotten lower. It was her fault for being so tall. If we could have a child, with these excellent genes, the kid could surpass us and shoot up to two meters tall.
My thoughts were inexplicably wandering. This person was truly toxic. I was even thinking about children. It was terrifying. Xu Min stood beside me with her arms crossed, unusually quiet. I didn't think her IQ was very high. Back then, she was actually tricked into kneeling and apologizing. If I could go back ten years, I would definitely shake my own head and tell myself, Xu Min is Shang Yi's enemy, but it has nothing to do with you!
"When we get back, I won't bother you anymore. But I still think you'll never get married…"
See? That's Xu Min for you. She can make even a perfectly fine sentence sound so punchable.
"None of your business."
After dawn, the person from the car rental company arrived. Xu Min paid ten times the fee. Even in such a desolate place, they could still deliver. We had been standing under the eaves for several hours, and our legs were weak.
Xu Min walked forward without a second thought, stumbling. Her face was still wrapped in gauze. She looked like some unknown creature that had escaped from a zombie movie. She pulled open the car door, sat down, and rolled down the window to look at me with her head tilted.
Would we really be even after we went back? She wouldn't have any more ideas about me?
I pulled open the car door, dragged her out, and got in myself, gripping the steering wheel. The door was still open. Xu Min stood there. "What are you doing?"
"Where to? Pingdu or Beijing?"
"To Pingdu, right? Weren't we going to cut ties?" Xu Min lazily got into the passenger seat. I locked the doors and turned on the navigation.
"Hey, hey, hey, why are you going back to Beijing?"
"I have to work." I glanced at my watch. If we hurried, I could be like justice: though I might be late, I wouldn't be absent.
"Aren't you cutting ties with me?"
"I am, of course I am," I said, turning on the stereo and blasting the morning radio broadcast. "You had two proposals, right? I choose proposal one."
"Tsk, be clearer. This time, you're the one who wants to sleep with me. I didn't harass you."
"After we're done, you can get lost. Far away. And remember to pay the bill."
"That sounds so weird. When did you get into this line of work?"
I was referring to the wrecked car. Xu Min had automatically assumed something else. I didn't bother to correct her.
The volume of the stereo got louder and louder, so loud that I could barely hear what nonsense Xu Min was chattering about. Only then did I formulate my reply to her.
"I like you, okay? But you have to clean up your act and start acting like a decent human being!"
"What did you say?" Xu Min practically had to press her ear to my mouth to ask.
"I've said it." I turned the volume back to normal and made a right turn at yesterday's cliff face. I glanced at it as the car sped past.
"I recorded it!" Xu Min took out her phone and started playing my foolish, nonsensical words. It was truly grating and unpleasant to the ear.
I heard my own gravelly voice say, "I like you, okay?"
My face turned beet red with embarrassment, and I stopped the car.
"Hey, drive! What if someone rear-ends us! Go, go, go!"
It seemed yesterday's accident had scared her badly. All bark and no bite.
"You're so afraid of dying now? I'm about to die with you right now, a lover's suicide. We're going to turn into butterflies and fly away. You're not happy?"
I said that, but I couldn't possibly die here in this deserted wilderness.
Xu Min was very afraid of dying now.
"I don't want to die now. It's not easy to hear you be honest for once. I haven't even gotten to try the eighteen lesbian positions with you yet. It would be such a waste to die," Xu Min said.
"Alright, alright… Disgusting! Cheesy! Pervert!"
"Tsk." Xu Min crossed her arms and fell silent.
My name is Zhang Xu. I am now driving home with Xu Min, who was originally going to take me with her in a lover's suicide but suddenly chickened out. I still haven't figured out how to explain to Shang Yi that after a series of twists and turns, she has still become a stepmom. But I don't think she'll be very happy… right?
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