TBTTSP - Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Zhang Xu Has No Story (12)

By the time I sat down, I had already calmly accepted the fact that Shang Yi and Xu Wanqing were together.

Except for the fantastical fact that Xu Wanqing had already lived for over five hundred years.

I looked at Ugly Boy, holding an iPad with the professional air of an English butler. Then I looked at the dreadlocked Old Girl who had just entered, standing dutifully by the door, leaning on a baseball bat and looking like she was about to kill someone. Then I looked at Shang Yi, cracking melon seeds. And then there was Xu Wanqing in front of me, her face unfamiliar but her feet clearly a pair that had only recently been unbound. All of them, coincidentally, wore the same expression on their faces:

Composure.

I was the one who wasn't composed. I took back my ID card. When Xu Wanqing and Shang Yi finished talking and returned, I rubbed my knees and held my breath, concentrating.

Xu Wanqing said, "This isn't the first time we've met. The last time we saw each other was in the tomb. Do you remember?"

To be honest, I didn't remember.

I wracked my brain, trying my best to recall details I had never remembered or had perhaps forgotten. In the end, I just shook my head.

Shang Yi handed me a handful of melon seeds. She was really considerate. I was so nervous my thigh was cramping and I needed something to distract myself.

Xu Wanqing and Shang Yi exchanged a look, which reminded me of how my parents used to look at each other a long time ago. It was the kind of look that precedes a storm, followed by some not-so-good decisions. For example, after exchanging a look, my parents would decide who would beat me that day, or which new place they were going to for work, forcing me to transfer schools again.

Sure enough, Shang Yi coughed twice. "You need to get your head checked."

Do you hear yourself? Even if I'm slow and have a bad memory, you don't have to put it like that, okay?

What if Xu Wanqing was mistaken?

No sooner said than done. We left Ugly Boy behind to explain my whereabouts to Li Zhaodi, and just like that, they dragged me off to pack my things and go to Beijing to see a doctor and find out if there was something wrong with my brain.

The journey was long. Old Girl was popping pimples in a mirror, not looking at all like a bodyguard. I was sandwiched between Xu Wanqing and Shang Yi. They didn't talk much to each other; everything was directed at me. They had a clear division of labor, coming at me from both sides. Shang Yi started:

"Zhang Xu, try to recall the circumstances of your parents' death. Do you remember the specific details? Were you really not there at the time?"

"Have you been studying hard lately?"

"What exactly happened last time you ran into Xu Min?"

After I answered each question: "Ah, I don't really remember. I don't think I was there. I woke up from a nap and someone told me my parents were gone… I haven't been studying hard lately, I've been too busy pissing off Xu Min. Xu Min went crazy and selfishly dragged me out to race on a winding mountain road…"

After Shang Yi nodded thoughtfully, there was a short intermission. I drank a glass of orange-flavored water, and then Xu Wanqing began:

She described how she had woken up, how she'd seen my parents get greedy and come down to steal things, only to get themselves killed by dynamite, and how after she pushed me out, I no longer recognized her.

Then she described waiting a long time until Shang Yi came down to see her, and how she was now living at her place.

"So you have two souls? The you from five hundred years ago and the you now aren't the same person?"

"I'm afraid so. When we tested it before, the soul left the body, and upon waking again, there was no memory of having been anywhere else. But if they were truly unrelated, my soul should not have been able to leave."

I was afraid I'd never figure out Xu Wanqing's situation, so I turned to look at Shang Yi. She was looking down, flipping through a magazine. After rustling through a couple of pages, she said softly, "There was once a theory that the soul has weight—maybe 21 grams, maybe 35 grams—treating the soul as a kind of substance. I'm not an academic, and this isn't the kind of thing you can discuss openly. But rather than investigating how the soul operates, or whether Xu Wanqing has one soul or two, none of it has any meaning anymore. Right now, the only thing that matters is that I'm the one soul-transmigrating into you."

I nodded.

"I used to think…" She drew out her words slightly, her voice very soft. "Since this uncontrollable force has bound us so closely together, then first, we must accept the reality, and second, we must take control of the changes. That's why I decided to make you my goddaughter. Of course, there was an element of guilt in it, too…"

"Ah, I kind of have to… have to take a… no, I mean, I need to use the restroom…" I lifted my butt, almost standing up, but Shang Yi shot me a glance, and I got scared and sat right back down.

Shang Yi gave me a serious look that said she was about to discuss important business, and I didn't dare act rashly.

It was just like how my dad would put on a grim, dark face right before he was about to tie me to a tree and whip me. Back then, I would sense the danger and immediately scramble out of the house to escape. Even though the beating would be worse when I came back, I still wanted to run.

Now, I didn't dare run, and I couldn't avoid the issue. I hunched my shoulders and hung my head, awaiting my sentence.

"Later, I changed my mind. I've gotten to know you well enough, and I think you're a good person. I want to be a family with you."

My legs wouldn't move.

I thought she was going to say something like, "The sight of you annoys me now. You're too stupid and there's something wrong with your brain. If I wasn't soul-transmigrating into you, I'd kick you to death." I didn't even have time to hold back my tears. I awkwardly let my teary eyes droop, wanting to laugh but not daring to, while feeling it was inappropriate to cry. If Shang Yi saw me, she would think I was pathetic.

"However, a choice is a two-way street. I've gotten to know you, so I should be more honest and let you get to know me, so you can properly choose whether or not you want to be a family with me. For me to decide on my own is a bit tyrannical and unreasonable. This soul transmigration is an opportunity. Since we can't figure out how to solve it, we should just accept the reality. We need to communicate more. I no longer want to just give you orders about what you should do. I'm still just one person, and my thinking is very narrow. I might be able to solve my own problems, but I've brought a lot of trouble into your life."

What was with Shang Yi? Didn't she choose me? Now she wanted me to choose whether or not I chose her?

Her giving me the initiative was no different from handing a country's nuclear button to a little kid on the street making mud pies with his own pee. The kid would just giggle foolishly. His mind isn't fully developed—how could he make an independent choice?

I appealed to Xu Wanqing for help, throwing my scorching gaze in her direction. But Xu Wanqing was just someone from ancient times; she couldn't quite understand my current expression, which was torn between wanting to cry but having no tears, struggling, and being conflicted. She just smiled faintly.

She did help me after all. She looked up at Shang Yi. "Why say this now? It's too sudden. If she doesn't choose you, are you really going to abandon her?"

Of course I wasn't going to not choose her! But it was so embarrassing to say it like that! Xu Wanqing, how could you be so blunt! Aren't you from ancient times?!

Was I supposed to eagerly nod my head the second after Shang Yi asked, like some gold digger afraid her sugar daddy might change his mind?

It was too embarrassing. For me to frankly express to Shang Yi things like, "I really admire you, I really support you, it's the fortune of three lifetimes to be your family, I'm so happy you accept me too," was no different from asking me to spontaneously learn how to apologize to Li Zhaodi.

At that moment, I really wished Shang Yi were Xu Min. Then I could have retorted without hesitation: "Didn't you already decide this a long time ago? I never rejected you. Are you asking me now because you want me to back out? Not a chance!"

Shang Yi was still flipping through the magazine, staring at the same ad for far too long. A man in a suit wearing a watch posed like a business elite against a black gradient background. Below was the slogan: Business Glory, a Gentleman's Reserved Quality.

I'm not a man, so how did I suddenly become so reserved!

"This is an aside. I think you've lost a piece of your memory, so I'm taking you to a doctor. And along the way, I felt I should tell you more things, to save you a lot of trouble in your life."

Shang Yi finally turned past that "reserved" page, and I breathed a small sigh of relief.

---

My name is Zhang Xu. I was at the doctor's today because my godmother-in-name and her ambiguous love interest thought I had amnesia.

The doctor was an acquaintance of Shang Yi's. Under his care, I was run all over this small hospital, going through all sorts of tests, examinations, and procedures I couldn't name—like having my head stuck inside this machine and that machine, which silently produced a pile of reports.

Shang Yi came to get me. She and Xu Wanqing were standing together, and the two of them walked in like a harmonious couple. The doctor's brow was furrowed; he said he would tell her the results the next day. So, Shang Yi took me out to eat. While Xu Wanqing was in the restroom, I whispered that I felt like I was glowing.

"I'm begging you, save me." Shang Yi sighed, glanced toward the restroom, and said in a low voice, "Don't let me be alone with her!"

"Did you two have a fight?"

The last time the two of them seemed to be in conflict, Shang Yi had me burn Xu Wanqing's kite. Now Shang Yi was being sneaky again, looking like she was up to no good.

But Xu Wanqing had helped me out today, so I secretly decided that if Shang Yi tried to instigate me into doing something bad again, I would sternly refuse or sabotage her plans.

"It's not a fight… Why is a little kid like you being so gossipy?"

"Oh. Then why!"

Shang Yi slapped her forehead and grabbed me, looking deeply distressed. "Do you know what my profession is?"

"An overbearing CEO?"

"…You're getting cocky, treating me like I'm Xu Min! Forget it, forget it, it's fine. My profession is very disgraceful. I'm…"

"The Big Boss Xu Ancheng's mistress?"

"You know!"

"You can find it online!"

Being a mistress is immoral, of course. You can't escape punishment for it. At the very least, you should be spat on by all the neighborhood aunties and put in the stocks.

That's the problem with people—we protect our own. Xu Min was right; even at my young age, my values were all wrong. The facts had already slapped me in the face a hundred times, but I still insisted on not seeing them.

"Anyway, a mistress has to act like a mistress. I can't have… any kind of relationship with her! But the problem is, I have to take care of her now. She's from ancient times, you get it? She can't live independently in the modern world."

"Ooh, you care about her."

"Obviously."

After a moment, Xu Wanqing came out. Shang Yi immediately changed her expression and enthusiastically pulled her along. "Let's go, let's go, time to eat."

Although I didn't quite understand what Shang Yi was so conflicted about, since she had asked so sincerely, I decided to mercifully help her.

I must be the fated enemy of the God of Marriage in this life. During the meal, I squeezed in to sit next to Xu Wanqing, preventing her from getting close to Shang Yi, and I desperately piled food onto her plate so she wouldn't have a chance to serve Shang Yi.

I also used this as an opportunity to stay over at Xu Wanqing's place. I discovered she was writing a novel, with annotations from Shang Yi below. Such persistence, as if five hundred years were but a single day. I closed the novel and pestered Xu Wanqing with questions: what were ancient times like, did foot-binding hurt, did it hurt to walk now that her feet were unbound, was she used to living here?

Xu Wanqing patiently answered me, and I couldn't see any sign that she was trying to get closer to Shang Yi.

Xu Wanqing spoke as gently as a radio host; her soft, whispering voice made my bones melt. And it was strange—I've seen so many "internet celebrity faces" that my sense of aesthetics has been poisoned, yet I could still see the beauty in Xu Wanqing's monolids. Other people with monolids have eyelids so swollen they look like they've cried all night, but hers made her gaze flow and her eyes dance with spirit. When Nüwa created people, she must have taken extra care sculpting her. She reminded me of an exquisite white porcelain court lady figurine; her whole aura was different from that of modern people.

Shang Yi was on the balcony talking business on the phone. After a while, she grabbed her bag and left, saying she might not be back that night, and if she did return, it would be in the early hours of the morning. She told the two of us to go to sleep first.

"She's always like this. She comes occasionally and always leaves in a hurry. As soon as someone calls, she can't stay. Sometimes she leaves in the middle of the night; sometimes she'll put down her chopsticks before she's even finished her meal and go. She's so busy she can't even stand still."

The door closed. Xu Wanqing sighed softly and glanced back, but she didn't even catch a glimpse of Shang Yi's departing figure.

"In your ancient times, did you have this… you know… the 'passion of the cut sleeve'…?"

"Cut… Ah, no. You're referring to relations between women, aren't you?"

"Oh, right. You like Shang Yi, don't you?"

She lowered her head and smiled.

I hugged my knees and watched her. Her shy smile was truly beautiful. It was a good thing Shang Yi wasn't the type to be ruled by love; otherwise, she'd be skipping the morning court session every day.

"I am pedantic, old-fashioned, and outdated. A zombie that has crawled out of its coffin."

"Eek, it's the middle of the night. Don't say that."

"I actually don't expect too much. It's just… if you also lived for a hundred years, five hundred years, and then you met her, you would feel that the love and pleasure of a single lifetime is far too brief, and not that important."

"Oh…"

I remained skeptical.

"You just want to look at her, to watch from afar. But feelings of love can never be hidden. You say you have no desires, but in reality, you've long been unwilling to accept that. First, you want her to understand your feelings. Then, you can't bear the thought of being alone again after her hundred years are up, so you give her the Immortality Pill, so she can live until you die. Once you've given it, you then feel that only the two of you should be able to live that long. How could anyone else be worthy? So you ask for more and more, becoming ever more greedy, until things get out of hand. At that point, you have to put your entire being into it, fighting for what you must have, fighting to the bitter end. You become extreme. Either you stay together forever, or…"

"You grow old and die without ever seeing each other again?" I chimed in.

The fact that Xu Wanqing had lived for five hundred years was already a done deal. Shang Yi had taught me to accept reality and strive to control it. Now I learned from Xu Wanqing that Shang Yi could live even longer with her. In that case, this issue was not something I could interfere with.

When everyone currently on Earth is dead and gone, the two of them will still be alive. What will be important then? Nothing will be important anymore.

"Am I being too greedy?"

"Greedy? Well, I've never been in a relationship, so I wouldn't know!"

"Zhang Xu," she said seriously.

I quickly sat up straight.

"Thank you."

Huh? Are you thanking my body for letting you and Shang Yi meet?

Are you two even human?

"You're welcome," I replied sourly.

"Get some rest." She stood up and patted my shoulder lightly.

I suddenly thought of something. "Xu… Xu Wanqing, do you want to come live with me?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Li Zhaodi and I live in a house in Pingdu. She doesn't like me; she likes people who are good at studying and can write classical poetry. She only liked being friends with me when you were soul-transmigrating into my body. I'm all alone there with no one to support me, so lonely. You live alone too, so come hang out with me. I'm stupid anyway, so you can use me as an excuse to learn a lot of basic modern knowledge."

After searching the whole room, I finally found a sticky note and wrote down my number. "You know how to make a phone call, right? Don't tell Shang Yi. Call me when you've decided. I'll make you fish-fragrant shredded pork."

"I have no intention of moving out of here…"

"Just come visit sometimes."

She took it. I rolled back to bed. The next morning, Shang Yi burst in and dragged me out from under the covers. "The results are in. I've scheduled surgery for you. You have a blood clot here, and here…"

Shang Yi's voice sounded like it was coming from another world. I groggily fell back asleep even as she was grabbing me by the collar.

When I got up again, Shang Yi and Xu Wanqing had already eaten breakfast, and Ugly Boy had arrived. Old Girl was sprawled on the sofa, fast asleep. He stood beside her, silently farted in her direction, and fanned it over before walking up to me to show me where the blood clot was in my brain and which nerves were acting up.

I grunted in acknowledgment as Old Girl shot up in a rage. "I dreamed I was fighting a dog over a piece of shit!"

Shang Yi flicked her eyes sideways, and Old Girl immediately realized the culprit was the seemingly presentable but secretly flatulent Ugly Boy. She charged over like a cannon to blow him up.

I sat down at the table. Shang Yi was drinking tea. Xu Wanqing passed over a small, plum-blossom-shaped dish filled with little pastries.

"Afternoon tea?"

"It's not afternoon yet. This afternoon, I'll be soul-transmigrating into you. I've scheduled your surgery for the day after tomorrow."

"Will I remember everything after the surgery?"

"Ah, no. The doctor said there's something extra in there that's obstructing your memory, which is why you can't remember things in class. It might help you remember something. You don't want something extra in your brain, do you?"

I nodded, not daring to say anything.

"Have you thought about what I told you yesterday?"

I immediately started hemming and hawing as if my mouth had been stuffed.

Shang Yi smiled, took a small red bean pastry, and stuffed it in my mouth. "I'm great, aren't I?"

How could she praise herself like that?

"You are great."

"I understand."

What do you understand?

I thought about it blankly for a moment. Ugly Boy broke free from Old Girl's grasp and came over to speak for Shang Yi. "The surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow, and the adoption papers will be sorted out tomorrow. Isn't that perfect?"

Maybe no one else has this kind of good luck. I didn't wake up to my father telling me our family was actually very rich and it was all just a test to forge my character, nor did I wake up to discover I was the long-lost daughter of some wealthy family.

But this kind of luck was like waking up in a five-hundred-square-meter bed, with over two hundred maids of all shapes and sizes standing beside me, saying, "Young Miss, you're finally awake."

I wished I could cry tears of pearl from my eyes and stroke my rainbow-colored hair to express my joy.

I muttered to myself, "My luck is just too good, isn't it?"

"Accept reality, A-Xu." Shang Yi put down her cup, stood up, rinsed her mouth, changed into pajamas, and lay down on the sofa with a peaceful expression.

I still hadn't figured out what she was doing when my head suddenly went fuzzy, and I lost consciousness.

Oh, so she was timing her soul transmigration precisely.

Being soul-transmigrated into under everyone's watchful eyes felt weird.

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