IVYSCP - Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Hearing Pei Si calling her name even in dreams, Ling Qingyue felt both glad and heartbroken. She gently wiped the woman's forehead and cheeks with a soft cloth.

"Ling Qingyue..."

Pei Si murmured softly, a trace of tears in her voice.

Ling Qingyue's hand stilled. Her gaze slowly settled at the corner of the other's eye. As her fingertip brushed past, it left a trail of wetness.

Pei Si was crying in her dream.

"What are you dreaming about me that makes you this sad?"

Ling Qingyue knew she could not hear her, but she still coaxed her gently. "I'm right here. I'm fine. Don't cry."

She suddenly thought to herself that it was a good thing she had met Pei Si after her revival. If they had met before, making Pei Si live through her death... how devastated would she have been?

Ling Qingyue could not bear to make her that sad.

She did not know if these words had reached Pei Si in her dream, but after she spoke, the tension in Pei Si's brow slowly eased.

Ling Qingyue gazed at her face. That vague sense of haziness surfaced again. After a moment of hesitation, she reached out and touched.

First the brows, then the nose, then the mouth...

Something was off.

The features her eyes perceived were different from what she felt under her hand.

Ling Qingyue's fingers were still pressed against Pei Si's lower lip. It was softer than she had imagined, yet less full than it appeared, somewhat thinner.

Ling Qingyue tried to picture it. Pei Si's original appearance was likely more distant and coolly detached than what she saw now.

Why?

Ling Qingyue pressed her lips together. A sense of disappointment inevitably rose in her heart. Why would Pei Si hide this even from her?

She had told Pei Si everything. Yet Pei Si seemed to have told her nothing. Even Pei Si's identity was something she had figured out herself.

A feeling of emptiness washed over Ling Qingyue. She could not grasp Pei Si.

But everything Pei Si did—the indulgence and teasing, the careful tenderness, the killing rage ignited for her sake regardless of her own safety, and now, crying out her name in sleep—Ling Qingyue could feel Pei Si's affection for her. So why the secrecy?

Ling Qingyue brooded, pressing her fingers a little harder as if to vent her frustration, kneading the woman's lips.

When she lowered her head, she met a pair of clear, shallow eyes. Pei Si had woken up at some point without her noticing.

"..."

Pei Si looked at Ling Qingyue, then lowered her gaze to Ling Qingyue's hand.

Ling Qingyue was about to pull her hand back when her fingertip suddenly sank into softness and was gently bitten.

She was already holding a bit of resentment in her heart, and now she had been bitten. Ling Qingyue gave her a small glare.

Pei Si had woken up to find Ling Qingyue up to mischief. Recalling how she had recklessly gone out to exchange sword moves with Cui Heng earlier, she gave her a bite as punishment. She had not expected Ling Qingyue to glare back so fiercely.

Ling Qingyue gritted her teeth, choosing not to settle accounts with her right then. But this debt would be settled sooner or later.

She kept a tight expression and asked stiffly, with forced concern, "Are you feeling better?"

Pei Si detected the tone and fell silent for a moment. It was full of awkward, tangled energy.

What was it this time? Was she unhappy because Pei Si had been too fierce earlier?

That made sense. Ling Qingyue did not like her when she was cold and fierce.

Pei Si's hand moved, brushing against Ling Qingyue's. She grasped it and shook it gently, just as Ling Qingyue had done before when holding her shoulders and rocking softly.

She promised quietly, "I was wrong to be so fierce with you earlier. It won't happen again."

Don't dislike her.

Because she had wept in her sleep, the corners of Pei Si's eyes were tinged with faint red. Paired with that coaxing, ingratiating tone, she looked rather pitiful. Ling Qingyue's nose stung. She could not understand why a Pei Si like this would not even tell her what she really looked like.

This was the first time she had ever liked someone so wholeheartedly, confiding everything. Of course she wanted the other person to treat her the same way.

"Pei Si." Ling Qingyue squeezed her hand. "Is there something you've been hiding from me?"

Her voice was soft, but it was not a question.

Pei Si's hand stiffened, and her expression pulled taut. She studied Ling Qingyue's face, uncertain what she already knew.

But one thing was certain. Ling Qingyue knew something.

"Yes."

Pei Si's throat tightened. Slowly, she withdrew her hand.

Ling Qingyue caught her retreating hand at once. She leaned closer, looking into her eyes.

Eyes do not lie. She saw her own reflection in Pei Si's gaze.

"You can't tell me? Or it's not convenient to tell me right now?"

Pei Si gazed back into her eyes. Her voice trembled slightly. "I don't dare."

I don't dare tell you.

Ling Qingyue was taken aback. She had never imagined Pei Si's answer would be "I don't dare."

"Why?"

Pei Si lowered her eyes, avoiding her gaze.

Ling Qingyue did not want to press her at this moment either. There would be plenty of time later. She could wait for Pei Si to speak up on her own.

Being this close, Pei Si could smell the scent of blood on Ling Qingyue. She propped herself up to take a look, but Ling Qingyue did not move away. Their noses brushed lightly, breaths intertwining.

At such close range, Ling Qingyue could not help but think of what Gu Huai had said about dual cultivation—something even more intimate and close than this, whispered endearments and seamless union.

Ling Qingyue was not naive. Back in Shangtianqiong, when Yue Shouming refused to listen properly to the elders' lectures, she would bury her head and write vulgar stories underneath. Some protagonists were human. Some story protagonists were not even human. After finishing, she would insist on showing them to her and Yu Liuli, demanding their critique.

At first, Ling Qingyue and Yu Liuli would blush furiously and curse her for being shameless. But after reading enough, if a story lacked anything unspeakable, they found it hard to get used to.

With the cold fragrance of Pei Si filling her breath, Ling Qingyue's mind began to scatter. Scenes she had read before—certain positions and scenarios—surfaced uncontrollably, now starring her and Pei Si...

The moment she realized what she was thinking, Ling Qingyue shot to her feet, putting distance between them. The movement pulled at her already split wound, making her hiss in pain.

Pei Si sat up to help her, but she had only just regained consciousness herself. Her body swayed immediately after.

Seeing this, Ling Qingyue said quickly, "Don't move!"

Pei Si's eyes held worry. "Your wound..."

"It's nothing. It just split open again. Lu Yao will be here soon to brew medicine for Lin Zhao and Xue Zizai anyway. I'll have her help me deal with it." Ling Qingyue saw how pale Pei Si's face was and added, "Rest well. We'll talk once you're feeling better."

Pei Si pressed her lips together. "That won't do."

Ling Qingyue looked puzzled. "Hm? What won't do?"

Pei Si raised her eyes to look at her, a hint of displeasure in her gaze. "You have a family now. You must not undress in front of others, and do not touch others so casually. Mind your boundaries."

She had wanted to say this a few days ago. When Ling Qingyue taught, she taught, but she did not need to always do such intimate things as pinching Lu Yao's cheeks and ruffling her hair.

Ling Qingyue blinked, looking at the perfectly serious Pei Si. That phrase "You have a family now" filled her heart to the brim.

"I'll remember." Ling Qingyue turned her back and raised a hand to press the corner of her own mouth. "Then you help me treat and apply the medicine."

Pei Si gave a soft hum. Her tone suggested she took this as a matter of course.

She was that family. In front of her, Ling Qingyue could undress. Toward her, Ling Qingyue could touch as she pleased.

Ling Qingyue changed into a fresh set of robes—also Pei Si's—and sat cross-legged before Pei Si, pulling her inner garment down to her waist.

Pei Si frowned slightly at the wound on her back. The injury that had been improving was worse again, and the surrounding skin had become red and swollen.

As Pei Si applied the medicine, she instructed, "Do not practice sword exchanges with Lu Yao for the next few days."

"Alright." Ling Qingyue was obedient this time.

After the medicine was applied, Pei Si lay down again. Ling Qingyue sprawled beside her, twirling a strand of Pei Si's hair between her fingers.

A while later, Ling Qingyue shifted closer to Pei Si, resting her head on Pei Si's shoulder with one arm wrapped around her waist.

"Pei Si."

"Hm?"

"Gu Huai told me about a method that could help regulate the spiritual energy in your body." Ling Qingyue's face grew warm.

"What?"

"Dual cultivation." Ling Qingyue's voice was so small it was barely audible, as if forced out through a hum.

Pei Si's breathing paused for an instant.

"Also, she knows." Ling Qingyue did not elaborate, but she knew Pei Si would understand what she meant. "She figured it out the first time we went to Medicine Peak."

Pei Si thought of Gu Huai's past and was not overly surprised. From Ling Qingyue's tone, Gu Huai had likely not told anyone else either.

Ling Qingyue continued, "She said I can't leave this body. I remember you seemed to have asked me a similar question before—what I would do if I couldn't leave this body. Did you already know back then that I might have to remain a demon forever?"

"Yes." Pei Si raised a hand to rub her head. "I was afraid you couldn't accept it before, so I never said anything."

Ling Qingyue smiled. As expected, she thought. When she had heard Gu Huai's words, she had immediately recalled what Pei Si had asked her that day. Pei Si would not have said such things without reason.

"I've already died once. What can't I accept?" Ling Qingyue finished speaking and nudged Pei Si's shoulder with her head. "What about you? How can you accept... your own family being a demon?"

"Because..."

Pei Si silently finished the sentence in her heart. Because I already lost you once.

"Because what?"

"Because if you marry a chicken, you follow the chicken. If you marry a dog, you follow the dog." Pei Si quoted something she had heard in Linshui Town.

Ling Qingyue froze for a moment, then burst out laughing.

The demon that the Immortal Realm shunned, they discussed so casually.

When Ling Qingyue had laughed enough, she spoke again. "There's one more thing."

Pei Si hummed in response, listening quietly.

"When Gu Huai told me about the dual cultivation method, she said I wouldn't affect you. I asked why, and she said I could ask you about that." Ling Qingyue turned her head to look at Pei Si and asked, "Why?"

Pei Si thought for a moment. "Perhaps because Yu Liuli and Qiu Feng set a precedent. Qiu Feng is half-human half-demon, and Yu Liuli was never affected by Qiu Feng."

Ling Qingyue's eyes widened in shock. "Liuli and Qiu Feng are... Dao companions?"

"Otherwise, why do you think Yu Liuli fought to the death to protect Qiu Feng when their identity was exposed?"

Ling Qingyue still had some reservations. "It really won't have any effect?"

Pei Si looked at her, a faint smile curving her lips.

Ling Qingyue saw a meaningful depth in that smile, and only then did the implication of what she had just asked sink in.

It was as if she had been asking: if there really is no effect, then she could dual cultivate with Pei Si.

Ling Qingyue immediately turned her head away. "I'm going to sleep."

Pei Si laughed softly, and that laugh was right beside Ling Qingyue's ear. She liked it far too much.

Ling Qingyue raised her hand and covered Pei Si's mouth, fierce. "Stop laughing."

Pei Si nodded, but those eyes held scattered flecks of light. The laughter could not be concealed.

Ling Qingyue looked at her, and in a rush of heat, the words slipped out.

"Pei Si, let's form a Dao bond."

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