Indulgence - Chapter 9
Chapter 9
"Lin Xuan." Even in this situation, Yao Ran remained calm. "You're drunk. Go home and cool off."
"Cool off? Right, Director Yao is always the calmest..." Lin Xuan's words were incoherent as he cried out with a bitter laugh, "Don't you know how I've treated you? I've given so much for you, but what have you ever given for me?"
Yao Ran didn't want to drag this out and make a scene. She tried to walk around Lin Xuan to leave, but he yanked her arm fiercely, then gripped her wrist in a death lock.
"Don't you go! You hear me? You're not allowed to go!" The man used all his strength to hold her back. "You haven't answered me! I gave so much for you... and you? Have you ever thought about changing for me? Do you know how wronged I felt being with you? You couldn't even change a little bit for me?"
Yao Ran stared at him. Tonight was the first time she had heard Lin Xuan's true thoughts, and perhaps she should have realized it sooner. It was for the best. The pretense between them should have been torn down long ago; it was a relief now that it was.
"I made myself clear before we got married. Lin Xuan, I never asked you to endure anything for me. If you couldn't accept it and felt wronged, you could have told me directly. I would have understood." Yao Ran was terrifyingly composed, her eyes still devoid of any significant emotion. "Now, you are completely free to find a woman who is more suitable for you, so you don't have to feel wronged anymore."
Her cold, indifferent attitude only fueled Lin Xuan's anger. He squeezed her wrist even tighter. "You don't have any feelings for me at all, do you?"
Yao Ran commanded, "Let go of me."
Lin Xuan stubbornly held on, his eyes red.
More and more pedestrians stopped to watch, chattering amongst themselves. Some even took out their phones to record videos.
Jiang Nian finally emerged from the crowd. She hurried over, and seeing the man clinging relentlessly, she didn't resort to brute force. With a cold expression, she simply lifted her high-heeled foot and stomped down on his leather shoe with all her might.
A stiletto heel was excruciatingly painful to be stepped on with.
Lin Xuan, consumed by the pain, howled and let go.
The moment Yao Ran saw who had come to her aid, her mind grew even more chaotic.
Lin Xuan staggered a couple of steps. Once he regained his footing, he completely disregarded his image and started cursing at Jiang Nian, "Who the fuck are you? Did I do something to you? You fucking bitch, are you out of your goddamn mind?"
Jiang Nian was about to explode with anger. She raised the bag in her hand and, gritting her teeth, swung it hard at Lin Xuan's head.
The blow left Lin Xuan dizzy. "You... Don't you fucking think I won't hit a woman!"
Yao Ran had never imagined Lin Xuan had a side like this—a petulant face, spewing insulting words, completely devoid of his usual refined demeanor. Mr. Lin must have been exhausted from keeping up the act all this time...
She furiously slapped Lin Xuan across the face, a heavy blow that silenced him. For a rare moment, she shouted in anger, "That's enough!"
Jiang Nian's feelings were a complicated mix. The pointing and gossiping from the crowd grew louder. She glanced at Yao Ran and, without thinking too much, took her hand and led her away.
The raindrops grew denser, dampening the ends of their hair.
Yao Ran watched as Jiang Nian gently held her hand, not saying a word.
Once they were away from the vortex of gossip, their surroundings became quiet. Jiang Nian sensitively let go of Yao Ran's hand, her face still cold. She wanted to say something but, for a moment, didn't know what.
I slept with a married woman, so what does that make me? She clenched her fists, standing stiffly and silently in front of the other woman.
The evening breeze tousled her hair, carrying sticky, damp droplets.
Yao Ran looked at her and spoke first. "I'm sorry about just now."
Jiang Nian had her pride and wouldn't allow herself to appear too pathetic. She raised an eyebrow in a cold smile. "Are you apologizing to me on that man's behalf? There's no need."
Yao Ran fell silent.
Jiang Nian's acting skills weren't quite good enough; the cold smile quickly faded. She glanced at Yao Ran, unable to hide the hurt and confusion in her eyes. There was nothing more to say. She lowered her head and turned to leave.
"Wait," Yao Ran called out to her.
Jiang Nian stopped.
"You've misunderstood. It's not what you think," Yao Ran said seriously. "I'm already divorced. I'm single."
Jiang Nian was speechless.
Yao Ran's voice was weary and light. "I'm not lying to you."
Hearing the earnest explanation, Jiang Nian blurted out in a low voice, "I never disbelieved you." There was no explaining the feeling one person had for another; she just believed that Yao Ran wouldn't lie.
Yao Ran nodded. "Mm."
Her marriage must have been a bad one, right? That was Jiang Nian's first thought. She didn't know the specifics of what had happened, but she could sense that Yao Ran had absolutely no feelings for that man.
And indeed, there were no feelings to speak of.
Yao Ran had never planned to marry Lin Xuan. Their marriage was a typical case of interests over emotions, a fact they were both well aware of.
Their family businesses were already linked, and a marriage between two people of equal social standing was a union of two powers—the icing on the cake. According to everyone around them, they were a match made in heaven, and their families urged them on.
At the time, Lin Xuan had acted like a gentleman, all understanding and considerate. She had explicitly told him that she was averse to physical intimacy and wouldn't be a suitable partner. Lin Xuan had claimed to understand and respect her wishes, saying he wasn't keen on it either, yet he stubbornly pursued her for a long time.
Yao Ran knew very well that she didn't really like Lin Xuan. She just thought he was a decent person, and perhaps she was partly moved by his persistence. Moreover, from a practical standpoint, Lin Xuan was a suitable marriage candidate for her in every aspect.
Then came the engagement and the marriage license. Everything proceeded in an orderly fashion, just as planned.
Yao Ran didn't think much of it. This kind of marriage maximized the benefits for both parties and was common in their circle. Most marriages were like this; there wasn't that much romance or earth-shattering love. Besides, she herself was indifferent to matters of the heart.
Their married life was mundane, much as Yao Ran had imagined. There wasn't much happiness, but not much unhappiness either. Both were busy with their careers, so they rarely saw each other.
They had occasional conflicts. Yao Ran simply couldn't accept physical intimacy. She couldn't explain why; she just felt a deep-seated aversion and resistance to a man's touch.
Gradually, she could see that Lin Xuan did mind, and they couldn't continue like that long-term. So she initiated a conversation about divorce once, but it ended with Lin Xuan's pleas for understanding.
Aside from that issue, their life was harmonious and peaceful, and their careers flourished. And so, a year passed in this placid manner.
Until the variable appeared—
One day, Yao Ran suddenly received an anonymous package. Inside the envelope were several photos depicting Lin Xuan passionately kissing another woman. Only then did she realize that Lin Xuan had been pretending all along—pretending to understand her, pretending to be gentle and caring, pretending not to mind...
When she saw those photos, she flipped through them one by one, her expression blank. She was calm, feeling surprisingly little sadness. But she detested the feeling of being deceived.
It was then that she felt this seemingly perfect and suitable marriage, which didn't feel like a marriage at all, had no reason to continue. She also came to a realization about herself: she wasn't suited for emotional entanglements and was better off living alone.
She showed the photos to Lin Xuan and proposed divorce again. This time, it went smoothly. The entire divorce process was rational; they signed an agreement that satisfied both parties, avoiding any undignified, messy confrontation.
Yao Ran had thought this marriage, which had begun as lightly as a cloud, would end just as breezily. She never expected Lin Xuan to cause a drunken scene today.
A raindrop landed on her cheek, cool and silky.
Having explained what needed to be explained, Yao Ran looked at Jiang Nian, then lowered her eyes and turned to leave.
Jiang Nian remained rooted to the spot, watching her slender back, which appeared lonely and desolate in the misty drizzle. She couldn't help but follow her steps.
Yao Ran sensed it and turned to look back.
"Is there something else?"
Jiang Nian drew closer and couldn't help but ask in a soft voice, "Do you want some company?" She had wanted to say this ever since she saw her smoking alone at the bar.
Yao Ran gazed at her features, which looked even more bewitching and alluring in the night. After a moment of silence, her red lips moved slightly as she replied, "Miss Jiang, I don't do hookups."
Jiang Nian froze.
Yao Ran's eyes flickered as she continued, "That night was an accident. There won't be a next time."
"Did you misunderstand me, too...?"
Yao Ran looked up at her and saw that the person before her looked aggrieved once again.
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