Shrine - Chapter 97

Chapter 97

Ruan Ruan couldn't hold it in anymore. She changed her clothes, ran downstairs, and drove to the film set.

She didn't call her assistant or her driver. With her hair down and without a mask, she drove to the perimeter of the 360 Times of Missing You set and waited. Her license plate wasn't registered, so she couldn't get inside and could only park on the side of the road. She watched the actors coming and going; some were running in historical costumes, holding up their skirts, while others sat on the steps filming a vlog. It was summer again in Shucheng. There would always be someone with a large black umbrella, and there would always be someone delivering dark plum juice, but there would never again be the Shi Ran and the Black Cat Detective under the umbrella from last summer.

Ruan Ruan thought with great calm that no matter what kind of ending she and Shi Ran had, she would never fall in love with anyone else.

It was a powerful intuition, tinged with a sense of destiny, just like how she knew she would never see her mother again back when she was still too young to understand.

There are moments when a person knows that fate has blocked off a certain crossroads in their life, and they can even clearly see that door swing shut.

What Ruan Ruan saw at this very moment was the possibility of falling in love with someone else in her long life.

Shi Ran hadn't given her fireworks over the sea; rather, her love was like the ocean and like fireworks—so brilliant that one couldn't help but look up. But the part underneath, the part hidden in the ocean, was her boundless tenderness.

She had said indifferently, "If you can't do it, then I don't want you either."

She had said teasingly, "I have a love brain."

She had said, half-serious and half-joking, "I've actually done a lot for you."

She had said shrewdly, "I want you to make money for me."

She had said foolishly, "Remember the happy moments for a little longer."

She had said, half in despair and half in hope, "Have you ever truly thought of me as your girlfriend?"

Ruan Ruan deeply regretted not seeing the trajectory of Shi Ran's feelings sooner, but she didn't develop a "how could I possibly be worthy" mindset. Because she trusted Shi Ran so completely. If Shi Ran said it was worth it, then it was worth it. No one could make decisions for Shi Ran, and no one could weigh her own pros and cons better than Shi Ran herself.

Even though Shi Ran was the one giving, and the recipient was herself—a self that Ruan Ruan didn't necessarily value highly—Shi Ran felt it was what she should do.

Therefore, Ruan Ruan believed she could give Shi Ran what she needed more.

If what she had now wasn't enough, then she would strive to do better, to be the best.

For nearly four hours, Ruan Ruan didn't eat or drink, sitting in her car waiting for Shi Ran as if in a trance.

She sent Shi Ran a message that she would see as soon as she wrapped up. At 4:12 PM, Ruan Ruan received a WeChat reply: "1."

A few minutes later, Shi Ran's commercial van drove out and honked lightly. Ruan Ruan started her car and followed, maintaining a distance that was neither too far nor too close. She picked her up from work, accompanied her into the underground garage, and then they got out of their cars at staggered times to go upstairs.

Opening the door, she found Shi Ran waiting for her in the entryway. She still had that inhumanly beautiful hime cut, leaning casually against the wall. She seemed a bit tired; her legs weren't straight but propped slightly away from her body. This slightly shorter-looking Shi Ran seemed genuinely cute, and for the first time, Ruan Ruan felt her heart melt, even though her gaze was still cool.

Ruan Ruan closed the door, pursed her lips, and said softly to Shi Ran, "A hug."

Shi Ran smiled and tilted her head. Ruan Ruan leaned in and hugged her. The embrace was deep and solid. Ruan Ruan listened to Shi Ran's heartbeat and smelled the snowy fragrance from her makeup and styling. She couldn't help but reach out to support the back of Shi Ran's head, then crossed her arms behind her neck, lowered her head, and rested her forehead against Shi Ran's collarbone.

Then, very slightly, she began to cry quietly.

Just like Shi Ran on the trending topics, she blinked and two tears fell. But she wasn't as skilled as Shi Ran; she couldn't stop herself from sniffling, and her chest hitched violently.

She just held Shi Ran and cried silently. Shi Ran's arms remained at her sides; she didn't comfort her. Only after she had finished crying and lifted her head did Shi Ran carefully study her expression and ask softly, "Do you know how I felt watching you cry on the trending topics?"

An Lu had messaged her right after she told Ruan Ruan, so Shi Ran was already prepared for her reaction.

Ruan Ruan looked at her with red eyes, cupped Shi Ran's face, her eyelashes tangled as more tears fell. "One time each. I cried behind your back once, and you cried behind my back once. We're even. No more from now on."

She choked out in a breathy voice, "I promised I wouldn't cry behind your back, so I've been holding it in ever since I found out."

Shi Ran stared at her, her own nose stinging. Holding back tears, she tucked the corner of her mouth into a faint smile. "Should I praise you for admitting your mistake and correcting it?"

Ruan Ruan wrapped her arms around her neck and shook her head seriously. "More than that. I have many other good qualities. Shi Ran, let me tell you about them, and you can listen and see if I'm right."

Shi Ran pressed her lips together and swallowed lightly.

Ruan Ruan tried to steady her breathing. "I'm pretty smart. I can read people, and I'm on the same wavelength as you, so we can understand each other. I'm brave. I knew how to get close to you without making you uncomfortable. I was able to seize every opportunity you gave me right away, which is how I managed to get to your side."

"I'm not selfish with you. I can help you think of good acting methods, I helped you film your audition video for Non-Desire. As long as I can help you, I'm happy. I trust you completely. I trust you without setting up any escape routes for myself. I do whatever you ask me to do. I'd stand in the ice and snow for you, and I'd fly to the ends of the earth with you. Even if you lie to me, like how you hid the fact that you were my boss, I wouldn't blame you."

She spoke through her tears, her words coming out fragmented and broken.

Shi Ran lowered her eyelids, the roots of her lashes growing damp.

"I'm also very good in bed. We always have a great time. My body is the one your body chose."

"These are the things you already know. I want to confirm for you that your judgment wasn't wrong. You gave yourself to someone who is worthy, and that person has many qualities you don't even know about yet."

"She is very grateful to you. She will never betray you. She will always be with you, will love you with everything she has, and she will dote on you."

She saw Shi Ran's tears fall again. Shi Ran quietly lifted her eyelids and looked at her, a tear tracing a path down her face, finally staining the goddess's skin. Shi Ran's tears weren't like tears; they were like sea pearls, polished from dust shed by the body. She caught it at the corner of her mouth, not letting it fall to the ground.

She looked seriously at the Little Bread who was a crying mess, and spoke gently but firmly, "Ruan Ruan."

"Since we confirmed our relationship, the only thing I've exchanged with you are the rights of being a girlfriend. Everything else, everything I've done, was not for the sake of an exchange with you. Because in the process of doing those things, I was already getting what I wanted."

"I've experienced a lot, but I've never experienced a love that is completely without reservation. You give me that impulse. Its rarity in my life makes it precious, you could say. I don't want to fail it, and that's why I do these things. The object of this affection is you, but you shouldn't be the one responsible for any of my decisions."

"Whether it's my career or my relationships, they are all means to satisfy my own emotional value and inner needs. They aren't destinations, just paths. If, at this moment, I believe that a relationship gives me more emotional value, and I can exchange something else for it within an acceptable range, that isn't a loss. It's a gain."

"Can you understand what I mean?" she asked, moistening her lips.

Ruan Ruan nodded.

"Good. So I won't use what I've given to hold you hostage."

"However, I will ask you to give me all of your love," Shi Ran said, blinking through her tears with a small smile. "It doesn't have to take the same form as mine. I want your love."

She emphasized the word "your." Ruan Ruan's nostrils flared as two more streams of tears rolled down her cheeks. She nodded again.

"You just said you would love me very much and dote on me. I heard you."

"Words must be followed by deeds..." Shi Ran paused, raising an eyebrow at Ruan Ruan.

"I'll do what I say."

Ruan Ruan cupped her face and promised softly.

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