BSG - Chapter 4
Chapter 4
"There are still too many straight girls in this world," Tao Fangran lamented.
"Exactly, exactly," Yun Youqing lamented even more.
Tao Fangran asked, "What are you going to do now?"
Sitting in the driver's seat, Yun Youqing sighed. "What else can I do? I can only stop liking her..."
"Poor thing," Tao Fangran expressed her sympathy over the phone. "When my tour is over, I'll come back and keep you company. We'll go eat good stuff then."
"Mm-hmm."
The call ended.
Yun Youqing looked at the phone in her hand and sighed again. So difficult. She'd really thought there was hope for embracing a new flame. Ah, let it go, then. She was best at letting go of straight girls. Hopeless straight girls. But at least they could still be friends. There are plenty of fish in the sea. There would surely be someone better later!
Revitalized, Yun Youqing set her phone aside and drove home. Nothing else to do, go home and paint!
Yun Youqing sat in her studio, brush falling onto the paper, leaving a pale ochre stroke. On the paper was a little corgi. She stopped, leaning back slightly to scrutinize the drawing.
The drawn corgi was sprawled on the ground, tail drooping, ears perked high. Its two short hind legs were stretched back. The entire dog was facing the doorway longingly, as if waiting for someone. Waiting for Shen Wenxin.
Shen Wenxin had said her profile picture was of Xiaoba waiting for her. Once, after playing with her and seeing her leave, Xiaoba had run to the door and pawed at it twice. Unable to open it, the dog had simply lain down obediently to wait for her. This scene had just happened to be captured by Shen Wenxin's stepmother and became her WeChat avatar. And now, it had become a drawing by Yun Youqing.
Yun Youqing: "..." Somehow, I just thought of drawing Xiaoba. And naturally, thought of Shen Wenxin.
Yun Youqing didn't mind. Let her think what she will. It hadn't even been a day since she was rejected; it was normal to not have completely let go yet. Rejected one second, completely letting go without a single stray thought the next? How was that possible? She wasn't some ascetic saint. Not only was she not free from desires, she was especially frank. She picked up her phone, snapped a photo of the drawing, and directly sent it to Shen Wenxin.
[Nice, right! A one-to-one recreation of a puppy butt!]
After a while, Shen Wenxin replied: [You're eying its butt.]
[Yun Youqing]: Yes. Not only am I eyeing its butt, I'm drawing its butt. Next time we meet, I'll bite its butt. A super pervert is what I am!
[Yun Youqing]: 【Evil laughter sticker. jpg】
[Shen Wenxin]: ?
[Yun Youqing]: 【Evil laughter sticker. jpg】
[Shen Wenxin]: Some day soon, come out and meet me.
Yun Youqing stopped her evil laughter. Although she didn't know why, still—[Okay!] She still felt joy and anticipation about meeting Shen Wenxin.
One evening three days later, they went for a walk. It was their first walk together. But what Yun Youqing hadn't expected... was that Shen Wenxin had brought Xiaoba along, too.
Shen Wenxin was holding Xiaoba's leash. Standing on the ground, wearing an adorable red knitted scarf, Xiaoba looked up at Yun Youqing, mouth open, tongue out—utterly innocent and cute.
Yun Youqing didn't stand on ceremony; she immediately started petting the dog. Xiaoba, equally enthusiastic, happily nuzzled against her, making a new friend. Having petted the dog to her heart's content, Yun Youqing stood up.
Then she heard Shen Wenxin say: "Let me see you bite it."
Yun Youqing: "?" She looked up, meeting Shen Wenxin's peach-blossom eyes, brimming with mirth. Shen Wenxin even raised an eyebrow at her. Deliberate. Very naughty.
"I'll bite, then." Yun Youqing crouched back down, cupping the head of the little dog, now familiar with her. Then, she rained a storm of kisses upon its head. Finally, she opened her mouth and gently nibbled its ear.
She raised her head, meeting Shen Wenxin's gaze, raising her own eyebrows smugly.
Shen Wenxin asked, "Was that the butt?"
Yun Youqing: "No." Yun Youqing said shyly, "I'm embarrassed. I'm actually a shy pervert, you see."
Shen Wenxin: "?" Shen Wenxin: "Fine."
Yun Youqing was truly not pretending anymore in front of her now. Before they were open about their orientations, Yun Youqing's speech was never this unrestrained and "perverted." This was the real Yun Youqing.
Yun Youqing gave the little dog's head a couple more strokes before standing up. Meeting Shen Wenxin's eyes, she heard her say, "You're much more relaxed in front of me now."
Yun Youqing admitted it openly. "Yep. Since you won't like me anyway, I might as well be myself."
Shen Wenxin frowned. "If I liked you, you wouldn't be yourself?"
Yun Youqing said, "I would, too. But... I'd pretend a little bit." Because of liking, humans learned to pretend, hoping to present only the best of themselves before the other party. She was the same.
Shen Wenxin's brows relaxed. Turning slightly away, holding Xiaoba, she said, "Still, just be yourself." Yun Youqing merely took this as another rejection. —I don't like you, so just be comfortable being yourself.
Then, she heard Shen Wenxin continue, "Let yourself live more comfortably. Don't force yourself into a mold. The person who likes you will like you no matter what."
Yun Youqing was stunned upon hearing this. She saw Shen Wenxin standing under the warm, orange light, tall and slender. The night breeze ruffled Shen Wenxin's black hair, lightly flipping the corner of her white coat. Those peach-blossom eyes held a shimmer of seriousness and sincerity.
—Thump-thump.
In the wind, Yun Youqing suddenly heard her own heartbeat. That feeling, so hard to control, surged forth in an instant.
So strange. Clearly, Shen Wenxin hadn't said anything special. Clearly, she was just standing there, just telling her to be comfortably herself...
Shen Wenxin saw Yun Youqing suddenly raise both hands to cover her face, immediately puzzled. "What's wrong?"
"It's over..." Yun Youqing's voice came from behind her palms, a little melancholy. "Today, I can't not like you either."
Shen Wenxin: "..."
Then, Yun Youqing abruptly raised her head, filled with righteous indignation. "Forget it! I can't control my heart palpitations, so I'll just keep liking you for now!"
Shen Wenxin: "?" Why does it feel like she's just embracing despair? Shen Wenxin reminded her again, "Liking me won't lead anywhere."
Yun Youqing said very soberly, "I know."
Shen Wenxin was suddenly baffled. "Then you're still persevering?"
Yun Youqing sighed. "I don't want to, either. But this heart-fluttering thing can't be controlled. Just bear with it, please, until I stop liking you. Think of it as... because I'm so pitiful?"
"How are you pitiful?" Shen Wenxin didn't understand. Well-fed, well-off, career successful—how was that pitiful?
Yun Youqing said, "My love life is pitiful."
Shen Wenxin reconsidered. Falling for a straight girl, destined for no reciprocation. That is a bit pitiful. Just as she was about to say something, she heard Yun Youqing say, "Me, I either fall for straight girls, or my relationships just don't go smoothly."
—So she wasn't referring solely to me. Shen Wenxin was curious. "How haven't they gone smoothly?"
On this topic, Yun Youqing opened up immediately. "That damn ex of mine! Dating perfectly happily, then suddenly says she doesn't like me anymore and wants to break up. Isn't that just baffling! And I liked her so much—she was my university white moonlight..." She lowered her eyes, dejection hidden within them.
The fluttering heart had returned to normal, but there was a little ache. Whenever she mentioned that person, there was always a little ache. Her former white moonlight seemed to have transformed into a savage thorn, pierced into her heart.
Yun Youqing's dejected state reflected in Shen Wenxin's eyes. It was the first time since they'd met that Yun Youqing showed such weariness. A cheerful, lively person had instantly wilted, vitality draining away. She seemed truly deeply hurt by that relationship.
Shen Wenxin wanted to say something, but didn't know what. Even her refusal got stuck in her throat. She suddenly wanted to reach out and stroke Yun Youqing's head, to soothe her a little.
But before she could act, Yun Youqing suddenly wailed, "I'm so pitiful!" And in a flash before Shen Wenxin's eyes, Yun Youqing crouched down, cupping Xiaoba's head. "Rua-rua the little dog!" Another storm of frantic rubbing. Pet the dog's head, and all worries are shed!
Shen Wenxin: "?" A soft chuckle escaped her lips. Bemused, yet also giving in. She seems able to self-regulate; she doesn't need others to pity her.
Shen Wenxin also crouched down.
After satisfyingly petting the enthusiastic little dog, Yun Youqing's mood improved considerably. Noticing Shen Wenxin watching her, she also looked up at Shen Wenxin.
Shen Wenxin's lips parted and closed. "Do as you please. You know what you're doing." She could like her. She could use her to distract herself and heal. In any case, she knew she wouldn't reciprocate; this rejection was enough to keep her constantly sober, preventing her from sinking too deep.
"Too kind," Yun Youqing said, hugging Xiaoba, deeply moved. "I like you even more!"
Shen Wenxin couldn't help it. "...Do try to let go sooner rather than later."
Yun Youqing smiled and comforted her in return. "Don't worry, I haven't fallen in deep yet. Right now, I just like you. I don't like you so much that I desperately want to be your girlfriend. Relax, relax. I was just joking with you. I love joking the most; I'm naturally a jokester!"
"Mm, I can tell," Shen Wenxin nodded. "Shy super pervert."
Yun Youqing's hand petting Xiaoba paused for a second, and her smile deepened. "Yep, I'm a super pervert. I even flirt with pretty older sisters!"
The pretty older sister raised an eyebrow lightly.
Yun Youqing also raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a roguish smile. "Girlie, aunty here has a bit of money. How about coming with aunty?"
Shen Wenxin clutched the leash, crossing her arms. Daring to flirt with me—Yun Youqing is the first. She lifted her chin, still playing along. "Well, let aunty pull out the money first and show me."
Yun Youqing really reached into her coat pocket. Fished around twice. Fished out two coins.
Shen Wenxin: "?" Quite unexpected that she actually had two coins in her pocket. Yun Youqing also hadn't expected there were two coins in her coat pocket. This was fate!
Shen Wenxin: "Go on, what does aunty plan to do for me with these two coins?"
Yun Youqing: "Aunty will treat you... to a bus ride?"
Shen Wenxin was instantly amused, unable to hold back her laughter. When she finished laughing, she reached out and stroked Yun Youqing's head. "Alright. Put it on my tab for now."
Yun Youqing was struck by the immobilizing spell again. The little dog in her arms was taken by Shen Wenxin, set down on the ground. In her sight, Shen Wenxin stood up, holding the leash. Xiaoba walked ahead of her, sniffing here and there, very lively.
Yun Youqing snapped out of it, stood up, and followed. Just as Shen Wenxin was walking the dog, Yun Youqing's left arm was suddenly hugged. She turned to look. Yun Youqing was holding her arm with both hands, looking straight ahead.
"I'm happy I met you," Yun Youqing said. "And I'm happy we can be friends."
Shen Wenxin glanced at their tightly clinging arms, calmly withdrew her gaze, and said nothing. Just linking arms. Nothing much.
Yun Youqing set off a small firework in her heart. Wonderful. It seems our relationship has become a little closer!
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