Shrine - Chapter 44
Chapter 44
The living room light was out, but Shi Ran had somehow noticed. Ruan Ruan stretched the corner of her eye with the heel of her palm. "Yeah. I was just on the phone with Wu Mei, and she asked if I had anyone to take care of me."
"And you were moved," Shi Ran said as she walked over and sat on the sofa.
…Well, now that she put it that way, it didn't seem quite so moving anymore.
Ruan Ruan smiled, knelt on the rug, and straightened up, handing her an orange. "I was just about to talk to you about this. I want Mei Mei to be my assistant. Can I just talk to Xin Chen directly?"
She didn't quite understand the proper channels for this and worried it might seem like she was overstepping her bounds.
Shi Ran nodded. An assistant's job was quite personal, so many artists had friends or family members fill the role. Shi Ran was different; she didn't have any particularly close friends before her debut.
Ruan Ruan felt relieved. She watched Shi Ran peel the orange. They were so close that a tiny droplet of juice sprayed out, and she instinctively squinted. She looked like a sleepy little kitten, and Shi Ran couldn't help but glance at her a couple of times, peeling the orange with a bit more force.
Ruan Ruan realized she was being mischievous, so she pulled her neck back to get away. She lay on the sofa in a daze for a moment, then asked Shi Ran, "What are we doing tomorrow? How many days are you staying in Jiangcheng?"
"Tomorrow, Tao Jin said she'd take you to see the theater. I was just chatting with her on WeChat. She said she's not sure if you'll adapt to the theater model, so she wants you to try it out first. If it feels good, then they'll go through Dianxing for the contract."
Ruan Ruan nodded, then looked at Shi Ran with a soft expression. "What about you?"
She looked so incredibly well-behaved. Shi Ran's citrus-scented fingers inadvertently brushed against her cheek. Ruan Ruan felt as if her entire being had been refreshed. She shrugged her shoulders and leaned against her limply.
"Me," Shi Ran had just reviewed her schedule during the meeting, "I'm going back to Shucheng tomorrow afternoon." After that would be a period of closed-set filming until the wrap-up.
Ruan Ruan was disappointed. Though she said nothing, the light in her eyes visibly dimmed.
Shi Ran's nostrils flared slightly. She pursed her lips and ate her orange in silence.
Ruan Ruan looked up at her. Her face was like white porcelain, artistic from any angle, as if she were born to play with light and shadow. She asked, "After you leave, I…"
"You'll still live here. The day after tomorrow, your new manager will have a meeting with you. You can have Wu Mei arrange a time to come over," Shi Ran said.
"Oh."
Ruan Ruan sighed. She was going to be working separately from Shi Ran, and for the first time, the reality of being a Dianxing Entertainment artist truly sank in. She knew why Shi Ran was hesitating. Just like her, she wasn't sure if she should tell the other person her schedule, nor did she know if she should show her reluctance to part.
But for Ruan Ruan, this reluctance was not a good thing right now.
Therefore, in the shadow cast by the floor lamp, she lifted her flawless face, moistened her lips, and said, "Shi Ran, I want to talk to you, about us."
Her voice was very low, but it lacked its usual timidity. It was quite firm, making Shi Ran's heart skip a beat as she looked down at her.
Ruan Ruan offered her face to Shi Ran's gaze, feeling it held by her eyes. Her heart fluttered several times before she mustered the courage to say, "I like you very much. I asked you, and you said you like me too."
Shi Ran's breathing hitched slightly. She watched over her with a cool gaze.
With just one look, Ruan Ruan understood. In fact, she had understood even earlier. When Shi Ran had been jealous of Tao Jin, Ruan Ruan had said, "She has a girlfriend," and Shi Ran hadn't responded. Ruan Ruan had understood then. If she were to trace it back even further, it was that despite their mutual affection for so long, Shi Ran had never proposed anything more. Ruan Ruan should have increasingly understood.
Shi Ran was a person of strong action, not a passive one. From small things like suggesting they try intimate acts or driving back to the valley to pick someone up, to big things like investing in Shrine and buying into the management company. Even her planning of Ruan Ruan's public appearances these past two days had been astonishingly efficient.
Sometimes Ruan Ruan was bewildered, wondering where Shi Ran found the time to do so many things.
And these actions highlighted another truth—if Shi Ran hadn't done something, it meant she didn't want to.
She liked Ruan Ruan, but she didn't want to be in a relationship.
And Ruan Ruan didn't want to either.
After returning from Tao Jin's house, besides reading Dream of the Red Chamber, Ruan Ruan had also searched for Chen Piaopiao while in the bathroom. From memory, she only thought her career had been on a strong upward trajectory before she inexplicably went into semi-retirement. Ruan Ruan looked up her various stardom indexes and discovered that Chen Piaopiao's popularity back then had been even higher than she'd imagined, especially between 2024 and 2025. She had been on the verge of leaping to the A-list.
At the very least, she would have been on par with Zhao Yuqing from the banquet.
Therefore, Chen Piaopiao's departure back then could be considered a brave retreat at the height of her career. To this day, her fans were still checking in, hoping for a new project.
It was only after the meal at Tao Jin's house that Ruan Ruan understood why—it was most likely for Tao Jin. If they remained active in the film and television industry, they wouldn't be able to have high-quality companionship or properly cultivate a relationship. A busy career, the constant separations, and the microscopic scrutiny—all of these were enough to kill a same-sex relationship that was already not quite accepted by the so-called "mainstream."
"We've been together for a while now. I don't know what you're thinking, but from what I know of you, you don't like ambiguity, and neither do I."
Ruan Ruan's slender neck tensed slightly.
Shi Ran watched her seriously, quietly waiting for her to continue.
"So I think it's best to be open and reach a consensus about us."
Ruan Ruan bit the inside of her lip, her gaze gentle as she asked Shi Ran, "I just want to confirm with you, do you want to be in a relationship?"
As she asked, her heart was still pounding. A layer of goosebumps rose on the back of her neck. She drew her arms back, pressing her wrists against her chest to calm her racing heart. She knew it was a normal physiological reaction; after all, this was the first time she had ever loved someone.
Shi Ran's eyelashes crossed. The tip of her tongue pressed lightly against the back of her teeth. She didn't speak.
"I understand," Ruan Ruan said quickly.
The next second, she reverted to her soft tone. "I also think it's not a good time."
Shi Ran looked up at her, slightly surprised.
"These past few days, I've been thinking about what the difference is between how we are now and being in a relationship. After meeting Teacher Tao and her partner, it suddenly occurred to me."
"The way we are is a physical and psychological attraction. But if we were to start a relationship, to completely incorporate the other person into the trajectory of our own life and career, our futures might have to be adjusted and changed because of this relationship. You think so too, don't you?"
Shi Ran tossed the orange peel in her hand into the trash can and nodded.
Ruan Ruan smiled, pursing her lips. "I understand you a little."
Shi Ran wiped her hands with a wet wipe, then took a dry tissue to dab between her fingers. The corners of her mouth twitched, and she smiled too.
"So, I really think it's not a good time." Ruan Ruan tilted her head. "I've only just signed my contract. There are still so many things I want to do."
She left it at that, then looked at the banquet gift box on the coffee table. "These past two days, you've taken me to places I never would have had access to before. I think I have a clearer idea of how to be an artist now."
Every gown adorned their skin, and every piece of jewelry displayed their worth, but it wasn't to make them beautiful—at least, not entirely. They were walking personal brands. Behind them was an entire team's network of connections. They were a single face, a single business card, shared by all the public-facing personnel on their team.
Their so-called good relationships with brands were actually the result of their managers' countless negotiations and endless dinner meetings. Navigating resources in the industry was no different from a cutthroat battle of flashing blades.
Putting it in monetary terms might be more direct. A top-tier artist like Shi Ran generated an income comparable to a publicly listed company. Behind her wasn't just a team, but a complex chain of interests, with contracts valued in the hundreds of millions.
To put it bluntly, if something were to happen to Shi Ran, many, many people would spare no effort to bail her out—not out of affection, but for the money.
Shi Ran's stability was the stability of all these chains of interest. And Ruan Ruan was just starting to climb; she was beginning to carry the weight of hard work and interests on her shoulders too.
She had Shrine.
Ruan Ruan didn't spell it out completely. She knew Shi Ran understood it even better than she did.
"I really like you," Ruan Ruan said, her eyes shimmering with sincerity and gentleness, "but I don't want to affect you, or myself. For both of us to be comfortable, we can have intimacy within a safe range, but we're not suited to establish a relationship."
"I'm saying this for you, because you're the boss, the investor. If you had a relationship with me and then said you didn't want to be together, it would look like you were bullying me."
"Now I'm telling you, I feel the same way. I'm the one proposing this."
Shi Ran had never heard words so weak and yet so resilient. They were like a breeze caressing her face—weightless at first touch, but backed by the full force of the autumn that was already in place. It told you with an incredibly gentle touch that it was time to add a layer of clothing, that the leaves were meant to fall.
Shi Ran let out a soft sigh in her heart and reached out to stroke her face.
She couldn't not like Ruan Ruan, neither emotionally nor rationally.
"If you want to end this kind of arrangement, tell me." That was all she said. Her expression was neutral, but her eyes were like melting snow.
Ruan Ruan nodded. "I won't have this kind of relationship with a second person, either. I can't like two people at the same time."
She wanted to tell Shi Ran that she was safe—the kind of safe where Shi Ran could tell her anything.
Shi Ran drew back her hand and tucked the corner of her mouth into a small smile.
"What about you?" Ruan Ruan craned her neck to ask. Will you only like me?
"I don't know."
"Huh?"
"Haven't tried. Not certain," Shi Ran said frankly.
This… Ruan Ruan blinked, somewhat at a loss.
Shi Ran paused for two seconds, then looked at her. After a moment's thought, she spoke. "You're so smart, you can figure out a way."
"To make me like only you, and always like you."
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