Against the Light - Chapter 45
Chapter 45: It's Not Your Nightmare
Gu Xinran sprinted to the side of the road, found her car, and drove off the moment she got in. Fang Jinghai, who had been chasing right behind her, didn't even have time to get in, watching helplessly as the car sped away.
Her phone rang, and Gu Xinran put it on speaker.
"Jinghai, I have an emergency right now. Don't worry about me, just stick with Sister Qi."
"Oh, then you…"
Before Fang Jinghai could finish, Gu Xinran hung up.
The car entered the highway and flew along. Gu Xinran was so agitated she wished she could sprout wings and fly to Yilan's side that very instant!
How could she have been so stupid? She hadn't realized it at all before. There were so many clues, yet she'd never once considered it!
Gu Xinran slammed her foot on the accelerator. A glance at the speedometer showed she was already hitting two hundred kilometers per hour. She eased her foot up slightly. At a time like this, she had to be safe. She couldn't afford any more mistakes!
Two hours later, the car finally exited the highway and entered Xiyuan City.
Gu Xinran quickly called Yilan, wondering how to begin, but for some reason, Yilan didn't answer.
A sense of panic set in. She called again, but there was still no response!
While waiting at a red light, she quickly found Jin Shuang's number. As she listened to the ringing tone, her heart leaped into her throat.
"Hello, who is this?"
"Sister Shuang! It's me, Gu Xinran!"
"Huh? Xinran, what's up?"
"Is Yilan with you?"
"Sister Lan? She should be on her way to the airport."
Gu Xinran's heart sank. "The airport!?"
"Ah, yeah. Huh? Didn't Sister Lan tell you? She's going to Berlin to study. Her flight is at 9 PM tonight, so she should be on her way to the airport now. I thought you knew."
"Study abroad!? I understand, thank you." Gu Xinran hastily thanked her, hung up, and immediately made a U-turn, all while continuing to dial Yilan's number.
Gu Xinran sped along, but she kept hitting one red light after another. The sky had already turned completely dark, and she was frantic. A look at her phone told her there were still two hours left.
She thought for a moment and called Jin Shuang again to ask for more details. She was told that Yilan had informed the crew three days ago that she was going abroad to study. Anyone who wanted to leave could find their own way, and those who didn't could go help out on Teacher Yu Hua's set. She hadn't specified how long she would be gone. She hadn't come to the set today; Ming Zhen and her sister were taking her to the airport.
Gu Xinran got Ming Zhen's number and dialed it directly.
"Hello? Who is it?"
"It's Gu Xinran, I…"
Before she could continue, a capitalized, bold-faced "GET LOST!" came from the other end.
"…" The call was disconnected again. Gu Xinran stared at her phone, helpless. She thought she had just heard Yilan's voice in the background, asking who it was.
They were still together, which meant Yilan hadn't gone through security yet!
Just then, the light ahead turned green. Gu Xinran immediately stomped on the gas and shot forward.
Half an hour later, Gu Xinran finally arrived at the airport. She found Yilan's flight on the departures screen and immediately rushed toward the security checkpoint, spotting two familiar figures from a distance.
"Hey? What are you doing here?" Ming Zhen heard footsteps, turned her head, and was startled to see Gu Xinran rushing over.
Jiang Boyan, standing beside her, didn't look too pleased to see Gu Xinran either.
"Where's Yilan?" Gu Xinran peered toward the security gate. Had she already gone in?
"Gone," Ming Zhen pouted, crossing her arms and turning her head away, refusing to look at her.
Gu Xinran panicked and dodged around them, charging straight for the security checkpoint!
"Hey, hey, hey, Gu Xinran, this isn't a place for you to cause a scene! Have some decency. Don't you have enough scandals already?" Ming Zhen grabbed her arm.
Gu Xinran's eyes were red with anxiety. She wanted to shout, to call out for Yilan, but when she saw the crowd of onlookers staring at her, she could only suppress the cries rising in her throat. Large tears suddenly fell, hitting the ground and shattering into pieces.
She was both anxious and angry, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the railing.
Ming Zhen and Jiang Boyan exchanged a glance. The sight of her silently sobbing back was somewhat heartbreaking.
Gu Xinran was filled with regret. She hated herself for not figuring it out sooner, for going all the way to Ping County, for not being by Yilan's side!
Sorrow welled up from the bottom of her heart. She slowly sank to the ground, feeling helpless for the first time.
"Uh…" Ming Zhen couldn't bear to watch anymore. She walked over to her. "Hey, there are… so many people watching. Why don't you get up first? Otherwise, you'll be trending on the hot search again tomorrow."
Gu Xinran didn't respond, still sobbing.
"Oh, alright. Yilan, she…"
Ming Zhen stopped mid-sentence and shut her mouth.
As Gu Xinran was lost in her grief, she felt a warm hand gently stroking her back. She froze, gradually coming back to her senses, and slowly turned her head.
Yilan was looking at her with a hint of worry.
"Yi… Yilan?" Gu Xinran called her name, her voice trembling.
"Yes, it's me. What's wrong? Why are you crying like this?" Bai Yilan raised a hand to wipe away her tears, but they just kept falling.
Gu Xinran stared at the left hand wiping her tears, then suddenly reached out and gripped her wrist tightly with both hands.
"Xinran?" Bai Yilan was a little surprised.
"Hey, let's go to the lounge first. Don't stay here, there are too many people around," Ming Zhen said, helping to pull Gu Xinran to her feet.
In the lounge, Ming Zhen and Jiang Boyan were sent out, leaving only Yilan and Xinran in the room.
"What on earth happened? Why are you still crying?" Yilan held a tissue and carefully wiped away her tears.
Gu Xinran sniffled, staring intently at Yilan.
This was her wife, her wife!
"Xinran?"
Gu Xinran took a few deep breaths to compose herself. "You… you're leaving?"
Bai Yilan smiled. "Yes, I'm going to Berlin to study. I've wanted to go for a long time, but I never had the time. After getting married, I put the idea aside completely."
"After coming back from our vacation, I thought a lot. You were right. The world is so big, and there are so many meaningful things to do. There are still so many experiences I haven't had. I shouldn't be so down, and I definitely shouldn't give up on myself."
"Berlin was once my dream. I want to go there for a while."
Gu Xinran listened quietly. When Yilan spoke of going to Berlin, her expression was exceptionally serene. Her bright eyes shimmered with a light of longing and anticipation. It was clear she truly loved that place.
"You were in such a hurry to find me. Is something wrong?"
Gu Xinran pressed her lips together, unconsciously clenching her fists. After a long moment, she managed a strained smile.
"Why didn't you tell me? Do you really want us to become complete strangers?"
"You've been so busy these past few days. I didn't want to distract you."
"You were afraid I'd stop you, that I wouldn't let you go, right?" Gu Xinran sniffled.
Bai Yilan just smiled.
"I won't stop you."
"I support your choice."
"No matter what you want to do, I'll support you." As Gu Xinran finished speaking, tears instantly welled up in her eyes. "Seeing you move on makes me really happy."
Bai Yilan didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Then stop crying. Let me leave with peace of mind."
Gu Xinran sobbed for a while longer.
"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" Bai Yilan asked curiously, noticing her constant hesitation.
Gu Xinran fell silent. To her, this was the best news in the world, but what would it mean to Yilan?
She loved the Gu Xinran of this life. Would she accept that she was also her lover from a past life?
The memories of their past life were precious and beautiful to her, but what about to Yilan?
Those memories appeared in her mind as dreams and fragments. Was it like her own experience with the memories of this life—was she rejecting them, resisting them, unwilling to remember that world?
These thoughts threw Gu Xinran's mind into turmoil. The excitement in her heart suddenly dissipated, replaced by conflict and unease.
Gu Xinran's fingers brushed against the paper inside her clothes. She looked at Yilan. "Wait for me a moment." With that, she ran out.
She went to a nearby gift shop and bought an exquisitely packaged sachet. She threw out its contents, keeping the bag, and placed the scanned copy of the original host's photo inside. After tying it carefully, she hurried back.
She held the sachet in both hands, looking at Yilan with a very solemn and serious expression.
"Yilan, this is for you. Open it only when you feel most lost and helpless."
"A… a sachet?"
"Mhm! Maybe one day, you'll need it. When that time comes, it will answer all your questions," Gu Xinran said with a smile.
"Alright, I'll take it." Bai Yilan accepted it and sniffed it, catching a faint, lingering fragrance.
The two shared a smile.
"Also." Gu Xinran looked at her left wrist, took hold of it, and lifted it up.
"This." She looked at the ribbon, her fingertip gently tracing it from left to right. She looked at Yilan, then slowly leaned down and kissed the ribbon.
When Bai Yilan saw the character for 'one' that she traced on her wrist, her expression changed slightly, her face filled with astonishment.
"From now on, it will no longer be your nightmare."
A knock came from the door.
"Yilan, it's about time. You should go through security."
They looked at each other.
Gu Xinran hid the deep reluctance in her eyes, turned, and helped her with her suitcase.
When Ming Zhen saw her come out, she glanced between her and Yilan.
"You shouldn't go any further. You're a hot-search magnet; you could trend just for sneezing. Yilan wants to find a quiet place to hide away, so don't you…"
"It's fine." Bai Yilan walked to her side and nodded at her, and the two of them walked out together.
When they reached the security checkpoint, despite Gu Xinran's immense reluctance, the moment of parting had arrived.
At a time like this, the only thing to do was act nonchalant, to let Yilan leave without any worries so she could focus on her studies.
She handed the suitcase to Yilan. "Go on. Take good care of yourself."
"You too."
Bai Yilan gave her a deep look, then hugged her other two friends goodbye.
The group watched her pass through security, waving as they saw her turn and walk away.
"I'll wait for you to come back," Gu Xinran said softly.
Ming Zhen heard her and exchanged a look with Jiang Boyan. "That's enough from you. You didn't cherish her when she was here, and now that she's gone, you're all worked up. What were you doing before? It makes me mad just thinking about it!"
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