Shrine - Chapter 35
Chapter 35
Shi Ran could feel Ruan Ruan staring at her, unblinking.
Her arm felt a little itchy. Shi Ran started to reach up to scratch it, then pulled her hand back, habitually rubbing her wrist instead. In truth, she was a straightforward and simple person. From her invitation to start an intimate relationship, to admitting she was a little happy, to every time she had asked Ruan Ruan to stay, she had never hidden anything.
It was just that no one had ever asked her certain things, and no one had ever wanted to hear them.
It wasn't that Shi Ran disliked confiding in people, but she truly hated the moment after she finished, waiting for the other person's reaction. Words held in the heart had a weight of their own; if someone took them too lightly, or too seriously, the scales of emotion would be thrown off balance.
So she neither wanted Ruan Ruan to say "Oh" nonchalantly, nor did she want Ruan Ruan to step forward and gently hug her.
The living room was quiet, almost awkwardly so.
Shi Ran was about to reach for her phone when she was suddenly struck by a warm, fresh fragrance. Ruan Ruan leaned over and quickly kissed the corner of her mouth.
Shi Ran froze, blinked, and turned her head slightly to the side, her gaze landing on the armrest of the sofa.
An unexpected response.
Shi Ran's gaze returned to Ruan Ruan, her expression cool. Ruan Ruan moved closer and kissed her again.
Her lips parted slightly as she drew in a shallow breath. Shi Ran moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, not knowing what to say.
Ruan Ruan leaned in, tilting her head to meet Shi Ran's indifferent eyes from below. Her peach-like cheeks were faintly red. "I'm sorry, but... is this okay?"
Asking if it was okay only after two kisses. Ridiculous.
Shi Ran tilted her head, tucked her hair behind her ear, and picked up her phone to reply to a message. She felt a little regret, and a little happiness.
Ruan Ruan was incredibly perceptive and quickly guessed why Shi Ran had invited her to live together. Their physical and physiological attraction was already sufficient, but they hadn't become truly intimate people. The relationship needed time and space for them to understand each other, but Shi Ran was busy. She didn't have the energy to wait for unscheduled meetings, nor could she be bothered to find excuses for dates every time.
She wanted to bring the kitten home, to get to know each other by being together day and night. Shi Ran was always a woman of action, putting her ideas into motion the moment they formed.
And Ruan Ruan's astuteness proved that Shi Ran had found the right person. She sat beside Shi Ran and said softly, "Since we're going to live together, we might chat a lot. If I'm ever bothering you, just tell me."
"Okay," Shi Ran replied without looking up.
Ruan Ruan treated the earlier candid conversation as part of a normal chat and seemed to expect more, which made Shi Ran feel very comfortable.
"So... now that I've moved in, I wanted to ask, in our time together so far, have I done anything you don't like? You can tell me, and I'll be more mindful."
Shi Ran placed her phone down by her leg, looked at Ruan Ruan, and thought for three seconds. "No."
Ruan Ruan smiled with delight.
Resting her right elbow on her thigh and cupping her chin in her palm, she asked again, "Is there anything you particularly like?"
This time, Shi Ran didn't need to think. She stared at Ruan Ruan with those eyes so treasured by the camera and said, "The first night, when you put the finger cots on for me."
"When you crawled across the bed in your pajamas."
"The next day, when you were biting your clothes."
"And, when you were sitting on the floor, looking up at me."
...
Ruan Ruan blinked blankly, the rims of her ears instantly turning red. She took a shallow breath, her chest puffing up slightly, and called out in a small voice, "Shi Ran."
"Yes?"
"I wasn't talking about in bed."
"But my understanding of you," Shi Ran looked at her directly, "is limited to that."
Ruan Ruan was speechless. She suppressed the fluttering in her heart, looked up at Shi Ran, and said earnestly, "I'll let you get to know me." Not just those things.
There was a playful lilt at the end of her words, and she smiled, pressing her lips together after she finished speaking.
Shi Ran's lips twitched into a smile as well, a deep amusement in her eyes, but after a moment, her expression vanished, as if she didn't much care.
Ruan Ruan found it adorable. She no longer felt nervous because of Shi Ran's expressionless face. She reached out her index finger and pushed up the corner of Shi Ran's mouth, just like how Shi Ran had once pushed up the hem of her pajamas.
Shi Ran let her do it, merely looking down at her. Ruan Ruan's finger slid from the corner of her mouth to the tip of her nose, tapped it lightly, and pulled back, as if giving her nose a tiny scrape.
"If you're happy, you don't have to smile. I can tell," she said slowly. "Xiao Lin can tell, too. The people who care about you don't need you to put on an expression."
"But, I think you look quite beautiful when you smile, too."
She lowered her head, murmuring to herself.
After a moment of silence, Shi Ran asked in return, "What about you?"
"Me?"
Ruan Ruan didn't need Shi Ran to elaborate; she understood the implication. Did she herself smile because she was happy? Were her expressions a true embodiment of her emotions, or were they for show, out of necessity?
A sudden sense of loss washed over her. She buried her face and looked at her own arm, where a healed scratch from a naughty kitten was visible.
"You just asked me if there was anything I didn't like about our interactions," Shi Ran brought up the previous topic again.
"Yes."
"I've thought of something now."
"What is it?"
"You don't treat others much differently than you treat me." You're nice to everyone.
Ruan Ruan's heart skipped a beat. What was she supposed to do about that?
Shi Ran leaned back languidly against the sofa, her shoulders relaxing. "Be yourself. Show me."
The last rays of the setting sun filtered through the expensive glass window, landing unevenly in her hair and making her look like an enchanting goddess. But the tone and nature of her request were so rare, sounding even more intimate than words spoken in bed, that Ruan Ruan felt as if she were being stripped bare.
Be herself? Different from how she was on set, different from what everyone else saw.
A self that wasn't trying to please, that didn't always put others' feelings first, that didn't constantly read the room, that didn't hide her own desires.
Ruan Ruan felt like there was a little person on crutches inside her heart. It was a habit she'd had for so long that it would take difficult rehabilitation to find the feeling of walking upright again.
She thought for a moment and said, "In that case, I might talk a lot."
"Okay."
"My demands will increase, too." The small mole under Ruan Ruan's eye twitched slightly, a hint of excitement in her expression.
"Okay."
"I'll still be good to you, but it won't be to please you." Different from how she pandered to others.
"Then what is it?"
"Liking you," Ruan Ruan leaned forward, the space behind her ears growing hot, "the same way you like me."
Shi Ran looked at her, smiled, and nodded. "Okay."
The sunset crept onto Ruan Ruan's face. She couldn't help but confirm it one more time. "You like me?"
"Yes," Shi Ran said.
Guessing it was one thing, but hearing her admit it was another entirely. Ruan Ruan's heart swelled uncomfortably, as if it had been kicked a few times by a horse's hoof. She had to instinctively let out a long, slow breath just to be able to take in that simple "Yes."
It was as if they had returned to the day of their first real conversation. Neither of them had been drinking, but the entire room was drunk.
This time, they hadn't even opened a bottle of wine, yet Ruan Ruan was already heady from it.
Things between her and Shi Ran never followed a conventional script. On a night when they barely knew each other, they had completed a clandestine deal, and now, on an afternoon devoid of any ceremony, they had exchanged their solemn feelings.
The kitten, Xiao Hei, leaped up, stood on Ruan Ruan's knees, and let out a little "ah" with its tiny fangs bared.
Ruan Ruan's heart melted. She cupped its face in her hands and asked in an incredibly gentle voice, "What are you saying? Are you happy?"
Xiao Hei meowed again.
"You're that happy, huh?" Ruan Ruan's eyes curved as she hugged the kitten, nuzzling it with her forehead.
Shi Ran watched them interact from the side. For some strange reason, she also wished a kitten would run onto her lap so she could ask it if it was happy.
"Oh, right," Ruan Ruan said, putting Xiao Hei down. "I brought the contract with Xin Chen's agency. When you have a moment later, could you help me look it over? My previous agency contract didn't have this many clauses."
"Alright," Shi Ran nodded.
"Thank you." Ruan Ruan picked up Xiao Hei and waved its paw in thanks.
Shi Ran reached out and gently scratched Xiao Hei's chin. "You're welcome."
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