Shrine - Chapter 33
Chapter 33
Ruan Ruan had a dream.
She and Shi Ran were standing in a pitch-black corridor, having just finished a light, lingering kiss. Shi Ran asked her, "Why don't you want to say it?"
She turned her face to look at the crack under the door. She didn't know. She just didn't want to say it.
In the dream, Shi Ran's tone and gaze felt more real than in reality, a faint, almost imperceptible expectation hidden within her coolness.
In truth, they both understood. Ruan Ruan's restrained breathing, the prominent muscle in her neck, and her evasive eyes all made it clear. Shi Ran's uncharacteristic questioning also made it clear.
Because Ruan Ruan liked Shi Ran. She had fallen for her hastily and sincerely, in a way that even she hadn't anticipated.
Ruan Ruan was a person accustomed to making overtures, always treating others with kindness. But only she knew that, most of the time, she acted friendly and warm in order to get something in return. When she was little, she wanted her parents' attention, so she obediently cooked, minded the stall, and took care of her younger brother. When she grew up, she wanted opportunities for work and study, so she remembered the birthday of every teacher she met. But what she received in return were always tiny rewards—scattered, fragmented, like loose change.
It was as if others spent hundred-yuan bills and then casually tossed her a coin or two from their pockets.
So, she had naturally assumed that piggybacking on Shi Ran for some screen time and gaining a bit of scattered attention was in line with the survival rules she had lived by for over twenty years.
But then, Shi Ran had come to get her, appearing incongruously in the middle of nowhere. Ruan Ruan didn't dare ask how she had found out she was missing. Had she overheard someone mention it, or… had she been thinking of her? It was most likely the latter, and Ruan Ruan didn't quite know what to do.
She had never received such complete, healthy affection before—not of any kind.
She only knew that she couldn't speak of it, couldn't use it to trade for anything else. This was the best thing she had ever received—so immense and gentle. It had to be hidden away in her heart.
Ruan Ruan opened her eyes. She was facing away from Shi Ran. She didn't move, using the air against her back to feel Shi Ran's presence.
She must still be sound asleep; a faint circle of warmth nestled against Ruan Ruan's skin.
Shi Ran must have been exhausted yesterday. At the thought, a subtle swelling filled her chest, and her heartbeat sped up erratically. Ruan Ruan subtly hunched her shoulders and brought her right hand up to her face.
She sniffed it lightly, her eyelashes trembling. She had washed her hands long ago; there was nothing but the scent of chemicals. She shifted a few centimeters and rested her soft cheek on the back of her hand.
It was the first time she understood what it felt like to be the one initiating. It was like holding a wet, throbbing heart in her hands.
She could feel its every beat with startling clarity—the contracting and relaxing. She unconsciously responded to Shi Ran with her own rhythm. When Shi Ran enveloped her, she held on to Shi Ran. When Shi Ran let go, she relaxed as well.
In the end, they concluded this exploration in the rainy season together, their hearts kissing their fingertips.
In that moment, they were the two people in the world whose feelings were most perfectly attuned, transcending blood ties and surpassing all other forms of connection.
Ruan Ruan's gaze dimmed slightly. She picked up her phone from the nightstand, checked her messages, and quietly replied to a few. Then, she stroked the screen twice with her thumb and opened her browser.
Search: Cranial orgasm.
She was curious.
Shi Ran had said she felt it, felt it strongly—that even without being touched, she could have an intense physical reaction. Ruan Ruan had never experienced that. What was it like?
She read through the results one by one, her face flushing and her heart pounding as if she were a thief.
Smack. She frantically flipped her phone face down on the bed. Shi Ran was awake and had touched the small of her back with the back of her hand.
A chaotic tide of emotion surged through her, taking three or four seconds to recede.
"What time is it?" Shi Ran's husky voice came from behind her.
"I don't know."
"Weren't you just looking at your phone?"
"Ah, oh…" Ruan Ruan picked it up again and glanced at it. "Seven-seventeen."
"So early," Shi Ran sighed languidly.
Ruan Ruan placed the phone back on the nightstand, thought for a moment, then turned over and snuggled into Shi Ran's arms, resting her forehead against her shoulder with a gentle nudge.
They were rarely this intimate after being together. Shi Ran was clearly a little unused to it. It took her two seconds to ask, "What's wrong?"
"I'm going to sleep a little longer," Ruan Ruan mumbled into her shoulder.
She didn't know how to face Shi Ran. She didn't even want to look at her.
She could clearly feel her heart flooding with blood, completely different from all the times before. Before she'd fallen for Shi Ran, Ruan Ruan could brazenly show her body, asking if she wanted to look. But after last night, she wanted to hide even her face, even her hair.
It was so sad. This unfamiliar emotion made her suddenly miserable.
A little kitten was draped over Shi Ran's shoulder, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, so still and breathless it seemed dead.
She moved her neck and looked down, curious.
Ruan Ruan reached out and hugged her waist.
Shi Ran understood. She pressed her lips together and pulled Ruan Ruan into her embrace.
Because she also didn't know how to handle the current situation. She had never imagined a moment where she would take someone's hand and guide it inside her own body.
Then let's just sleep a little longer. Resting against Ruan Ruan's head, she would sleep until the sun was high in the sky, letting it air out the awkwardness.
When they woke again, it was nearly noon. Shi Ran's arm was numb, and Ruan Ruan's neck was stiff. As they sat up, both unconsciously let out a half-breath and reached for their phones.
This time, the atmosphere was much more relaxed, as if they had returned to how it was the previous times they'd been together. Ruan Ruan put on her slippers and asked Shi Ran, "Don't you have any work today?"
"No." They had rushed filming yesterday, and the crew didn't know how late it would go, so they hadn't scheduled the main actors for today. They were probably going out to shoot establishing shots.
"Then I'll…"
"Cook for me?" Shi Ran, sitting on the edge of the bed, finished her sentence in a placid tone.
Ruan Ruan couldn't help but smile, her eyes bright. Right, she only had these few tricks up her sleeve. Every time Shi Ran helped her, she had no other way to express her gratitude, because she had nothing of value to offer.
The two of them had a tacit understanding not to mention what happened in bed last night, because neither was prepared to face this turn of events.
During their meal, Ruan Ruan received a message from the production coordinator, saying the car had been towed back and asking how she was, if she had rested well.
Ruan Ruan replied: "I'm fine, Teacher Cheng. Thank you for asking."
But she put down her phone listlessly, lacking her usual sweet demeanor.
Shi Ran glanced at her. After mulling it over, Ruan Ruan finally asked, "When you came to pick me up yesterday, was what Xiao Lin said true? Were you really just lucky that no one stopped you, or… did you get someone to give you special permission to enter the mountain?"
Shi Ran paused. "Neither."
"Huh?" Ruan Ruan looked up.
"There was someone on duty at the toll booth. We drove up, and she asked what was going on. Xiao Lin said we were here filming during the day and a colleague's car had broken down, so they couldn't get out. We needed to go back to pick them up. The staff member checked the license plate numbers registered for entry that day, had Xiao Lin sign a form, and then let us in."
So it was that simple. The crew really hadn't even bothered to go back to the toll booth to ask. They had just told them the staff had already gone home.
Shi Ran watched her quietly. Ruan Ruan knew she wanted to ask what she was thinking.
So she said very frankly, "I really want to become famous."
"It's not that I want to be above others. I just want to be the kind of person others think is worth turning back for. Or rather, to be the person who has the power to turn back for someone else."
"And… I don't want to be so nice to everyone anymore."
She had helped the logistics team hand out boxed lunches, helped the camera crew move apple boxes, and bought fruit for the props team. Her power bank was still with Xiao K.
And yet, holding her power bank didn't mean they would notice she was gone. Running around helping everyone didn't earn her any heartfelt concern.
Her answer was slightly unexpected to Shi Ran, who had thought that after such a heart-wrenching experience yesterday, she wouldn't be thinking about her career right away.
Ruan Ruan let out a soft breath and stood up. "I'll go wash the dishes, and then I'll head back."
"Do you have something to do back at your place?"
"I have to sign the contract Xin Chen gave me today and deliver it to her," she said while clearing the dishes, though she felt an inexplicable reluctance to leave Shi Ran, her movements slow and dragging.
"Xin Chen lives here too," Shi Ran said suddenly.
Huh? What does she mean?
"I can have her assistant print a new copy of the contract and bring it up."
Ruan Ruan's movements paused. She looked at Shi Ran with a soft gaze. She understood. Shi Ran didn't want her to leave.
"However," Shi Ran reached out, straightened the chopsticks, and placed them next to the plate, "you could also make a trip back."
Ruan Ruan blinked, not understanding.
"Go back and get a change of clothes. Stay here for a few days," Shi Ran said, her tone even.
"I…" Ruan Ruan's breath hitched. "Stay here?"
Shi Ran tilted her head slightly to look at her. "Don't you want to?"
Ruan Ruan's heart skipped a beat. The corners of her mouth tucked in unconsciously. "I do."
"Are you smiling?" Shi Ran blinked slowly.
"No," Ruan Ruan lowered her gaze to the table, gently biting the inside of her cheek.
After five or six seconds of silence, Shi Ran spoke again. "Do you want me to take you?"
"It's not convenient for you," Ruan Ruan shook her head. "I'll take a taxi."
"Alright."
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