Shrine - Chapter 14
Chapter 14
Neon lights flickered outside the glass window. Sitting in the taxi, Ruan Ruan felt like she was in a dazzling, colorful fish tank. The oxygen felt both scarce and abundant—scarce at her dizzying temples, abundant in her eagerly stirring heart.
She was a priceless fish.
And Shi Ran had bought her, for a sky-high price.
It was only three or four blocks from Jingyue International to her rented apartment complex, not nearly enough time for the stark contrast between heaven and earth to set in before the little fish swam back to her familiar pond.
She saw herself in the reflections on billboards and elevator doors, and no matter how she looked, she seemed like a stranger.
It was a face so clean that even a small mole stood out distinctly. Though her eyes were considered large, her features gave off a thin, slender impression, exuding a fragile life force. If she had to use one word to describe her own aura, Ruan Ruan would choose "irrelevant"—irrelevant to cuteness, and irrelevant to seductiveness.
Yet this was the face that had become an object of Shi Ran's observation. She wanted to have a relationship with her. She might kiss her, touch her, she might…
The elevator chimed with a "ding" as the doors opened, and the voice-activated lights in the hallway flickered on.
Ruan Ruan turned right as usual, opened her door, gave it a light nudge with her knee, and then closed it. The room was as black as if it had been soaked in ink. Ruan Ruan leaned against the door, standing in the darkness, her heart thumping—thump, thump, thump.
It began to pound with a delayed reaction, her breathing growing ragged. She felt a faint soreness in her eyes as inexplicable tears welled up, pooling at the brims.
"Mei Mei," she called out softly, her voice trembling.
No one answered her. There was only the moonlight, which barely illuminated the floor.
"Mei Mei," she said again, her voice a few inches louder.
She knew from the moment she walked in that Wu Mei wasn't home, but she still called out twice. Then, she moistened her dry lips, changed her shoes, and said as she walked, "Mei Mei, I think… I might be getting a lead role soon."
She didn't dare turn on the lights, afraid of the bright light of day.
Feeling her way through the darkness, she sat on the sofa in the same posture she'd held in Shi Ran's room. Ruan Ruan was actually trembling a little. A few minutes later, she lay on her side, unlocked her phone, and searched for Shrine.
On this dreamlike night, Ruan Ruan read Shrine, while in the dining area, an unlit shrine read her, curled up on the sofa.
After reading for a while, she placed her phone face down over her heart. The cheap, synthetic scent of hairspray still clung to her. She rubbed her smooth right leg with her ankle. The faint red mark on her knee from pushing the door shut was barely visible, as if tempting the moonlight.
She began to think about Shi Ran.
Two years ago, they didn't even have the chance to eat at the same table. After Shi Ran reappeared, Ruan Ruan had deliberately schemed to get close to her. Perhaps it was because of something Wu Mei had said one night that had taken root in her heart.
"Let me tell you, that supporting actress who was in a CP with Shi Ran used to live downstairs from me. We even shared a jianbing when we were both working as extras, though we weren't close."
"Her acting isn't even as good as mine, but she got famous in an instant by latching onto Shi Ran."
"I used to be able to see her Moments. It was all this director and that director. After she got a team, it was all professionally edited photos. The gowns were drop-dead gorgeous."
Ruan Ruan had smiled. "And then?"
"And then, she deleted me." Wu Mei's face mask cracked as she laughed.
So, Wu Mei wanted to help Ruan Ruan "climb the ladder," then, like a nanny, take her by the hand and parade her in front of that person. Why not Wu Mei herself? She couldn't do it. She was intimidated by Shi Ran.
Jokes were jokes, and Wu Mei hadn't taken it to heart. But for Ruan Ruan, who had listened intently, it was different.
If someone could be granted a bit of starlight by being next to the moon, could that person not be her? She rarely had occasions to wear gowns, and the ones she could borrow were always from past seasons. Once, for an event, the company's styling team managed to borrow a piece from the current spring/summer runway for her. After putting it on, she felt like a mermaid who had just gotten her legs, walking with cautious, swaying grace.
She saved the professionally shot photos to her phone, choosing one as her screen protector. Only later did she find out that the dress had been loaned to a half-dozen starlets from beyond the 18th tier, every one of whom looked radiant in it. Marketing accounts compared their photos, and Ruan Ruan wasn't the best-looking one, but she was the last to wear it. Someone in the comments section had asked, A dress gets loaned out this many times? I wonder, do they wash it?
Ruan Ruan stared at the photo on her phone, and it was as if she could smell the faint scent of old foundation.
The entertainment industry was like that. To climb up was to climb towards being "one of a kind." Those at the top could have their own private dressing rooms, their own makeup and styling teams, and one-of-a-kind haute couture pieces that they didn't have to share with anyone.
Ruan Ruan picked up her phone, opened Weibo, and searched for "Shi Ran."
She didn't have time to see anything else, because an eye-catching ad popped up immediately. As the brand ambassador for the luxury brand D, Shi Ran sported a chic, semi-wet hairstyle, turning her head to gaze coolly at the person outside the frame. Compared to the top supermodels from D's fashion week runway show, her aura was in no way inferior.
Ruan Ruan typed the name in again and watched the brilliant ad once more—a desert-gray color palette, a gilded mirage, aloof and captivating.
There was no need to ask. This was the face that would be the one to debut a haute couture piece.
Suddenly, Ruan Ruan felt a sense of unreality, suspecting that their conversation from earlier in the night had been a figment of her imagination.
She exited Weibo, pursed her lips, and sent Shi Ran a message on WeChat: "I'm home."
Shi Ran replied: "Good night."
Her heart sank to the bottom of the sea, settling. It was real. Then it was churned up again in an instant, unsettled. It was actually real.
A desire like a sunken ship was salvaged, now floating precariously on the water's surface. Ruan Ruan actually had a physical reaction. She stared at the three words, "I'm home," and, blushing, buried her head in the crook of her arm.
Shi Ran would be very gentle with her, right?
Would she?
So… she had already made up her mind long ago.
The next day, Ruan Ruan had no shoots scheduled. It was exactly ten o'clock when she arrived on set. She was chatting with the crew member in charge of catering under a sun umbrella when Shi Ran stepped out of her RV. Ducking slightly under a black umbrella, Shi Ran passed by Ruan Ruan and glanced at her.
It was a rather cold look, like looking at a small flower, a blade of grass.
Ruan Ruan's heart thumped anxiously a couple of times. She propped her fingers on the edge of the table and lowered her head to continue talking to the crew member.
At eleven, Ruan Ruan, holding a plum juice, slowly made her way onto the set. The crew was taking a break while changing scenes. Two supporting actresses were scrolling through Weibo nearby. Shi Ran sat on the other side, flipping through her script.
Ruan Ruan walked over and handed the plum juice to Xiao Lin. Shi Ran looked up at her, and she looked down at Shi Ran.
Then Shi Ran tilted her head slightly and pursed her lips.
It was clear Shi Ran didn't want to be the first to say hello. Ruan Ruan's heart beat erratically. She lightly bumped her knee against the armrest of the sofa. "Shi Ran."
"Hm."
Her breath caught for a beat.
"What is it?" Shi Ran asked, her legs crossed.
"Xiao Ju's babies have grown a bit. Do you have time to see them?" Ruan Ruan's knee brushed against the texture of the cotton sofa.
She hadn't expected to ask this on the noisy set, with two colleagues from the crew right there.
But she also wanted to observe Shi Ran's reaction.
"Not tonight," Shi Ran said. "Tomorrow, maybe."
"I have a night shoot tomorrow," Ruan Ruan said softly.
Shi Ran blinked languidly. "I'll ask and see if it's possible to move you to the daytime."
Ruan Ruan felt a squeeze on the tip of her heart, which began to throb wildly. No one else knew the hidden meaning of their conversation; only Ruan Ruan understood.
Shi Ran wanted to do it tomorrow.
And the exchange of benefits between them had already begun. As long as Ruan Ruan agreed to tomorrow, her schedule could be arranged for a much better time. She wouldn't have to wake up early for makeup and then wait around until evening like before.
"Okay," Ruan Ruan pursed her lips. "I won't disturb you then."
"See you tomorrow." Shi Ran lowered her head and went back to her script.
"See you tomorrow."
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