PSW - Chapter 50
Chapter 50
Zheng Yi and Yu Yinan continued deeper into the dense forest. But now, not a single mutated plant appeared before them, nor did a single vine stir.
This living, silent forest seemed to die in an instant, only to be resurrected after Zheng Yi had left.
As they walked, Zheng Yi could even hear the sound of large trees moving and the friction of vines rapidly retreating.
It was as if, in that one moment, every mutated plant in the entire forest had learned the term "natural enemy" and understood the meaning of "seeking advantage and avoiding harm."
"If you want… I can use my full power. The flames will force them out." Yu Yinan looked at Zheng Yi. With the level of control Zheng Yi had just demonstrated by condensing water into rain, combined with her own mastery of fire, they could contain the blaze and avoid any unforeseen consequences. "You could transplant them back and tame them slowly." Although Yu Yinan had never trained a plant before, she was willing to try for Zheng Yi.
"No need for all that trouble." Zheng Yi smiled at Yu Yinan. "Once I take over Humanity's Light Shelter, everyone, whether they're ordinary people or ability users, will worship me with devotion."
"And as for those who don't believe… they will eventually face divine punishment~"
"…" Yu Yinan closed her mouth, feeling wronged. "I wasn't joking," she mumbled.
"Neither was I~" Zheng Yi said with a smile. "Everyone in that camp died at my hands. Jiejie, guess how many people I killed?"
Yu Yinan looked at her, as if trying to determine if she was joking. Finally, she lowered her gaze, her voice stubborn. "I don't believe you would do that."
"Ah~ In that case, when I get back, should I start by delivering the ordinary people? This apocalypse is so miserable, it's better to find release sooner." Zheng Yi's smile grew brighter, her tone gentler. By the time she finished her last word, Yu Yinan had taken two steps forward and grabbed her wrist.
"Zheng Yi, did I make you angry?"
"Not at all. I'm very touched that Jiejie is so considerate of me." Zheng Yi smiled and squeezed Yu Yinan's hand in return. "How could I be angry with you?"
[She just wanted to help you,] Zero One couldn't help but explain on Yu Yinan's behalf.
Yu Yinan looked at Zheng Yi's smile, a little lost. She explained, her face slightly pale, "I didn't… mean to sacrifice anything on purpose."
"Jiejie, you're an adult now. Be a little more independent." Zheng Yi let go of Yu Yinan's hand and reached up to straighten her collar, her tone still gentle. "Don't look for your reason to live in me."
"A plant is a plant, no matter where it clings. A dog is a dog, no matter how much value it contributes or how much it helps humans, it's still just a dog."
"My dear Jiejie, you must understand…" Zheng Yi suddenly yanked her by the collar, pulling Yu Yinan stumbling forward. She brushed her lips against the tip of Yu Yinan's ear, whispering against her earlobe, "I have no interest whatsoever in the heart of a beast."
After saying this, Zheng Yi released the wrinkled collar, smoothed it out for Yu Yinan, and turned with a smile to walk back the way they came.
She clearly had no intention of going any deeper.
[…She's just been through too many shocks, and you deceived her like that. It's normal for her to be confused for a while.] Zero One hesitated. It couldn't deny that Zheng Yi's words, while harsh, were correct. But, but! Didn't Zheng Yi love "believers" who would completely dedicate their lives and souls to her, providing her with Saint Points? When she tortured those people, she didn't treat them like humans at all.
For some reason, Zero One didn't continue. It stared at Zheng Yi's back, then glanced at Yu Yinan, who was frozen in place. A belated sense of surprise dawned on it.
Zheng Yi's figure grew smaller in the distance, showing no sign of stopping to wait. Yu Yinan finally snapped out of her daze and hurried to catch up, though she still felt a sense of helplessness.
"But," Yu Yinan wanted to say something, but her thoughts grew more chaotic as she tried to speak. "Zheng Yi, do you want me to hate you?"
"I hesitated, I struggled. That note… I burned it with my own hands." Yu Yinan walked behind Zheng Yi. As Zheng Yi kept walking, she followed. Not having to meet Zheng Yi's eyes, just looking at her back, Yu Yinan found she could slowly voice her thoughts. "That night, I woke up not long after you left. I didn't sleep at all."
"Maybe I should hate you. You played me for a fool so easily. You're a complete and utter liar, but when it comes to what you actually lied to me about, what harm you actually did to me… I can't say. Maybe just my feelings?" Yu Yinan let out a self-deprecating laugh. "But I've never been good at handling any kind of feelings to begin with."
"Someone like me probably can't receive sincere affection, nor do I deserve genuine love." The affection and love Yu Yinan mocked were not limited to one specific type, but encompassed all forms of emotion.
"My homeroom teacher helped me so much, and I just… transferred some money to her every month after I started working. I didn't even dare to go back, dare to return to that city, dare to visit her." Yu Yinan looked down at the dirt under her feet, at the winding tree roots, at the weeds and tender shoots sprouting from the ground, at the fine gravel—at anything but the figure slowing down in front of her. "This is the kind of person I am. The person I hate the most—indecisive, insecure, timid, and cowardly. I can't be anyone's pride. I would only disappoint her."
"They abandoned me and forgot about me for so long, yet it's only recently that I've accepted the truth and faced reality."
"This is the real me." Yu Yinan took a deep breath. "I thought burying myself in work, part-time jobs, and overtime late into the night would give me a fulfilling life, but it didn't. I thought riding my motorcycle wildly through the suburbs would let me forget everything and become brave, but that was just an illusion."
"In the apocalypse, when I met you, I actually wanted to abandon you many times. I thought you were reckless, too kind, that you would drag me down. I hate muddle-headed saints, hate people who are so kind they're stupid. But I couldn't bring myself to do anything." Her voice grew softer, as if she were peeling away layers of her own skin, making it hard to even breathe. "The one I hate is myself."
Yu Yinan stopped in her tracks.
Her head was bowed, her entire being seemingly drained of life. She was keenly aware of her own flaws and shortcomings, passively sinking into an abyss, dragged down by a mire.
She should have… made peace with her past long ago. She should have given up on her unrealistic fantasies. She shouldn't have pursued an unattainable, perfect life.
Zheng Yi despised volunteer teaching and chicken soup for the soul. She had no desire to be some kind of spiritual mentor. The fact that she had, on a whim, said what she did to Yu Yinan was already incredible.
She continued walking forward with near indifference. The footsteps behind her had long since stopped. Suddenly, she halted and turned to look at the solitary figure standing in the woods.
"Are you waiting for me to redeem you?" she asked coldly. "Or do you plan on becoming fertilizer for the forest?"
"Yu Yinan, how have you survived until now? On your helpless hatred for yourself? Or on the complete negation of the first half of your life?"
Of course not.
The flaws she had listed would sometimes manifest in her as their opposites.
"Be normal," Yu Yinan heard Zheng Yi say.
Zero One heard this most abnormal person say such a thing.
It vaguely sensed some of Zheng Yi's thoughts. During their increasingly dull interactions, the courage that instinctively erupted from that contradictory yet resilient soul at certain moments was probably quite captivating.
"Is this… not normal?" Yu Yinan asked in a low voice. "Maybe I really am sick."
"…" Zheng Yi finally walked over, grabbed Yu Yinan's wrist, and dragged her back along the path they had come.
Yu Yinan stumbled along, nearly tripping over a root. But Zheng Yi didn't care if she could keep up; she just pulled her forward.
Once they were out of the woods, Zheng Yi pointed at the tree roots snaking across the road and the vines wrapped around various buildings. "Burn it all clean."
Yu Yinan shook her head, looked at the red mark on her wrist, and finally surfaced from the suffocating emotions. She tried to concentrate, temporarily blocking out the decadent, negative thoughts, and focused on igniting a flame in her palm.
"Precise control." Zheng Yi raised a hand and pointed at a vine wrapped around a streetlight. In the next instant, the plant's surface was covered in frost. With a mere thought, the ice shattered, and the vine broke apart with it, falling onto the road.
Yu Yinan frowned, concentrating intently as she divided her flame, letting a small flicker touch the ivy covering a wall. She controlled the fire, making it "devour" the plant inch by inch. But even so, the moment her concentration lapsed, the flames blackened the wall.
An armchair made of ice appeared in the middle of the road. Zheng Yi casually took out a down jacket to cushion it, sat down, and popped a hard candy into her mouth, crunching on it loudly.
[Are you using this method to let her vent so she stops overthinking?]
'I want her to stop bothering me.'
[…] Zero One was at a loss for words.
It fell silent, quietly watching Zheng Yi sit there, watching Yu Yinan struggle to control her ability with minute precision, trying to master the release and retraction of her flames and their heat.
This level of fine control was incredibly draining on one's mental energy. After just ten minutes, Yu Yinan's focus began to waver. But a quick glance at Zheng Yi was enough to make her concentrate again. With some difficulty, she continued to compress the flame, making it burn the very tips of the vine's leaves, trying to control the speed at which the fire spread.
After half an hour, a stabbing pain in her mind made it impossible to concentrate any longer. Forget fine control; even summoning another flame was difficult. Her lips turned pale, and as waves of needle-like pain washed over her, she gradually remembered what she had said to Zheng Yi.
She covered her face with her hand, having lost her composure. The mental fatigue and stabbing pain pulled at her nerves. Yu Yinan felt the agony and began to regret her earlier words.
She really shouldn't be like this.
How had she survived alone until now? No one in this world would die just because someone else left them. Zheng Yi had no obligation to comfort her, accompany her, or even be honest with her.
Ultimately, after three months together under a false pretense, she and Zheng Yi… didn't have a very deep connection.
She had enjoyed Zheng Yi's kindness and care, enjoyed being called "Jiejie" in that seemingly coquettish way, enjoyed the pretense that when she was with Zheng Yi, she was the center of her world. That meticulous care and protection had even given her the illusion that she was "special."
The bright moon's pure radiance is exceptionally gentle. Only when you look around do you realize this moonlight doesn't fall on you alone, only then do you know this bright moon is but a flower in the mirror, a moon in the water—a false illusion.
The pain spread from her mind to her body. Yu Yinan's hand trembled as she opened her palm. The flickering, insubstantial flame finally solidified again, dancing in her hand.
A shattered reality, a shattered life. Yu Yinan stared at the flame in her palm. The more she pushed her ability, the more intense the stabbing pain in her head became, changing from fine silver needles to sharp blades, flaying her every nerve and preventing her from concentrating.
This was a kind of protective mechanism. In the face of such pain, ability users would usually not stubbornly push their abilities past their limits; the pain would make it harder for them to use their powers.
Sparks scattered to the ground. Agony, suffering.
When Zheng Yi went to that base alone, facing so many ability users, did she also feel this kind of torture?
Yu Yinan still remembered the terrifyingly thick web of red in Zheng Yi's eyes at dawn that night; her eyeballs had looked like they were about to explode. At that moment, was Zheng Yi also constantly experiencing the agony of this mental flaying?
Flickers of flame were controlled and divided. Yu Yinan endured the mental torment, her vision blurring from the pain, but she stubbornly continued to finely control the small flames she separated.
What more could she lose? She wasn't even afraid of death. It was just pain, just suffering.
In this apocalypse, who could completely escape suffering?
"That's enough." A blurry figure appeared in her field of vision, and a cool hand clasped her wrist.
Yu Yinan tried hard to see her clearly, her eyes wide. The flame dissipated the moment her concentration broke. She looked at that face, its features exactly the same as in her memory, yet so disjointedly transformed into another, unfamiliar being.
This is… Zheng Yi.
Yu Yinan smiled, but it looked more painful than crying. "Zheng Yi, it hurts so much."
She raised her arms and hugged the person before her tightly. Zheng Yi's expression was indifferent; even with Yu Yinan's tearful plea, she showed no particular emotion. But she didn't move, allowing Yu Yinan to hold her tight, to draw a warmth from her that perhaps didn't even exist.
"What do I have to do for you to see me? What do I have to do for you to like me?"
"Zheng Yi, hold me." Yu Yinan hugged Zheng Yi tightly, so hard that she herself felt a suffocating ache, but this pain was nothing compared to her mental anguish. In fact, it gave her a strange sense of satisfaction. "What's in your heart?"
"Jiejie, I am a person without a heart." Zheng Yi's voice was a light laugh, like an exhalation. "It can't hold anything."
"You're tired." Zheng Yi's voice was incredibly gentle as she raised a hand to stroke Yu Yinan's back. "You're too desperate to be loved."
Any kind of love, from anyone.
How could someone who didn't even understand their own heart, their own budding feelings, give that emotion away and expect love in return?
Yu Yinan suddenly pushed Zheng Yi away. Her mind felt like it had shattered into many small pieces. She abruptly wrapped her arms around Zheng Yi's neck, held the back of her head, and kissed her hard.
She was clumsy and inexperienced, with no technique to speak of, driven only by a torrent of desire and longing to be closer, more intimate with this person. Her lips moved restlessly over Zheng Yi's, but the moment she met those indifferent black eyes, tears suddenly rolled down her cheeks. "Do you think I'm ridiculous?"
"No." Zheng Yi lowered her gaze slightly, her eyes clear and devoid of desire. "I just think you're incredibly foolish."
How could she?
It was Zheng Yi who had provoked her, deceived her, and put her in this position. During all their time together, beneath her innocent and kind facade, was she also judging her from on high like this, sighing carelessly, "So gullible," "So foolish"?
The mental torment finally got to her. Yu Yinan vaguely remembered the blood-tinged kiss from that day. The conflict and confusion in her mind made her want to escape, but there was nowhere to run. A pitifully naive part of her still hoped: that everything could go back to the way it was, as if it had never happened.
She longed for Zheng Yi to call her Jiejie like before, to hold her in her heart. She longed for Zheng Yi's comfort, like when they huddled together during the extreme cold. Even if what she longed for was fake, she stubbornly wanted to find the "truth" within the lie. As if only then would she have enough motivation to live, to channel all her emotions into love, pour it into Zheng Yi, and demand love in return.
But it was impossible. Deep down, Yu Yinan knew clearly that there was no going back.
She didn't want this clarity.
She bit Zheng Yi's lip, her actions urgent and reckless. Her tears fell on Zheng Yi, tasting of salt and iron. Through her tear-filled eyes, through the watery haze, she saw that Zheng Yi didn't even frown. Blood just seeped from her lip, spreading like vermilion rouge.
Zheng Yi just watched her quietly, as if looking at a misbehaving child, or a pitiful little dog covered in wounds and bluffing.
Yu Yinan finally quieted down.
She closed her eyes, raised a hand to wipe the wetness from her face, the stabbing pain in her head growing clearer. "I'm sorry."
She murmured in a low voice, "I'm sorry…"
Zheng Yi licked the blood from her lip, then pressed her hand to it, healing the wound with her ability.
The car with their luggage appeared beside Zheng Yi. She took out the key and opened the door. "Go get some sleep."
"You're too weak."
Yu Yinan curled up in the back seat. The small space made her look cramped and pitiful.
Zheng Yi didn't start the car right away. She glanced at the tree roots that had crept onto the road and hadn't been completely burned away. Her ability erupted over a large area in an instant!
It was as if winter had arrived overnight.
The frost shattered. The ivy and vines clinging to the buildings rustled and fell. The thin ice broke upon hitting the ground and melted into the air.
The entrenched tree roots were easily severed by water blades. Zheng Yi closed her eyes slightly, concentrating on controlling the high-pressure blades, as if she were wielding them herself, slashing down fiercely from a distance.
The greater the distance and the larger the area, the harder it was to control an ability, and correspondingly, the more mental energy it consumed.
Zero One silently admired Zheng Yi clearing the area, forcing the forest's life back to the foot of Sugui Mountain.
Were other ability users too weak, too untalented?
No. The apocalypse hadn't been going on for that long. Even the most talented person would have only awakened their ability about three months ago. Even the male and female protagonists from the original novel could never have reached Zheng Yi's current, terrifying level.
Zero One recalled the other apocalyptic original novels it had observed. Many of them emphasized the smallness and powerlessness of humanity, focusing on the indomitable spirit and the unquenchable flame, highlighting the power of unity, the weight of the soul.
But here, after it bound itself to Zheng Yi, she continuously expanded Zero One's horizons.
To this day, it still didn't know where Zheng Yi's limits were.
[Doesn't this level of power release cause you discomfort?] For a moment, Zero One really wanted to install a module that would allow it to share its host's senses. But in the system, such a module would never be approved. First, there was the privacy issue, and second…
A system would encounter many, many hosts. Becoming too empathetic with any single one would affect its future work.
But Zero One didn't care much about that anymore. It had already decided to take a long vacation after this mission. Performance, missions—it didn't care if it was disciplined by the main system. After experiencing Zheng Yi, it simply couldn't revert to its previous nurturing mindset.
'It's just some pain.' Late that night, Zheng Yi had continuously used her ability despite the constant warnings of mental backlash. The intense mental agony that accumulated and multiplied afterward was what had truly affected her. That was why she had completely exposed herself to Yu Yinan, rather than patiently continuing the charade.
But this level of exertion now? It didn't affect Zheng Yi in the slightest.
She cleaned up the entire road, feeling the tearing sensation in her mind. She slowly turned, opened the car door, and sat in the driver's seat. Just as she inserted the key and started the vehicle, Yu Yinan, who had sat up from the back seat at some point, said, "Let me."
Clearly, she had seen Zheng Yi's "cleanup."
Zheng Yi ignored her, turned the steering wheel, drove back a short distance, and parked the car downstairs.
She reclined her seat slightly, lay back, and closed her eyes to rest.
Yu Yinan watched her, her hands falling limply, her fingertips curling.
Did she really love Zheng Yi?
This, the real Zheng Yi.
The dual assault of mental pain and exhaustion hit them. Yu Yinan and Zheng Yi fell into a deep sleep in the car.
Zero One stayed in the system space, watching the light and shadows change outside the window. It watched the sunlight turn a warm orange, stretching the buildings' shadows ever longer.
The clouds on the horizon burned like a fiery inferno. They seemed motionless, yet they were changing every second. Zero One watched quietly, then suddenly remembered something. It glanced at the sleeping Zheng Yi and Yu Yinan, and with a simple operation, saved the image of the fiery sunset clouds.
The apocalypse, oh, the apocalypse. It seemed to have no effect on the workings of heaven and earth. The sun rose as usual, and the moon still waxed and waned. Evolved creatures continued to survive, leaving only the lives that should have been eliminated to struggle on, searching for a sliver of hope.
As this thought occurred to it, Zero One sighed again: What apocalypse? This was originally just a world in a book. It would be whatever the original novel said it would be.
Night swept in, hiding the daylight. Stars were scattered like decorations across the curtain of the sky. Zero One counted them out of boredom, thinking that the original author probably wouldn't have bothered to write down exactly how many stars would appear on each night in the book.
It counted from one side to the other. When it reached the two hundred and eighteenth star, a light drizzle began to fall from the sky. At first, there were just a few raindrops of varying sizes, then long streaks sliding down the window.
In a few breaths, the rain suddenly intensified. As if trying to get its job done all at once, bean-sized raindrops smashed down, drumming against the car roof and windows, putting a filter over the entire world outside.
Zero One tried to continue counting its stars through the downpour, only to find that the once star-studded night sky was now like a wiped-clean blackboard, with nothing left.
Was this the second great rain of the original novel?
The second rain that gave ordinary people infinite hope and infinite pain.
When ability users were caught in this rain, the water would cause them a heart-piercing, bone-eroding pain, as if it were corroding all their flesh and skin. But upon closer inspection, their skin would be completely unharmed. The pain was both real and illusory.
And ordinary people… would have a chance to become ability users, to gain special abilities. The probability was the same as the first rain.
This torrential downpour also became a precious, sought-after resource in the apocalypse.
Zombies? Mutated beasts? Mutated plants? They received the same treatment as ability users. After the second great rain, the true apocalypse would finally bare its fangs to the unsuspecting masses.
"It's raining." Zheng Yi had woken up at some point. She lowered the car window, and the violent raindrops quickly splashed inside. Concentrating slightly, she felt a faint resistance when she tried to manipulate this special rainwater.
But it was only faint.
An invisible umbrella formed over the car. The raindrops falling from the dark night sky parted around it, and the sound of rain hitting the roof finally stopped.
Yu Yinan woke up as well. She sat up straight and looked out the window with Zheng Yi. "Does this rain have the same effect as before?"
"Yes." Zheng Yi chuckled lightly. "It will make ability users suffer, and through that suffering, they will grow stronger."
Yu Yinan reached out and touched the rainwater on the window. The dampness and a searing, stabbing pain appeared on her fingertip simultaneously, chasing away the last vestiges of her sleepiness.
Suddenly, Yu Yinan took off her jacket, pushed open the car door, and stepped into the rain.
The downpour mercilessly slammed down on her head, drenching her from head to toe. Yu Yinan was completely immersed in the storm, yet it felt as if she were in molten lava. The fiery, burning sensation almost made her think her skin was being flayed. The outer layer was burned away, and the newly formed flesh underneath was ruthlessly pressed into scorching molten iron. She nearly fainted. An unexpected, heart-wrenching scream tore through the night sky, only to be abruptly silenced the next moment.
Blood trickled from between her teeth. For a moment, Yu Yinan wanted to flee, but when her eyes met Zheng Yi's in the car, she clenched her jaw even tighter. She stood up straight in the rain, her body trembling uncontrollably—a physiological response to the agony.
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