Behind the Mask - Chapter 3
Chapter 3: Memory
Darkness. Clothes scattered in disarray. A faint warmth amidst the bitter cold.
Bodies entwined.
A world of chaos—
First, Chu Ye's eyelashes fluttered, a flicker of awareness returning. The feeling spread, making her conscious of her own breathing. Her body, like ice and snow beginning to melt, slowly reawakened.
Consciousness had woken her.
Chu Ye opened her eyes to an unfamiliar room and a soft bed. She sat up with effort and rubbed her head. It felt as if a section of her memory had been removed, leaving her momentarily lost.
After sitting dazedly on the bed for a moment, the fragmented pieces began to reassemble in her mind: the escape, the snowy forest, the blizzard, the stone cave, being trapped…
Still alive? Chu Ye looked down at herself. She was wearing clean clothes that were not her own.
She only remembered carrying Bai Ning on her back and collapsing in the snow. She had lost consciousness at that moment and couldn't recall anything that happened afterward.
Where was this? And Bai Ning? Was she still alive? Chu Ye's mind was a mess. Just as she was about to get out of bed, the door creaked open and someone entered.
It was a young girl, dressed like a maidservant. "You're finally awake!"
Sensing the girl's goodwill, Chu Ye lowered her guard. "Where is this?" she asked.
"This is the Bai Manor," the young maidservant said, blinking. "You've been unconscious for five days since you were brought down from the mountain. It's a relief you're finally awake."
Chu Ye's mind was still fuzzy. It took her a moment to process the maidservant's words and understand that she must have been rescued by people from the Bai Manor.
"And Bai… your young miss?" Chu Ye thought of Bai Ning, a wave of worry washing over her. "Is she all right?"
The young maidservant told her, "My lady is fine. It's all thanks to Miss Chu's desperate protection that she was able to return safely."
Chu Ye let out a long sigh of relief. It was good she was safe.
Chu Ye asked the maidservant a few more questions, and the girl answered them all.
Only then did she learn that she had hit her head on a rock when she fell that day and passed out. Fortunately, her Big Brother and the people from the Bai Manor had found her and Bai Ning in time, allowing them to escape and return.
Ever since they were separated during the rescue attempt, Big Brother had been searching for her without giving up.
"Miss Chu, please rest and recover here in the manor. If you need anything, just call for me. My name is Xiao Tao."
"Thank you."
Xiao Tao then asked if there was anything she wanted to eat. Chu Ye had no appetite, so she said anything would be fine.
After Xiao Tao left, Chu Ye walked around the room. Her own set of clothes had been washed and were neatly folded to the side. On top of the clothes lay a handkerchief.
Chu Ye picked it up. There were no bloodstains; it had been washed clean. This was the handkerchief Bai Ning had used to wipe the blood from her face. Bai Ning had casually tossed it aside in the cave, but Chu Ye had secretly picked it up.
From the rescue to being trapped, to now—it all felt like a dream.
Fortunately, they had both survived.
Clutching the handkerchief, Chu Ye wondered, Should I go see Second Miss Bai? After all, they had faced life and death together. Second Miss Bai was different from her other employers…
But on second thought, she was just a guard paid to do a job. Once the mission was over, they would have no further connection. What reason did she have to disturb a young lady of a great house? It was highly inappropriate.
Chu Ye stared at the embroidery on the handkerchief, hesitating.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps outside, followed by a few knocks on the door.
It must be Xiao Tao, she thought. Chu Ye took a few steps and pulled the door open.
As the door opened, a gust of cold air rushed in, carrying a faint, pleasant fragrance.
A coolly beautiful face suddenly appeared before her. Chu Ye stared at the person in front of her, stunned for an inappropriately long moment.
Her hair was arranged in an exquisite coiffure, her makeup light and elegant. She was no longer the haggard, fallen noble lady from that day, but a graceful beauty who seemed to have stepped out of a painting.
"You just woke up. You shouldn't be walking around. You need to stay in bed and rest." As she spoke, Bai Ning entered the room and closed the door, afraid the cold air would give the weakened girl a chill.
Her voice was as gentle as ever, as was the look in her eyes when she gazed at people. Chu Ye was suddenly at a loss for words. She had always considered herself merely uneloquent, but in front of Bai Ning, she felt utterly tongue-tied.
Seeing Chu Ye just staring at her without speaking, Bai Ning softened her voice even more. "Is your head still dizzy?"
Chu Ye shook her head, then suddenly realized she was still holding the other woman's handkerchief. She guiltily tried to hide it, but unfortunately, Bai Ning had already noticed it.
Their eyes met, and both fell silent.
Chu Ye remained outwardly calm, but inside she was dying of embarrassment. Secretly keeping a handkerchief someone had thrown away—she would be seen as a weirdo, wouldn't she?
"I just thought the handkerchief was pretty, and it would be a shame to throw it away, so…" Chu Ye forced herself to explain. But after she finished, it only seemed to make things stranger. Bai Ning hadn't even asked why; her rushing to explain was a dead giveaway.
After a moment of silence, a faint smile appeared on Bai Ning's lips. "If you like it, shall I give you a few more?"
"No, thank you. This one is enough," Chu Ye replied.
Bai Ning smiled again. "Alright."
Chu Ye chided herself for overthinking. Second Miss Bai was well-read and reasonable, such an understanding woman would never think she was strange.
Before long, Xiao Tao brought in some food.
Bai Ning didn't leave, staying in the room to keep her company. Chu Ye thought to herself that Second Miss Bai was truly a kind person, completely lacking the airs of a noble lady.
Chu Ye ate a little. The complexion under her mask wasn't clear, but the color of her lips had become much rosier.
"The doctor said you have a head injury and need to rest quietly for a while. Just stay here and focus on getting better."
"There's no need to trouble you." Chu Ye was afraid she would get bored and not be used to living in a grand manor. Besides, she had never liked to trouble others.
"You were injured saving me. How could it be a trouble?" Bai Ning said. "Staying here will be convenient for the doctor's daily visits and prescriptions. You'll have people to take care of you, and your injury will heal faster."
If I stay here, will Second Miss Bai come to see me every day? A thought that even she found strange suddenly popped into Chu Ye's head.
"Miss Chu, please just stay and rest. Don't refuse my lady's kind intentions," the maidservant added.
"Then… I'll be troubling you," Chu Ye said in a low voice, glancing at Bai Ning.
"Hurry and drink your medicine," Bai Ning urged her.
The medicine smelled bitter, but Chu Ye was strong-willed and refused to show weakness in front of others. She picked up the celadon bowl with an air of nonchalance, intending to down it in one gulp. But after just one sip, her brows immediately knitted together. She couldn't keep up the pretense; the medicine was truly, incredibly bitter.
Bai Ning suppressed a laugh. "Is it bitter?"
Normally, Chu Ye would have put the bowl down and said, "I'm not drinking it." But then she heard Bai Ning's gentle voice, as if coaxing a child, "Drink it while it's hot. It'll be even more bitter when it's cold."
She held her breath and drank it all.
Bai Ning turned and gave her maidservant a look, and the girl produced a small packet of candied fruit.
Chu Ye eagerly popped a piece of candied fruit into her mouth. The sweetness enveloped the bitterness, and she finally felt better.
As she ate the fruit, she couldn't help but wonder, how did Second Miss Bai always seem to read her mind?
Chu Ye temporarily took up residence in the Bai Manor.
Big Brother came to visit her once and also told her to recover there in peace. After all, if they left, they wouldn't be able to find a physician as skilled as the one in the Bai Manor.
Bai Ning would also come to see her, making sure she drank her medicine and then giving her a packet of achingly sweet candied fruit. Though it was achingly sweet, she still loved to eat it.
Second Miss Bai is treating me so well because we shared a life-or-death experience, right? Chu Ye thought proudly as she savored the candied fruit. And a guard as dedicated and outstanding as me is one in a million.
Perhaps because of her head injury, Chu Ye had become much drowsier lately. She dreamed more often when she slept, and images would frequently flash through her mind, seeming like dreams yet also like things that had actually happened.
"Chu Ye…"
Someone was holding her, whispering her name in her ear.
The cramped stone cave. Dry straw from the pile pricking against naked skin.
Patches of darkness.
Within the darkness, bright images occasionally flashed: two completely naked bodies, holding each other, entwined on the pile of straw.
It was a woman. Long, loose hair tangled together. It was two women.
Breath gliding over skin, cheeks and lips pressing and rubbing against each other as if crazed, palms caressing ceaselessly, roaming over every inch of the body.
Chu Ye, in a daze, sat bolt upright in bed. The faint candlelight in the room flickered, casting a hazy yellow glow.
Her body was burning hot, even the tips of her ears were flushed. How could she dream of such… shameful images.
She must have damaged her brain when she fell.
Second Miss Bai was right. She had to obediently drink her medicine and rest well, or there would be lasting consequences.
Chu Ye didn't sleep for the rest of the night. She still couldn't believe that her mind was filled with such shameful images. People said that a girl's heart would have its first stirrings of love in her teens, but she had never even experienced that.
When Bai Ning came to visit, she noticed Chu Ye was more listless than usual, even with half her face hidden by the mask. "Didn't you sleep well last night?"
Chu Ye was lost in thought.
"What's wrong?" Bai Ning touched her hand, calling her name softly.
The moment their hands touched, the images in Chu Ye's mind seemed to gain a sense of touch, becoming even more real. She answered distractedly, "Yes, I didn't sleep very well last night."
"Is your head hurting again?" Bai Ning asked.
"No."
"Then you should lie down and rest. I won't disturb you."
After Bai Ning said this, she got up to leave. Chu Ye also felt she needed a good rest. It must be because she wasn't well-rested that the hallucinations in her mind were increasing. As long as she recovered her strength, everything would go back to normal.
Another two days passed, and she did indeed feel much better.
Chu Ye let out a heavy sigh of relief. She pushed open the window; it was still snowing outside. It had snowed so many times in Jingzhou this winter that it sometimes gave her the illusion of being back in Xizhou.
But Jingzhou couldn't compare to Xizhou. Jingzhou was a boring place. She thought again that once her Elder Sister's eye was cured, they could return to the snowy plains.
Amidst the quiet, snowy scenery, the sound of a zither suddenly drifted over.
Chu Ye had a strong ability to locate sounds, and this zither music was familiar to her.
Perhaps out of sheer boredom, Chu Ye left her room and followed the sound along the long corridor. As expected, it was coming from Second Miss Bai's courtyard.
Chu Ye didn't understand music, but she found it pleasant and soothing to the soul.
Before she knew it, she had walked to the outside of the study. Then she felt it would be presumptuous and improper to knock and enter. Torn, she stood outside for quite a while.
"Miss Chu, why don't you go inside? Isn't it cold standing out here?" Nuan Hua, holding a hand warmer, was walking over.
Chu Ye recognized Nuan Hua as Bai Ning's personal maidservant. Being called out like that made her extremely embarrassed; the person inside must have heard.
And sure enough.
The zither music from the study stopped. Bai Ning walked out of the room and looked at Chu Ye, whose hair was dotted with a few snowflakes. "Why didn't you come in?"
"It's fine. I was in my room for too long and just wanted to walk around," Chu Ye explained lamely.
Bai Ning raised a delicate eyebrow and said leisurely, "Oh? And you just happened to walk to my courtyard?"
"Huh?" Chu Ye took a second to react, then said with a straight face, "Yes, just happened to."
Bai Ning looked at her and couldn't help but smile. "Since you're bored, would you like to listen to me play? I've just composed a new piece these past two days."
"Okay," Chu Ye blurted out, her reply swift. The melodies Bai Ning composed were famous in Jingzhou. She often heard people in the markets and taverns discussing the Second Miss of the Bai Manor, unparalleled in both talent and beauty.
And so, during the dull days of her recovery, Chu Ye finally found some diversion. She liked watching Bai Ning play the zither. The music was beautiful, and the way the Second Miss looked with her head lowered, lightly plucking the strings, was also beautiful.
The only trouble was, it seemed that whenever she got close to Bai Ning, the images of two women embracing and entwining would inexplicably flash through her mind again.
Chu Ye felt she was being absurd. It was bad enough that she couldn't stop thinking about those things, but why did she always imagine the woman entwined with her… as Second Miss Bai.
A piece of music ended.
Bai Ning looked up and found a certain someone spacing out again. She stood up. "Come here, let me see."
"Hmm?" Chu Ye was confused.
Bai Ning had already approached and was staring at her forehead. After checking it, she said, "The wound has healed, but there's still a faint scar. Apply some White Jade Ointment, and it will fade in a few days."
Chu Ye had been in a fog these past few days and had completely forgotten about asking for White Jade Ointment to remove the scar. She touched her forehead. "Okay."
Bai Ning turned to get the White Jade Ointment, then sat down beside Chu Ye.
Seeing that she was about to help her, Chu Ye said, "I can do it myself."
Bai Ning smiled at her. "You can't see it. How can you apply it yourself?"
Chu Ye thought that made sense, so she did as she was told.
Bai Ning looked at her face again and said, "Take off your mask. No one will come in." When she played the zither, she usually didn't allow anyone to disturb her, and everyone knew this.
Since she had already shown her face to her before, Chu Ye listened to Bai Ning and obediently took off her mask. She realized that aside from her siblings, she was most obedient to Second Miss Bai. It was mainly because the Second Miss always spoke so gently, it made it impossible to refuse her.
With the mask off, Chu Ye tilted her face up toward Bai Ning to make it easier for her to apply the ointment.
Every time Bai Ning saw her being so docile, she wanted to smile. There was no trace of the ferocity she had when she drew her sword. She dabbed the white ointment with her fingertip and carefully spread it over the scar on Chu Ye's forehead.
Chu Ye suddenly realized, if she was just applying ointment to her forehead, why did she need to take off her mask?
But since it was already off, there was no need to say anything.
Face to face, their gazes inevitably wandered over each other's features, colliding from time to time. They were extremely close, so close she could feel the other's breath.
Chu Ye began to space out again.
A familiar scent…
A familiar touch…
Gazing at Bai Ning's eyes and brows, Chu Ye was momentarily stunned. She suddenly realized those images were not hallucinations, but fragmented memories. Now, as she and Bai Ning were so intimately close, these memories pieced themselves together, appearing in her mind scene by scene.
In the stone cave, Bai Ning had undone her clothes, removing them piece by piece, and had undone her own as well. She had held her, using her body to warm her.
She had clung to Bai Ning, desperate for heat, and Bai Ning, with her faint breath, had continuously brushed her lips across her neck, cheeks, and the corners of her mouth, using every last bit of her warmth to protect her.
The memories washed over Chu Ye, hazy, yet complete.
She remembered burrowing into Bai Ning's arms like a small animal, frantically drawing in her warmth. She had even pulled off the last undergarment on Bai Ning's body and embraced her tightly…
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