After Escaping Marriage - Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Director Tao, looking at the silent Yu Qingtang, said gently, "The school has decided to let you finish the semester as Class 7's homeroom teacher. After all, the mid-term exams are approaching, and you've already established a relationship with your students. There are no irreconcilable differences between you."
If they could resolve their issues during this time, it would be ideal.
Director Tao continued, "After receiving the complaints, I investigated the situation with the head of the year level and found that the students generally have a positive view of you and your teaching. However, your approach to classroom management needs improvement. A good homeroom teacher should foster a sense of unity and community within the class, not create division. As educators, our role is not only to teach but also to nurture. These students are at a crucial stage in their development, and if they don't feel respected and cared for, it could have a lasting impact on their lives. Even if we can't always have a positive influence, we should, at the very least, avoid causing harm. That's the bottom line."
Yu Qingtang turned the petition over, her eyes meeting Director Tao's, her expression calm and unreadable.
Seeing she wasn't crying, Director Tao relaxed slightly, his tone becoming lighter. "Your class representatives are quite interesting," he commented, trying to lighten the mood.
Yu Qingtang didn't respond, her dark eyes fixed on him.
Director Tao, momentarily speechless, took a sip of tea.
Ms. Yu was incredibly aloof, her expression unchanging, her very presence radiating a chilling aura. Even he, the head of academic affairs, felt the temperature in the room drop whenever their eyes met.
Composing himself, Director Tao cleared his throat and said, "Your class monitor is Li Lan, correct?"
Yu Qingtang nodded.
Director Tao continued, "She told me a lot when she submitted the petition."
Not expecting a response from Yu Qingtang, he continued, "She emphasized that they don't dislike you, nor do they hate you. She wanted me to make sure you knew that. They want a new homeroom teacher, but they don't want a new math teacher. They acknowledge your teaching abilities. However, your aloofness is affecting their motivation and their academic performance. In fact, their math scores have been declining in recent tests. They just want you to focus on what you're good at, on your teaching, and they don't want to force you to do something you're not comfortable with."
"You're an excellent teacher, Ms. Yu, but as a homeroom teacher, you still have room for improvement." Director Tao sighed. "This is the school's fault. We didn't consider this carefully enough when assigning you to be the homeroom teacher." Sicheng No. 1 High had a tradition of assigning new teachers to be homeroom teachers, especially those like Yu Qingtang, a graduate of a prestigious university, with excellent grades and seemingly strong abilities, especially a beautiful female teacher. While beauty wasn't a direct measure of competence, the school's experience had shown that, all other things being equal, a teacher's attractiveness had a positive correlation with student performance and motivation.
Yu Qingtang hadn't objected at the time, and Director Tao hadn't anticipated this outcome.
Yu Qingtang finally spoke, her voice calm and unwavering. "It's my fault," she said.
Director Tao: "..."
A student petition was a serious matter, a blow to a teacher's confidence and morale. Some teachers might even resign in anger. As the head of academic affairs, Director Tao was responsible not only for the students' well-being but also for the teachers' morale. After all, there were plenty of difficult students and unreasonable parents.
But with Yu Qingtang, he had expected to offer comfort and reassurance, yet his efforts seemed unnecessary.
She didn't seem to care at all.
Director Tao continued, "Your class representative also told me something I found rather perplexing, but I think I understand the general sentiment. She said they don't hate you yet, but your constant coldness is like pouring cold water on their enthusiasm. If this continues, it will create resentment, even strong dislike. To avoid that, they just want you to be their math teacher, someone who teaches and leaves, someone they don't have such high expectations for. You can continue teaching as usual, you can remain aloof, you don't have to respond to their efforts, and they will still like you, preserving the positive image they currently have. Because they like you, they don't want their 'white moonlight' to become just another grain of rice, their 'cinnabar mole' to turn into a mosquito bite." [Note: "White moonlight" (白月光) and "cinnabar mole" (朱砂痣) are Chinese idioms referring to someone deeply admired and cherished, often unattainable. The quote implies the students don't want their idealized image of Yu Qingtang to be tarnished by reality.]
Director Tao paused, then said with a sigh, "These students… I don't know whether to call them mature and rational, or naive and idealistic."
Idealistic to the point of foolishness. The adult world wasn't so simple. People's hearts weren't so easily compartmentalized. Their petition would either be rejected, or it would result in a change of both homeroom teacher and subject teacher. A less resilient teacher, someone with a stronger ego, might even resign.
A ripple of emotion flickered in Yu Qingtang's eyes.
Director Tao, changing his tone, smiled. "But that's also what makes them so endearing, isn't it?" he said.
He still remembered the pretty girl with the ponytail, handing him the petition, her fingers clutching the corner of the paper, her eyes red and teary, insisting he relay her message accurately. It had touched his heart.
Students were like that – frustrating yet endearing, sometimes making you want to pull your hair out, other times bringing tears to your eyes, but always with a touch of sweetness.
Director Tao stood up from his desk.
Yu Qingtang also stood up.
Director Tao said, "School is a place of learning not only for students but also for teachers. This is the first time we've been teachers and students to each other. We all have much to learn. For now, this is the school's decision. If you feel you cannot fulfill your duties as homeroom teacher for the remainder of the semester, you can inform the school, and we won't force you to continue."
Yu Qingtang's expression remained calm. "I'll consider it," she said.
"You're an excellent teacher, Ms. Yu. I hope this petition won't discourage you, and the school doesn't question your abilities." Director Tao sighed softly. Looking at her seriously, he said, "The students have their faults, but we're the teachers, the adults. We're here to guide them."
...
As Yu Qingtang left the director's office, Cheng Zhanxi rushed over, her face etched with worry. "What happened?" she asked.
Yu Qingtang, her expression unchanged, said calmly, "Nothing."
Before she could say anything more, Cheng Zhanxi grabbed her wrist and pulled her away.
Yu Qingtang: "Where are we going?"
Cheng Zhanxi didn't answer. Yu Qingtang didn't resist, letting Cheng Zhanxi lead her to the school's covered walkway. Wisteria vines, lush and vibrant, climbed the pillars and intertwined overhead, creating a canopy of purple blossoms. The walkway was always cool and shaded, even in the summer. It was class time, and they were the only two people there.
They sat down side by side.
Cheng Zhanxi: "What did Director Tao say?"
Yu Qingtang handed her the neatly folded petition.
Cheng Zhanxi took it and unfolded it, her eyes scanning the page.
After reading it, she remained silent for a long moment. Handing the petition back to Yu Qingtang, she gently covered Yu Qingtang's hand with her own. "Don't be sad, Ms. Yu," she said softly.
Yu Qingtang shook her head. "I'm not sad," she said.
Cheng Zhanxi, her voice gentle, asked, "Then what are you thinking about?"
Yu Qingtang: "I don't know."
"You've been spacing out a lot lately." Looking at Yu Qingtang's unfocused gaze, Cheng Zhanxi felt a dull ache in her chest.
"Have I?" Yu Qingtang asked.
"Yes. First with Xiang Tianyou, then after your talk with Li Lan." Cheng Zhanxi confirmed.
"Really?" Yu Qingtang asked, her voice slow and hesitant.
"Yes." Cheng Zhanxi reiterated. "What did you and Li Lan talk about on Monday evening?"
Why hadn't the situation improved? Why had it escalated to the point of a student petition?
Yu Qingtang remained silent.
"Ms. Yu!" Cheng Zhanxi exclaimed, taking Yu Qingtang's hand, her voice urgent.
Yu Qingtang slowly brought her gaze back from the empty space before her, her eyes falling on their joined hands, then on Cheng Zhanxi's worried expression.
Yu Qingtang's fingers twitched slightly, but she didn't pull her hand away. "The class monitor said I never offer them any encouragement or positive feedback," she said quietly. "That I've let them down."
"And?" Cheng Zhanxi prompted.
"I don't remember their names," Yu Qingtang admitted.
"…"
Cheng Zhanxi had been a student herself.
She understood the students' desire for recognition and praise, especially from someone like Yu Qingtang.
Everyone appreciated beauty. Cheng Zhanxi herself, watching Yu Qingtang teach, would often think that if she had had a teacher like Yu Qingtang, she would have excelled in math, even though she hated the subject. With Yu Qingtang's brilliance and beauty, her status as a Jinghua University graduate, students were naturally drawn to her, motivated to learn and impress her. Cheng Zhanxi remembered that even when Yu Qingtang was at her most aloof, at the beginning of the semester, students would still come to the office during breaks to ask her questions. It was clear they were just trying to get her attention.
But it was a double-edged sword. If students had an expectation level of 1 for ordinary teachers, their expectations for Yu Qingtang were probably at a 5. If other teachers ignored them, they might complain inwardly, but it wouldn't affect them too much. With Yu Qingtang, however, the initial adoration had now turned into resentment and disappointment.
And she was their homeroom teacher. The responsibilities of a homeroom teacher were far greater than those of a subject teacher. It wasn't enough to simply be a good teacher.
As much as Cheng Zhanxi liked Yu Qingtang, as much as she understood, from an adult perspective, that Yu Qingtang's behavior might be due to her personality, she couldn't, in good conscience, say that Yu Qingtang had done nothing wrong.
Not remembering her students' names was simply unforgivable.
But assigning blame was pointless. Cheng Zhanxi wanted to understand the root of the problem.
Remembering Yu Qingtang's behavior during Shen Ming's 5000m race, an idea sparked in Cheng Zhanxi's mind. "Can you not remember people's names and faces on purpose, or is it something you can't control?" she asked, her brow furrowing slightly.
Yu Qingtang, her gaze unfocused, said, "Both, I guess. I don't know."
Cheng Zhanxi: "???" Yu Qingtang, her voice calm and matter-of-fact, said, "I have prosopagnosia." [Note: Prosopagnosia is a neurological disorder characterized by the inability to recognize faces, also known as face blindness.]
Cheng Zhanxi: "………………"
Wait a minute. Had Yu Qingtang not recognized her those two times because…
The students were her priority, so Cheng Zhanxi pushed aside her own questions for now. "What about the other reason?" she asked.
Yu Qingtang was silent.
After a long pause, her voice flat and emotionless, she said, "The class monitor was right."
Cheng Zhanxi was confused, still not knowing exactly what Li Lan had said.
Cheng Zhanxi suddenly frowned. Why did Yu Qingtang rarely address Li Lan by name, always referring to her as "class monitor"?
Cheng Zhanxi's voice was low and serious. "Ms. Yu," she asked, "are you intentionally avoiding getting to know them?"
Yu Qingtang was silent for a long time before finally nodding.
Yu Qingtang simply wanted to fulfill her duties as a teacher. She didn't want to form emotional attachments with her students, so she had subconsciously avoided memorizing their names and faces. That day, when Cheng Zhanxi had brought Li Lan and Wu Peng to the office, Li Lan had been standing very close, close enough for Yu Qingtang to smell the fresh, clean scent of her uniform, close enough for Yu Qingtang to notice, for the first time, the small mole on the tip of Li Lan's nose.
After that, she had avoided looking directly at Li Lan's face, at that mole.
But unknowingly, her heart had still been touched by her students, a fact she herself hadn't realized.
Li Lan, Wu Peng, Lian Yabing, Tong Feifei, Xiang Tianyou, Lai Xin, Yu Zhou…
Cheng Zhanxi, her voice sharp and insightful, said, "But you still remember them, don't you?"
Otherwise, she wouldn't have been so distracted by Xiang Tianyou's behavior, wouldn't have reacted so strongly to Li Lan's words, wouldn't be sitting here so patiently, listening to Cheng Zhanxi talk about them.
Yu Qingtang's fingers tightened, and she turned to look at Cheng Zhanxi, her lips pursed, her eyes filled with a mix of emotions Cheng Zhanxi couldn't decipher. It was the same look she had given Cheng Zhanxi before going to the director's office.
Cheng Zhanxi's heart ached.
"Ms. Yu," she said, tightening her grip on Yu Qingtang's hand, "don't be sad."
Yu Qingtang insisted, "I'm not sad."
Cheng Zhanxi said firmly, "You are."
Yu Qingtang was silent for a moment, then whispered, "I don't know."
Cheng Zhanxi's eyes filled with tears.
Gently cupping Yu Qingtang's face, she looked into her dark, calm eyes, a ripple of emotion disturbing their usually still surface.
Cheng Zhanxi pulled Yu Qingtang's head down onto her shoulder, her arms wrapping around her in a gentle embrace.
Yu Qingtang's hands fell to her sides, and she closed her eyes.
The wind rustled the wisteria blossoms.
Cheng Zhanxi, having collected their bubble tea from the vendor outside the school gates, walked across the field towards Yu Qingtang, who was standing under a tree. Yu Qingtang, her gaze distant, stood quietly, seemingly lost in thought.
Cheng Zhanxi put two straws in the cup and handed it to Yu Qingtang.
Yu Qingtang: "No, thank you."
Cheng Zhanxi: "Do you want me to beg? If I lose face, it's your fault."
Yu Qingtang: "..."
She took a sip of the supposedly classic pearl milk tea. The unfamiliar texture of the tapioca pearls made her frown slightly.
Cheng Zhanxi smiled. "Chew and swallow," she instructed gently.
Yu Qingtang chewed and swallowed, but when Cheng Zhanxi offered her another sip, she shook her head and stepped back. "It tastes weird," she said.
Cheng Zhanxi: "I thought you weren't a picky eater? Don't you like tapioca pearls?"
Yu Qingtang was speechless.
Cheng Zhanxi: "Or maybe you just haven't tried enough different foods yet. I'll buy you every flavor from this shop until you find one you like."
Yu Qingtang: "..."
They walked around the track, Cheng Zhanxi coaxing Yu Qingtang into taking two more sips of the bubble tea. Finally, when Yu Qingtang firmly refused any more, Cheng Zhanxi finished the rest herself.
"What did the school decide?" she asked.
Yu Qingtang, no longer lost in thought, replied in her usual calm tone, "They're letting me finish the semester as homeroom teacher."
Cheng Zhanxi nodded thoughtfully.
Director Tao probably wanted to give Yu Qingtang more time to adjust, to build a better relationship with her students. Problems were common with new teachers and new students. The school had its reasons.
"Did he say anything else?" Cheng Zhanxi asked.
"…"
"Tell me! Think of it as a reward for the bubble tea," Cheng Zhanxi coaxed, wrapping her arm around Yu Qingtang's. "Jiejie," she said sweetly.
"…" Yu Qingtang pulled her arm away and, in a monotone, recited Director Tao's words, focusing on the part about why the students wanted a new homeroom teacher.
Cheng Zhanxi echoed Director Tao's earlier sentiment. "These children… they're so idealistic. I don't know what to say. What do you think, Ms. Yu?"
Yu Qingtang said, "Maybe I'm really not suited to be a homeroom teacher. I can't give them what they want."
She looked at Cheng Zhanxi seriously. "You'd be a much better homeroom teacher than I am," she said.
Cheng Zhanxi smiled.
She had only become a PE teacher, and even considered being a homeroom teacher, to pursue Yu Qingtang. Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?
"So, are you going to resign as homeroom teacher?" Cheng Zhanxi remembered Director Tao had given Yu Qingtang a choice.
Yu Qingtang didn't reply.
Cheng Zhanxi, a mischievous glint in her eyes, took a long sip of her bubble tea, then said, deliberately provoking Yu Qingtang, "It's probably for the best. Let those brats regret their actions. The adult world is cruel. It doesn't revolve around them. A broken heart can't be mended. It'll be a good life lesson for them."
Yu Qingtang's expression showed a hint of disapproval. "Ms. Cheng."
"Yes?"
"We're the teachers, they're the students," Yu Qingtang reminded her.
"So?" Cheng Zhanxi asked.
Yu Qingtang, rarely lecturing anyone, said haltingly, "We shouldn't hold grudges against children. Besides, it was my fault."
Cheng Zhanxi immediately adopted a contrite expression. "I understand. I won't do it again," she said.
Yu Qingtang felt something was off. Cheng Zhanxi seemed to be teasing her.
But the "artist filter" kicked in, and she dismissed her suspicions.
Cheng Zhanxi, her little scheme successful, felt a pang of jealousy. Yu Qingtang was defending her students, not Cheng Zhanxi!
After finishing their bubble tea, they returned to the office. Cheng Zhanxi had a lot of questions, but she could sense Yu Qingtang's emotional fragility after the petition incident. She would have to be patient. What worried Cheng Zhanxi the most was how Yu Qingtang seemed to have lost touch with her own emotions.
Expressing joy and sorrow were basic human instincts. Who had taken that away from her?
Yu Qingtang, sitting at her desk, preparing her lessons, seemed unaffected by the earlier meeting with Director Tao.
Cheng Zhanxi pressed too hard with her pen, tearing a hole in her scratch paper.
Yu Qingtang looked up at her, her expression questioning.
Cheng Zhanxi felt a sudden surge of emotion, and quickly smiled, forcing cheerfulness.
Yu Qingtang tilted her head slightly, her gaze lingering on Cheng Zhanxi.
Cheng Zhanxi's phone buzzed.
She picked it up.
[Yu Qingtang]: Don't be sad, Ms. Cheng.
Cheng Zhanxi felt a lump form in her throat. Was this a reciprocal gesture of comfort? Yu Qingtang had picked up on Cheng Zhanxi's earlier attempt at cheering her up.
She could sense other people's emotions but seemed oblivious to her own.
I'm not the one who should be sad, it's you, Cheng Zhanxi thought.
She quickly looked down, hiding her teary eyes. The bell rang for the third period break.
With the office about to fill up with people, Cheng Zhanxi kept her head down, taking deep breaths to compose herself.
A familiar voice called out from the doorway.
"Reporting for duty!"
Cheng Zhanxi was about to look up when she heard Yu Qingtang's cool voice, "Come in."
Lian Yabing, the math representative, stood at Yu Qingtang's desk, about to speak when tears started streaming down her face.
Yu Qingtang pushed the tissue box towards her.
Lian Yabing wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Ms. Yu," she sobbed, "I'm so sorry…"
Yu Qingtang: "..."
Lian Yabing continued crying for several minutes, her nose red and runny, her breathing ragged, drawing the attention of the other teachers in the office.
Yu Qingtang sighed softly, took two tissues from the box, and walked around her desk to wipe Lian Yabing's tears.
Cheng Zhanxi: "..."
She felt a pang of jealousy.
Lian Yabing froze, then quickly took the tissues from Yu Qingtang, stepping back. "No, no, no," she stammered.
Cheng Zhanxi, unable to watch any longer, interjected, "Why are you stuttering?"
Lian Yabing, looking from Cheng Zhanxi to Yu Qingtang, her mind a jumble, blurted out, "I'm not worthy!"
Cheng Zhanxi smiled. "Why not?" she asked.
If she remembered correctly, Lian Yabing was probably the first student to receive such a personal gesture of comfort from Yu Qingtang. Even the class monitor hadn't been shown such kindness.
Lian Yabing insisted, "I'm just not worthy!" Finally remembering her purpose, she boldly grabbed Yu Qingtang's arm. "Ms. Yu, please don't leave!" she sobbed. "We just wanted a new homeroom teacher. We didn't mean for you to leave! Please don't be angry with us!"
Cheng Zhanxi, deciding to stay out of it, turned back to her work.
But her attention was still on Yu Qingtang.
She remembered seeing Lian Yabing's name on the petition, and not in a low position either, given her role as a class representative. Cheng Zhanxi wondered what Yu Qingtang had been thinking when she had seen all those signatures, and now, with Lian Yabing crying and explaining herself, what was she feeling?
Lian Yabing continued crying throughout the break, leaving the office with her hand pressed against her forehead, complaining of a headache.
Yu Qingtang walked her to the door, then returned to her desk, staring blankly at her lesson plan.
Cheng Zhanxi watched her, not wanting to disturb her.
She saw Yu Qingtang reach for her phone, her fingers typing on the screen.
Cheng Zhanxi's phone lit up.
She picked it up.
[Yu Qingtang]: Ms. Cheng, I think I'm a little sad.
Cheng Zhanxi: hugs and kisses
P.S. Fiction is inspired by reality, but the plot and characters are fictional. There are countless schools and teachers in China, each with their own unique situations. Please don't try to apply this story to your own experiences.
Sigh..
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